A Family Man

by osborne, Sarah

  He turned and gave her a smile. “I guess it’s time for the ground rules, sugar.”

  “I don’t suppose we could give those a miss, Joe?”

  “Now you know that ain't gonna happen.” He chuckled. She loved to hear him laugh. “The only reason I’m agreeing to this, is because I trust you not to fuck it up. I’m expecting you to go to school, and if you find yourself falling behind, you will tell someone.”

  “Okay.”

  “The same rules that we have at home apply here. You don’t go out without letting your mom know where you’re going. You don’t stay out all night….”

  “Joe, please. I get it. I swear I’ll be good. The only reason I’m staying is to be near Mom.”

  “I know, sugar. But you got some rough times ahead.”

  “And you think that when the going gets tough, I’m gonna turn into my mother? Gee Joe, thanks for the vote of confidence.”

  “That ain't what I’m saying.”

  “Yes, it is. I get it, okay. My dad was a junkie, my mom has abused every substance known to man, and when she wasn’t getting out of her head she was fucking random strangers for the price of a fix. You’re scared I’m gonna do the same. Don’t try and deny it, Joe.”

  “Okay, yeah. I’m fucking terrified. Not just that you’ll get into drugs, but that some asshole is gonna fill your head full of shit an’ take advantage of you. I know you think you’re all grown up, an’ I’ve seen the way men look at you. But you’re still my little girl, Amy, and I hate the fact that I’m not gonna be around to protect you.”

  “I’m nearly seventeen. I’ll be fine.” She grinned. “I’m going to let you into a little secret, Joe. Most kids my age don’t have an enforcer as a guardian, and they survive just fine.”

  “You think I’m being overprotective?”

  “Just a little.” She kissed him on the cheek. “It’s okay, I like being the safest kid in Washington State.”

  “Well, you ain't in Seattle now.” He held out his hand. “Give me your phone.”

  With a sigh, she handed it over and watched as he started to key in numbers. “Joe, I don’t need an MC hotline.”

  “Indulge me, okay? I’ve put Spike’s number in there, you need anything and you can’t get me or Beth, call him.”

  “Spike? Really?”

  “Yeah I know he’s crazy, but he’s a good guy and you can trust him.” He grinned at her skeptical expression. “If Samson is in the area, I’ll get him to check in on you.”

  “Oh this gets better and better.” Amy rolled her eyes. “Joe, I promise I will do everything you ask.”

  “I know, sugar. I’m just having trouble letting go.”

  “Really? No shit. I’d never have guessed.”

  “Sarcastic bitch. C’mon, let’s get you home.”

  Reluctantly, she followed him to his bike. She didn’t want the day to end. He and Beth were leaving for Seattle in the morning, and more than anything, she wished she was going with them. She fastened her helmet and looked up, her eyes meeting his. “This is really hard, Joe.”

  “Yeah, sugar. It is.”

  They hadn’t spoken after that. Even after she’d climbed off his bike, neither had spoken. He’d just reached out and touched her cheek, before gunning the engine and riding away.

  ~ oOo ~

  As the weeks went by, Amy settled into a routine of sorts. She attended school on a pretty much regular basis, hardly skipping lessons at all. She was determined not to let Joe down, and was staying out of trouble. Most of her spare time was taken up by her mom or her younger brother in any case. After all, they were the reason she was there. On weekends, if he wasn’t staying with friends, she would take Jack to see a movie or to go bowling. He was a pleasant kid, easygoing, maybe a little too quiet, but good company, and she enjoyed the times she spent with him. In the evenings she would settle down and watch a chick flick with her mom, or if she felt well enough, go for a short walk to the park to feed the ducks and watch Jack ride his bike.

  Sometimes, when Maria was too sick to get out of bed, she’d take a day off school. She knew Joe would be pissed if he found out, but she didn’t care. There was no way she was leaving her mom when she was like that. On good days, when Maria was feeling strong enough, she would come home from school to a home-cooked meal and they would all sit around the table to eat; at least she and Jack did. Her mom didn’t eat much these days, but at least she'd make an effort. Amy loved days like that, when she could pretend her mom was fine and that were a regular family.

  As promised, she made regular calls home, usually to Beth—Joe was never one for small talk—and would visit Sophia at least once a week. She still missed her little family in Seattle, especially Joe. But life in Fillmore wasn’t so bad.

  “Hey, baby girl.”

  Amy looked up from her homework as her mom made her way slowly across the room and sank onto the sofa. “Hey. Can I get you anything?”

  “No, I’m good.”

  “You should eat, mom.”

  “I know, I will later. Can you leave that for a minute and come and sit with me?”

  “Sure.” Closing her book, Amy crossed the room and, tucking her legs under her, sat next to her mother. “You okay?”

  “Not really.” She gave a tiny smile. “I saw the doctor today. He thinks I should go into the hospital.”

  “So why are you here?”

  “What’s the point? It’s only putting off the inevitable. I can’t eat, Amy. Nothing stays down anymore. Just getting out of bed exhausts me. I’m tired, baby girl. Tired of feeling like this.”

  “Stop. I’m not going to listen to this.” Amy stood and turned to face her mom. “I know you’ve been having a rough time. But the hospital can fix you up, make you feel better. You can’t just give up. What about Jack? What about me?”

  “You’ll both be fine. Joe will take care of you.”

  “He shouldn’t have to, mom.”

  “No he shouldn’t. But he’s done a better job with you than I ever could. I’m sorry, Amy. Really, I am. These past few weeks have been wonderful, I am so grateful I got the chance to get my daughter back.” Her voice faltered and she closed her eyes. “I know I’ve not been much of a mom, but I do love you. Don’t ever forget that.”

  “I love you, too.” Amy sat back down and rested her head on Maria’s shoulder, blinking away her tears. “You know Jack doesn’t want to go to Seattle, don’t you?”

  “Yeah. Joe terrifies him. I do have a plan B, though.”

  “Oh, care to share?”

  “The family he goes to stay with all the time. They have fostered kids in the past. In fact, it was child services who hooked us up when I had to go into hospital for a few days last year. They have a kid the same age, and he and Jack get along really well.”

  “You’ve talked to them about this?”

  “Yeah, they’re happy to take him in.”

  “So why did you ask Joe?”

  “Because I would prefer it if you and your brother were together. You’re his only family.”

  “That won’t change, no matter where we live.” She sat up straighter. “If there’s one thing Joe has taught me, it’s that family is about more than blood. Jack should be where he feels most comfortable. There will always be a place for him in Seattle if things don’t work out here.”

  Maria smiled and took a deep, shuddering breath. “You’re a good girl, Amy. I’m so glad you didn’t take after me.”

  “You’re not so bad, mom.”

  “When I’m not getting stoned out of my mind and fucking random strangers, you mean?”

  “Yeah, something like that.” She smiled and took her hand. “How about I help you get into bed. You look exhausted.”

  As soon as she got her mom settled, Amy ran downstairs, picked up her cell and dialed. “Hey, Joe.”

  “Hey, sugar. What’s up?”

  “I need you here. I can’t do this on my own.”

  “Okay. I can be there by tomorrow ev
ening. Just hang on in there, sugar. I’m on my way.”

  ~ oOo ~

  “Beth.” Joe marched into the kitchen and laid his hand gently on her shoulder. “Amy just called. Kid’s freaking out, we need to get to California.”

  “Okay. When you planning on leaving? I’ll pack you some clean clothes, where are your saddlebags?”

  “Ain't taking my bike, sweetheart. We can take the truck, share the driving.”

  “Joe you can get there quicker on your bike. Me coming will slow you down, and Maria isn’t going to want me there.”

  “You won't slow me down, and I want you there.”

  “But..”

  “Beth, just shut the fuck up and get your shit together. We’ll leave as soon as we’ve eaten.”

  “I’ve got work.”

  “Fuck work. Your sister is dying, your niece is in pieces and your man needs his woman by his side.”

  “Okay, Joe. I get it, you want me there.” Reaching up she ran her finger through his hair. “You know I love you, right?”

  “Yeah, reckon you told me a few times.” He bent and kissed her. “Now get packing, I’ll finish the cooking.”

  “On it. Oh and try not to burn the house down.”

  “Smart-mouthed bitch.” Grinning, he slapped her ass then turned his attention to the steaks.

  They drove through the night, sharing the driving between them. They didn’t talk much; the only thing breaking the silence was the soft rock on the radio and the incessant chatter of the DJ. Beth closed her eyes and rested her head against the passenger window. In less than an hour they would be in California and once again she would be pushed to the sidelines while Joe danced attendance on her sister. Silently she berated herself for having such uncharitable thoughts. Maria was dying, and despite any bad blood that was between them, she did love her. She knew that this was why Joe wanted her there. To give them the chance to make things right before it was too late. She sighed. Maria may have forgiven him, but she couldn’t see that same forgiveness being offered to her.

  “You okay?”

  She opened her eyes at the feather light touch on her thigh. “Thinking too much.”

  “Hard not to, girl.”

  “I’m okay, Joe.”

  He nodded and fell silent again. Beth once more closed her eyes. Joe was never much of a talker and certainly didn’t feel the need to keep reassuring her that it was her he loved. Right now though, it would have been nice to hear it.

  When, fifteen hours after they set out, they arrived at Sophia’s house, they were both in need of a shower and a few hours' sleep. Joe, however, immediately left for Maria’s place, still eating the slice of toast his mom had made him.

  Sophia touched Beth lightly on the arm. “Why don’t you get some sleep. You look tired out.”

  “I’m okay. I’ll wait for Joe to come back.”

  “Nonsense. He could be gone for hours. If he needs you He’ll let you know. Sitting here fretting isn’t helping anyone. You’ve been on the road all night in that uncomfortable old truck. Now go to bed.”

  “I’m not fretting, Sophia.”

  “Sure you ain't. Please don’t tell me you’re still worried about Joe and Maria. Oh sweet Jesus, you are, aren’t you?” Taking Beth’s hand she hobbled to her battered old sofa. “Sit.”

  With a sigh, Beth did as she was told.

  “Now you listen to me, missy.” Sophia sat in the armchair opposite with a wince. “That son of mine wasted way too many years on your sister before finally pulling his head out of his ass and seeing what had been in front of him all along. I’m not going to lie to you and say he never loved her because we both know the truth, and maybe it’s unfair of me to ask this of you. But please be patient with him. He’ll probably try to deny it, but spending time with Maria is going to stir up old emotions, and if you let him, he’ll start pushing you away. None of this means that he loves you any less. He just doesn’t know what to do with what he’s feeling. Joe’s a fixer, but he can’t fix this, and it’s going to tear him apart.”

  “I know that he loves me, Sophia. At least that’s what my head is telling me.”

  “And your heart?”

  “That I’m the consolation prize.”

  “Oh, sweetheart. You so are far from being that. Joe loves you, really loves you. He would never set you aside for her.”

  “I hope you’re right.”

  “Oh, when it comes to Joe, I’m rarely wrong.”

  ~ oOo ~

  More than anything, Maria would have loved to run into Joe’s arms. But watching as he hugged her daughter she had to content herself with standing, one hand clutching the door frame, and waiting until he came to her. As their eyes met, she made a supreme effort and on shaky legs took a step towards him. “Hey.”

  “M.” Suddenly she was in his arms. “Oh shit, baby girl.” He gently led her to the sofa and sat her down. “You gonna explain why Amy would be freaking out enough to want me here?”

  “I guess it’s because I don’t want to go into the hospital.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’ve had enough.”

  “Not your call, M.” He turned to where Amy was leaning against the door watching their exchange. “Go call the hospital, sugar. Tell them your mom is on her way.”

  “No.” Amy walked over and sat on the other side of him. “If mom wants to stay here then she should.”

  “If you don’t want her to go into the hospital, why did you call me?”

  “Because she doesn’t want to have to deal with me dying on her own, you dolt.” Maria, shifted and gasped as the pain shot across her abdomen. She held up her hand at the expression on Joe’s face. “I’m okay.”

  “Sure you are.” He touched her face and closing her eyes she leaned into his touch. “Please go to the hospital, M.”

  “I can’t Joe.” She opened her eyes. “If I’m going to die, I want to do it in my own home.”

  “Shit, you sound like my fucking mother.” Joe he ran his hand over his head. “You really think me an’ Amy are gonna sit here an’ watch you die? You either get your ass to the hospital or I’m outta here an’ I’m taking Amy with me.”

  “That’s not fair Joe.”

  “Don’t care, M.”

  “Fine.” She didn’t have the strength to argue. “Amy, do as he says.”

  Amy grinned and pulled out her cell. “You know you can’t argue with Joe.”

  ~ oOo ~

  Maria laid back on the crisp white pillows and scowled. “You can stop looking so smug. I’m still pissed at you, Tiny Taylor.” The drive to the hospital had nearly killed her, but now the pain killers were starting to kick in and with fluids being pumped into her body, she was feeling just a little better. She wasn’t going to tell him that, though.

  Joe smirked. “So you ain't feeling better then, M?”

  “Yes, I’m feeling better. But then I always did like morphine.” She smiled and touched his hand. “Still going to die, though.”

  Joe pulled a chair closer to the bed and sitting down, pressed her fingers to his lips. “World’s gonna be a duller place without you in it.”

  “If I could stay I would, Joe.” She closed her eyes and a solitary tear ran down her cheek. “Will you stay with me?”

  “Of course.”

  As she watched Joe and her sister through the window, Beth felt her heart shatter into a million pieces. As soon as he’d called and said that Maria was in the hospital and didn’t have long left, she hadn’t hesitated. If there was the smallest chance that Maria would see her she’d take it, and if not she needed to be there to support Amy and Jack. She had tried to tell herself that the only reason Joe was there was some misguided sense of loyalty. But now, watching him stroking her hair and kissing her fingers, she knew she was kidding herself. She didn’t care what he said, she really was only second best. She turned on her heel and hurried towards the nearest exit, desperate to get as far away from them as she could.

  Rounding t
he corner, two coffee cups in her hands, Amy caught a glimpse of her aunt disappearing through the doors at the end of the corridor. One look through the window into the room where her mother was lying told her why. “Oh, shit. Joe you are such a fucking idiot.” She followed Beth out into a small courtyard. “Beth, wait up.”

  Beth sighed and waited for her niece. “I’m okay, Amy.”

  “Sure you are.” She sat on a stone bench overlooking a rose garden. “You know that Joe loves you?”

  “I know he says he does.” She took a cup from Amy. “But you saw what he’s like with your mom.”

  Amy sighed and rolled her eyes. “Beth, I love you and you are the smartest person I know. But sometimes you really are dumb. Back there, what did you see?”

  “You know what I saw.”

  “No. I know what I saw. Joe does love my mom, but not like you think. I didn’t see a man in love with a woman back there. I saw a man comforting a dying friend. All I ever see when they’re together is guilt, regret and pity.” She grinned at Beth’s raised eyebrows. “When Joe watches you organizing a barbecue or goofing around with his brothers when they come for dinner, he’s so proud of you. It’s written all over his face. Shit, Beth. He worships the ground you walk on.” She kissed her on the cheek. “I’m going back in. You can come in with me, or you can sit out here boohooing cuz you think Joe don’t love you enough.”

  “Wow. I guess I should consider myself told.” Beth gave a shaky smile. “You go on in. I’ll join you in a bit.”

  Beth watched as her niece headed back into the hospital, and took a sip of the coffee. She should go back in, but it was nice out here in the sun, and she couldn’t bring herself to face them.

  The door opened again and she turned and watched as Joe approached. He grinned. “Think you stole my coffee, girl.”