Tipping Point

by Maisie Johansson

  If the word awestruck came with a photo beside it in the dictionary, Caroline was it. She had been standing outside their hotel when the chirp of crickets was broken by the sound of heels on stone. Her head snapped up and she saw the most beautiful sight she had ever seen.

  Rhetta was stood there, smiling at her. Caroline blinked rapidly, willing herself not to stare at Rhetta’s long, tanned legs or focus on the way that her light summer dress finished just above her knee.

  “Hi,” Rhetta greeted, the flutter of nervousness in her belly melting away at the cute wonder in Caroline’s gaze and the way she was standing there, anxiously scuffing the gravel with the toe of her shoe.

  Caroline swallowed. “Err – H – Hi.”

  Rhetta giggled and took a step towards her, her mind going back to how Fenton had called Caroline a player. If that was true, she was going to take Caroline’s nervousness as even more of a compliment. Plus, it was totally adorable.

  “So cutie,” Rhetta said, smoothing out the wrinkles in Caroline’s t-shirt, “where are we going on our first date?”

  Rhetta bit her lip and looked up into Caroline’s eyes. The move worked a trick and Caroline quickly recovered from her fluster. She held her arm out for Rhetta to take and hailed a cab with the other.

  “That’s for me to know and for you to find out.” She opened the cab door and offered her hand to help Rhetta get in. Before shutting the door, she winked. “And besides, that all depends on how the next few hours go, gorgeous.”

  The door shut with a clink and Rhetta watched Caroline walk around to the driver’s side and hand him a piece of paper and folded banknote. The door opposite her opened and Caroline got smoothly inside.

  “I hope that you can walk on the beach in those heels of yours, Princess,” Caroline teased, using that nickname for the first time.

  Rhetta’s mouth dropped open to protest, but Caroline creased over with laughter before she could utter a word.

  Rhetta rolled her eyes and turned to look out the window, hiding her smile. “You think you’re such a Stud.”

  “I don’t think, Princess. I know.”

  …

  Rhetta was pulled from the memory she heard Perinnel shriek and felt the cool drops of water on her cheeks. She regained her senses in time to realise that Perinnel – newly soaked by Caroline – wasn’t running away from her attacker, but was running towards her. Before she could react, Perinnel had her hands pinned behind her back and was holding the remainder of her water over Rhetta’s head.

  “One more step, Williams, and the girl gets it,” Perinnel threatened, her voice breaking with a giggle.

  Caroline shrugged. “I was planning on throwing her in the ocean at some point anyway. It’s kind of a tradition.”

  “Caroline!” Rhetta exclaimed, trying to wrench free. Caroline used the distraction to dash in and snatch Rhetta from Perinnel’s grasp, throwing the rest of her water over Perinnel as they made their escape.

  “I can’t believe that you guys ganged up on me!” Perinnel exclaimed, her eyes wide with shock.

  Caroline smirked, squeezing Rhetta to her side. “Really, you can’t believe that we ganged up on you?”

  Perinnel rolled her eyes, water dripping from her soaked racerback. “I really should have listened to Natalie when she warned me off hanging out with you guys.”

  “Hey!” Rhetta cried. “We’re awesome to hang out with! Caroline even promised to do yoga with you and everyone knows how hard it is for her to sit still for more than five minutes.”

  Caroline deflated. “Awww, the yoga. I forgot about that.”

  “Why don’t you go down to the beach and Perinnel and I’ll join you in a little while,” Rhetta suggested. “You’d only spend the whole time distracting me anyway.”

  Both women chuckled as Caroline zipped off excitedly to find the quickest way down to the beach.

  “Yup,” Rhetta laughed, “I’m marrying a puppy.”

  ...

  Ten minutes later, Rhetta and Perinnel were sat cross-legged atop the cliff, the silence between them broken only by the sound of waves crashing against the beach below. Caroline was somewhere down there, skipping stones in the surf and occasionally whooping when she managed a particularly long sequence of skims. Rhetta couldn’t help but smile when she heard it. People might tease her now and then about Caroline’s child-like behaviour, but Rhetta loved the child-like wonder and enthusiasm with which Caroline so often looked at the world. Anyone who had been through everything that Caroline had been through had every right to be bitter and jaded. But not Caroline. She had a beautiful spirit that couldn’t be broken and Rhetta was thankful for that every day.

  “Can - can I ask you something?” Perinnel asked cautiously, her voice so quiet that Rhetta thought for a moment that she had imagined it.

  “Sure,” Rhetta answered gently. “You can ask me anything.”

  Perinnel took a deep breath and Rhetta waited for her to continue.

  “How did you know that you liked Caroline as…”

  When Perinnel didn’t finish, Rhetta opened her eyes and turned to her. “How did I know that I liked her as more than a friend?”

  Perinnel gulped and nodded, her eyes still closed. “Yeah.”

  Rhetta squeezed Perinnel’s knee to get her attention. When Perinnel opened her eyes, Rhetta smiled at her softly. “I know that’s not a very helpful answer, but I knew the moment that I saw her. For Caro and me, it was love at first sight. There wasn’t really much room for me to wonder.”

  “And it was that easy?” Perinnel asked, her eyes full of tentative hopefulness. “Happily ever after?”

  “Of course not,” Rhetta laughed softly. “God, no. At first, we were in our own little bubble. I let my heart rule my head. It was easy. She was so gentle and patient, despite her bravado, and I was so in love that I couldn’t think of anything but her when we were together.”

  …

  “We should get up before anyone notices that we’re missing,” Caroline said softly as she gently brushed the baby hairs back off of Rhetta’s forehead. It was the first night of their second camp together and they had snuck off to the roof for some time alone.

  Rhetta whined and snuggled in closer to Caroline’s side. “Just a little longer. Pleeeeeaaaaaase.”

  “We came out here to watch the sunrise. The sun has risen, Princess,” Caroline chuckled, pressing a kiss to the top of Rhetta’s head.

  Rhetta rolled her eyes. “We came out here to fool around. You just said that you wanted to watch the sunrise with me to make it sound romantic.”

  Despite Rhetta’s teasing, they hadn’t done much more than kiss. Caroline was determined to do things right with Rhetta and she was being chivalrous to a fault.

  “Hey,” Caroline shimmied down amongst the blankets and turned Rhetta’s face until she could look her deep in the eyes. “I really did want to watch the sunrise with you. I like you, R. A lot. I don’t just want to fool around with you. I want to make moments with you that I can remember when we’re apart again.”

  Rhetta smiled and rubbed their noses together. “You’re sweet, you know that?”

  Caroline blushed.

  “Sweet,” Rhetta continued, “and kind and funny and beautiful.”

  Caroline’s blush deepened even more and she looked away from Rhetta and up at the lightening sky. “No one’s ever called me beautiful before.”

  A cool hand slipping under Caroline’s shirt at her back brought Caroline’s attention back to the woman lying beside her.

  “You’re beautiful,” Rhetta breathed. “So awe-inspiringly beautiful that sometimes I can’t believe that you’re real.”

  Before Caroline could protest again, Rhetta rolled on top of Caroline and snuggled into her chest.

  “And I really, really like you too, Caro,” Rhetta swore. She didn’t care if they were missed. All that mattered was that she and Caroline were together, even if she was too afraid to tell her that yet that she was pretty sure that sh
e loved her. No, not pretty sure – she knew.

  …

  The memory made Rhetta smile absently and she longed to be down on the beach with her love, making new moments to remember instead of being up on the cliff, recalling those moments to someone else – not matter how noble the endeavour.

  She focused on a different memory. One that, when she looked back on it, made her proud. Proud that she had been so uninhibited. Proud that she had never hidden from Sam or her best friend, no matter how new and scary being with a woman had seemed back then.

  …

  They walked slowly from the stairwell, both trying to extend their date as long as possible, shuffling their feet until finally Caroline tripped.

  “Smooth,” Rhetta laughed. When Caroline gave her puppy dog eyes she rolled her eyes and gave her a conciliatory kiss on the cheek. “Don’t worry, Stud, I still think you’re a Casanova.”

  “Please,” Caroline scoffed. “Casanova would kill to have my game.”

  “Oh, I’m sure,” Rhetta giggled as they finally reached her door. “I had a wonderful time tonight, Caroline.”

  “Me too,” Caroline smiled. “I was wondering… Do you think that, maybe, I could have your number?”

  Instead of giggling, Rhetta smiled warmly at the utterly adorable woman shifting from foot to foot in front of her. “I think that could be arranged.”

  Caroline pulled out her phone from her back pocket and held it awkwardly between them. Rhetta chuckled and grabbed the phone, typing in her number under the name ‘Princess’ – a nickname that Caroline had already used several times during their evening. Rhetta kind of liked it, even if her Frankfurt teammates did use it to tease her.

  “Does this mean that I can take you out again?” Caroline asked hopefully.

  “How about breakfast on Wednesday?” Rhetta suggested, since they had that morning off. “We could head up to that café on the roof or go somewhere else?”

  “Somewhere else,” Caroline said decisively. “I don’t want any interruptions when I give you your good morning kiss.”

  Rhetta smirked. “Pretty sure that you’re gonna get one, aren’t you?”

  Caroline smiled and leaned in. “Just a hunch.”

  Their lips touched gently before Caroline’s hand caressed Rhetta’s cheek, causing the smaller woman to lean into her, deepening the kiss until both of their heads were spinning.

  “Wow. That was some goodnight kiss, Princess,” Caroline charmed, brushing her lips against Rhetta’s one more time before taking a step backwards and standing there, her hands behind her back.

  “What are you doing?” Rhetta giggled.

  “Watching until you get safely inside,” Caroline said sincerely. “I wouldn’t be much of a date if I left you alone on your doorstep. Or at least where your doorstep would be if we weren’t in a hotel.”

  Rhetta giggled again, she seemed to be doing that a lot around Caroline. “You’re going to have to stop being that cute, you know, or I’m going to be wrapped around your little finger. And I had pretty much planned on it being the other way around.”

  “Don’t worry, Princess. It already is. Now go on, off to bed with you. I don’t want to be to blame for a sleepy Morsten tomorrow morning. I hear that you’re gonna be the next big thing. I wouldn’t want to mess with that,” Caroline teased.

  Rhetta slid her keycard into the slot and snuck inside, waving goodnight.

  She found her room quiet and dark. Fenton was already asleep and Rhetta knew that she would be cranky if Rhetta woke her up to tell her about how amazing her date with Caroline had been. But Fenton was the only one she had told. It only took Rhetta ten seconds to decide on what to do next.

  She perched on the edge of the bathtub, her laptop balanced on her knees, and double clicked on Sam’s name.

  A few seconds later, his grinning face popped up on screen. “Hey sugarplum, what’s got you all smiley?”

  Rhetta smiled dreamily. “I just had the most amazing date ever.”

  “Oooooooooo,” Sam cooed, his eyes lighting up. “You better tell me everything, missey. So, who’s the guy that’s got you fawning like a highschool girl in love.”

  Rhetta’s stomach fluttered unpleasantly at the mention of a guy, but she didn’t let herself take enough time to think about it. Instead, she just blurted it out. “Actually it’s – err – it’s not a guy, Sam.”

  Sam’s eyes opened even wider.

  “Damn, sis.” And then, without missing another beat, “So, tell me about this girl who’s got you fawning like a high school girl in love.”

  …

  “And that was it? He didn’t ask you anything else about the fact that you were dating a woman?” Perinnel asked, shocked. She couldn’t imagine her own siblings being so blasé about it.

  “For a while,” Rhetta answered truthfully. “He knew not to push me at first and it was easy telling him about Caroline. He didn’t judge me or make me feel like what I was feeling or doing was weird. I told my best friend from home that same night. She was… not shocked. She and me go back forever and hearing her gush with me about how dreamy a date with Caroline had been left me feeling like I could take on the world. Caro and kept going on dates for the rest of camp. Not big ones like the first because we didn’t want anyone to know yet. So we went for breakfast and took our ice baths together and sat together at dinner, holding hand under the table.”

  “What about when camp was over?” Perinnel asked. “Was it harder then.”

  “It was harder when we were apart,” Rhetta conceded. “I’d never felt anything that intense before and it made me question what I felt for my exes and that was confusing. I became more and more sure that what I was feeling was love. But if it was love, then I’d never been in love before, and I was pretty sure that I had been. Looking back on it now, it’s pretty obvious that I’d found ‘the one’ and my heart knew. It was just my head that was confused. And being confused, I kept it a secret from a lot of my friends and family. I was scared. I was scared that they would tell me that what I was doing wasn’t me, and that just like that the spell would be broken and I’d have to face the fact that maybe it wasn’t love, no matter how much it felt like it. I’d never been the kind of girl who believed in fairy tales and love at first sight. I spent the whole time waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

  …

  “I miss you,” Rhetta breathed into the silence, not even sure if Caroline was still awake. Despite all of Rhetta’s promises to the contrary, it was midnight before she found a moment alone amongst the shopping and decorating to phone her girlfriend, and soon Caroline’s sleepy conversation had faded to quiet. It was only the thought that Caroline might be asleep that made Rhetta say what she said next. “I love you.”

  There was a hitched breath on the other end of the line and Rhetta’s heart stopped.

  “I love you too, Princess,” Caroline whispered, like saying it was a relief.

  Tears prickled in Rhetta’s eyes and her breath caught in her throat. Her whole body was rushing with emotion the like of which she had never felt before.

  “Yeah?” Her voice was shaky and sounded like it was coming from underwater.

  Caroline chuckled. “How are you this surprised? Don’t I make you feel loved?”

  She did. She really did. No one had ever treated Rhetta like Caroline did. No one had ever made her feel the way that Caroline made her feel before. With Caroline, she felt invincible, like she was on top of the world, dancing amongst the stars. She was so happy that her family couldn’t help but notice. Her mom had been gently hinting that maybe Rhetta had something to tell her all day.

  “You make me feel like I can fly,” Rhetta breathed, tears streaming down her cheeks. “You make me feel like-”

  “The most beautiful girl in the world?” Caroline questioned. “That’s because you are, Princess.”

  “I’m going to tell them,” Rhetta choked out before she could talk herself out of it. “I’m going to tell my parents about
us.”

  “Yeah?” Caroline asked. It was her turn to be stunned.

  “Yeah,” Rhetta confirmed, her voice giving away how scared she was.

  “Don’t worry, Princess. No matter what happens, I’ll be here. All you need to do is call and I’ll hop in my car and drive like a lunatic until I have you safe in my arms.”

  Rhetta closed her eyes and remembered the feeling of being wrapped up in Caroline’s arms, her head nestled over Caroline’s heart. She hadn’t felt safer since she was a little girl and had believed that her parents arms were the safest places in the world.

  “I love you so much, baby,” she breathed.

  “Not as much as I love you, babe.”

  …

  “Caroline was a saint in those months,” Rhetta continued. “She never pushed but was always there when I needed her. When I told my parents, it was great. They wanted to meet her right away and they all hit it off. Suddenly everything felt easier. I told the rest of my friends and teammates. Things were good. Really good.”

  Rhetta’s smile faded. “But then I fucked it up and she left me.”

  Perinnel gasped audibly. She hadn’t know that Rhetta and Caroline had ever broken up. They were Rhetta and Caroline. They were as much a part of the team’s mythology as their world cup losses and triumphs or the big names like Kristine Lilly and Marilda Johnson. She couldn’t believe that they had broken up and she hadn’t heard about it.

  “What happened?” Perinnel asked eager to hear the story only because she knew it had a happy ending.

  “The World Cup. The loss and the media attention made me paranoid and distant. I missed her calls. I blew up at her over the stupidest little things. I was scared and defeated and she deserved so much better.” Rhetta looked down at the ground, tearing up handfuls of grass and discarding them. “I deserved it. I knew that it had been coming. I was on some stupid self-destruct kick. But it came… when she finally left me… I broke. Suddenly everything that I had felt over the two months since the loss was dwarfed by a pain so much greater than I ever could have imagined.”