Chloe

by J H Cardwell

  My dad walked in and everyone stiffened. He had been the one to tell them I was here and clear their arrival, simply because he knew I needed them. He introduced himself, then he walked over and knelt down in front of me. “Aunt Ronnie is on her way too.” I lifted my eyebrows at him. “Yeah, I finally got the nerve to call her. It was just like I feared.” He gave a soft chuckle. “She laid into me with curse words I haven’t even heard from my guys in the army.” He paused. “I deserved every one of them.”

  Dad also told me how John’s mother was on her way. They had delayed John’s dad’s funeral – I was sure it was in case they might have to have a double funeral. My eyes closed as intense emotions nearly took over my body again. Brett sensed my change and wrapped his arms around me. “I’m here for you Chloe. Always if you need me to be.” I nodded. I knew John would be growling right now if he could see Brett’s arms and hear his words. That brought a tiny smile to my face, one that quickly vanished at the firm realization that he wasn’t.

  The comfort that I received from the room full of my friends and family was enough to lift my spirits in a state of awe. I cleared my throat, determined to have some sense of normalcy.

  “Who has my sweet boy, Ty?”

  “My parents were itching for a reason to visit. They came late yesterday and will stay with him for a few days.” Tate answered, rubbing his hand up and down Reese’s arm. I couldn’t help but swoon at the notion, thinking of John. I quickly shook my head of the thoughts.

  “I’m sure they eat him up every time they’re with him.” I tried to laugh. “He probably has them wrapped tight around his finger. I bet they can’t wait for you to have more.”

  I turned to Maura. “I’m so sorry this has all happened so close to your big day Maura.”

  Harrison cut me off. “There’s no way we are doing anything without my boy there. We’ll wait for John. However long that takes.” His voice was muffled and mixed with so much pain. I looked again to Maura. But she was nodding her head in agreement, tears brimming in her eyes.

  We all fell silent. We had all been through so much together over the years. This was just one more roadblock and was sure not to be the last. I knew we would have to get through this. We just had too.

  “I know y’all have to be tired. It’s been a long few days for all of us. How about if I show you all your rooms and you can settle in?” They were all staying for at least a couple of days. My dad had plans for them to make rounds in the local hospitals. No news had come out about John being found or showing up at any hospital.

  “We can find our rooms Chloe. You stay and rest.” Finn said as they all stood and grabbed their bags. Brett was hesitant to leave me, I could tell, but, he leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

  “I’ll be back down in a few. Do you need anything?” Brett asked before he left the room. I shook my head no, and offered a small smile of appreciation for the offer.

  I closed my eyes briefly and when I opened them Reese, Elle, and Maura were all coming to kneel and sit around me. “Hey, your dad told his how you weren’t eating or drinking much and you were losing weight.” Maura pulled something out of her backpack. “I brought you some chocolate Ensure. I know you always said that was for old people, but I talked with my mom’s friend who’s a nurse. She said you need to get these nutrients if you aren’t getting them through food.” I turned my nose up, but I knew she was right. “I’ll put them in the refrigerator. I’m sure they will be much better cold.”

  “Thank you.” I inhaled deeply and smiled at Maura. “And thank you all for dropping what you were doing and coming down here. I can’t tell you how much I wanted to talk with you and see you all these last several weeks. I miss each of you.” My chin was quivering. I was afraid I was getting ready to crack in front of them. I fought hard to hold my composure.

  “Hey.” Reese came over and sat on one side, Elle on the other, and Maura was still in front of me. They all put their hands over mine which were resting on my lap. “I can’t imagine what you’re feeling Chloe. Maura told us about you and John.” Reese had tears in her eyes as she was staring right at me. “What you two have is real Chloe. John is a great guy, he really is. Maura says she knows you love him and that he genuinely loves you – not the infatuation kind of love, but real love. I believe it. You deserve it. You deserve a man like John.”

  I was crying now. I thought I could hold off, but I was full-on sobbing. “Had Reese. What we had was real.” I lifted my eyes to hers. “It was true love. I never imagined it, but it was pure bliss.” Reese threw her arms around me.

  “I know Chloe, and I know how it seems right now. But, you’ve got to be positive. We’re going to find him, and when we do, you’ll get your happily ever after.” We were all sniffling. Another group hug and Mr. Rojas was interrupting our crying session as he cleared his throat.

  “Mrs. Rider, Senora?” He handed me a tissue. “Here, please have the nutritious drink Senorita Maura brought you. She take good care of you; but, she’s right. You must take care of yourself, si? You look not so well Senora.” He poured the drink over ice and handed it to me after stirring with a straw.

  I agreed to drink it while they all watched me and held me to it. Afterwards, they decided to settle in upstairs. I wanted to take a shower and freshen up. Our plan was to make some calls and visit the hospitals while they were here. We still had to be under strict security measures, however, which made that job much harder.

  I really wanted to visit the Houston Rider oil office and rig, but my dad forbade it. He said they were still combing through everything and wouldn’t leave one stone unturned.

  As I was rummaging through my bag for a clean set of clothes, my hand skimmed across the leather binder with the Rider logo on the cover. John had put the snapshots of us from our Vegas wedding in it. My trembling hands had to try a couple of times to open it up. I nearly dropped the loose pictures as I my eyes gazed over the two of us. The uneasiness and fear in my eyes was so evident. I was more afraid of admitting what I really felt in my heart back then, I think, than of anything else. John actually looked content. He looked happy. The one of us kissing took my breath and I folded into myself on the bed, rocking back and forth. I remember the electricity I had never experienced with that kiss. It’s as if my body and mind knew the truth even back then.

  My aunt Ronnie arrived later in the day and after I broke down again with her, I was hoping that would be the last for a little while. I was really weak, weaker than I thought, and each time I cried, I grew more and more tired. But, I had a job to do. I had to find my husband.

  Chapter 33

  We called each hospital, checking with the admissions department, the urgent care areas, and the census office for each; just as we had every single day. We gave a description of John, along with the circumstances of how he would have been brought in with the other victims from the explosion at Rider Industries. Everyone was very sympathetic and promised to call if they had any news. Sadly, each one told us there was nothing to offer us as of now. This was the same song and dance my dad and I had gotten for days now.

  Our visits turned up much the same. We did go to several floors and give the spill we gave on the phone. It was easy navigating through the halls with local and national officers in front of and behind us. I got many of the same looks. The gesture was nice, I suppose. But if I saw another face with pursed lips and drawn eyebrows offering condolences I was going to tear someone’s hair out! I had to get out of there. The guys, except for Brett who hadn’t left my side, stayed behind at the last hospital walking around the burn center. They all figured he would have burns and might be treated there. The thought made me shudder. I couldn’t imagine him in pain and agony over dealing with burns, and God forbid what else. The fact that they would have no way to identify him was even scarier. What if he was unrecognizable? We may never know. That fact alone caused me to stumble on my way to the car.

  “Chloe!” Brett yelled. He caught me on my way down. He thr
ew his arms around my waist and pulled me near, turning me towards him at the last second. “I’ll never let you fall Chloe. God it kills me to see you hurting so bad.” He closed his eyes as I cried softly into his chest. I did I hurt so bad, I was making myself sick.

  Once we were back at home, I had the wonderful privilege of meeting John’s mother, Mariella. She was absolutely gorgeous. I had seen pictures, but I never had met her in person. John had said she was half Italian, and I could see that now, in her striking features. John got his raven black hair and warm, dark skin from her. She was as cold as ice though, and I could see why John never felt nurtured from his mother.

  “Oh darling,” she said pulling me into a forced hug and softly wiping her eyes at the slight tears that were present. “There, there, I just know they’re going to find him dear.” She was awkwardly patting my back. She held me at arms-length then and looked me over from head to toe. I know I must be a sight. My face was sunken in and my hair was in a messy side braid. I didn’t have on an ounce of makeup and my clothes were a rumpled t-shirt and shorts, and John’s nylon workout jacket. I was a hot mess. Up until now, it hadn’t bothered me in the least. I could feel each cynical thought of hers judging every inch of me.

  “Mrs. Rider. I’m so sorry for your loss, and now for John.” My lips and chin were quivering. Brett walked up behind me putting his hand on the small of my back to steady me in case I started to fall again. Her look roamed over his hands and his nearness to me in mock disgust.

  “Brett,” she acknowledged his presence finally, after her eyes perused from his hand around my waist up to his eyes.

  “Mrs. Rider. You look well. I’m sorry about Mr. Rider, and about your son.” Brett’s eyes dropped to the floor at the last part.

  “Yes. I can see how sorry you are. I’m not quite sure what you’re doing. I know you dated her,” she looked from Brett to me, “before, but if I’m not mistaken, she married my son.” She lifted her chin as if she had caught him.

  “Yes ma’am. I’m well aware.” He said through clenched teeth. “I do and always will care for Chloe. I’m here for her.” He looked into my eyes. “She needs a friend right now, and I plan to be just that.”

  She cleared her throat. “I was under the impression she had plenty of those. Dear where are those lovely girls I’ve heard so much about?” Lovely girls? What about me? She turned to look at me, really look at me. Rubbing her hand over my cheek I had no idea what she was thinking. “You have the most beautiful skin. And those eyes, green as the meadow. I can see why John was so taken with you. Tsk, tsk. The Rider men always did get sucked into a woman’s good looks. It’s a pity, it was nothing more.” My eyes widened with horror. How dare she? Before I could say anything, as if any words would come out, Brett jumped to my defense.

  “Mrs. Rider, please don’t put Chloe in that category. Yes, she is beautiful.” He glanced quickly at my face. “But she is SO much more, and John knew it. He loved her.”

  “Loves her, son. Loves her is what you should say.” She tskd again. “If I didn’t know any better, I would say you have already written my son off. I bet you’re hoping that to be the case anyhow, so you can have this girl back.” She turned to walk up the stairs. I had to physically hold Brett back from going after her. She summoned Mr. Rojas to bring her bag as he turned to give Brett and me a sympathetic look. He made a motion with his hand across his neck like ‘kill him now’. If I wasn’t so torn up by her comments, I would have laughed.

  Brett was pacing in front of me, and running his hand through his hair. “That woman has always hated that John and I were friends. She’s said I was trouble from day one. She didn’t even bother to keep it a secret the first time I met her.”

  “Brett, don’t let her get to you. She’s grieving, the old biddy. She never really had a marriage to John’s dad, and she’s probably full of regret and pain from all she missed out on in life.” I looked over at Brett. He was awfully quiet. I walked towards him, grabbing his hand to calm him down. He looked down at my hand in his and simply closed his eyes. He withdrew his hand and starting wringing his fingers together.

  “I miss John already. What if we don’t find him?” Oh God, not him now too. “I mean it Chloe. What if we don’t?” He looked at me with so much pain and question in his eyes. “What kind of bastard would I be if part of me doesn’t want to?” I was shaking my head and backing up slowly.

  “You don’t mean that Brett. You don’t. You’re just sleep-deprived and grieving. You’re worried. That’s all, you’re worried about John.” I wouldn’t accept Brett not wanting to have one of his best friends back.

  He kept his eyes directly on mine. His faced was pinched with agony. “Chloe, I’m sorry. I am a real piece of shit. I can’t believe what goes through my head. I’m sorry.” He said as he offered me a hug. I held my arms out stiffly. I couldn’t accept a hug from him, not right now.

  “I think you should sleep this off Brett. I’ve told you, I love you. I always will. You have been a wonderful friend and I will cherish all of our memories; but I can’t. I will never love you like that. I will never love you like I do John. I’m the one that’s sorry if I ever led you to believe it was more than fun and friendship.” I stood there wondering how he would truly feel if John never came back. I know deep down he would grieve over the loss of friendship. He loved John.

  Brett turned away from me and slowly walked towards the stairs. He spoke with his back to me. “John loves you Chloe. The bastard is too damn stubborn to let me have you even if you wanted me.” He gave a dry chuckle. “You’ll find him, and you two will have your happily ever after. And, I’ll love you both…like the friends you are. Goodnight Chloe.” God how I hoped he was right.

  I was about to head up to bed to roll around in my misery like I had the last few nights when my dad ran in the room with a sheet of paper. “Chloe! I think we’ve got him.” My eyes flew open, I was suddenly wide awake and unable to breathe. “Oh honey. I meant Sam. I think we’ve found Sam.” My heart was racing. I had to give myself a second to recover. I closed my eyes willing my heart to slow down.

  “It’s okay dad. I’m sorry. I just want news soon. I want to see John again soon.” My voice was tight and strained.

  “Baby girl, the not knowing is so hard and stressful. There are so many unanswered questions. But to find the asshole who is responsible and put him away would help us feel a little better, don’t you think?” He walked even closer to me. “I want to make sure he doesn’t have a chance to hurt you again. I couldn’t stand for him trying to take you from me, not now, not ever.” He paused right in front of me and ever so gently wrapped me in a loving hug. “You are so strong, so much like your mother Chloe. I’m so grateful to have you back in my life, I’m not letting anyone change that.” The tears came then, I was so spent with emotions.

  “Wait Daddy, tell me how they found him?” I asked wiping my tears.

  He looked at me with such sincerity and pride. “I love when you call me that Chloe. I went far too many years punishing myself and not hearing it.” He shook his head to get back to the situation at hand. “He tried to contact another ex-coworker. Someone who had been terminated from Rider Industries in the last year or so. That guy called the bounty hotline I had set up. He was more interested in making the money for turning Sam in than for protecting Sam, thank goodness. They just surrounded his car as he led them directly to his father and he didn’t even know it.”

  This time I hugged my dad fiercely. “You are so good at your job Dad. The Army is so lucky to have you! I can’t believe you caught him. We no longer have to hide and worry! Oh thank God!!” I squeezed him again.

  “Hey. We can’t let up completely on security. I want to make sure he didn’t have any other accomplices, but yeah, now we need to find John and get you two back to enjoying being newlyweds.” He leaned back to look at my face.

  “Okay Daddy. We will. Thank you.” I squeezed my big, gruffy, father and headed off to bed. I still couldn’t b
elieve he was here with me, and actually coming through on his promises too. I was silently thanking God, and asking for another miracle too. The one I had asked for every quiet moment for the last few days. I wanted John back to have and to hold, like the forever he promised me.

  Chapter 34

  I wanted to kill her. I thought of many ways to do it while she slept. I wondered which way would be the easiest and cause the least amount of stress and noise. John’s mother was a tyrant. A beast actually. It really was such a shame. She was a gorgeous woman, with a figure of a thirty year old. But, too much time being a part of the A-List of wealthy people had made her hard, and unaccepting. The worst part was that other than Mr. Rojas and my dad, I was left alone with her.

  My friends all had to get back to their lives and in Reese and Tate’s case, their little boy. Brett reluctantly headed back with Harrison and Maura. They all vowed to come back in two weeks if there was no new news and sooner if needed. Maura also postponed her wedding for six more weeks. She was so sure that John was lying somewhere with amnesia, she said this way he can have time to remember Harrison before he stands at the front of the church for him. I knew she was just trying to keep me filled with hope, but, I admitted that I couldn’t imagine her getting married without me there.

  I wasn’t leaving Houston until we found him, unless John’s mother made me leave like she kept hinting around. She had flown back to North Carolina after being here for just five days the first time. They went ahead with the funeral services for Mr. Rider. I was sad to think John didn’t get to attend, but I had the letter he had written John ready to show him. I hadn’t read it, but I was hoping it would make John happy when he read it…if he ever did.