Finding Kia

by Airicka Phoenix

  Mom dropped me off with a fistful of crumpled bills. She gave me her phone and told me to phone when I was ready to leave. I shoved both into the pocket of my baggy jeans as I hurried inside.

  The place was bustling, a cacophony of excitement as people rushed from shop to shop in search of fall savings. I cut a path straight for all my favorite stores without glancing at anything else. As much as I loved shopping, I wasn’t the sort to try stuff on or browse. I went in, grabbed what I liked and left. But I found myself eyeing the dresses, the cute tops with their funny sayings stamped on the front and jeans that actually fit, wondering things I had never once in my life considered before.

  Would those clothes make me look better? Would they help me fit in? Would I have more friends if I dressed like the girls flocking around the overflowing tables and colorful racks? It had never bothered me. Never. Not once. I never noticed that everyone else had more than one friend. I never noticed how happy and open others were. Did I look like that? Did I even know how to smile just because? I was happy, wasn’t I?

  Yes. I had to be! I had great parents. I had Nessie. I had my books. I had above average grades. I had my pick of any college or university. I had more than most people.

  An explosion of laughter from a nearby cubical caught my attention. I turned to watch a small group of girls huddled around the change rooms, posing in the wall of mirrors and taking pictures with their phones. Something in my chest pinched. I looked away.

  I wasn’t lonely. I couldn’t be. Nothing had changed. I was still me. I left the bundle of sweaters I’d picked up on a table of tights and hurried out of the store.

  I bought a frozen yogurt to soothe the burn in between my breasts. I took it with me as I strolled aimlessly through the mall, my mind stuffed full of nothing but questions, doubts and insecurities. I stopped in front of a gleaming window displaying a beautiful gown in emerald green. The gems along the bodice glittered beneath the tactfully placed lights. The dress did nothing for me. The strapless number looked uncomfortable, but two girls were eyeing it from inside, pointing and nodding appreciatively. So I stood and studied it, too, trying to see what they saw.

  “It would look beautiful with your eyes.”

  The voice shredded every consciousness I possessed. It broke a hole through time and space, ripping a squeak from me as I whipped around to face the owner. Adam smiled and I suddenly couldn’t think.

  “Hi,” he said, looking breathtaking in his gray jeans and black sweater.

  I found a spot on my sneakers and stared hard at it. “Hi.”

  “Shopping?” he asked.

  Unconsciously, I glanced at the only thing in my hands—my yogurt. “Yeah.”

  “Me too. I’m here for a tie. I lost the one I had.”

  No. No, you didn’t. I wanted to tell him. It was under my pillow, all neatly folded. I didn’t say that either.

  “Van said she’s been trying to call you.”

  I rubbed the itchy sweat off my palm on my hip. “Busy.”

  God this wasn’t working. I couldn’t look at him in fear of him recognizing my eyes. I couldn’t speak in case he recognized my voice. I couldn’t breathe because he was too close. I couldn’t think because he smelled so good and all I could think was how much I wanted to kiss him.

  “I have to go.”

  I almost made it. I ate twenty whole steps before he caught up with me.

  “Kia, wait.” His long fingers curled around my wrist and the familiar touch of his skin tore the ground out from beneath me. I jerked back, nearly tripping on my own feet in my haste to maintain sanity and distance.

  “What?” I croaked, turning to him.

  He rubbed the back of his head. “Are you okay?”

  Really? That was his question? Of course I wasn’t okay. Nothing felt like it would be okay again.

  “Fine.”

  His hands disappeared into his pockets. “I was about to get something to eat. Join me?”

  “No!” I blurted too fast. “I can’t. I …”

  His eyebrows furrowed. His eyes narrowed. “I’m hearing that a lot lately. I’m beginning to wonder if it’s me.”

  Guilt pierced through me. My shoulders sagged. “I’m sorry.” I didn’t give him a chance to respond or stop me. I ran this time, not stopping until I was across the mall, as far away from him as I could possibly get. I dug out Mom’s phone and called her to come get me.

  Chapter VII

  Piss Off The Piper

  “You broke the rules.”

  Lost in the delirium of my own existence, I didn’t bother glancing up from the meatloaf sandwich in my hand. “What rules?”

  Across my table, Claudia huffed, or maybe it was one of her shadows. “That tie wasn’t yours and even if it was, you weren’t supposed to leave the party until I said so. You certainly weren’t supposed to kiss him.”

  “You’re a cheater.” I ignored the horrified gasps from the Barbie twins. “Plus, you said the party was over. I assumed that was the signal.” I didn’t bother defending the kiss. I wasn’t going to talk to her about my kiss with Adam. That was personal. That was mine.

  “It wasn’t.”

  “Sue me.” I turned my attention back to the sandwich in my hands.

  Seconds of silence clicked by, stretching into minutes and I would have believed she’d left, but I knew she hadn’t. I felt her gaze burning into me like lasers.

  “You disrespected me.”

  I dropped the sandwich down and faced her. “By not letting you get what didn’t belong to you? Or by leaving?”

  “By not following the rules!”

  “Well, they were stupid rules!” I shot back, fusing all my anger and rage into every word. “The whole thing was stupid. You invited all those people and only half of them had dates while the rest weren’t even allowed to leave to save some face. On top of that, the people who weren’t happy with the dates that they got weren’t allowed to find new ones. You call that fun?”

  Her arms folded over her chest. “I didn’t see you weeping in a corner. If I recall correctly, you looked like you were having the time of your life with Gena’s date.”

  I didn’t know who Gena was until Barbie two folded her long arms and glowered with just a touch more venom than normal. Then it made sense.

  I turned back to Claudia, my face feeling hot with anger. “Adam wasn’t Gena’s date,” I countered tightly. “He was my date, the one I won fair and square, following the stupid rules you made. So no, I don’t think I disrespected you, or that I broke any real rules when you didn’t even follow them yourself.”

  Unlike her cronies, the ones who looked about ready to gouge my eyeballs out with their talons, Claudia smirked coolly. “Adam.” She purred his name in a tone that made me want to lunge across the table and smack her. “Gorgeous, isn’t he? Is that why you left? Because you knew he would never really want you once the mask came off?” She tipped her head ever so slightly to the side, giving all the illusions of the cat who had the canary cornered. “I bet he doesn’t even know who you are. Such a shame. Maybe it was better that you left. I bet Prince Charming wouldn’t be as riveted by his Cinderella if he knew what a four-eyed freak she was. Now, Gena here.” She gestured with a manicured hand towards the sassy brunette on her right. “Would have been just right for him. She’s the reason I invited Adam in the first place. It was unfortunate Joffery allowed you to remove that tie during the drawing. But …” She gave a delicate shrug. “If at first you don’t succeed … We’ll just have to work extra hard for Adam to notice our lovely Gena the old fashioned way.”

  It took a thick carpet of silence to drop over the cafeteria for me to realize my unexpected and unconscious actions. I had no recollection of getting to my feet, but there I was, squaring off with the beauty queens of Margaretson High … for Adam.

  As I previously mentioned, I was not a hero. I was not brave or daring. I did not save people or cause fights over boys. But I was ready to rearrange Claudia’s pretty face if
she even glanced in Adam’s direction. That new me, that new sulky, boy crazy, lunatic was just another nail in the coffin closing me in with my certainty that going to Claudia’s party had been a bad idea. I really hated the new person I’d become literally overnight. And I blamed her. I blamed this gorgeous, untouchable creature leering at me with all the sick pleasures of a snake toying with her food.

  “Did you have something to add?” Claudia purred, batting impossibly long lashes. She smiled pleasantly. “I didn’t think so.” She swiped a coil of ebony off her slim shoulder. “In fact, I wouldn’t speak at all. It would be tragic if word accidently got to Adam of your identity. Imagine the embarrassment you would cause him.” With the flounce of a runaway model, she started away, only to make it five feet before stopping and glancing back. “Oh, and, Kyra, you won’t be invited to another party, just in case you were wondering.”

  Then she and her two shadows were gone, leaving me alone to glower at my table.

  “Where have you been?” Nessie all but threw herself at me the moment she walked into Bio and spotted me. “I’ve been calling like every hour! Your mom was ready to get a restraining order. Then, I hear from Adam that you’re out shopping … without me? What gives?”

  “I’m sorry,” I muttered to my binder.

  “What is the matter with you?” She slammed her books down and flopped into her stool. “I told you to call me the—“

  Mrs. Pang stalked into the room then, saving me from having to lie, from having to blurt out the truth. Nessie made a face at her back and warned me that our conversation wasn’t over.

  Wonderful.

  Thankfully, she wound up with detention and I had to work, which saved me from having to go home and mope in my room or go to Nessie’s house and risk the chance of running into Adam. Plus, after I offered to clean the backroom, away from the customers and potential unwanted visitors, it actually gave me a lot of time to think about what I needed to do, because I really couldn’t keep avoiding Adam forever. I mean, I probably could. I was that good. But it was best for all involved if I just ended things once and for all. A clean break.

  I went home later that evening and trudged straight up to my room. I dumped my bag on the bed and reached beneath my pillow for the crimson tie. It unfurled as I pulled it out.

  It was solid red and, if I recalled, looked beautiful with his dark hair and tan complexion, so it stood to reason that the thing had to be returned, but that raised questions on how. Did I just walk up to him and say, hey, I forgot to return your tie! Silly me, or did I just leave it at his house the next time I went over? But what if he asked Nessie and she said I was the only one to come over that day? In the end, I decided I would mail it to him. Not through the post office, because then I’d need a return address, which would defeat the purpose. So, I folded it back up neatly, retrieved a bubble-padded envelope and slipped the stolen item inside. Then, in the most non-Kia print imaginable, I scrolled his name across the top.

  It was such a simple plan. So easy. What could possibly go wrong?

  Chapter VIII

  A Friend Of A Friend

  My plan was flawless. I walked Nessie to detention, waved her goodbye and strolled very casually to my locker where I grabbed my bag with, what I’d come to cleverly call The Package. Then I caught the bus and went straight to her house, which was almost always empty, from what she constantly told me. Her parents worked fulltime, or traveled all over for conferences and Adam was always busy with sports, or whatever it was he did. So, I was walking with a lot of confidence up the driveway. I pulled out the envelope from my bag, reached for the mailbox lid, and the front door flew open. I’ll admit it, I squeaked like a little girl at a funhouse.

  “Kia?”

  “Adam!” Then, in the same frantic breath. “You’re naked!”

  Technically, that wasn’t entirely true. I mean, I was not that lucky. No. He was wearing a towel, and miles and miles of taut, golden skin. His hair hung in damp curls over his forehead and there were beads of water clinging to the hard slopes of his shoulders. I had clearly come at a bad time … good time?

  “Sorry! I was just … and then … I didn’t … ” I blurted, already edging backwards. “I’ll just—”

  “Van isn’t here,” he interrupted my rambling. “She has detention.”

  “Oh!” I prayed to God my face looked surprised and not guilty. “Right. I guess I forgot.”

  “Is that for me?”

  I’d forgotten all about the package until he was pointing at it. “Uh … no!” I hugged it to my chest. “This … this is mine.”

  “It has my name on it.”

  I blinked again, hoping again I looked surprised and not like I wanted to die. “Does it? No. I’m sure it doesn’t.”

  “I’m sure—”

  I stuffed the package into my backpack, zipped it up and quickly swung the lot over my shoulder. “I should—”

  “Come inside.”

  “No, that’s not—”

  But he had already disappeared inside, leaving the door wide open. I could have run. I should have, but my feet were stepping over the threshold and my hand was closing the door behind me, sealing me in with the last person I should be alone with.

  “I’m going to get dressed,” he called over his shoulder as he climbed the stairs, giving me a very gorgeous view of his backside moving beneath the towel and his muscles roping along his back. The guy had a seriously beautiful back, wide shoulders, narrow waist, firm muscles. I could have happily stared at him forever and I probably was, because I jumped at the sound of my name. I blinked and focused and nearly winced to realize he’d caught me studying his progression up the stairs with what was probably a very goofy grin on my face.

  “I could accidently drop the towel if you’d like.” I knew he was teasing, but I couldn’t help blushing and averting my eyes. I didn’t look up again until he was out of sight, his low chuckle following him around the corner.

  Way to go, Ace! I scolded myself.

  Rules of etiquette failed me as I stayed rooted to that square patch of hardwood. I had no idea if it would be considered rude if I made myself at home. So, I kept the foyer company, rocking slightly back and forth on my heels. Luckily, the waiting time only lasted about five minutes, then he jogged down the stairs.

  “You could have sat,” he said.

  “I could have,” I agreed.

  He eyed me with amusement. “Hungry?”

  “Uh—” Why did I even bother trying to speak?

  “I’m making sandwiches.” He started towards the kitchen without waiting for me.

  I shuffled after him.

  He was buried waist deep in the fridge when I walked into the room. His arms were laden with an assortment of sandwich creating items that he turned and dumped on the island. I moved discreetly to the other end of the room, as far away from him as I could possibly go without physically leaving the house.

  “I’m not going to attack you,” he said, as he dusted his hands. “You can come closer.”

  Stop acting like an idiot, Valentines!

  Casually, like I wasn’t completely torn, I set my backpack on the table and walked over to where he stood. He said nothing, but there was a small smile curving the corner of his mouth as he slathered mayonnaise on a slice of bread.

  “How was school?” he asked after a moment.

  “Fine.” I hesitated before asking, “How was yours?”

  He used the tip of his pink tongue to clean a bit of mayo off his thumb. I was painfully reminded of that same tongue slipping into my mouth and moving over mine. Something hot sliced through me and my stomach muscles clenched. It took a great deal of control not to jump him.

  Unaware of the torture he was causing me, he shrugged, adding lettuce and thinly shaved pieces of corned beef to the bread. “Nothing to report. Had a quiz in Chemistry.”

  “How do you think you did?”

  He barked a laugh. “Awful. I was supposed to study over the weekend.”
>
  “Forgot?”

  He shook his head. “Got distracted.” He slid the plate with the sandwich across the table towards me. “I went to a party on Friday.”

  It took a great deal of effort on my part not to react, not to look up from the sandwich in front of me. “Yeah?” I prayed my voice sounded nonchalant.

  “A girl from your school invited me, a Claudia something.”

  “DeLorenzo,” I blurted without thinking.

  “Yeah, that’s it.” He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “So persistent. She cornered me at the store and insisted that I come to her party or else.”

  My laugh was weak and trailed off. “Yeah, Claudia’s like that.” I picked at the crust, peeling it away from the bread. “Did … did you have fun?”

  He sighed, the sound wistful. “Yeah, I did. More than I thought I would. Don’t like crust?”

  “I don’t hate it. I just don’t …” I laughed, shaking my head. “Yeah, I don’t like crust.”

  He was watching me when I dared a peek at him.

  I shifted nervously. “What?”

  He shook his head, diverting his attention back to his sandwich. “Nothing. Sorry. Your laugh … it reminded me of someone.” He gave an uncertain chuckle. “Sounds crazy.” He picked up his plate. “Want to watch TV?”

  Strangled by the spit I was trying to force down my throat, I could only nod.

  He motioned with a jerk of his head for me to follow and led the way into the sitting area. I took the spot on the other end of the sofa and sat stiffly as he plucked up the remote off the glass coffee table.

  “Any special requests?”

  I stared hard at the TV. “I don’t normally watch TV so I have no idea.”

  He flipped through a few channels, stopped and tossed me the remote. “Why don’t you find something?”

  I stared at the device between us on the cushion, eyebrows raised. “You’re freely giving me the remote?”

  He took a chomp of his sandwich and glanced at me. “Yeah.” He chewed and swallowed. “Why?”

  I shrugged. “I didn’t think guys knew how to do that, the whole sharing of the remote concept, I mean”