Finding Kia

by Airicka Phoenix

  The whole outfit felt alien on my body. The jeans were too tight and rode up into places that were beginning to chafe and the shirt was cute with its U-shaped collar and short sleeves, but I didn’t understand why there was a belt. It had come with the shirt and Nessie had warned me not to loop it through my jeans, that it actually went over the shirt, which seemed pointless now under my short jacket. The only thing I felt comfortable in were the boots that strapped on over my pant legs. I must have put it all together properly because I’d gotten more than one second glance from the male populous since I arrived. I even had one girl ask me where I’d gotten my jacket, which had never happened to me before. It kind of felt really good. It made the whole change thing seem worthwhile and exciting. Self-consciously, I touched my hair, hoping it and my makeup were still as perfectly intact as it had been earlier. But it wouldn’t be for much longer if Nessie didn’t hurry up.

  I glanced at Joanne’s phone. She was late by ten minutes. I snapped the phone closed and stuffed it into my back pocket, cursing myself for not thinking to bring a book.

  “Kia!”

  I snapped off the post and turned to face the owner of the voice. “Adam?” I looked past him. “Where’s Nessie?”

  “She couldn’t make it.” He stopped a few feet away from me, hair tussled by the wind, face flushed. He looked breathtaking in his jeans and Vina’s varsity jacket.

  “Is she okay?”

  He nodded. “Mom found the history test Van flunked on Friday. She’s grounded.”

  Disappointment curdled in my stomach. “So she’s not coming?”

  He shook his head. “Sorry.”

  “Oh.” I tried to conceal the regret weighing heavy in my chest. “Okay. Thanks for letting me know.”

  “Kia, wait.” His long, warm fingers wrapped around the bare skin of my wrist, stopping my retreat.

  I glanced down at his hand, then up at him.

  He seemed to realize what he was doing and slowly released me. “Sorry. I don’t mean to keep grabbing…” He forked his fingers back through his hair. “I’ve been hoping to see you since the other day at the house. I wanted … want to apologize.”

  I shook my head. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

  “I do. I never meant to sound like I was pitying you. I wasn’t. I really did have a test to study for that night.”

  “And did you study?” I asked, hoping to ease the tension.

  It almost worked. He chuckled, but it was weak. “No, actually. I felt horrible for everything that happened. I …” he trailed off. He moistened his lips. “I was hoping you’d let me make it up to you.”

  Without waiting for me to respond, he reached into his back pocket and removed something that he then held out to me.

  I took the slim pieces of cardboard. “The tickets.” I glanced up at him. “Why do you have them?”

  The corner of his mouth quirked upward. “Who do you think gave them to Van in the first place?”

  I stared at him. “I don’t understand.”

  He seemed to hesitate a split second before speaking, “I, uh.” He cleared his throat. “Someone recently told me that I was an idiot for having never seen the carnival. So, I bought the tickets hoping she would go with me, but …” He took the tickets from me and stared wistfully down at them. “I am most likely never going to see her again, so I gave them to Van.”

  “Oh.” I swallowed the hard lump in my throat.

  His beautiful eyes lifted and found mine. “I don’t want to go alone and I really don’t want to miss it.” He offered me a boyish grin that made my heart flutter. “Go with me?”

  He’d bought the tickets for me. Granted, he didn’t know it was me, but I couldn’t help be deeply touched by the unconscious gesture.

  “I’d love to.”

  With a smile that weakened my knees, he led me through the entrance way to the ticket kiosk. He offered the smiling woman there our tickets in exchange for bracelets.

  He turned to me while adjusting the sleeve of his jacket over the paper band. “Have you been here before?” he asked, eyes traveling over all the flashing lights and spinning machines.

  I waited until those eyes had finally settled on me before answering, “Every year. I love the carnival. I never miss it.”

  I held my breath, waiting to see if he would make the connection, if it would spark … something.

  But he only grinned. “Awesome. Lead the way.”

  Or not.

  I took him around the pier, pointing out all my favorite rides and games. I told him all my embarrassing stories and even pointed to the wastebasket that I’d gotten up close and personal with more than a few times. It amazed me how easy it was to talk to Adam once I got past my nerves and my fear of tripping over my own feet. Maybe it was the new look—something Adam had yet to comment on—but I felt confident and sexy and I wanted him to notice.

  “So, you’ve lived in Mayferd for eight years, how have you never visited the pier before?” I asked him, not entirely buying his story.

  Adam shrugged. “Never had a reason to. It always felt like the sort of place you’d bring someone special to.”

  “And you’ve never had anyone special to bring?” The doubt must have shown in my question because he glanced at me with absolute seriousness.

  “No.”

  I looked away first. “So, what do you want to do first?”

  He took in the giant machines with their flashing lights and deafening noise. “Something safe,” he replied evenly.

  I wasn’t sure I heard him right. “Safe?”

  He nodded, turning his attention back to me. “Well, you being a girl and all, I don’t want you to get scared.”

  My jaw unhinged. “Excuse me? Buddy, I grew up on these rides!” I saw the twinkle of amusement in his eyes before I even finished my rant. “Okay. You’re on. Any ride and I bet you’ll scream before I do.”

  His eyebrow lifted. “Is that a fact?”

  “It’s a fact.”

  He rubbed his jaw thoughtfully, hazel eyes drilling into mine. “I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”

  We started at The Zipper, a personal favorite of mine and made our way through the carnival, laughing until there were tears streaming down our faces and our stomachs ached. My head was rushing and my legs wobbled as we stumbled our way off the roller coaster. Adam caught me when my shoe caught the metal ramp onto the platform.

  “Easy,” he breathed into my upturned face.

  I flushed. “Sorry.”

  His lips curved. “No need. I’m getting used to you throwing yourself at me.”

  Flustered, I swatted at him, making him laugh. He set me back onto my feet, but kept an arm around my waist as we ascended the platform. “Where to next?”

  I checked my watch. “The park will close soon so I say we hit a few games.” I glanced at him. “What do you think?”

  “Games sound great.”

  His arm never slipped from around me. I was painfully aware of it, of being tucked into his side, of his heat and scent. It took a great deal of effort to keep the shivers in check. But one slipped without consent from me.

  “Cold?” His words ruffled the hairs at my temple.

  “No.” But his arm tightened and my heart tripped over itself.

  “Do you see a booth you want to try?”

  I hadn’t even been looking, but I forced myself to start. “How about that one?” I pointed randomly at a water gun booth.

  Adam took us over and set down a folded bill before taking the seat next to mine. “Do you need help or do you think you got this?”

  I kicked him in the leg lightly. “I’m so going to beat you!”

  His eyebrow lifted, his gaze became intense. He leaned in close so every nerve ending in my toes and fingers became numb. The blue in his eyes flashed hot and dangerous. They dropped to my lips, already parted and waiting.

  “How did you know I liked it rough?”

  Shot through by a million daggers of d
esire, I wasn’t quick enough to point my gun when the jets came on. Adam was already ahead of me, snickering as he shot effortlessly into the clown’s mouth.

  “Not fair!” I protested, fighting to align my gun with the clown’s mouth when I had no feeling in my fingers.

  “Should have been paying attention.”

  I gritted my teeth, my face hot. It was no surprise when he beat me.

  “You are such a turd!” I mumbled as I climbed off my stool. “You deliberately …” I broke off, face molten hot.

  “What?” he challenged, getting to his feet.

  I just sulked. No way was I admitting to how hot he’d made me in those few seconds.

  He laughed. “You’re cute when you’re flustered.” Then he was in front of me, trapping me between him and the counter. He braced his hands on either side of my hips, locking me in place. “You look different,” he mused, face inches from mine, his breath smelling of mint.

  “I … I’m not wearing my glasses,” I croaked, barely breathing.

  His eyes narrowed. His hand lifted. His fingers glided through the strands falling over my eyes, sweeping them aside. “Your hair’s different.”

  “Just my hair?”

  His gaze dropped over my face, stopping at my lips. “I don’t know. You’ve always been beaut—”

  “Did you guys want to pick a prize?” The guy at the booth didn’t seem like he cared one way or another, but he blinked at us with sleepy eyes.

  Adam drew away, not far, but not nearly as close as he had been a moment ago, and we turned to the assortment of stuffed bears lining the wall.

  “You pick,” he told me.

  I glanced at him. “Me?”

  He slanted me a grin from the corner of his eye. “You’re the one claiming I cheated. Consider it a peace offering.”

  I snorted, turning back to the stand. “I didn’t say you cheated. I said you were a turd. You manipulated the situation.” I focused on the rainbow of colors, my mind torn between a fluffy pink bear and a yellow one. Then I saw him, tucked behind a purple bear. “That one,” I said, pointing.

  The boy shoved off and shuffled in the direction of my pointing finger. He unhooked the chosen bear and brought him to me.

  I took him, unable to stop the wide grin that stretched my face as I looked into its shiny brown eyes.

  “Why that one?” Adam asked, coming to stand at my side.

  Still grinning, I held him up for Adam to see. “Forest green.” I laughed, not sure why but somehow finding the whole situation hilarious. “He looks like a no drama sort of bear, don’t you think?”

  Shaking my head, I started walking. It took three steps away from Adam to realize he wasn’t following. I turned and my heart all but stopped.

  Draped in shadows with his head bent, it was impossible to judge what he was thinking, but his posture was ramrod straight, tense, like he’d been pumped full of concrete.

  “Adam?”

  His head rose with increasing slowness. Lights from the stand splintered over the surface of his eyes, making them glint. The gravel beneath his feet crunched as he closed the space between us. My heart drummed without rhythm in my chest, picking up tempo with every stride he took closer.

  “If I ask you something, you won’t lie to me, will you, nena?”

  Insides a tangled mess of knots and tremors, I very stiffly shook my head. My hands shook and I tightened my sweaty grip on the bear.

  He stopped inches from me. My neck was forced back, which was an odd angle for me. I very rarely ever looked up to a guy. But that was the least of my concerns at that moment.

  His hand lifted and lightly touched the ends of my hair. He pushed the strands off my cheek, letting the back of his fingers skim skin. I gasped. I shivered. His eyes darkened.

  “It was you—”

  “Adam?” The voice was like a whip, shattering the moment into a million pieces.

  We turned to the small cluster of people headed towards us with a very beautiful and dangerous leader at the helm.

  I automatically cringed at the sight of Claudia and company. I wondered if it was too late to duck behind the booth. The boy operating the station looked bored enough that he probably wouldn’t have cared. But Claudia had seen me. Those sharp, cold eyes sunk into me like fishhooks, anchoring me in place.

  When they were close enough so running was impossible, Claudia finally looked away, focusing on Adam instead.

  She smiled beautifully. “Funny running into you here.”

  Adam nodded. “Small world.”

  “Miniature.” She agreed. Her gaze flittered over to me. “Nice to see you’re making an effort to look presentable, Kyra. Those sweaters were so antique.”

  I said nothing, not giving her the satisfaction of seeing me lose my temper and punch her in the face.

  Claudia turned her attention back to Adam. “And what are you two doing here?”

  Adam answered for both of us. “Just enjoying the carnival’s last night.”

  Claudia nodded like it made perfect sense. “You should have told me. We could have come together.” She closed the distance between them and meshed her perfect body into his. “I would have shown you an amazing time.”

  Adam lightly rested his hands on her arms and nudged her back. The dumbfounded look on Claudia’s face … priceless. “Thank you.”

  Undeterred, Claudia ran the tip of one sharp, pink nail down the center of Adam’s chest. “How about you and I do something tomorrow? My parents are out of town and we could hang out at my place.” The way she was molesting his chest, there was no mistaking the sort of hanging out she wanted to do. “I’ll text you later tonight and we can set up a time.”

  “Thank you for the offer, but I’m already interested in someone else,” Adam said, detaching Claudia from him and taking a step back.

  He could have announced he was part poodle for the way Claudia gawked at him for a full minute. It was as though she couldn’t quite understand what he was telling her and if he was still speaking English.

  Then, those piercing eyes trained on me and narrowed, sparking like livewire. “I would be careful with this one, Adam. She’s never who you think she is.” With a cold smirk for me, Claudia guided her posse away, leaving me alone with Adam.

  “What was that about?”

  I shook my head, starting in the opposite direction of Claudia. “I don’t know,” I lied. “But I need to get home.”

  “Kia.” Adam grabbed my hand. “Talk to me.”

  “There’s nothing to talk about,” I said.

  He dragged me back to him, ignoring my protest. “If you really want to go, then I’ll drive you, but at least tell me what she meant.”

  I twisted my hand free, surprised when he automatically let go. “Claudia and I aren’t exactly friends, okay? Can we leave it at that?”

  He looked like he wanted to press, but he seemed to think better of it and nodded. “Sure. I’ll take you home.”

  And he did. He drove me home and walked me to the door.

  “I’ll see you again,” he murmured.

  I nodded, staring down at the bear in my hands. “I’m sorry about what happened.”

  He shook his head. “Not your fault.”

  I raised my head and met his gaze. “I had an amazing time,” I said honestly. “The best, actually.”

  He smiled slowly. “Me too. Maybe we could do it again.”

  “The carnival is closed,” I reminded him, hating the idea of having to wait an entire year to be with him again.

  “I meant maybe we do something else.”

  Intrigued, I cocked my head to the side. “Like what?”

  He chuckled. “We’ll figure it out.” He nipped on his bottom lip, watching me through his lashes. “Happy Birthday, nena.”

  My heart raged against my chest. “Thank you.”

  His breath washed over my face and I was startled by how close he’d gotten without my knowledge. “Goodnight.”

  I swallowed hard
, the ability to speak deserting me as his lips drew dangerously close to mine. But instead of making contact where I wanted them most, he brushed a kiss to my cheek and stepped back. I was too dumbfounded to process what had happened when he left me standing there with a stomach full of butterflies and a burn mark on my cheek.

  Chapter XXI

  Escape the Girl in the Mirror

  The slash of crimson seemed much brighter against the pallor of my skin. The silk glided through my fingers as I traced the horizontal lines marring the otherwise solid color. Adam’s tie should have been returned to him the day I went to his house. It should have been hanging in his closet, or wherever he kept his ties. Instead, I was in the middle of the cafeteria with it, wishing with all my might that I had, not so much not saved Claudia’s life, but something close. Or better yet, if I hadn’t gone. I should never have gone to her stupid party. Then I would never have had that amazing night with Adam and I wouldn’t be sitting there now, torn between two impossibilities I didn’t even want to consider.

  A small part of me wanted to just march up to him and tell him it was me. What was the worst that could happen? At least I could finally breathe. Then, at the same time, I kept picturing his face getting that weird¸ awkward look boys got when they were secretly grossed out, but were trying not to show it. I couldn’t bear it if Adam gave me that look. I could have sworn I was tougher than that, but clearly I wasn’t. Maybe if Adam hadn’t meant as much as he did to me, I could just toss the tie in his lap and walk away.

  In all this mess, there was another thing I hadn’t thought of before—Nessie. If Adam found out it was me and was repulsed by the idea, where would that leave my relationship with my only friend? How would she feel knowing I was completely gone over her brother? Wasn’t there some kind of girl code that you weren’t supposed to fall for your best friend’s brother? Nessie would be so upset. I just knew it.