She Had No Choice

by Debra Burroughs

  Rather than being defeated by the sheriff and his unwillingness to help, just knowing Nurse Walker was on her side made Eva all the more resolved to find a way out. What she didn’t know was how soon she would need to take Miss Walker up on her offer.

  Late in December, just a few days before Christmas, when she was still seventeen, something happened that Eva would never forget. It was a moment that altered the course of her life.

  Because of the family’s bleak financial situation, none of the children expected anything in the way of gifts. But they did hope they could at least get a Christmas tree they could decorate with some homemade ornaments and strings of popcorn. Last Christmas, Carlos took them up into the hills to chop one down and hauled it home, strapped to the top of his truck. That way they could have a tree for free.

  This December, Carlos had gone with a few other men to do some work in southern California. Since there was no harvesting in the winter, Carlos’s cousin had asked him to come down and help him on a commercial construction site as a laborer for a few weeks. There was plenty of work, he said, and told him to bring some of the other farm workers if they wanted work, too. This would bring in a little more money to help them make it through the winter. He told Sofía he would be back by Christmas.

  By December 24th, Carlos had not come home. It was Christmas Eve, and they had not gotten a tree yet. Eva didn’t want to disappoint her brothers and sister, so she decided she would get the family a tree. She found Carlos’s axe and took a few of the older brothers with her. She drove Carlos’s truck into the hills where they had gone the year before to get a Christmas tree.

  They hiked in the woods and looked at quite a few trees until they finally decided on the best one. She and the boys took turns hacking at the tree until it eventually fell. They loaded it in the truck and drove back home.

  Carlos and the other men returned while Eva and the boys were out getting the tree. Carlos was waiting for them. They excitedly came into the house, the boys dragging the tree in behind them, Eva carrying the axe, all wanting Mama to see the beautiful tree they brought. They froze in their tracks when they saw Carlos standing there next to Mama, a gnarled scowl on his face.

  How could they know Carlos would be furious that they took his axe and his truck without his permission? His breath and slurred speech told them he had been drinking with the other workers before coming home, as usual. This always made him angry and irrational.

  “Who told you it was okay to take my axe and my truck? Huh? Who told you?!”

  “Carlos, it’s Christmas Eve…” Sofía started to say. Her words were cut short by the back of his hand hard across her mouth.

  “Shut up, woman!” Carlos screamed.

  The children’s eyes darted over to Mama. Her lip was bleeding and a few tears started to fall. She mustered what courage she could and tried once again to stand up to Carlos.

  “No, Carlos. It’s Christmas Eve and the children deserve a tree,” Sofía said in a quiet, even tone.

  “I told you to shut up!” Carlos balled up his fist and struck Sofía in the face, knocking her to the floor.

  The boys were shocked by what their father was doing, but Eva was filled with raged. She had had enough. The next few moments seemed like she was moving in slow motion in her mind. She still held the sharp axe in her hands. Driven by the instinct to protect her mother, she swung the axe over her head and started to lunge at Carlos. She was going to kill that devil once and for all.

  But the oldest son, Eduardo, saw Eva out of the corner of his eye and quickly grabbed her arms to stop her. If it hadn’t been for Eduardo’s quick action, Eva surely would have killed Carlos that day.

  Carlos never saw the axe coming and did not realize Eduardo had just saved his life. The other boys ran to Mama’s aid as Carlos went in the bedroom to sleep off his drunkenness.

  That was a defining moment. Eva knew in that instant that she had to leave home or the next time she certainly would kill him.

  She waited until after Christmas to tell her mother that she needed to move out soon, and that she would start looking for another place to live. Sofía was sad to think of her daughter leaving, her first child, her oldest daughter. She hugged Eva for a long time, remembering the first day she was placed in her arms as a tiny baby.

  “I remember, mi’ja, when you were just a baby. You were so little, so sweet.” Sofía’s eyes were tearing up.

  “Mama, don’t cry.”

  “I would hold you and rock you. I had such great hopes and dreams for you, Eva. I’m sorry things turned out the way they did. I’m sorry I ever met your father, Enrique.”

  “Mama, don’t say that.”

  “I’m even more sorry I ever met Carlos.” Sofía’s tears were streaming down her face. “You should have a better life than this, mi’ja.”

  “I love you, Mama.” Eva put her arms around her mother and let her cry.

  Sofía hated the idea of Eva’s leaving, but she knew it was probably for the best. She could go out on her own and find her own way in the world.

  She began pondering how she would be able to make it on her own. Where would she go? How would she support herself? Where could she find a part-time job? Who could help her? She had to finish high school. Then she thought of Nurse Walker and her offer to help.

  The first day of school after Christmas vacation, Eva went to see Miss Walker at the county social services office as soon as school was out for the day. Eva told her what had happened on Christmas Eve and that she really needed to move out of there. Miss Walker had been thinking about Eva since she ran into her at the Sheriff’s office and had already decided she would be willing to take her in if it came to that.

  So when Eva came to her that day, she quickly agreed that Eva she could come to live with her, if it was okay with her mother. Eva went home and talked it over with Mama. Because they had already talked earlier about Eva moving out, she easily got her mother’s permission. Eva could see that it hurt her mother deeply, but Mama gathered the courage to accept her leaving, agreeing it was likely the best thing for her. It came as no surprise that Carlos was happy to see her go.

  Eva moved her things to Miss Walker’s home and quickly settled in. She felt as free as a bird. This was a new feeling for her and she relished it.

  What she didn’t know at the time was that Sofía was pregnant again. Eva felt terrible when she found out, as if she was abandoning her mother when she really needed her. If she had known Mama was expecting another baby, she probably wouldn’t have left home until after she graduated from high school, as difficult as that would have been.

  But she didn’t know until the baby was about to be born. Eva had been gone for several months and Carlos forbade Sofía to have contact with her. As her due date approached, Sofía convinced Carlos that she needed Eva’s help at the house with the other children while she was gone to the hospital for the birth.

  Sofía asked her daughter if she would come and stay with the younger children while she was in the hospital having the baby. With some trepidation, Eva agreed to go back to her old home. She knew she would have to keep her distance from Carlos, but Mama needed her help. So, she went back home to care for the kids for almost a week, cooking, changing diapers and doing laundry. During the entire time she was at the house, Carlos never looked at her or spoke to her once.

  Eva lived with Nurse Walker until after she graduated from high school. She was a good friend to her, almost like a second mother. Naomi Walker had never married and never had any children, so she treated Eva like the daughter she always wanted. This hard-working teenager talked about becoming a nurse, too, and she knew Eva was bright enough to accomplish that, if she set her mind to it.

  Having lived alone for many years, Naomi was happy for the company and for someone to help her fill the emptiness in her house and in her life. She hoped that rescuing Eva from her abusive home life would help to give her a better future. Only time would tell.

  Chapter 15: A New Life for
Eva

  It was 1950. Eva began her senior year at Hollister High School and worked hard on her studies. Living with Miss Walker was such a dramatic improvement over her old life. She had her own bedroom for the first time in her life and considerably more freedom. She became more outgoing and began making more friends. Naomi taught her to appreciate music and art and encouraged her to do her best in school. She also helped Eva find part-time jobs babysitting and cleaning her friends’ houses. School was challenging and work was hard, but she was determined to do well at both.

  Eva blossomed into a pretty, petite young lady, barely five feet tall. She had matured early and had the curvy figure of a woman. She was often taunted by the teenage boys at school because she was a full-figured Latina with ample breasts. Walking home from school one day, she was accosted by a couple of white boys teasing her about her bosom.

  “Nice bag of groceries you have there,” said a tall, gangly boy with dirty blond hair, referring to her holding her books across her full chest as she walked.

  “Mind if I squeeze your melons?” His scruffy brown-haired friend hollered, grabbing at her.

  Eva was mortified. The two boys were talking loud enough that other students leaving school could hear them. All she wanted to do was get away from them, but they wouldn’t get out of her way. She would step one way, they would be there. She would step another, they would be there, their barbs and insults becoming increasingly explicit. They had her cornered.

  The last thing she wanted was for them to witness her embarrassment, her weakness. She could feel tears bubbling to the surface, but she would not give them the satisfaction. Eva was strong that way. She stood still for a few seconds as they circled her with insults and tried grabbing at her.

  Reaching her boiling point, she planted her feet, slammed her books to the ground and the next one that stepped in front of her felt the full fury of her small but strong fist in their face. Standing only five feet tall did not stop her from what she had to do. She had years of contending with her brothers, years of wringing out laundry and years of doing field work that brought strength to her when she needed it.

  The nasty blond bully was the unlucky hooligan to step in front of her first. She punched him so hard in the face that she broke his nose and bright red blood began gushing out.

  “My nose! My nose! You broke my nose!” He cried like a little girl, holding his hand up to his nose, trying to stop the flow.

  By that time, other students had gathered around and saw what had happened. They burst out laughing and cheering at what this diminutive girl had done to defend herself from these bullies.

  “You’re in big trouble, girl! I’m gonna tell the principal,” he warned. “Oh, man, you broke my nose!”

  “Go ahead,” Eva shot back, “I want you to go get him and bring him out here. I have something to tell him myself. I’ll wait right here for you.” Eva had found her courage and wasn’t going to let them bully her again.

  “He won’t believe you. You’re just a ‘spic’!” the boy yelled.

  “I’ve been called worse,” she replied, as if it meant nothing to her, but still those words stung.

  A parent had seen the crowd gathering, and he rushed over and stepped in.

  “Anyone see what happened?” he asked, looking from face to face in the crowd.

  Five or six students called out that they saw what happened and would be happy to tell the principal. These two boys were known bullies, often picking on other students and getting away with it. Eva’s courage inspired them to speak up for her. The two troublemakers knew they were beaten and turned and slinked away.

  Eva picked her books up off the ground and started to walk away. One of the girls in the crowd, a pretty redhead with sparkling blue eyes, walked up alongside of her. This girl was also a senior and had seen Eva in one of her classes.

  “Hi. My name’s Margaret. You were really brave today,” she said. “I don’t think I could’ve done what you did.”

  Eva stopped and turned toward her, a little surprised. She had seen this girl around school, but Margaret had never spoken to her.

  “Thanks. I don’t know where that came from,” Eva responded. “They just wouldn’t let me leave, and I couldn’t take it anymore. Something just came over me. I guess fighting with my brothers all these years really came in handy.”

  “How many brothers do you have?”

  “Seven.”

  “Wow, what a big family! I only have one brother,” Margaret told her.

  Not knowing what else to talk about, they stood there for a second or two in awkward silence,

  both trying to think of something else to say.

  “Hey, my friend, Donna, and I are going to a USO dance this Saturday night. It’s at Fort Ord, by Monterey. Would you like to come with us?” Margaret asked.

  “I don’t know,” Eva hesitated. “I’ve never been to a USO dance.” The truth was that she had never been to a dance of any kind before.

  “Oh, it’s lots of fun. All those army guys, so cute in their uniforms. Really dreamy, you know. Tell me you’ll go with us. It’ll be a kick.”

  “Okay,” Eva agreed. It sounded like fun, but what would she wear? She didn’t exactly own any party dresses.

  She hoped she hadn’t made a mistake agreeing to go with these girls, but maybe it would be good to try something new. And it might be nice to meet some nice young men. She hadn’t dated at all. She was trying to concentrate on her studies and save whatever money she made at the various jobs she worked in her spare time.

  That evening she told Miss Walker about what happened at school with the two teenage boys. Naomi was furious at the boys, but she was very proud of how Eva had stood up for herself. She was also pleased that some of the other students were willing to stand up and support her. Naomi could see Eva was becoming a strong and confident young woman and was glad she was able to help her escape the life she had left behind in Tres Pinos. She wished Eva’s mother could see how much her daughter was blossoming. Hopefully, someday she would.

  Then, Eva told Miss Walker about her new friend, Margaret, and how she had invited her to go to a USO dance with her and her friend, Donna, whom Eva had not met yet. She was glad to see Eva was starting to make more friends. It wasn’t very common in their town for the white kids to socialize with the Mexican kids. This was a good sign, she thought.

  Eva looked troubled. “What’s wrong?” Naomi asked.

  “I don’t know how to dance.”

  “Oh, don’t you worry. I can teach you. We have a few days. We can start this evening,” Naomi offered.

  “That would be great, but even if I learn how to dance, I don’t have anything to wear to it. There’s nothing in my closet that says ‘party dress’.” She had a little money saved from her babysitting and house cleaning jobs, but didn’t really want to spend any of it. She liked knowing she had that money in her savings account in case of an emergency.

  “Well,” Naomi said excitedly, “why don’t we see if I have anything in my closet that you could wear. I have a few dresses I can’t seem to squeeze into anymore, but I keep them around because I keep hoping someday I will. Come on, let’s go see.”

  Eva’s countenance lit up and a big smile spread across her face. Naomi put an arm around Eva’s shoulder and off they went to her bedroom to see what they could find.

  Naomi had been a single woman for many years, a spinster some would say, because she never married. During World War II, she had been an army nurse. She’d fallen in love with an army officer named James, and he asked her to marry him. He had taken her out to dinner and dancing at a popular night club and proposed to her over glasses of sparkling champagne. That evening, she had worn a beautiful sapphire blue dress with rhinestone buttons, and James had told her she was the most beautiful woman in the world. He popped the question and she gladly said yes.

  That was the last time they went dancing. A couple of months later, James was killed in the war. That beautiful dress was n
ever worn again.

  Naomi pulled the stunning blue dress out of her closet and lovingly looked it over. She gently ran her hand over the glittering buttons, remembering how in love she had been and how beautiful she felt the last time she had worn it. Naomi unzipped it and handed it to her.

  “Try this dress on. Let’s see how it looks.”

  Eva carefully tried it on. She didn’t know the story behind the amazing blue dress, but she could imagine it held sentimental value to Miss Walker by the way she looked at it and tenderly caressed it.

  For a moment, Eva was speechless as she caught the first glimpse of herself in the full-length mirror. She never thought she could look so attractive, but the dress was stunning on her and accentuated her curves. She twirled around like a model on a runway, keeping one eye on her image in the mirror.

  “What do you think?” Eva asked. “Isn’t it perfect?”

  “Gorgeous! Absolutely gorgeous! It’s a little long, but other than that, it looks gorgeous on you, dear. Take it off and let me hem it for you,” Miss Walker offered. “It won’t take long.”

  Eva didn’t really want to take it off. She loved the feeling it gave her. She thought she looked sophisticated and grown up. She thought she looked like someone with a bright future.

  Chapter 16: First Love

  Saturday evening came, and Eva looked stunning in the beautiful blue dress. Margaret and Donna picked her up at Miss Walker’s house in Margaret’s father’s nearly-new Chevrolet sedan. All gussied up for a night out, the girls chatted and giggled the hour-or-so drive to the USO in Monterey. The main topic of conversation: men.

  They pulled the car into the USO parking lot and quickly made their way inside. Standing in the doorway, they looked like something straight out of a Hollywood movie. Three beautiful young women in eye-catching dresses – one hot redhead, one sexy blonde and one exotic brunette. Heads turned all over the room and all eyes were focused on the three of them.

  “That’s one great entrance, girls,” Donna said, full of confidence and allure.