The Girl Worth Fighting for (The Girl #2)

by Julia Goda

  “It’s back. My mom’s cancer is back.”

  Lizzy gasped and her eyes grew sad and understanding instantly.

  Since Lizzy knew my story, she also knew my mom was the only family I had. And Ben of course. But my mom and I had a special bond that I didn’t think I could live without. She was the only parent I had, the only person who I knew would always love me no matter what, would always support me in whatever I wanted to do in my life, would never get sick of me and leave me.

  Lizzy didn’t have a good relationship with her mother. Well, that was probably the understatement of the century. They didn’t have a relationship, period. Lizzy didn’t even know where her mother was, hadn’t seen her since she left right after high school years ago. Which was a good thing, since her mother had been nothing but poison her whole life, making Lizzy feel responsible for things she had no control over, even when she was a little girl. Her father had been AWOL all her life, or so she had thought. It wasn’t until recently that she found out her father had died before Lizzy was even born. But still, I knew she would be able to relate. For most of her life she’d only had one person she could rely on, one person she knew would always be there for her and support her.

  Just like me.

  “Shit, Rainey.” I could see Lizzy’s eyes fill with her own tears.

  “Yeah. Shit is exactly the right word to describe this.” I reached for a tissue and handed her one as well before I dried my tears and blew my nose. Then I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, composing myself.

  “How bad is it?” Lizzy asked after she wiped under her own eyes.

  I opened my eyes and leaned back in my chair, needing the support. “We don’t know yet. She’s going in for tests today.” I checked the clock that was hanging above my office door. “Her appointment is in half an hour, actually.”

  “And you’re here? Why aren’t you with her?”

  “She doesn’t want me there. She said I’d been through all of that with her last time and she didn’t want to put that on me again. It’s what she needs to be strong. I think she worries I won’t be able to take it. Ben is with her.”

  “Well, that’s good that she’s not alone.”

  I shook my head. “No way would I let her go alone. I only relented because I know Ben will call me the second they know what’s going on. He knows I’ll be on tenterhooks until then.

  Lizzy nodded, understanding. We looked at each other for a few moments, not saying anything. There was nothing to say, nothing to organize, no strategy to plan. Not yet. Then her eyes narrowed on me and I braced for what was about to come. Lizzy was one of the sweetest people I had ever met, but she was also somewhat of a hardass. Especially when she worried about people she cared about. Or the kids she worked with.

  “Promise me you’ll tell me what’s going on. And promise me you’ll let me help.”

  I gave her a small smile.

  “I promise.” I knew it was no use arguing with her over this. I would keep her in the loop, at least somewhat. But she had enough going on right now with being a newlywed and having a baby on the way. I wouldn’t add to that if I could help it.

  Her eyes narrowed on me further. “I mean it, Rainey. You’re not alone.”

  I was grateful, I really was. Grateful for her understanding and her friendship, but I had never been great at asking for help. Not in ten years. I wouldn’t start now. Mom, Ben, and I would get through this. Just like we did last time. At least this time around we knew what to expect.

  “You sure you wanna be here right now?” Her eyes were still concerned and on me. I was fooling myself if I thought Lizzy wouldn’t see straight through me, but I didn’t have the headspace right now to be concerned about it.

  I sighed and nodded. “Yeah. It keeps my mind off of things. Those tests usually take hours. I’d go crazy sitting at home, waiting.”

  “I understand.” She nodded. Then she reached across the desk and squeezed my hand in sisterly reassurance. Lizzy really was a great gal. “All right. I’ve got the right distraction for you. Taryn wants to see us in the meeting room. Apparently, she has something to discuss with us.”

  I got up slowly, thankful to have a purpose other than dealing with paperwork for the next few hours. Until Lizzy kept talking. “I have to warn you though, I saw Logan head for the meeting room as well. With Jesse.”

  “Jesse?” I wondered, momentarily forgetting about Logan being present during one of our meetings. “Shouldn’t he be in school?”

  Lizzy opened her door and gave me a look. “He should be.” Oh dear, Jesse was in for a lecture, I was sure. I smiled inwardly as we walked to the meeting room that was just around the corner from my office. But my reprieve was short-lived when I followed Lizzy to the big table in the middle of the room and made eye contact with Logan. I frowned when I saw him smile smugly at me, but not for the reason he was probably thinking. I frowned because I didn’t like him being here, at an official meeting. It wasn’t necessarily uncommon for volunteers to attend, but Logan never had, and I had a feeling I wouldn’t like what this was about.

  I felt his eyes on me as I went to the other end of the table from where he was standing and sat down next to Jesse on one side and Jimmy on the other. I felt his stare, but I didn’t acknowledge it, nor did I look back at him. Instead, I nudged Jesse’s arm with my elbow and whispered, “You better brace,” under my breath. Every time I saw Jesse, he turned more into the man we all knew he would become. Even when he first showed up at the shelter late last year, he’d already had that manly quality about him, even though he’d only been sixteen at that point. He’d had that hard edge that nobody dared mess with, not even our toughest kids, while at the same time had a gentle and protective side when it came to who we had thought back then was his girlfriend, but who had turned out to be his younger sister. He was the same way now: you could feel the do-not-mess-with-me attitude he constantly exuded, but you could also tell he was a good guy who had his priorities straight, which was astonishing for a boy his age. But then again it wasn’t really, considering what he and his sister had gone through. He’d had no choice but to grow up quickly and take on the role of his sister’s protector. Now, less than a year later, he had matured. If it weren’t for his still somewhat boyish features on his face, I would think he was in his very early twenties, instead of being just seventeen years old. I took a closer look at him and realized he had filled out. His shoulders were wider and his t-shirt sat snug over his chest and biceps.

  He raised his eyebrows and gave me a half-smirk. Jeez, I’m sure he already had his pick of girlfriends. He was about to reply, but was interrupted by Lizzy, which turned his half-smirk into a full smirk.

  Again. Jeez.

  “As much as I love seeing you, Jesse, you better have a good explanation as to why you are not in school.” Lizzy was sitting across from us, between Logan and Taryn, her eyes on Jesse, who was still smirking, but now at her.

  “Free period.” His voice was low but teasing. He loved Lizzy and loved teasing her, almost like he would a big sister. Her eyes narrowed on him.

  “Free period, my ass. You wouldn’t even make it here and back again before your next class starts.”

  Jesse shrugged. “You forget I have a car now.”

  I had to keep myself from bursting out laughing when her eyes narrowed on him even further. She was still pissed at Cole for buying Jesse a car. She said it was unnecessary and that kids should work for stuff like cars and cell phones. It would teach them a strong work ethic and make them appreciate things more. Cole argued that Jesse was part of the family and he didn’t like him and Chloe taking the bus all the time, especially if they went to the shelter on a regular basis. The shelter wasn’t in the best part of town. Lizzy couldn’t argue with that, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t still upset about it. Well, maybe I should clarify. It wasn’t necessarily the reason why Cole bought him a car. It was more the type of car he got him that made Lizzy throw a fit: a brand new Dodge Charger. Lizzy h
ad almost blown her top when she saw it. Jesse had been speechless. He wasn’t the type of guy who took things for granted; the opposite was true. Cole and Jesse had formed a bond after their initial altercation when Jesse thought Cole had hurt Lizzy. They really were like brothers, and Jesse would never become a snotty teenager who expected things to be handed to him. He always worked hard. From what I knew, his grades in school were great and he never got in trouble. He helped out at the shelter whenever he had time. He was an all around good guy. Lizzy didn’t have to worry about him.

  “Even with the car you wouldn’t make it on time. Cut the crap, Jesse. What’s going on?” Her voice turned more worried than upset. “Is everything okay? Are you in trouble?”

  “No, Liz.” Jesse’s voice turned softer as well, lost its teasing. “I’m not in trouble.” He knew Lizzy worried about him and loved her for it. “Logan asked me to come.”

  Both Lizzy and my eyes turned to the man in question. My eyebrows went up in challenge when I saw his eyes were focused on me with a glint in them. Arrogant jerk.

  “You asked him to skip school to come to a meeting?”

  Jesse interrupted before Logan could answer. “I didn’t skip school, Liz. Come on, you know me better than that.” Lizzy threw him an apologetic smile. “I really do have a free period right now. I talked to my teacher and he excused me for the next period. I have to be back after lunch. Happy now?”

  Lizzy nodded. “As soon as I know what’s going on.”

  This was hilarious. I wasn’t the only one who was amused. I looked around the table and saw smiles or smirks on everyone’s face as they followed the show.

  Jesse rolled his eyes. Then he bent to get something out of his bag and slid it across the table toward Lizzy. Her eyes went wide when she realized what it was.

  “Cole wants you to eat all of it.”

  This time, I did burst out laughing. Lizzy’s face was just priceless. I wouldn’t have been surprised to see smoke coming out of her ears. When she saw me laugh, her face softened and she gave me a grin and a wink. She had wanted to distract me. Mission accomplished. I grinned back at her, grateful for having her as my friend. Then my grin died when Logan’s eyes again caught mine. They were curious and observing, as if he tried to read my every thought. It freaked me out.

  Thankfully, Taryn took that moment to start speaking. I focused my attention on her.

  “All right, people, if we’re done bickering, let’s start this meeting. Logan approached me with an idea he and Jesse had. I wanted to bring it to you, so we can make a decision on if we think it’s a good idea to proceed. Gentlemen, the floor is yours.” She waved to Logan and Jesse to start speaking.

  “Right,” Logan started. “As you all know, some of the kids have already joined me at the gym and are focusing their energy into working out and boxing instead of causing trouble on the streets. They are taught discipline and devotion at the gym. I am very proud to say that every single trainer has committed themselves to give these kids a chance and work with them. The response has been great. And I think all of you can confirm there have been less issues with aggression amongst the kids.”

  He was right. There has been less aggression and hostility among the kids. As much as I didn’t want to hear anything to do with boxing, I hadn’t been thrilled when I found out that part of his volunteering would be done at the gym he trained at, but I had to give it to Logan. He was doing an amazing job and it was showing.

  “There is only one problem. The kids coming to the gym are exclusively boys. We’re having trouble getting any of the girls to come down. Jesse here came up with a great idea that I think will be just what we need to get the girls involved. Not only will it get them down to the gym, it will teach them something that will give them more self-esteem and will make them feel safe out there. Jesse?”

  Logan swung his gaze to Jesse before it settled back on me. Throughout his speech he had looked at everyone at the table in turn, but his eyes had always come back to me, as if he was trying to tell me something. Knowing what he knew now about my rule and what he assumed about my past, he was probably trying to gauge my reaction. He knew I wouldn’t be happy and supportive of anything to do with boxing or fighting. That’s where he was wrong though. Yeah, I might not do cartwheels about the fact that half of our boys were now aspiring boxers, but it wasn’t about me. It was about what helped them. And if boxing gave them something to believe in, something that made them feel good and taught them discipline and devotion like he said it did, then I would support the idea. I held his stare for a few moments before I turned my attention to Jesse when he started speaking.

  “You all know what Chloe and I have been through. Living on the streets is not easy. It’s scary as hell. You will never know how grateful I will always be for finding this shelter. You gave us hope and saved us.” There it was. Jesse was a good guy. The greatest. I glanced at Lizzy and saw her wipe a finger under her eyes and gave her a soft smile.

  “Living on the streets is even harder for girls. I know the dangers out there, the dangers I had to protect my little sister from day in and day out. She was terrified every single day. And the nights were worse. I was terrified for her. I talked to Logan about the idea of asking one of the trainers at the gym to teach Chloe self-defense. I never want her to be scared again. Even though we don’t have to live on the streets anymore, I thought it would be a good idea for her to be able to defend herself if necessary. Logan expanded that idea and wants to organize classes for girls and women only. I think it would help.”

  I looked around the table and saw nods and approving and proud smiles all around. And I had to agree. Offering self-defense classes to our girls was a fantastic idea.

  “I already talked to some of the trainers and they’re taken with the idea,” Logan continued. “We’re as far as setting up a room and working on a schedule. It’s looking like we can offer one class for ten people at a time, running two nights a week to begin with, and then we’ll expand from there.”

  Wow. I was honestly impressed. Not only had he come up with a great idea to help our girls, he had also gone ahead and done something about it. That was something I could appreciate in a person. It didn’t change my general opinion of him when it came to his pursuit of me, but it made me respect him more and take him more seriously.

  “I agree with both Logan and Jesse. I think it’s a great idea and agree we should move forward with it. What do you think,” Taryn asked the room.

  “I’m all for it. I think it’s a great idea,” I chimed in, making Logan’s eyebrows shoot up with surprise. What, did he think I wouldn’t want my girls to feel safer? Again. Jerk.

  I looked away from him, dismissing him, while I heard every single team member agree.

  “Great. That’s settled then. Now, Logan also mentioned it would probably be a good idea to have one of us there for the first course so we know what we’re talking about, and I agree with him. Since it’s gonna be a girls only class, everyone but Lizzy, Rainey, Maria, and myself is out. Lizzy can’t do it, for obvious reasons, at least not this time around. Maria has finals to study for, and I’m swamped. Which leaves you, Rainey. I want you to work with Logan on this. Help him set up a schedule that works best for everyone and let him explain to you what exactly will be taught in the class. Then you both need to explain it to the girls.”

  My eyes had gone wide as the realization of what Taryn was asking me to do began to sink in. I swallowed hard and looked at Lizzy as I tried to control the panic that was clawing up my throat.

  “There is nobody else who can do it?” I asked in a small voice. The idea of having to go to a boxing gym two nights a week was turning my stomach. I didn’t want to know what memories would be unearthed. No way. I couldn’t do it.

  “You don’t want to do it?” Taryn sounded surprised. I always volunteered for extra work, was passionate about everything to do with my job and helping the kids in any way I could. Of course she would be surprised if I didn’t want to ta
ke on this new project.

  “I…I don’t…I mean…” Lizzy was trying to calm me down with her soft eyes as she held mine.

  “Rainey? You okay?” Taryn sounded a little concerned now. I didn’t want her asking any questions. Especially not here and now. So I took a deep breath and pulled myself together, while Lizzy gave me a small nod and an encouraging smile.

  “Sorry, Taryn. Yes, I’m okay. Of course I’ll do it.” Taryn eyed me for a few more moments, but to my relief let it go and nodded at me.

  “All right. You and Logan can discuss after this meeting how you want to proceed. If you don’t mind sticking around for a bit, Logan.”

  “Not at all.” His voice was easy-going, but I could hear the underlying curiosity and worry in it. I could also feel his eyes on me again, but I chose to ignore them. There were bigger things to deal with at the moment. I had to steel myself against the emotions I knew would overwhelm me once I set foot into a boxing gym for the first time in ten years.

  I didn’t hear another word that was spoken during the rest of the meeting. Granted, it was over only ten minutes later, but I had completely zoned out. I fixed my eyes to a spot on the table in front of me and kept staring, just like I had last night, but this time it wasn’t worry and fear that pulled me down. It was sheer panic. I focused on my breathing and took slow breaths in through my nose, then exhaled slowly and quietly through my mouth. My hands were clenched into fists in my lap as I sat there motionless, trying to fight off the memories; the visions of my father training while I watched and observed; the smell of leather and rubber and sweat that permeated the gym; the euphoria I had felt every time I saw my father best another sparring partner; the happiness I had felt every time he winked at me through the ropes; the look of love and pride he had directed at me when he waved me into the ring after his session to show me some of his moves and I executed them with precision, then the joy when I loved it just as much as he did and started training more seriously at the young age of seven. “One day you’ll kick my ass, Princess.” The words caused me to flinch inwardly as the pain of betrayal sliced through me, and I gasped. Shit.