Under Texas Blue Skies

by Debra Holt

  A small building was attached to the inside of the gate, probably the new security Alex had told her about. Morris gave them his name and hers. They were motioned through the entrance. The security man raised a radio and spoke into it after they moved off.

  Amanda was too nervous to notice much of anything. She had tried to prepare herself over the last twenty-four hours. In her mind, she'd seen herself breezing into the house, smiling and laughing and without a care in the world. Their host would be blown away by her appearance and fall at her feet. Okay. Maybe that had been taking the scenario a bit too far, she admitted to herself. But it had been a nice thought. Perhaps a better one would be that she could manage to stay out of his sight for the time she had to be there.

  A uniformed valet opened her door, and soon she and Morris walked toward the porch. In a flash, she returned to the first day she had come to the ranch… to meet Morris and the mysterious client. She had fainted on the very porch she stepped upon now. A lot had happened in between. Morris stopped for a moment, and she turned toward him.

  “Hello, Amanda. I’m glad you could come tonight.”

  The voice came from behind her, just as it had on that first day they'd met on that very spot. The only difference would be that she was determined to not faint at his feet again. That was easier said than done after she slowly turned and saw him move from the shadows into the light.

  Dressed in the black western-cut suit and white shirt with the black tie, he was much too lethal for her heart. Her grip must have turned into a vice around Morris’s arm, as she felt him wince. She kept her hold, though.

  “Hello, J.D. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” Did she sound normal? She couldn’t tell for the loud thudding of her heart in her ears.

  He took two more steps and stood within touching distance. If she backed up, she would fall down the steps. She had to remain still.

  “Really? Someone told me you were leaving town today. I’m glad you could change your plans and be here.” His eyes removed their lock on hers and slid to her companion. He reached out a hand and welcomed Morris.

  “Good to see you tonight also, Morris. Please make yourselves at home. I’m sure we’ll talk later.” He moved down the steps and greeted the other guests behind them.

  Amanda finally took a breath after Morris led them into the foyer, and then into the living room. So far, so good. She hadn’t made a fool of herself, and she'd acted normally. Although Morris had gotten his arm away from her and stood rubbing it at the moment.

  “Sorry about that. Guess I wanted to make sure I didn’t trip or anything in these heels.”

  “Right. I’m sure that was the reason.”

  “Amanda! I thought you couldn’t come. I’m so glad you’re here!” Tracy, with Tyler in tow, crossed the room to greet them. It wasn’t long before Darcy joined them, and, for the next hour, Amanda was kept occupied visiting with old friends and meeting new ones. She had to admit that the guests who had flown in from Nashville and elsewhere and were associated in some form or fashion to J.D.’s world had all been very welcoming of her and had appeared quite eager to meet her for some reason. She was particularly pleased to see Alex enter with Chloe on his arm. The pair made their way over to join her group as they stood just inside the dining room.

  “It’s so nice to see you again, Amanda,” Chloe said with a genuine smile. Amanda accepted the hug and another one from Alex. She introduced the pair to everyone, and it wasn’t long before the group seemed like old friends.

  There was a hush settling over the room behind her, and Amanda looked toward the living room. J.D. had entered the room and moved to stand next to the fireplace. There was a young man beside him, and Amanda recognized Arturo Galvan, the young artist whose family they had visited on their trip to San Antonio. She almost didn’t recognize him, dressed in a dark suit and hair neatly trimmed. He was obviously nervous as he stood next to J.D. A waiter approached her side, and she took the glass of champagne from his tray. Others in the room were being passed the bubbly at the same time.

  “Good evening, everyone. I want to thank each of you for taking time from your holiday plans to join me in this open house. You have welcomed me back amongst you and made me feel at home once again. For that, I am immensely grateful. I look forward to making this ranch my permanent home. As you know, I’ve been busy the last few weeks on making some improvements on the ranch. However, the heart of this land is in this house. As you look around you, it is easy to see the work that went into making this into a beautiful home, not just a house. That has been the work of one incredible lady... Amanda Lawson. Thank you, Amanda, for bringing the heart to this ranch once again.”

  His eyes met hers across the room.

  Loud clapping filled the room, but she really wasn’t aware of anything but J.D. A light nudge at her elbow from Darcy brought her back to earth and the fact that everyone else’s eyes were upon her. She smiled and briefly inclined her head as she tried to graciously escape the unwanted spotlight… or rather the speculative lights in the eyes turned upon her at J.D.’s words.

  J.D. continued. “And I would like to introduce to you all a very talented young man, Arturo Galvan. I believe you’ll be seeing a lot of his work in the years to come. Some of his work is already displayed on the walls of this house. In addition, I recently asked him to produce a painting to hang over the fireplace in this room. I had him come out to the ranch and visit a special spot, which holds a great deal of meaning for me personally. He then transformed it to his canvas.” J.D. nodded his head and two men came into the room carrying a large canvas. They lifted it to the mantle. Murmurs went through the room as the landscape was unveiled. More clapping erupted, and Arturo stood proudly beaming next to the fireplace.

  While, to most people in the room, the painting was of a beautiful hilltop and a large oak tree with its limbs spreading wide over a field of Texas wildflowers just before sunset, it was much more to Amanda. The tree stood on the hill overlooking the ranch house and the valley beyond. When she and J.D. had first met, he had snuck them both up to that spot. It was there they would lie in the grass, and he would tell her about his plans. It was also there that he had kissed her for the first time… and it was under those spreading branches one moonlit night that he had made love to her. He had also said goodbye to her in that same spot the night before he'd left to follow his dream. Every momentous event in their lives together had taken place in that exact spot. Tears began to form in her eyes, and she had to blink to keep it from spilling over.

  “There’s also another announcement I would like to make. I’ve placed my house in Nashville on the market. I intend to make this ranch my permanent home. That being said, I want to squash any rumors that I plan to give up music. That isn’t the case. And to make that easier, I have renovated one of the show barns on this ranch into a state-of-the-art recording studio. Not only will I continue to make records, but many of my fellow singers and musicians will be stopping by to use the facilities also. That means more dollars for the other businesses in our town too. I am home for good.”

  He lifted his glass of champagne to the room, but his eyes were on Amanda. His guests joined him in the toasting, and loud applause broke out.

  Amanda watched him begin to make his way toward her. Luckily for her, his progress was impeded by various townspeople who'd stepped forward and captured his hand in one handshake after another. When the mayor claimed his attention, Amanda slipped through the door into the kitchen.

  Her insides were tied in knots. She didn’t know what to think. That explained his absences so often when she'd thought he'd been working with some new horse. He had been designing a studio, and the fact he'd placed his Nashville house on the market was a shock too. J.D. had definitely meant it when he'd said he planned to permanently live on his ranch. That meant she wouldn’t be able to forget him so easily. McKenna Springs wasn’t that big. They would invariably run into each other.

  She would have to watch him build h
is life with a wife and children. The pain was sharp as a knife, and she felt the air leave her lungs. She had to get out of the house, but she had come with Morris. She needed to get his attention and leave without having to speak to J.D.

  Tyler came through the kitchen door at that moment. “Thank heavens, you’re in here,” he said with relief as his gaze fell on Amanda. “I can’t let Tracy see the mess I made on this jacket. She’ll have my head for sure.”

  That’s when Amanda saw the guacamole dip, or what was left of it, down the front of his jacket. He'd swiped at it with the cocktail napkin in his hand but had only made matters worse. Amanda sat her own glass on the cabinet and went to one of the drawers in the kitchen. She found a clean dishtowel and ran an end of it under the faucet. She motioned for him to stand beside the sink.

  “Amanda, you’re an answer to a prayer. This is a new suit, and Tracy warned me to be careful, but someone hit my elbow, and this is what happened.”

  She was able to get the dip off, but the material was darkened by the dampness. “Well the good news is that the dip is gone, but I have no way to quickly dry your suit front.”

  Just at that moment, Tracy came through the door. “There you are! Why are you… oh no!” She saw what Amanda was doing. “Tyler Anthony Maxwell, what happened?”

  He did his best to explain again.

  Tracy stood, shaking her head. “Well, we need to get home anyway. Rosa needs to join her family for Christmas Eve mass. You are lucky this happened now and not at the start of the party. Thanks for helping my klutz of a husband, Amanda.”

  “You two are leaving right now?”

  “Yes, we are.”

  “That works out great. Would you mind dropping me at my house on your way through town? I wouldn’t want to tear Morris away from his business hobnobbing, but I think I’m getting a migraine.” A little white lie wouldn’t hurt.

  “No problem. It’s the least we can do for you trying to save this new suit of mine.” Tyler smiled just before a sharp heel pierced the top of his foot, and he winced.

  “Take your time getting the car, dear. I just have to tell Darcy something. I’ll meet you on the back porch, Amanda.” Tracy gave another look at her husband and a smile at Amanda before she retraced her steps to the dining room and beyond.

  Under normal circumstances, Amanda would have paid her respects to their host before leaving. But these were not normal circumstances, by any stretch of the imagination. She had made the appearance and received his thanks in front of everyone, and now she just needed to get as far away from the man as possible. She thanked her lucky stars that Tyler had spilled dip on his jacket at the right time. She would text Morris that she had left after they were on their way.

  Amanda let herself out the side door of the kitchen and walked around the side of the garage toward the front of the house, where Tyler would be waiting with the car. The ground was uneven in spots, so she had to pick up her skirts and negotiate carefully in the high heels. That’s why she wasn’t watching where she was going, and that’s when she walked straight into the man who stepped into her path.

  “Oh! Excuse me, I am so…” She stopped when she saw J.D.in front of her, his hands on her upper arms to steady her.

  “Sorry? Was that what you were about to say? Sorry for what? Running away from the party… or were you running away from me?”

  His tone sent shivers down her spine. It took a moment for her mind to stop spinning. How could he have known she was out here at this precise moment? Then it dawned on her… Tracy. How could she have told on her? And why?

  “I have a headache. I didn’t want to tear Morris away from the party. Tyler and Tracy were leaving anyway. I wasn’t running away.”

  His eyes softened a bit in their silent regard of her, but he didn’t loosen his grip. “You never were very good at fibbing, Amanda.”

  “Don’t you have guests to take care of? I really don’t want to keep Tyler and Tracy waiting.”

  “They aren’t waiting. They’ve left. I told them that I would make sure you got home. And my other guests are leaving also. Alex and Chloe will make sure they get away with the appropriate handshakes and thank yous in my absence.”

  “I don’t want…” She didn’t get to finish.

  “Right now, I’m being selfish. This is about what I want. And we need to find a different place for our discussion. Think you can walk in those shoes?” He glanced at her feet.

  “Of course I can walk, that isn’t the…”

  “Good. Let’s go.” His hand caught hers and practically pulled her along after him. He shortened his strides to match her shorter ones after a few minutes. Once they reached the bottom of the hill, Amanda had a sinking feeling she knew where they were headed. To the oak tree on the hilltop. She just didn’t know why.

  “J.D., is this necessary? Why can’t you say what you need to right here? It will be dark soon and I’m not exactly dressed for a walk in the woods.”

  He stopped for a moment and she felt a flare of hope that he'd seen her point. But he only stopped to shrug out of his jacket and place it around her shoulders, adding to her discomfort as she felt the warmth of his jacket and caught his scent lingering in the material. It was the same as if he'd had his arms around her... almost.

  They began to climb. It was slow going, but they eventually topped the slope. J.D. released his hold on her and took a couple of steps forward. Hands on his hips, he took a few moments and breathed in the fresh air and gaze upon the scenery below. His back was turned to her.

  The sun was about to slide behind the distant hills… its soft golden light shone across the valley below and reflected off the windows of the ranch house below them, almost like diamonds sparkling in a field of green. The last of the guests had departed, and a gentle peace was settling in with the evening.

  “This is still the most beautiful place on this ranch to me,” J.D. spoke, a soft reverence in his tones, but still he didn’t look at her. “I can’t tell you how many times over the years, when things were tough and doubts closed in. I would close my eyes and come back to this spot. I would see myself standing under this tree, and then I would see your blue eyes watching me. Your eyes always seemed to see me achieving my dreams. There was a quiet confidence in them that made me determined to succeed. I never wanted to disappoint you. I never wanted to bring tears to those eyes. Yet, I did.” He turned to look at her.

  It pained her to see the emotions darkening his eyes. “Let’s don’t talk about the past, J.D. It’s done. We’ve moved on. You have everything you said you would have one day. Just be happy.”

  “I don’t have everything. I can’t be happy… not yet.”

  “What more is there? You are J.D. Sterling. You can have anything you want.”

  “Can I? I’m praying you’re right. I’m afraid to ask for it… for what I want in order to be truly happy.”

  He had her confused. “I can’t believe anything scares you. Not the J.D. I know… you went after what you wanted, and you never gave up.”

  “I’m afraid of losing. Because if I lose what I want so desperately, I don’t know how I’ll survive it a second time.”

  “Just tell me what it is we’re talking about. Maybe I can help. That’s why you brought me up here, isn’t it? There’s something you need my help with again?”

  He took a couple of steps and that put him within touching distance. Yet, he didn’t touch her. And she curled her hands inside the material of his jacket lapels to fight the urge to reach out and touch him… to smooth the worry lines, apparent on his forehead, to coax that half-smile/half-grin across his mouth. But she didn’t move.

  “You’re the only one who can help me. You see, a long time ago, I looked into a pair of sky-blue eyes and knew that my life had forever changed. I didn’t know why at that moment, but my heart knew.” He raised a hand to the side of her face, his fingers gently trailing across her cheek until it was cupped in the palm of his hand.

  “From that moment
forward, I never faltered in my desire to make my dreams come true. But not for the reason you think. I thought it was for me, but it wasn’t. I wanted to be worthy of you. I wanted to be able to come back and stand on this hill with you and lay the world at your feet. But things didn’t quite go as planned. It took us a while to get back to this place… to this spot under this oak tree. I know that my love for you has never wavered in all these years. And I know that it will never cease until I’m six feet under…if then. The question I have been afraid to ask is if you could find a way to trust me with your heart again. That is the one thing only you can give me. It is the only thing in this world that I want… just your heart for the rest of my days.”

  His face was a little blurry. Tears had gathered in her eyes, and eventually one spilled over to trickle down her cheek. There was a large lump in her throat that made it hard to swallow.

  J.D. wiped the tear away with his thumb in the gentlest of touches. She saw that his eyes were a little watery also as he searched hers, waiting for her reply.

  In a split second, she was back under this tree as a teenager. Then time moved forward, and she remembered what they had shared together... the laughter… the tears. The dreams and the heartaches. Amanda saw the life she had formed for herself. It was busy and yet not complete. She had fooled herself into thinking it was. Then she was back in the present, and she saw the boy she had given her heart, mind, and body to so long ago. He was there looking at her, waiting for her, only he had grown into a man. The man she would love the rest of her life. That was the pure truth of it all. Nothing else mattered but that simple fact.

  “I gave you my heart right here a long time ago. I never took it back. You’ve had it with you every moment of every day since then.”

  J.D. brought his other hand up, and her face was cupped between his palms. His eyes glittered with green fire.

  “I know what it feels like now to have the greatest gift imaginable handed to me. I love you, Mandy Lawson. I want to stand on this hill and watch our children and grandchildren play and see the sunrises and sunsets for the next sixty years from here with you by my side.” He glanced above their heads and there was a grin on his face when he looked at her. “There’s mistletoe above us, and tomorrow is Christmas.”