The Helio Trilogy: Volumes 1-3

by Valerie Roeseler

  “Why did you stop?” Beckett begs.

  I declare with wonder, “I don’t have to do it.”

  “Yes, you do!” he argues.

  Camael interjects, “What happened?”

  Keeping a tight hold of Beckett’s hands, I look to each person in the room. “I don’t have to make him mortal to take the Darkness of his essence.”

  My father searches, “What are you saying?”

  A hush falls over the room. The corners of my lips pull tightly on the verge of laughter. I’m sure to look Beckett in the eyes when I claim, “I can cleanse his essence.”

  Camael protests, “That’s not possible. Only Michael is able to give forgiveness.”

  Azrael counters, “Does it not make sense that he could have given her an echo of his ability? She has Immortal Pestilence. Perhaps we were wrong in believing it would destroy the Darkness.”

  Jack ventures, “What else would it do?”

  Solas is in a daze as he stares at me, his tone flat, “Consume it.”

  I shake Beckett’s hands in mine, “If you don’t have to become mortal, would you allow me to cleanse your essence and take your Darkness as my own?”

  He looks to his brother and sister in question. Thea nods, a tiny tear trailing over the beauty mark beneath her eye. Cass nods as well. Turning back to me and locking his gaze, he prompts, “Do it.”

  I promptly dive back into his being, finding his Darkness easily. It dances around me, slithering against my prodding mind. I coax it back with me, urging it to leave the blue and gold flecks behind. It follows with devotion, eager to be united with me.

  The transition from Beckett to myself is seamless. My eyes close in bliss as his Darkness glides over me, a warm blanket of fortification and allegiance. We meld together like lovers. A tingle travels from my chest through my extremities. It builds, becoming a stinging mass of discomfort. It grows. A fire rages through my body, consuming me whole.

  My wings explode from my body. I release Beck’s hands and throw up my walls as I crash to the floor, writhing in screams.

  Withstanding the test of agony, the Darkness subsides, nesting within my essence. It claims my essence as its own, and the Darkness becomes mine once again.

  Weak and shaking, I push up on my hands. Beckett helps me to my feet, and I observe his state. As if to make his own statement, he grins and releases his wings. They appear brighter, having more of a golden tint to them than their typical muddy brown. I rasp, still attempting to catch my breath again, “It worked?”

  I’m wrenched into his arms. “It worked!”

  I pull back, giving him a smile, “You’re free.”

  “I am, and your eyes are back to normal,” he echoes softly, smiling back down to me.

  My thoughts begin to stumble upon themselves as I gush, “Do you know what this means?”

  My father warns, “Do not jump to conclusions, daughter.”

  I address him and Camael together, “None of them deserve the Darkness they were forced to take.”

  Camael stresses, “It is truly not your decision to make. As it stands, there may be consequences for what you did for Beckett.”

  “Michael?” I test.

  He confirms, “If he is to see Beckett’s wings, he will know what has been done. Only he has that ability, and you are the only being with an echo of that ability. He will make the connection and make sure you pay the penalties.”

  “What if I ask him first?” I challenge.

  Azrael states, “I do not imagine he will bend.”

  I volley, “What if you explain to him why my Darkness is necessary? I’ve lost to Cora once and am nothing against Camael. I can’t be Teloch and defeat the Horsemen of the Apocalypse without it. My Darkness is the key to everything.”

  Camael cautions, “He will want to watch you perform the sacrament.”

  Jack steps forward, “I volunteer.” I regard Jack over my shoulder. He presses, “I know it’s not much, but my Darkness can contribute to yours. Maybe if we overflow you with it, Cora won’t stand a chance.”

  I zero in on Cassius and Theodora, the corner of my mouth quirking to one side. I know their answer before I even ask, “Do you wish to gift me with your Darkness in exchange for the Light as well?”

  They both begin crying, hugging each other, then taking their brother into their embrace. I’ve never felt more complete, more true to my destiny. Michael is the only one to stand in my way, and I’ve had enough of his sabotaging limitations. The Griffins deserve this. Jack deserves this. I won’t allow them to be denied. They are my family.

  What of Solas?

  Chapter 22

  Solas chaperones the Griffin triplets to the west wing of The Keep while Jack, Camael, and my father escort me to find Michael. He’s not hard to find. He is waiting in the War Room with Raphael and Gabriel when we arrive as if they were expecting us all along.

  Michael rises from his seat in the front of the room with a sense of grace and serenity in his composure. Before I can begin, he criticizes, “You believe me to be ignorant.”

  My breath seizes in my chest. Oh, shit.

  “You lied to me, Camael,” he states calmly.

  Camael urges, “It was necess—”

  “Ludicrous!” Michael bursts out. He recomposes himself. “If this were a lesson you considered necessary, you should have brought it to my attention. Instead, you went behind my back, releasing her into society.”

  I step up to bat for Camael, playing to Michael’s ego with a deep bow as I do. “This wasn’t his doing.”

  As I rise, Michael grits, “Elucidate.”

  I aim to gain his pity with my forged sadness, “Purging the Darkness damaged me. You didn’t believe me before, but a piece of that Darkness belonged to me. It was the balancing half of my essence.”

  “You are mistaken,” he states.

  Raphael argues, “I don’t believe she is.” Michael regards him with disbelief. “Did you not feel what we did to her? It was unsettling. She hasn’t been the same since she became conscious from it.”

  Michael eyes me, judgingly. Camael adds, “Her first day of training was a complete failure. She knew it as well as I.”

  I admit, “I left The Keep on my own.”

  Michael asks Camael, “You lied to cover her delinquency?”

  Camael acknowledges, “I believed she needed to do what her heart desired in order to find the strength she was missing. It has always been her way.”

  “Yet, you were wrong,” Michael notes.

  Azrael places his hands on my shoulders from behind me, “That depends on how you perceive the current situation.”

  Michael welcomes, “What is the current situation.”

  I declare, “During my training with Camael, it became apparent that without my Darkness, Teloch did not exist. I was ashamed and weak. I fled to Red Meadow to hide. I had given up. Cora ambushed me with a group of Fallen, and I tried to prove myself one more time.”

  Michael looks down his nose at me, “You failed…again.”

  I straighten my spine. “Yes. I was lucky Ezra was there to save me, but the last thing I wanted was to come back to The Keep. I wasn’t Teloch anymore. I didn’t possess the strength I needed to save us from the Horsemen.”

  “You speak as though this is in the past,” Gabriel voices, joining Michael in standing.

  Ignoring his statement, I invite, “Hearing what has happened and the observation of others, do you believe that my Darkness is essential to getting through the apocalypse and destroying the Horsemen?”

  Michael takes a long time to answer. I don’t push. I wait, letting him come to a decision on his own. He attests, “I admit, it is a possibility we cannot afford to question if the Horsemen arrive. I must speak with Dominions on the matter before I can agree.”

  I hasten, “Please. I know I’m a pain in your ass. I’m defiant and reckless, and I stand firm in my opinions. I know without the Darkness inside me I’m more…adherent, but you need this as
much as I do.” He nods once, tight-lipped. “Also, please, let them know I can regain the Darkness without violence.”

  Gabriel’s eyes light up as Michael’s converge. Gabriel’s countenance says everything to me. It says that this is what he’s been waiting for. This is the path I was meant to be on. This is my destiny. Gabriel coaxes with a soft smile, “Without violence?”

  “It has been done,” I admit, allowing a flash of Darkness to display in my eyes for a mere second.

  Michael appears speechless. Raphael interprets, “You have found a way to separate the Darkness from the Light?”

  Keeping my eyes on Michael, I petition, “I have…and I would like to request to return the entire Gray Legion to the Light, starting with Jack.”

  I feel Jack tense behind me as Michael’s focus snaps to him. Michael lobbies, “On what grounds?”

  I implore, “Two reasons: One; I will need as much of the Darkness as I can contain to defeat the war to come. Two; You know as much as I do, every being residing within The Keep has earned it. They protected us from Lucian and Lilith’s legions and assisted in their defeat. They are loyal to the core and have never failed me.”

  He compromises, “I cannot allow you to erase all of their sins. I will allow a handful.”

  I shake my head, “No. It’s all or none.”

  He frowns at my counteroffer. He poses, “I cannot imagine there is much to be done about it if your father and I are in Paradise negotiating for your request to retain Darkness.”

  My heart jumps into my throat with excitement. I contain myself as best I can until they disappear. Once I am sure they’re gone, I spin and jump into Jack’s arms. He embraces me with a single spin, then puts me back on my feet.

  Camael claps Jack on the shoulder, happiness pouring from him, “Let’s go tell your mother the good news.”

  Jack spins me in his arms one more time before his father drags him from the War Room to find Evelyn. Watching him leave, the happiness I feel for him is weighed down by thoughts of Solas. Not once has Solas asked for the salvation the others will receive. Part of me believes he knows he doesn’t have to ask. I would give him redemption in a heartbeat. He deserves every bit of Light I can shine into his essence.

  Gabriel flanks my side, and I turn to face him. He admonishes, “I am proud of you.”

  I’m eager for his advice. “This is the right path, isn’t it?”

  His head tilts in assessment, “You are almost there. You still have a paramount decision to make.”

  “You mean between Jack and Solas?”

  He nods with a gentle smile. “Though, you have already made your decision, haven’t you?”

  My cheerfulness wanes as Gabriel waits for an answer. “I don’t want to hurt him.”

  “He has his own path. It will cause pain in the beginning, but his own happiness will come when it’s time.”

  I divulge wretchedly, “I’m not ready. Does that make me selfish?”

  He shrugs, walking away, “You are ready when you are ready.”

  I’m in deep contemplation when he disappears into the corridor. I quickly bolt after him, “Wait!” Gabriel is nowhere to be seen.

  Raphael exits the War Room, “If you are ready, I suggest this happen before Michael and your father return. I will find those I can and send them to the Throne Room.”

  “I agree. Thank you. I’ll have Solas gather the rest. Once everyone is there, I’ll offer them the choice.”

  “You are becoming a noble ambassador,” he comments with a slight bow of his head in respect.

  We part opposite ways as I proceed to the west wing of The Keep. I call out in my mind, Solas?

  “We’re in Beckett’s chambers,” he notifies.

  I rap on the door twice with a knuckle before allowing myself in. The nervous tension in the room is heavy between the four of them. Theodora and Cassius are clinging to each other as if their lives depend on it. Beckett sits on the edge of a chair, his knee bouncing with anxiety. Solas is the only one who seems cross, leaning against the wall with an avoiding gaze.

  I give them a small smile to put them at ease, “We’re gathering everyone in the Throne Room now.”

  Beckett pops to his feet as Thea tests, “Michael agreed?”

  I tilt my head, my expression contorting as if to ready myself for pain, “He didn’t so much agree as he insinuated permission.”

  Cassius presses, “We need you to be more clear with us.”

  The rigidness in my body deflates, “He and my father left to talk to Dominions and negotiate for me to be allowed to have my Darkness back. He said there isn’t much he could do about me giving The Gray Legion redemption if he wasn’t here to stop me.”

  They look to each other nervously. Cassius addresses his sister, “It is good enough for me.”

  She nods, “I as well.”

  I request to Solas, “Do you want to send out a message for everyone to meet in the Throne Room?”

  He affirms my request, then heads out of the door, “I’ll be in my chambers.”

  I search the Griffin triplets for an answer to Solas’ sudden change in behavior. Beckett shakes his head solemnly as if he’s eluding to something. I ask them, “Will you be sure everyone makes it to the Throne Room—even the sentries outside.” They agree, and I tell them, “I need to talk to him a minute. I’ll meet you all there.”

  Something is bothering him about this, but I don’t understand what it could be. Whatever is going on with him, I need to fix. Solas has been there for me—for the most part—since I was twelve-years-old. He was always the one to pick me up when I fell. I don’t want whatever this is to eat away at him.

  I knock on his door. Solas opens it, allowing it to swing open behind him as he busies himself around the room. I close the door, watching him with curiosity. He moves things that don’t need to be moved from here to there. He picks things up, just to put them down again. He appears zoned out, deep in thought, not seeing what’s around him.

  I prompt, “Are you coming?”

  He stops in the middle of the room. Still unseeing, his chest rises and falls heavily. There’s no response.

  “Solas?”

  He startles, finally facing me. There’s so much emotion warring in his eyes.

  I repeat, “Are you coming?”

  Unblinking, he shakes his head. I take a step toward him, and he collapses to his knees in despair. I close the distance between us, falling with him and taking his weary face in my hands, “What’s wrong? What’s going on with you?”

  “I can’t go,” he states evenly, watching me for a reaction.

  “Why?”

  “Because you’ll be disappointed with me.”

  “Why?” I beg, attempting to shake some emotion out of him.

  He hesitates, the silence stretching. “I don’t want the Light.”

  My hands slide down to the sides of his neck, “Don’t be ridiculous. You deserve redemption as much as any of the others.”

  Taking my wrists, he moves my hands from his neck to his mouth. He doesn’t kiss them, only rests their knuckles against his lips.

  “Solas?” I urge.

  He kisses my fingers with more tenderness than he’s ever showed me, then pulls our hands between us. His beautiful blue eyes bore into me, “I don’t want the Light, Ivy.”

  My heart breaks for him. I’m confused. The only transgression Solas has against him is for breaching Sheol without permission from Paradise. He did it to avenge me when he thought I had died. I’ve always felt it was my fault he fell, and I know I’m not the only one who believes that. He never has, but others have and still do.

  A tear escapes me. My voice cracks, “Please, let me give you this. After ever—”

  “I know you blame yourself for my fall, but it was never your fault. I knew what I was doing.” Solas reaches up, wiping the tear from my cheek. “If there’s one thing I can ask of you; don’t ask me why I refuse. Accept it as my decision. I have my reasons. I may never re
veal them, but please don’t be angry with me for my choice.”

  My voice is a mere whisper, “I could never be angry, but my heart will always ache for your loss of the Light.”

  His hand stills on my cheek. A sad grin pulls his mouth to one side, “Oh, it was never lost, princess. You have always been my Light.” Solas draws me to him, and I forfeit all self-control.

  Our lips part and my body melds against his until there’s no room left between us. His touch is a blissful heat over my skin. Our complicated past and uncertain future become nonexistent. He laces his fingers through my hair, claiming me as our tongues glide against each other.

  Solas is my rock, and I will do what I can to be his. I would never know my own strength if it wasn’t for him. I’m the woman I am today because of him. My love for Solas is confusing, but I refuse to let him down. As much as I don’t want to, I ease away. He kisses me gently one last time. His voice is profound and low, “I will be here if you need me.”

  My heart clenches in my chest. I realize I was hoping he would change his mind, but I understand it’s his choice to make and not mine. I will continue to stand by him. His Darkness will never tear me from him. Peas in a pod.

  The Gray Legion parts for me when I arrive. I hold my head high and take my place on the dais. I search over the legion as they quiet. Some are shirtless, wings spread wide, an indication they were recently in their Griffin forms. Others are curiously gossiping amongst themselves is hushed whispers. Eric and Alice have been left in the dark, and they convey their confusion as they look upon me. Evelyn is tearing up, latching on to Camael’s arm in the front row. Jack stands eagerly with the Griffin triplets towards the center of the front.

  Once the crowd is settled down, I give them a hopeful smile. My voice carries through the Throne Room, echoing off the columns, “By a show of hands, who here knows what Immortal Pestilence does?”

  Faces turn to each other, searching. The majority raise their hands. I nod casually, then point to one of the Fallen, “Ashford! Can you enlighten those who don’t know?”