Interracial Desires: BWWM Multicultural Romance Box Set

by Tamara Black

  “I still don’t see why you left him,” she said after taking a drink.

  “I have dreams.”

  “Like what?”

  “College for one.”

  “Why you wanna work when you got a man that can provide for you?”

  “Are you serious?” I asked, laughing.

  “Yeah. Why?”

  I shook my head from side to side. “You’re crazy.”

  “Why? It’s how it’s worked for thousands of years. Or millions of years.”

  “That’s why we have to fight hard to not keep it the same. Feminism. Ain’t you ever heard of it?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Ms. College girl.”

  “A degree could mean more money.”

  “Not as money as an OG drug dealer.”

  “Well, that’s too fucking dangerous a life for me.”

  “At least you got to fuck that big, black snake of his,” she said then giggled.

  “Shut up, girl. His cock is nice.”

  “Did you name it for him?”

  “No! Of course not!” I lied.

  I miss Excalibur, I thought, thinking about Snake’s cock. Even more, I missed the man. Despite all his flaws, he was special.

  “I woulda named it if I was you. Maybe that’s why he hasn’t called you.”

  “No, I told him I was done. He’s probably moved on.”

  We talked a while longer before I went to bed. Between work and everything else, I’d had no energy at all the last few days. You just need a little sleep, I told myself, hoping it was true. The last thing I needed was to get sick or something. If I missed any more work, they would have to fire me eventually. And that wouldn’t help me at all.

  * * *

  Ten days after leaving Snake, I woke up with an upset stomach that quickly evolved into cramps. My period was late, but that had happened before, so I didn’t immediately think about being pregnant. When I told Gina, that was the first thing she mentioned. After doing the math in my head, I realized I’d slept with Snake more than a few times.

  I rushed out to get a pregnancy test. After pissing on it, I nervously waited for the indicator to change. A dark, clear plus sign soon appeared. I grabbed the box it had come in, checking to make sure it meant I was positive – as if somehow it wasn’t true. A baby would change my life dramatically. I instantly thought about Snake and whether or not I should tell him right away.

  He was the type of person that would take care of me and the baby out of a sense of honor. I didn’t want to be around him for that reason. His baby mama was enough drama for him without me adding to it with another baby. If nothing else, I’d have to take care of it on my own. I decided to ask him again to quit the drug game and move away with me to the suburbs.

  If he said yes to that without knowing about the baby, I could be certain he loved me and didn’t just feel some sense of responsibility because he’d knocked me up. He would pay a lot of money, but I didn’t want that type of life for me or my baby. Whether it was a boy or a girl, I planned on devoting my life to them. I wanted a better life than the one I’d been born into.

  Later that afternoon, I dressed in my best outfit to show I wasn’t trying too hard. We’d only known each other for just over a week, but during that time we’d gotten close. I’d never really dreamed of getting married as a little girl, but as I got older, the idea of settling down and having a family of my own was a nice one. Around five in the evening, I headed toward Snake’s house to talk to him.

  TEN

  Snake

  After evading the cops and breaking up the takeover attempt by Clarence, life was looking good. Well, except for the fact that Charity had left me. I hadn’t fucked anyone since she left – not even any good brain – which was a record for me. The more I thought about it, the less I was able to erase her from my memory. I’d only just met her, but she’d left a big impression on my life.

  I packed a bowl. As I waited for the vaporizer to heat up, I thought about Charity, the little white woman who had stolen my heart. Before I’d met her I’d wanted to quit dealing drugs, but when she asked me to do it I wanted to keep going, to see how big I could get before I got caught or shot, those two outcomes that befall most gangsters sooner or later.

  Once the Volcano was heated up, I took a hit, holding the smoke in my lungs as long as I could. When I exhaled, smoke filled the living room. The whole damn house felt emptier without Charity around. I couldn’t believe I was thinking about her so much. Money over bitches was my mantra for so many years, I didn’t think I was capable of love or that it even existed in the real world.

  King Chip spat his rhymes on the stereo as I smoked out and tried to come up with my next move. Two bowls later, I was baked out of my mind. The more I sat there on the couch and thought about Charity, the more I wanted to go out and find her to ask her what the fuck was up. She could at least give me one last fuck, I told myself as I stood up.

  When I got to the front door and opened it, I was surprised to see her walking up the stairs. I laughed out loud as she crossed the porch. She gave me a look that meant “WTF?” I motioned her in with a nod of my head. After looking up and down the street for anything suspicious, I went back inside and closed the door. As soon as I turned around, she rushed forward and wrapped her arms around me.

  “Hey, girl,” I said.

  “Hey, boy.” She looked up at me. “I’m sorry I left. We should talk about it like adults. I mean, it would be a big change in your life, but you know how the game works. You know what’s in it for you. The longer you continue, the bigger the chance they’re going to catch you.”

  “I know, I know.”

  I waved my hand through the air as if it could swat away her fears.

  “Do you, though? Really?”

  “Yeah, I do. Come in and smoke a bowl with me.”

  She frowned. “I can’t.”

  “What? Why not? You’re not even smoking now? I don’t think I could give up weed for anyone…”

  “I just don’t feel like it, okay?”

  “Fine. I’m already high.”

  “Can we just talk?”

  “I’m listening,” I said.

  “I just came over to see if you thought about what I asked.”

  “About getting out of the game?” She nodded her head up and down. “Come and sit down. Let’s talk.”

  “I can’t stay long,” she said.

  We moved to the couch and sat down at opposite ends. All the fun moments we’d had together on it flashed through my mind.

  “I’ve been thinking about what you said.”

  “Yeah?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. It makes sense. I got about four million stashed here and there. We can live off that for a while if we’re smart about it.”

  Joy spread across her face. “Are you being for real?”

  “Yeah. I say what I mean and mean what I say.”

  “There’s something I need to tell you.”

  “Go ahead,” I said, unsure of what would come out of her mouth.

  “I’m pregnant.”

  My mouth hung open as I stared at her, trying to figure out her angle. Was she going to be another baby mama? Those two words were the last thing I’d thought I’d hear her say to me.

  “You going to say something?” she asked angrily.

  “Yeah, that’s good news. I’m just…” I let my voice trail off.

  “Just what?”

  “Blown away. I made up my mind to stop the drug game the other day.”

  “You didn’t rush over to tell me?”

  “I was just about to when you walked up to the door.”

  “For real?”

  I smiled. “Yeah. If that’s not a sign…”

  She scooted closer to me on the couch.

  “So you still smoking after the pregnancy, right?”

  “Yeah. And you can smoke whenever you want. I don’t want to control you.”

  Damn straight, I thought. Deep down, I didn�
�t trust her completely. I’d been running the streets and putting in work too long. We embraced and kissed. Around nine months later, my second son was born into the world. His mother was another color, but Charity meant the world to me. She helped me leave the drug game behind.

  With the money I’d saved up over the years, we were able to get a mortgage on a nice double story home in Lakewood, Ohio. We both had part time jobs to keep from going crazy and to cover our tracks. A lot of other people would have blown through it all quickly, but we had it divided up into small chunks to last us the rest of our lives.

  Tanika and my moms demanded I start giving them money again, but I told them I was out of the game for good. After paying twenty grand for an attorney, we were able to get full custody of Kalim. He and his brother, Joshua Terrance, became the most important people in our lives. Every day that passed brought Charity and I closer together. We’d been in love before, but it deepened as time went on.

  I thought back a few times and wondered what would have happened to me if I’d kept selling drugs, but none of the scenarios came close to what I had in my life with Charity and my two boys. A year after Joshua was born, we got married in a small ceremony. Instead of an expensive diamond ring, I started a college savings account for both of our boys. Life was good. An OG never dies. He just gets smarter.

  Accidental Attraction

  ONE

  Serena

  When people saw me, most of them underestimated me. I still had some of the look of the streets, which I used to my advantage as much as possible. Sometimes I think it was the way I looked and acted that enabled me to become successful as a businesswoman so quickly. I didn't see it as a negative, just a fact of life. The truth had a way of setting you free.

  I had learned that at a very young age growing up in one of the poorest neighborhoods of Chicago. Englewood was no longer my home, but I knew how easy it was to slip and fall once you began to accumulate wealth and power. On my way up a number of people had tried to knock me down. That was one of the main reasons I was still alone.

  Well, I wasn't in a real relationship. I did have a man I saw. Luke was the funniest white guy I knew. In my mind, I didn't see him as Caucasian. He didn't talk black or dress black or act black – if there is such a thing. No, it was more that in my eyes he was beyond color. It was a feeling that was hard for me to put into words. I was never good with my emotions.

  “Ms. James.”

  “Yes?” I looked at Tammy, the secretary I had been chastising lightly before getting lost in thought.

  “You were saying you wanted me to do something.”

  “Just don't mess up again,” I said, walking away before she could ask me how she had messed up.

  To be honest, I wasn't sure. All the hormones rushing through my body were really starting to concern me. I had more than enough money in the bank to take the next seven months off, but I also knew that being gone that long would cause me to quickly fall back down the corporate ladder. I was so close to quitting and starting my own company, but now the baby was in the picture. And Luke.

  I made my way to my corner office and closed the door. After sitting for only a second or two, I got back up and headed to see Tina in her office. Hopefully, she would go to lunch with me and let me know what to do. After two months, I couldn't really hide the pregnancy from Luke anymore. I had to tell him. But at the same time, I was terrified he would run away.

  “Time for lunch?” I asked as I popped my head in her office.

  “Sure, boss. Not like I have a lot of work to do or anything.”

  “It's important. I have to tell you something.”

  She stood up and pointed to her stomach with a questioning look on her face. How the hell did she know? I thought as I nodded my head.

  “Let's go. And no wine for you.”

  The ride down the elevator to the lobby and the short walk down the block to our favorite sandwich shop, neither of us talked. We knew better than to talk about something so delicate with so many ears listening. Office politics were the worse, but it was nothing like I'd had to deal with growing up so close to the projects.

  “Why didn't you tell me?” she asked as soon as we were seated.

  “I've been thinking about how to tell Luke.”

  “He still doesn't know?” I frowned. “You have to tell him. Soon.”

  “I know. I'm just not ready yet.”

  “No. You need to tell him. Right now. Like get your phone out and tell him you need to talk to him in person tonight and not to let you forget.”

  I sighed, but I pulled out my phone because I knew she wouldn't shut up until I'd done it. She was my best friend in the world.

  “There. Satisfied?”

  “I'm not the one you need to satisfy.”

  She gave me a disapproving look as the waiter walked up. We both ordered a salad and a bottle of white wine to share. As senior level executives in a Fortune 500 company, we could pretty much do whatever we wanted.

  “I know,” I said as soon as the waiter left. “I'm just afraid of losing him and my job and everything I've worked so hard for during the last twenty two years of my life.”

  “How many women you know from Englewood end up getting a college degree?”

  “I don't know any.”

  “Exactly. You're lucky we met in college.”

  I rolled my eyes, but I knew she was right. My street smarts had to be adapted to work while in college. Tina, my roommate, had sat me down on my first day and laid it out straight for me. During our first semester, we fell madly in love for each other. We had drunkenly experimented one time, kissing in our dorm room, but we'd both decided we were better off as close friends.

  “I thought you were on the pill,” she said.

  “I must have forgotten to take one or two.”

  “One or two?”

  She shook her head from side to side as she frowned. The waiter arrived with our wine, luckily, and after a glass each, we were both a little more relaxed.

  “So, how did you know?” I asked.

  “Just a hunch. We're close, and you've been acting sketchy.”

  “Well, it happened. I just have to find a way to tell Luke. I'm not sure how he's going to take it.”

  “Do it sooner rather than later.”

  “I know. I'm doing it today. In fact, going to take the rest of the day off. Can you tell them when you get back to the office?”

  “Must be nice to be the boss.”

  “Sometimes,” I said with a smile.

  After Tina left, I stayed behind. I wanted a drink to settle my nerves, but I knew I couldn't. Was I ready for the huge change about to occur in my life? Would Luke be there to help me? I didn't have any answers by the time I left the restaurant.

  I called Luke in my car and asked him to meet me for coffee on campus. Running a few errands before I arrived would give me a little more time to think about how I was going to tell him. I was pretty sure I knew how he would react, but I also knew you couldn't really truly know another person.

  TWO

  Luke

  “Mother fucker,” I said, tossing down the X-Box controller.

  “Next,” Jason said, laughing. “All that time Luke has been spending with Serena got his game weak.”

  “Whatever, man. I don't spend that much time with her.”

  I stood up and headed into the kitchen as someone else sat down on the couch to take on Jason.

  “What's going on in here?” I asked.

  “Making drinks,” a blond haired woman I hadn't met said then turned back to whatever concoction her and her friend were making.

  “Looks...”

  “Yeah? You gonna rag on my drink? Really?”

  “I'm just playing. I'll try some of that.”

  She smiled and poured me a glass of what looked like watermelon Kool-Aid and vodka. A sip of the mixture confirmed my suspicions.

  “What do you think?” the blonde asked, putting her hand on my arm.

  �
�Not bad,” I lied then lowered the red plastic glass, hoping she didn't want me to take another drink.

  “I'm Theresa and this is Holly. You live here?”

  “Occasionally. It's a long story. I'm Luke.”

  “I've heard about you,” Theresa said then smiled again.

  “Only the good, I hope.”

  “I've heard you're a bad, bad boy.”

  “Well, thanks, for the drink,” I said as I raised the cup.

  Before either of them could say anything, I slipped upstairs then unlocked the door to my bedroom. The fact that I had to use a padlock made me a little sad, especially since it had been over a year since I graduated college. I had my diploma, but I wasn't ready to enter the real world. To my credit, a degree in 20th century American Literature wasn't very useful in finding me a job.

  After I shut my door, I got my Kindle and started reading Moby Dick. I'd read the book over a dozen times. It was like comfort reading to me, similar to how some people used eating a certain food as means to calm them down. My mind was occupied with thoughts of Serena. She had been acting differently, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

  She just wanted to be casual for some reason. I enjoyed the sex we had, but I found myself wanting to spend more time with her. The fact that I had a crappy job and lived in a house with four men still in college was probably the main reason she didn't want a proper relationship with me. We didn't have a proper relationship, but I wanted one.

  As a poet, I could spend half a day listing the individual things I loved about her without coming close to completing an accurate representation of her. She was my ideal woman in any number of ways. I loved the way her hair appeared beautiful yet at the same time as if she'd spent no time on it at all. Her facial expressions were amazing to watch as well.