Conspiracy of Silence

by Gledé Browne Kabongo

  “Don’t you want to know what it is?”

  “What?” she asked gloomily.

  “The surprise I have for you,” Marc answered, his enthusiasm waning.

  “Oh. Maybe later,” Nina responded weakly.

  There was a long pause.

  “I lost him too, Nina,” Marc said softly.

  She didn’t know what to say. Her head told her that her husband was just as grief-stricken as she was, and that she should be comforting him as much as he did her. But she couldn’t get past her loss and the humiliation of lying on the ground, bleeding out, and the only person who could help her was the man she despised most in this world. To make matters worse, he watched her suffering and delayed calling for help. It was too much to take. If God was trying to teach her a lesson, school was out as far as she was concerned.

  “I’m sorry, babe. I know you’re grieving, too. I don’t know how to deal with this,” she said, her voice fragile. “I don’t know how to process what I’m feeling. I don’t know how not to be angry. I’m barely holding it together.”

  “You don’t have to hold it together, Nina,” he said gently, pulling her into his arms. “That’s what I’m here for. When you’re better, I’m better.”

  His admission made her feel even more wretched than she already did. But it also reminded her what she was desperately fighting to preserve. She couldn’t tell him about her father now. Maybe not ever.

  She placed both hands on either side of his face and rubbed her forehead against his.

  “I’m afraid that that was our big chance to be a family,” she whispered. “We may not get another one.”

  “I was looking forward to pediatrician visits and late night feedings,” Marc said, his voice tinged with disappointment. “I even started working on assembling the crib. Maybe I acted too soon.”

  “Don’t say that. We were well past the first trimester. We had every reason to be optimistic.”

  Nina leaned back into the comfort of the sofa. “How did you find out I was in trouble?”

  “I got a call from a colleague of yours, named Phillip. He said he was expecting you for a scheduled meeting but when he got to his office, he found you passed out and bleeding on the floor. He called an ambulance right away.”

  Nina reminded herself that losing her temper was one of the reasons she lost her baby. If she hadn’t confronted Phillip, he wouldn’t have had the opportunity to make her vulnerable. He must have gone through her phone to find Marc’s number. The idea of him rummaging through such a private part of her life made her want to spit.

  “Was he at the hospital when you got there?”

  “Yes. I thanked him on our behalf. He was very concerned about you. He was genuinely sorry when I told him you lost the baby.”

  Nina scoffed. “Yes, I’m sure he was all broken up about it.”

  Marc raised his eyebrow. “Why do you say that? He went out of his way to help a virtual stranger.”

  “I guess I should be thankful.”

  Nina couldn’t keep the bitterness out of her voice. Marc wouldn’t be so appreciative if he knew Phillip’s lack of enthusiasm for helping her when she needed it most probably cost him his son. She would have to be careful of what she said from now on. She told Phillip he was a sociopath with no understanding of human bonding and emotion. He proved her right. So why did she feel so awful? What did she expect? That he would suddenly grow paternal feelings for her and forget every terrible thing she had accused him of? Why did she do this to herself? Why did she keep holding onto the hope that one day, he would see her as a real father would: a wonderful daughter who was deserving of his love and respect? Maybe she’s the one who needed psychiatric help.

  Marc’s next question brought her back to reality. “Why were you in his office all the way in Cambridge?”

  “The change of scenery seemed like a good idea. Jack asked me to follow up with him regarding the execution of our revamped corporate responsibility strategy. He’s on the board of directors at Baseline and runs a foundation here in Boston.”

  Nina feigned boredom with the topic and flipped on the television. Oprah was on, featuring her Favorite Things. Nina wasn’t much in the holiday mood, but she at least had the tree up. There was still some Christmas shopping left to do and not much time to do it. The one bright spot this holiday season would be her mother’s visit in a few weeks. Oprah trotted out a purple cashmere sweater that piqued her interest.

  “Remind me to pick up that sweater for my mother,” she said to Marc. “I can’t believe Christmas is around the corner. What a year we’ve had, huh?”

  “Next year will be better.”

  “We get a do-over.”

  “How so?”

  “We get to try again.”

  Marc walked over to the fireplace and picked up the poker. He stoked the almost dead embers, bringing them back to life.

  “I don’t know, Nina, it’s too much pressure,” he said, shaking his head. “We were happy before we started trying to conceive, before we found out there was a problem. Trying to get pregnant has taken over our lives. Maybe we need to make some decisions in the coming year.”

  She joined him at the fireplace and rubbed his shoulders. “You want us to quit, forget about having kids of our own?”

  “We’ve been through a traumatic experience. I’m just saying we should give ourselves some time to heal and figure out our options.”

  “We were so close. A few more months and we would have had a healthy baby. Why is God punishing me? Haven’t I been through enough?”

  Marc frowned, took her by the hands and sat her down on the couch. “What are you talking about?”

  The words were out of her mouth before she realized she had said them out loud. The last thing she wanted to do was give Marc another reason to doubt her. She said the most logical thing she could think of.

  “Nothing. This has been a long process, one that took a toll on my body and our marriage. I feel like a rag doll that was mistakenly put in the washer on the spin cycle.”

  The doorbell pierced their self-imposed silence. Nina nudged Marc to get it and he reluctantly untangled himself from her arms to answer it. He returned to the living room with Charlene in tow. It took enormous self-control for Nina not to roll her eyes in disgust.

  “I’m in charge around here, at least for the weekend. Anybody got a problem with that?”

  “No, ma’am,” Marc said.

  “Marc, I forgot the grocery list in my car, so go fetch it.”

  Marc kissed Nina on the forehead and headed out the door.

  “Girl, you took a licking, but you have got to get out of this funk,” she said, joining Nina on the sofa.

  “He just stood there watching me, Char, like I was some stray dog that didn’t matter. He took his sweet time calling for help.”

  Charlene looked away, unable to meet Nina’s gaze.

  “What is it, Char? Why can’t you look me in the face? Don’t you want to hear how your lover and I argued about you before he refused to call for help before it was too late?”

  Charlene’s mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water, gasping for air. “That’s just nasty. Why would you say something like that to me?”

  “Because it’s the naked truth. And you’re right. It’s revolting to think of the two of you sleeping together.”

  “You better have some proof, Nina. You can’t accuse me of some jacked up shit like this.”

  “Hand me your phone,” Nina said.

  Charlene looked dazed. “What for?”

  “Are you refusing to hand it over?”

  “Those drugs they gave you at the hospital must be messing with your head.”

  “Do you have so little respect for our friendship that you continue to lie, even after you’ve been found out?”

  “You mean the way you’ve been lying to your husband?” Charlene answered brazenly.

  “But I didn’t lie to you, Charlene. And you don’t even have the decency to
be embarrassed when you know full well I wouldn’t make an accusation like this without proof. What has he done to you?”

  “You’re grieving. It must be making you crazy, so I’ll let this slide.”

  Before Nina knew what was happening, the palm of her hand connected with Charlene’s face and made a loud crackling sound. Charlene was stunned, but not for long. Nina found herself on the receiving end of a retaliatory back hand that hurt worse than a bee sting. Nina got off the couch and headed to the kitchen where she took a bag of frozen vegetables from the freezer and applied it to her face. When she returned to the living room, Charlene looked madder than a rottweiler about to pounce on its victim. There was only one way this was going to end.

  “You and Phillip deserve each other,” Nina said with resignation. “You’re a two-faced, backstabbing slut. Get out. This friendship is over.”

  Charlene picked up her purse and practically knocked over a visibly shaken Marc on her way out.

  “Did you just curse out your best friend? I’ve never heard that kind of language come out of your mouth before. What’s going on, Nina?”

  “I’m tired, Marc. I’m just so tired.”

  * * *

  “SORRY, MR. TIBBS, I DIDN’T mean to suffocate you. I’m a wreck. A selfish wreck who just threw away over twenty years of friendship. What did I do? I know you’ve always loved Char, but hear me out—she crossed a line she shouldn’t have, and I don’t know if I have it in me to forgive her.

  “She had a relationship with Phillip. Phillip, of all people! Of course I have evidence, there are phone records and emails. I don’t care what her reasons are. I know she doesn’t know the whole story, but that’s no excuse, Mr. Tibbs. It’s just plain wrong.

  “This hurts as badly as losing Noah. Noah Anthony. He was so real to me, Mr. Tibbs. I felt him kick. Marc and I would talk to him all the time.

  “Marc. I haven’t been the best wife lately. I know he’s grieving too, but I’ve been sucking up all the air in the house with my incessant crying and foul mood. I should be looking after him, too, but he never complains. He’s so worried about me, Mr. Tibbs. Maybe the truth is, I’m a little worried, too.”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Phillip sat in his office at the Dare to Dream Foundation, wondering how everything could have gone so terribly wrong. For the first time in years, he was unsure what to do next, a feeling he despised because he was used to being in control. Every move he made up until now had been meticulously planned and he always had a plan B and C just in case. With Nina, all his careful planning had amounted to nil. They were at an impasse. She refused to cooperate from the beginning and now with the loss of her unborn child, and the end of her friendship with Charlene—and from Charlene’s account, it was rather ugly—he failed to see any scenario under which she would become an ally or asset. For reasons he couldn’t fathom, she had not revealed to her husband that he was her father, and from the looks of things, she had no intention of doing so. He chuckled to himself at the irony because that was the only thing working in his favor.

  It didn’t mean he was in the clear, however. There was the existence of that damned diary, which was pure fiction and obviously came from the mind of a very disturbed young girl. He had no idea she was so ill or had written down these crazy stories, which she actually believed. Maybe if he had been home more often this wouldn’t have happened. She obviously needed his attention more than he realized. He traveled on business quite frequently and Theresa had her own career she was focused on. Constance did a decent job of taking care of both Nina and Cassie, but she was no substitute parent. When Nina left, he had one hell of a time explaining to Theresa why his older daughter left without saying goodbye and refused to speak to him or accept his calls.

  It wasn’t long after Nina left that he and Theresa called it quits. The marriage was dying a slow death that neither one of them wanted to be the first to admit. Once Nina was removed from the equation, there was a gaping hole in the family dynamic. There was no way to salvage the marriage and the only logical thing to do was end it. They had an amicable divorce and Cassie went to live with her mother in New York, then returned to Boston for college, where she had been ever since. It wasn’t lost on him that he had one daughter who worshipped him and another who despised him.

  But maybe all was not lost. An idea began to formulate in his head. Marc Kasai had unwittingly given him an opening. He picked up the phone on his desk and dialed the number he swiped from Nina’s smartphone when she had the miscarriage.

  * * *

  NINA WAS ADDING THE FINISHING touches to her appearance before she headed downstairs. Her dinner guests would arrive any minute and she needed to make sure she was present when they did. Marc wouldn’t reveal too much about the surprise guests, except to say Nina would be thrilled to see them. It had been a while since they had company. The past month had been spent in isolation and mourning, so Nina was looking forward to this evening, a chance to socialize and have a little fun. Marc was concerned about the falling out between Nina and Charlene and wanted to know if their friendship was really over, which he couldn’t grasp, because Charlene had always been part of their lives. Nina had alleviated his concern by informing him that the fight had been over a married man Charlene had been seeing. They’d sparred before in the past, and always made up. That explanation seemed to satisfy him and he hadn’t broached the subject since.

  Nina flung open the door, eager to welcome her dinner guests, and did a double take when she saw Geraldine.

  “Ravishing as always, darling,” Geraldine cooed.

  Nina didn’t know if she could take this. Why on earth would Marc invite her father to their home? Was this the night all her lies were going to come crashing down on her? Had Marc found out and planned to confront her tonight? Nah. Marc wasn’t the type. Something more sinister was at play here. Nina looked past Geraldine, expecting Phillip to materialize any minute.

  “He’s finishing up a conversation in the car. I keep telling him he should get a mobile phone surgically implanted in his ear. And don’t worry, Nina, your secret is safe with me.” Geraldine winked at her

  Nina was embarrassed. “He told you?”

  “I’ve known for some time, dear. After we had dinner at the Bristol Lounge, I figured you were the daughter he never wanted to discuss with me.”

  Nina remembered her manners. “You can go right in,” she said shakily. “I’ll wait for Phillip.”

  Nina lay in wait in the foyer and watched Phillip approach the door. He raised his hand to push the doorbell when she opened it.

  “You have some nerve showing up after what you did. Why are you here?”

  “Your husband thinks I’m a hero. He wanted to thank me for getting you to the hospital and letting him know what was going on. It wouldn’t be polite if I had turned him down.”

  “That’s because he’s a decent human being. Something you know nothing about.”

  “Don’t be a hypocrite. You’ve been lying to the man for years. What are you going to do when he finds out I’m your father?”

  “There’s no way I’m telling him that my father killed his son.”

  “Must you be so dramatic? I was in shock. Confused. It took me a while to collect my bearings.”

  “How would you feel if someone killed your son?” Nina threw out nonchalantly.

  Phillip averted his eyes and looked toward the staircase. “You have a very fertile imagination.”

  “Your denials are insulting. Tracy Forbes had your bastard child and you’ve kept it a secret. How much did you pay her to keep quiet about the fact she was underage when you got her pregnant? And you think you can become Governor with a long trail of despicable personal drama? This is a liberal state but voters will draw the line somewhere.”

  Marc interrupted before he got a chance to respond. “Get in here, you two. You’re not allowed to discuss business tonight.”

  “This isn’t over,” Nina whispered to Phillip.

 
Both couples sat down to dinner in the elegant dining room. All the flatware, stemware and dishware had been carefully selected. Nina broke out a bottle of 1989 Chateau Haut Brion and poured for her guests first. She had to be the perfect hostess, even under duress.

  “Thanks for accepting our invitation,” Marc said. “My wife and I wanted to express our thanks for getting her the medical attention she needed. This dinner is the very least we could do.”

  “It’s gratifying to see Nina has recovered,” Phillip said. “I hope this dinner isn’t uncomfortable for her.”

  “Nonsense,” Nina said, smoothing her dress. “Why would I be uncomfortable in my own home?”

  “You’ve been through a traumatic experience, dear,” Geraldine said. “Having dinner guests so soon might be a bit much.”

  “I don’t stay down for long, Geraldine. Soon I’ll be back to my old self, ready to take on the world.”

  “That’s the spirit.” Geraldine raised her glass. “To taking on the world.”

  Everyone clinked their glasses in a toast then dug into appetizers: stuffed mushrooms infused with garlic, bread crumbs, two types of cheese, mint leaves and a dash of cayenne pepper.

  “How are your parents, Marc?” Phillip asked.

  “You know my parents?” Marc was obviously surprised.

  “Not very well, but I hope that will change in time. I donate to Breast cancer research at Mass General Hospital. Your father heads up Neurosurgery, right?”

  “Yes, he does. I’m happy to make a formal introduction, if you’d like.”

  “I’m ahead of you on that score. Your father was kind enough to invite me to the anniversary celebration. As a matter of fact, I ran into your wife.”

  “Really? She didn’t mention it.”

  Nina wanted to kick Phillip under the table until he howled in agony. He was blatantly baiting her, trying to get her to make a mistake or lose her temper. He had turned on the charm full throttle, obviously for Marc’s benefit. It was nauseating. She didn’t know what arm-twisting he did to get her husband to invite him to their home, but it made Nina leery. She didn’t go through the trouble of keeping Phillip at a distance for over a decade only to have him invited into her private world.