“Shut it, you.” I chuckle.
“Never!” She grins and places her hands on her tummy. “Here, he wants to say hello to his uncle.” She grabs my hand and places it over her tummy and I feel a little kick. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all man, but fuck if it doesn’t bring anyone to their knees when they feel this.
“This is amazing.” I smile and rub her tummy softly. “I can’t wait to meet this little one.”
“Soon. You’re going to be a great dad someday, Aleck,” Ayd says softly, causing Ant and I to scoff. “What?” She looks between us confused.
“Nothing. Just wasn’t expecting you to say that.” I shrug.
“Sure, sure, you two are full of shit.” She glares at us and pouts.
“Do you want anything from the cafeteria, Sweet Cheeks?” Ant asks Ayd and her eyes light up.
“Hot cocoa and cake!” She grins wide and plants a big kiss on his lips.
“You got it.” He kisses her back. “Want anything brother?”
“No, I’m good.”
“Alright. Take care of my woman while I’m gone.” He narrows his eyes at me and leaves.
“Sit for a minute, Aleck,” Ayd tells me, patting the spot next to her on the bed.
“What’s up mama?” I chuckle.
“Smartass. How are you?”
“I’m good, why?” I look at her confused.
“Because you’ve been avoiding pretty much everybody that’s not hanging out at the compound 24/7. I know you haven’t talked to Charline in weeks, and same for me. I miss you, and well, yeah, I was wondering what was going on. Ant isn’t talking much when it comes to you guys’ problem so.” She shrugs.
“I’m fine Ayd, don’t worry about me. Just been busy with other stuff and club business. I miss you too though.” I rub her hand smiling. I do miss her, like crazy and Charline too.
“I know something is up, and I’ll find out what. You’re lucky Charline is loyal, she hasn’t told me any detail about what you two talked about. Not that I didn’t try, but damn it she’s not letting anything out.” She pouts and giggles.
“She hasn’t?” I look at her surprised. I thought she would have told Ayd. They’ve been best friends for so long that I thought they told each other everything.
“Nope, not a single word, and it’s driving me insane.”
I can’t help but laugh. “It’s nothing interesting anyway. Just why I don’t believe in relationships.” I shrug.
“You’re changing Aleck.” She grins softly.
“What do you mean?” I look at her confused, yet again.
“Well, usually you’d say you don’t want any relationship or anything to do with them. Now? It’s that you don’t believe in them. You’re growing. Soon enough, you’ll realize that you want one with someone. I’m proud of you.” She hugs me shocking me. I hadn’t realized I had gone from being dead set on not wanting a relationship to be open to the idea of having one with Charline.
“Well, don’t get your hopes too high okay? I’ve been doing some thinking and while it might have crossed my mind to have a relationship with Charline, I don’t think she would be able to handle my life and my past. I told her the truth, but left some stuff that I didn’t feel were right to share.” I sigh.
“Hey, it’s okay. At least you opened up a bit, it’s a step in the right direction. If you want Charline, you need to tell her.” She sighs looking down.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing it’s just…she’s been seeing someone.” She looks up at me and my heart stops. I guess I didn’t keep a close enough eye on her.
“How long?” I ask with a strained voice.
“Couple of weeks.”
“Great. Is she happy?” It’s not great, not at all…
“To be completely honest? I don’t think she really is happy. I think she was having fun in the beginning. She only had one other relationship before, and you. Well, not that anything happened with you, but you know what I mean. Then, she met that guy. He seems like a sweet guy, but something is off with him. He seems too perfect. Anyway, I think the novelty of the relationship has worn off and now she’s just in it out of habit and has no idea how to end things with him.”
“Not what I expected. Would have been so much easier if she were happy.” I rub my face.
“I know. You need to make up your mind and make your move if you want her.”
“I don’t want to hurt her. I don’t know how she would react knowing my entire story. How she would feel knowing what I’ve been through and what I’m still going through. It’s a lot to take, Ayd. I just want her to be happy and I don’t feel like I can give her that, that I don’t deserve her. I’m not innocent, I’ve killed people, I was a drug addict and the temptation to slip back into those old habits is still haunting me, every single day.” I take a shuddering breath.
“I still have nightmares about killing Michael, it’s getting better, but it’s still there. Some days, I feel like closing myself off and slipping into my scarred, damaged self, and not talk to anyone, not even to Ant, but he doesn’t let me, he forces me to talk about it and it does help. It’s never pretty, I always end up in tears because I’m facing the emotions, bringing them to the surface, but you need to let someone in. Someone other than my father or Ant. Charline is much stronger than you give her credit for. She’s not a little girl anymore either. She’s a grown woman who still has feelings for you and probably always will, you were her first love. You’ll always be important to her, and even if you open up and tell her your full story, all you did and all that happened, as a friend, she’ll listen to you. It might be confusing and hard, but she will be there for you no matter what. She just wants her friend back in her life. Think about all of it.” She squeezes my hand and I’m speechless. I have no idea what to think of all of this. Should I really open up to Charline and tell her absolutely everything that’s happened to me? A part of me wants to open up and tell her everything, but I don’t want to scare her away.
“I will think about it. Thanks, Sweetheart.” I kiss her forehead.
“Stop kissing my woman Aleck,” Ant says from behind me causing me and Ayd to laugh.
“She started it.” I get up and hold my hands up.
“What’s with you and Gabe never owning to the fact that you can’t keep your lips to yourselves. Pussies!” She makes grabbing hands for the cake. “Gimme. Gimme. Gimme.”
Ant and I both laugh. “Alright, calm down. You’re acting like you haven’t had food in days.” He gives her a container and she squeals seeing her mom’s famous red velvet donuts.
“Just a couple of hours, and you didn’t!” She squeals.
“Seriously? Did you really think I’d give you hospital food?” He raises his eyebrow at her.
“Well, you did mention the cafeteria.” She shrugs and moans taking a bite of donut. “Heaven!”
“Stop moaning like that, Sweet Cheeks.” Ant glares at her and we both laugh.
“I’m gonna let you two get some rest.” I man hug him and pat his back and he reciprocate.
“Thanks, Brother.”
Ayd is too busy eating her donut, she waves at me and blows me a kiss. “See you later, Sweetheart. Call me if you need anything.” I smile and walk out the door, to the elevator.
Just as I’m about to step in to the elevator, Charline and some guy step out of it.
“Aleck. It’s been a while.” She smiles seeing me and wraps me in a tight hug. I don’t stop myself from hugging her back, which the guy doesn’t seem to appreciate at all. I can’t help but smirk at him and kiss the top of Charline’s head.
“It has, Line. How have you been?” I smile looking down at her. She’s even more beautiful than the last time I saw her, a couple of months ago.
“I’ve been good, just busy getting ready to start in a new school in August. And you?” She smiles at me and my heart stops.
“I’ve been good, very busy.” I try to smile, but having that fucking guy next to me
isn’t making me happy. I know I wanted her to be in a relationship with a nice guy that could give her all the things I couldn’t, but fuck this. “Can I talk to you in private for a minute?” It’s now or never.
“Uh, sure. I’ll be quick.” She smiles at the guy.
“Don’t be too long, I have to get to work after we see your friend,” he says in a rather dry tone.
“I said I’d be quick.” She rolls her eyes, clearly not happy with his attitude and if we hadn’t been in public, I’d have kicked his ass for being a dick to her. We walk to a small waiting room and I turn to her.
“What are you doing with a guy like him?” Probably not the thing to say seeing the look on her face.
“What do you mean? I thought you wanted me with a guy who had a normal job and could give me what I deserved?” She’s pissed…and very hot! Fuck me!
“I know what I said, and I changed my mind. That guy looks like a fucking asshole, and I didn’t like the way he talked to you.” I frown.
“I didn’t either, but you don’t get to say who I can and can’t date. And you don’t get to change your mind about me as soon as you see me with someone else. This is what you wanted.” She pokes me in the chest.
“I’m not telling you what to do, just offering my opinion.” I shrug.
“I don’t need your opinion, Aleck, you had your chance and you turned your back on it, more than once. Don’t come complaining now that I’m in a relationship. You only want me because I’m in one. Which if you ask me, is fucked up and stupid.”
“That’s not true, ask Ayden, we were just talking about it. There’s more to my story than what I told you at Christmas. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you everything. I’m not a saint, Line, my past is messed up. I can’t help myself, I know I’m not the right guy for you, but I’m selfish and I want you. Even if it kills me, I want you,” I finish softly.
“I…” She sighs. “I should go, Aleck. I’ll keep in mind what you said, but I need some time to think about all of this. I haven’t seen you in months and now you’re dropping all of this on me. When that’s all I wanted to hear, for years.”
“What can I say? I’m stubborn.” I shrug.
“Stubborn? That’s worse than being stubborn.”
“Okay, I’m a coward. It’s bad timing me telling you all of this when you are in a relationship, but I literally just found out from Ayden a couple of minutes ago, ask her and you’ll see.” I can’t help but get myself all worked up. I hate that she has this power over me.
“Calm down, Sanford!” She glares at me and hugs me. “God, I’ve missed you.”
I sigh happily. “I’ve missed you too, Love.” I kiss her forehead and caress down her back softly. I’ve missed you more than you could ever imagine.
“I really should get going, I’ll see you around. Please, don’t be a stranger and stop avoiding me!” She pokes my chest with her perfectly manicured fingers. I grab her hand and kiss each knuckle.
“I promise I won’t. You’ll see me so often you’ll get sick of it.” I grin and wink at her.
“Never.” She stands on her toes and kisses the corner of my lips. My dick jumps to attention. Fuck me!
She walks out of the waiting room and waves at me. I smile at her and stare at the spot where she was just standing like a fucking fool. The things she does to me…
Even if I didn’t show her how hurt and pissed I was, I’m fucking losing my mind over the fact that she’s dating that fucking asshole. I know I’m the one who told her she should date someone normal, but fuck if it didn’t hurt to see her with another guy. Especially when she clearly wasn’t happy with the way he was treating her, but that doesn’t change the fact that she goes home with him and not me. I should have told her sooner. I need to prove to her that I’m serious and want her in my life…permanently, and not because she’s now taken. Sure it’s sped things up, but that’s because it’s made me realized how much I actually do like and need her in my life. I just hope she will be able to handle my past and not run away forever...
CHAPTER 11
Charline
Talk about awkward moment. Seeing Aleck when I was with Brian wasn’t something I was expecting. I thought he was out of town or something since he’s never around anymore. I guess I was wrong. It felt good to see him again and be in his arms, even if it was just for a couple of seconds.
I feel bad feeling happy in another man’s arms than the ones of my boyfriend, but I just can’t help my body’s reaction to Aleck. He has a unique pull on me and no matter what, he will always have.
Things aren’t as perfect as they seem with Brian. He’s not a bad man, he’s a perfect gentleman, very sweet, funny, smart and has a nice toned body. He sounds like the perfect combo, but things aren’t just as exciting as they were in the beginning. I really enjoyed being with him at the start. Things were fun and good, but now¸ we've fallen into a routine and I just don’t feel as into him as I used to. I have no idea how to break it to him. I’ve never had to do that, and I’d rather have him dump me than the other way around, but I’ll have to do it eventually.
The sight of Aleck confused the hell out of me, but with what he had to say? I’m downright lost. One minute he doesn’t want a relationship at all, and now he tells me he’s been thinking about giving us a chance. Way to give me emotional whiplash. He’s worse than a woman sometimes. I chuckle to myself.
“What’s so funny, Love?” I look up at Brian who’s still standing by the elevators.
“Nothing, just lost in my thoughts.” I join him and we walk to Ayd’s room.
“What were you thinking about?” He looks at me, pressing me to answer.
“Just something that crossed my mind, nothing important.” I shrug.
“If it’s not important, tell me.”
“Look, I’m not going to tell you every single thing that crosses my mind. You’re going to think I’m crazy if I tell you half the things that cross my mind. So just drop it.”
“It’s that guy isn’t it? It’s Aleck.” He glares at me.
“I’ve known Aleck for seven years or so now, I haven’t seen him in months, since we started dating actually, so don’t bring him into the middle of this. It was good to see him and catch up with him, and I hope to be able to hang out with my friend more now that he’s back in town.” Technically not a lie, right?
“This is not over,” he whispers loudly before we walk into Ayden’s room.
“Whatever,” I mutter.
I wish Brian would leave me alone so I could talk to Ayd, I could use her opinion on the mess that I’m in, but with him around, it’s not possible. I can’t possibly tell him to get lost because I want to talk about the guy he’s jealous about. I don’t think it would go down well.
We stay for a while, visiting Ayden, but she’s getting pretty tired so we leave early.
We get into Brian’s car, and he starts his twenty questions right away. “Did you and Aleck ever date?”
“Where is this coming from?” I look at him.
“Just answer the question.” He sighs, irritated.
“No, we never dated.” I’m getting irritated too.
“Don’t use that tone with me.”
“Woah, buddy, you were the one being all pissy about this situation, so think about what you say before telling me what to do.”
He sighs. “I’m sorry, I don’t like the guy.”
“Oh, come on now! We’ve been friends for years, nothing ever happened between us. So stop being jealous. It’s more annoying than endearing.” I roll my eyes.
“I’m sorry, Love, I just don’t want him to come between us. I love you.”
“He’s not, so stop stressing out.”
“You’re still not able to say it back.”
“I’m sorry, I like you a lot, but it takes me more time to say it.” I shrug. I feel like the roles are reversed and I’m the one not wanting a relationship. This is awkward. I like Brian, but I’m not in love with him. I can’t for
ce myself to fall in love with him.
“It’s okay, I’ll be patient.” He smiles and squeezes my hand. Please dump me!
“Thanks for understanding.” I smile softly.
“It’s normal.” We spend the rest of the drive home in silence, listening to the radio. I’m glad we live close to everything here.
“Be safe during your shift.” I smile before I get out of the car, but he stops me.
“Aren’t you forgetting something?” He grins at me.
“Uh, what?” I look at him confused.
“This.” He tugs on my arm, bringing me closer to him and kisses me passionately. I kiss him back, not really into the kiss, but I don’t want him to notice it. I feel so bad right now. “Much better. If you need anything call me, okay?”
“I will. Have a good shift.” I smile and walk to my door, unlocking it. I wave at him before he drives away.
I hate this situation I got myself in. On one hand, I have Brian who’s my loving and caring boyfriend, who’s been nothing but the perfect gentleman for months now, but I can’t seem to fall in love with; and on the other hand, I have Aleck, total bad boy who’s been sent out to torture me since the first day we met. He’s afraid of commitment and didn’t used to want relationships and now he does. Way to confuse the hell out of me.
Logic tells me I should be with Brian, that he’s the perfect guy with a great job, he’s emotionally and financially stable, but our relationship is lacking passion. Then there’s Aleck, he’s everything I shouldn’t want, but he is everything I need. He’s been into illegal stuff for years, probably hurt or even killed a few people; he fucks anything with tits and ass, and is so emotionally damaged. I have no idea if he even has a regular job, but when Aleck and I are in the same room, it’s electric, there’s so much tension in the room that you could cut it with a knife.
I need to make up my mind and figure out whom to choose. Maybe I should just say fuck it to both of them and be on my own. That’d be a lot less complicated. How I miss those days where boy problems were me trying to stay as far away from them as possible because they had cooties…
Teaching Aleck Page 8