New Sensations

by Lee, Lenise

  He leaned down and received me into his embrace while I latched my legs around his sturdy waist, determined to never let him go again. Jackson swung me around while burly arms clamped around me like steel. I rained kisses all over his face and forehead, the excitement of my hurried affection knocking his hat from his head and down to the floor below.

  “Jackson!” I exclaimed, pulling back only enough to take in the striking features of his face. Bright blue eyes, half a shade away from being silver, stared back at me, full of tenderness.

  “Janay…pretty lady,” he crooned, his pet name for me rolled from his tongue like sugar, igniting my internal flame once again.

  This is what I had been longing for. The nagging and ache in my chest was fleeing rapidly with each new second that Jackson and I were in one another’s arms. A sense of wholeness and passion was filling the void that had tried to make a home in my soul.

  “I missed you…so much.”

  The words escaped at the same time as I glided my lips over his own, elated at being able to recapture his sensuous taste on my mouth. When I released his lips and tangled my fingers in the loose curls of his hair – another sensation I had desperately missed feeling – Jackson touched his brow to mine.

  “I missed you too, baby,” he breathed out slow and then inhaled a lungful of my scent. “It’s so damn good to see your beautiful face again and to have you in my arms.”

  He hugged me closer still until we were flat against one another, our rapid heartbeats pounding in perfect sync. One week ago, I had returned to the town where I had spent nearly my entire life living and existing, but only right now – being caressed and adored by the man that I loved and who I hoped loved me in return – did I actually feel as if I had finally made it home, my real home.

  “Janay, darling,” a timid male voice spoke in our direction.

  It was Alberto. I had completely forgotten that he and Rita were standing there.

  “Rita and I are going to give you two a little time alone. We’ll see you at work tomorrow,” he said while simultaneously turning away and hooking his arm through Rita’s to motivate her to do the same.

  “Janay,” Rita’s small voice spoke up, “have fun.”

  She smiled at us and I felt as if her well wishing was truly genuine.

  “Jackson,” she continued and his eyes went over to her, “it’s nice to see you again. Take care of my friend.”

  “I always will.” He nodded at her and offered a polite grin.

  When Rita and Alberto were out of sight, I reluctantly climbed down out of Jackson’s arms and quickly unlocked my door to pull him in behind me and settle on the sofa in my TV room.

  “What are you doing here?”

  I asked the question while I was nestled on his lap, staring up into his exotic blue lenses.

  “What’s the matter? Not happy to see me?” he teased.

  “You know I am,” I playfully rolled my eyes, “I’m just wondering how you knew where to find me.”

  Those rosy pink lips lifted into an alluring smile.

  “You ever heard of a reverse search?”

  I had. I smiled at his mischievousness.

  “From the look on your face, I take it that you have,” he laughed low. “Well since I already had your phone number and I already knew the name of your town, all I didn’t know was your exact address.”

  Jackson squinted his eyes and lowered his brow.

  “Auntie Bea told me to make sure you knew she helped me to find that info and the directions of how to make it here from the airport. She said you would know what I was talkin’ about when I said that.”

  And I did. Sweet Aunt Beatrice had made good on her promise to hunt me down if I ever left her beloved nephew high and dry.

  “Yeah, I do. On the first day she and I met, Aunt Bea assured me that she would find me no matter where I went if I ever went missing from your life.”

  Jackson laughed and then his mood sobered. He shifted on the couch and then settled back down, his arms still fastened around me.

  “Yup, sounds exactly like how my auntie would think. Speakin’ of that subject…I tried to call you a bunch of times, sent you a few messages, and I didn’t hear a word back.”

  His voice trailed off, leaving the ball in my court to offer an answer for my lack of communication after he had made several attempts to contact me. My reason was firmly planted in my mind, yet not so easy to form into a sentence that would lessen my guilt for seemingly abandoning him the moment we had parted ways.

  I breathed in slow and found the courage to say the difficult confession.

  “Jackson…I…I thought that if I left you alone…it would make it a little easier for you to find someone new…a new girl.”

  His jaw flinched again. He sat in silence waiting for me to continue.

  “I honestly believed that would be the best way to end our relationship. I wanted you to have a normal and happy life. I didn’t want to hold you back from restoring family’s businesses.”

  Thick, long fingers touched my cheek and urged me to look at him. I had turned my face away out of shame. This was the second time that Jackson had made the overwhelming effort to search for me so that we could be together and I hadn’t even had the decency to return his phone call.

  “Janay, there is…no…other...woman…for me,” he said the declaration slowly, I could hear the emotion welling up in his chest, “Don’t ever think that I could have a happy life without you…not anymore…not now that I know a woman as sweet and pure and loving as you exists. I want you with me…always, Janay.”

  Jackson ran his thumb across my quivering bottom lip.

  “But…what about your uncle and what he said…I don’t want you to lose your bar because of me.”

  “Chett is blood but he isn’t family. My pa already knew that before he passed on. All of our businesses are community oriented. My father wouldn’t sacrifice his morals for the sake of making his bank account richer and neither will I. Ma and the rest of us will make do, like we always have…as a family…united through all types of trouble.”

  I nodded that I understood, and wished that I could one day have a bond that strong with my mother, whom I hadn’t heard a sound from in many days.

  “Thank you for not hating me and what I did to you,” I whispered.

  “I could never hate you, sweet lady. In fact, I was a fool to let you go without tellin’ you that I loved you,” Jackson kissed the palm of my hand and then touched it to his warm cheek. “I guess I was afraid that you didn’t love me back.”

  “I do…oh, God…Jackson, I do love you,” my arms pulled him closer; my fingers clung to the muscles beneath the back of his shirt.

  “Janay, there isn’t anywhere in this world that I wouldn’t go to find you,” he spoke into my hair, his voice full of urgency. “Please tell me this isn’t the end. I need you in my life. I promise I won’t let another day go by without me tellin’ you how much I love you.”

  Two weeks ago, I was a girl who was intimidated by my own reflection. I met a man who opened my eyes to an entirely new outlook on life and love. One week ago, I left the better half of my soul in Montana. I was afraid of how the people who were closest to me and to my lover would judge our union. Today, I am a woman who is done with living in fear of criticism and the ignorance of others. Today, I am Jackson Bryant’s woman and I would gladly leave behind everything that I know and everyone whom I thought I knew to be with the man that I love. From this moment forward, I would love Jackson with all my heart and, if necessary, fiercely protect our bond against any nay-sayers.

  I kissed him deeply and poured out all of my passion and longing into him. After some mean tugging of clothes and shoes being frantically kicked to the side, when my slick pussylips slipped over his throbbing and rock hard cock, our reunion was re-consummated by the sizzling explosion of our unified eruptions.

  Jackson and I were one and as one we would face the challenges ahead of us.

  Jackso
n changed his ticket to the following Saturday morning so that I could reserve a seat on the same flight back to the city closest to Crystal Springs.

  I gave my extremely short resignation notice to my supervisor the next morning. He had a stunned expression on his face but made no comment regarding my reason stated in the letter. To pursue a new opportunity in life, is how I phrased my explanation in the signed draft that I placed on his desk.

  Rita and Alberto were both far from surprised. Alberto wished me much happiness and insisted that I invite him for a visit sometime during the upcoming summer months. Rita tearfully hugged me goodbye and told me that she would miss having a friend that had been as understanding and kind to her as I had been, despite her flaws.

  Saturday morning, as Jackson and I moved slowly up the causeway of northern New Jersey’s international airport, I heard what sounded like someone calling my name. This part of the building was overcrowded and I could have easily been mistaken.

  “Janay…wait…Janay,” was what I heard filter in through my straining ears for a second time. This time the voice was louder as if the caller was closer and coming up from somewhere behind me.

  I looked over my shoulder and Jackson instinctively turned around too.

  Of all people that I could have imagined jogging at full speed in a tank top, a pair of jeans and walking shoes, Leshaune Vasquez Parker would not have been at the top of my list. My mother was flaling her arms in the air and moving at top speed on her slim legs.

  “Janay…over here…wait.”

  I stopped moving forward and stood waiting for her to arrive.

  After another minute of squeezing through the lively throng of soon to be flyers, Mother was standing in front of me trying to catch her breath.

  “Janay, I’m so glad I didn’t miss you,” she said when she gathered the air back into her lungs.

  “Mother, how did you know I was here?”

  “Rita told me. I tried to call you this morning. I wanted to come by and see you since I had not heard from you since the dinner. When I only reached your voicemail, I was worried so I called her. She told me you were leaving today.”

  “Yes, mother, I am.”

  I angled my head over to Jackson, who watched our exchange in polite silence.

  “Mother, this is Jackson Bryant.”

  Jackson tipped his hat forward.

  “Please to make your aquaintance, ma’am.”

  “Likewise,” Mother said in a low voice.

  “I’m going with him to Montana and I won’t be coming back this way for awhile, at least not until we get settled and I help him with working on some important business dealings.”

  Mother looked from me and over to Jackson and then back to me. Her expression was unreadable as she studied my face for whatever answer she was searching out.

  “Janay, are you sure about this?”

  I saw Jackson’s motion from the corner of my eye. I had previously told him about the last conversation that my mother and I had and the terms under which we had parted. He had encouraged me to reach out to her before we left but also stated that he understood and it was my call to make in my own good time and when I was ready to do so.

  “Janay, I think I better allow you and your ma a moment of privacy.”

  “No, stay. You brought me into your family with open arms. You didn’t hide their quirks and I want to do the same with you.”

  Jackson remained where he was and his tender blue eyes were encouraging as he tilted his head toward me.

  “Mother, this is the man that I love and who I want to share my life with. I would want you to be happy for me but…if you’re not…it won’t change my mind.”

  I was prepared to hold my ground long enough to wish her well before I went on my journey; however, I would not apologize for following my heart and my instincts.

  “I understand,” her smile was faint, “Believe it or not, I am happy for you. If you have found someone who loves you as much as you say and it’s obvious you feel the same for him, that is all I have ever wanted for you. Happiness.”

  She cleared her throat before continuing.

  “Janay, I know that I have not been the best at displaying my affection for you. You were always a daddy’s girl and I envied the relationship that you and your father shared. But never…and I mean never, think that I don’t cherish having you as my daugher. I have loved you like my own from the day I took your tiny body into my arms, all wrapped up in receiving blankets.” Mother opened her palms to gesture at holding an object – a baby – carefully in her arms. “You were so small and I was worried that I would hurt you. I worried every day since then that I wasn’t doing my job as your mother…as your mom, well enough. After the dinner at my house, I could see that I was right about that part. I was wrong to call you and…your…boyfriend, those awful words. I apologize for that, truly I do. You are my daughter, Janay, even if we don’t share the same DNA…you’re my daughter, and you are already perfect in my eyes. I love you and only ever want what is best for you, and I guess I went overboard in how I tried to make that happen. If being with the man you love and who loves you back is what you truly want out of life…and I can see by the determination on your face that it is…then I wish you two only many years of bliss together.”

  “Do you really mean that, Mother?”

  I wanted to believe the truth in what she had said. I wanted to believe that my mother loved me the way that she said she did and that I wasn’t a disappointment to her.

  “I do, Janay. Remember, no matter how old you get and or where you go, you’ll always be my little girl.”

  I pulled her into my arms and heaved out tears of joy on her slim shoulder. My mother loved me and I didn’t feel like an unwanted orphan anymore.

  After another handful of sobs while she clasped me tight, trying her best to make up for years of missed hugs and restrained expressions of her full affection, Mother slowly pulled back. She kissed my nose and wiped my tearstained cheeks.

  “You two better get going. I don’t want you to miss your flight.”

  Jackson, who had been patiently waiting alongside of us, took hold of my hand.

  “Goodbye, ma’am, I’ll make sure your daughter is always taken care of.”

  Mother nodded her acknowledgment and sniffed once more.

  “Make sure you do, Jackson.”

  “I’ll call you as soon as we touch down, Mom.”

  Her face brightened.

  “I look forward to your call.”

  We both knew this was the first time I had ever called her by that endearing term. Though she and I were going in separate directions, a thousand miles apart, our renewed relationship was off to a promising start. From some bright place, I was confident that my dad was smiling about my mom and I reaching this hopeful resolution.

  Jackson and I started up the terminal again, hands clasped, toward our awaiting departure and on to a brave new world – together.

  Epilogue

  Three exciting and tenacious months later and the crowd outside of the bar surged in anticipation as Jackson and I cut the yellow ribbon for the grand reopening.

  The New Crystal Springs Bar & Lounge was what the pristine and illuminated sign over the sturdy and solid oak door read. Jackson’s hometown proved to be his greatest ally in refurbishing his father’s establishment and paying off the lingering debt on the property. After a townhall meeting to discuss the sour state of the local economy, the residents of the tight-knit community volunteered service and materials to restore both the exterior and interior of the bar, as well as held several fund raisers to pay down the back taxes.

  Rita and Alberto called to show their support as well. Both offered to volunteer their time to help construct an ad campaign to revitalize tourism through the valley. The duo, thicker than thieves since my exodus, would be flying down at the end of the month to help plan out our endevours for the invigorating my town. They would be bringing my mom along with them and I just couldn’t wai
t for her to meet up with Jackson’s clan. Leshaune and Annie were refined women and would have no problems getting along. I was more interested in seeing the priceless and stunned look that was sure to make an appearance on my mother’s face when she encountered the Pratt’s – Bea and Ritchie. I giggled to myself at the outcome of that particular get-together.

  I sat on the stool next to Jackson and shared a few laughs with him as the patrons filed in through the door and filled up the space. The first round of drinks was going to be on the house – courtesy of the owners – and there wasn’t a dry tongue within five miles that was willing to miss out on such a treat.

  The music started up and the door remained propped open. Sunlight and fresh air poured in, as more folks stepped inside. Dancing couples pranced across whatever empty space they could find. Harry and Annie poured drinks from behind the bar – as a newly instated House Rule, only sparkling cider for John Junior, which he sipped slowly – while Bea and Ritchie argued back and forth over how long the mesquite barbeque sauce should simmer.

  Thirty minutes into the celebration, when the place was in full swing, Jackson turned to Harry and signalled him with two fingers held up in the air. I watched the action, but was nonethewiser as I drank from my own glass – Harry’s Lemon Drop Surprise. The snappy tune over the speakers dimmed and the massive crowd fell into a hush. Jackson placed my hands in his and turned me faceforward so that I was peering out at the crowd behind him. I threw my hands up to my mouth the instant he bent his large body down to one knee.

  “Janay Parker…I love you,” his cool blue eyes were shimmering up at me, “I think I have since the second you stepped across that threshold. I should have asked you this the day we were up at the spring but I’m askin’ you now…will you marry me?”

  He swallowed hard and I could have sworn the entire crowd leaned in just a little closer to hear my answer to his life changing question.

  A tear slipped over my cheek, then another, followed by several more in long hot streams on both sides. I was crying again, probably blubbering too.