To Love a Soldier

by Sophie Monroe

  “Holy, fuck me.” I sat up. “I just had the worst dream!”

  “Yeah, no kidding. I just told you that you woke me up with your yelling.”

  “I’m so sorry. Go back to bed. I’m fine.”

  “Are you sure? I can stay up if you need to talk.”

  “No, really. I’m fine.” I pushed her gently off the side of the couch, insisting she go back to sleep. “I’ll tell you about it in the morning.”

  “Okay, night,” she said, heading upstairs. “I hope you have better dreams this time.”

  I couldn’t go back to sleep. I was so fucking pissed at John. Of course, it was John in my dream, but right now, that didn’t matter. I let the little devil voice in my head get the best of me and plant the seed. I grabbed my cell phone and looked. No, no missed calls and no recent calls with John. It’s like I wasn’t believing reality. I checked the time and it was six o’clock.

  Figuring at this point I should just get up, I stretched a little and got off the couch. As I was folding my blanket, I began to feel sick. Wow, this getting sick all the time sucks. I ran to the bathroom and completed what I guessed was my new routine for the next several months. After cleaning up, I headed to the kitchen and started getting some things ready to make breakfast for Liz for when she came back down.

  I started to calm down and think more rationally. I considered ways I could spring the news on John. I swear, if he acts like he did in my dream, I will hunt him down and have his balls. A few minutes later, Liz came waltzing downstairs.

  “I can’t sleep, either,” she said sheepishly, walking into the kitchen.

  “Lucky us,” I said. “So listen, I have a few ideas of how I want to tell John the news and I want your opinion.”

  Making a half-ass breakfast for Liz and I, I began filling her in on my plans. She was going to be part of it. I just had to go shopping for a few things for my favorite scenario. After running it past her, she thought it was the better of my ideas and it was settled. Later today would be a trip to the mall. My mood changed and I decided breakfast would be good after all. I made myself a little with Liz’s and we sat down to eat.

  “So, be honest with me. How do you think John will handle the news?” I asked, needing to know.

  “He’s probably going to get upset, and call you names, and then hang up on you,” Liz said, laughing.

  I tossed a piece of burnt toast at her. “Listen, bitch. That dream was not funny!”

  “Oh, come on, you need to relax. John’s going to be really happy.”

  “How can you be sure?” I asked.

  “I don’t know. I’m just saying that to shut you up.”

  “You’re such a bitch.”

  “No, seriously,” Liz said, stuffing scrambled eggs in her mouth. “I know John wants children. Of course, it wasn’t until he was older…” She laughed again. “But listen, if he’s so into you now that he decided not to pursue his military career like he originally planned, I’m going to take a guess that the news won’t be so bad to him.”

  “You mean that?”

  “Yes, I do. Just be glad John’s able to put in for leave. Think of how many other women are military wives and don’t get to have their husband’s home for months at a time and miss entire pregnancies and births.”

  “Yeah, I guess you’ve got a point.”

  “I know I do. Now that you’re building a perfect, little family, I need to excuse myself to make a call to make sure my boyfriend is still alive. Heck, I’d like children someday, too,” Liz said, grabbing her cell phone from her pocket. “Thanks for breakfast, girl.”

  “You’re welcome. Thanks for listening.”

  She left the room to make her phone call. I started clearing the table and found myself not only finishing everything on my plate, but picking at Liz’s leftover food off of her plate as well, including the piece of burnt toast I had used as a weapon. Placing the plates and silverware into the sink, I searched the fridge for something to drink. I was hard pressed to find anything that hadn’t expired. There was also no way in hell that I was even going to test smell the milk because I knew it would send me to the bathroom, forcing me to give up my breakfast. I shuffled some containers around and found some orange juice. There was only a splash left at the bottom, but at least I knew it wasn’t too old. I grabbed it, closing the fridge door.

  “Boo!” Liz yelled.

  I tossed my orange juice container in the air and yelped. She started laughing.

  “I’m sorry. I had to, though.”

  “You’re not supposed to do that to pregnant women. You could cause them to go into labor!” I yelled.

  Liz laughed even harder. “Are you kidding me, Mandy?” She could barely get the words out this time, as she was laughing so hard. “You literally just found out you’re pregnant and you’re worried it could pop out if you’re startled?”

  I waited for her to stop laughing because talking to her now would be a moot point. I kept looking up and giving her my fake stink eye. I loved her and the fact that we could completely rip each other apart and laugh about it was great. I realized, after I said it, that it was pretty stupid, so I just kept smirking and giving her a look until she finally finished laughing.

  “Are you done?” I asked, raising one eyebrow. “I hope you didn’t pee your pants or anything.”

  “No, I’m done.” She let out one last chuckle. “So, Brady is awake and doing good.”

  “That is so great!” I gave her a hearty hug.

  “Yeah, he actually answered his phone. He’s in some pain, but he’s alive.”

  “It’s the latter part that’s important,” I said. “Let’s get cleaned up and we’ll go visit him. Then you can stay if you want and I’ll go do my shopping alone.”

  “It’ll be a while before visiting hours, but I’m sure we could get in earlier to visit him. My mom said that he’ll be doing a lot of sleeping because of the painkillers and meds he’s on, so I don’t plan on being there real long if you can wait. I don’t want you to shop alone; we can go together.”

  “Whatever you want to do. I have all day. Did your mom mention anything about what’s going on at your house?” I asked.

  “Yeah, they’re actually still there, but they’re wrapping up the investigation. She also mentioned that the one detective was all pissed that he went to the hospital looking for me for more questioning.”

  “Oh, shit. We promised we’d stay there specifically for that reason.”

  “I know,” she said. “But I really don’t give a shit. They can find me. I have enough going on that I’m not concerned about someone getting pissed that I forgot to do something. Besides, they have my cell number and never called, so it couldn’t have been that important.”

  “Good point. Hey, are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m good.”

  “No, I mean about the whole crazy shit storm that went down last night. Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “I’m positive. Look, the whole thing before last night was fucking with my head big time, but last night trumped it. The fact that it’s over, I think, is making coping much easier.”

  “Yeah, I get that. It took me years to get over the fear of him coming back for me again.”

  “Right. Even with Brady around or John when he was here, it didn’t matter. I was always looking over my shoulder and wondering if and when he’d be back.”

  “All right, just know that if you need to talk about anything, at all, I’m here for you.”

  “I already know that, bitch.”

  We hugged again and I felt so lucky that I was gaining a sister out of the deal, too. “I’m going to head up and take a shower, unless you want to go first?” I asked.

  “No, that’s cool. I’ll do the dishes for you.”

  We both took our time getting ready. I kept fighting the urge to repeatedly ask her if she was okay. I did know she would tell me, and she was convincing about it, so I dropped it. Instead, I decided to occupy my mind with baby names. A while
later, we were set and on our way to the hospital.

  “Do you think he’ll let us see the knife hole?” I asked.

  “You mean the stitches?”

  “No, the hole where he got stabbed.”

  “Okay, Mandy. You realize that they stitched him up, right? Because if they let him keep a cool knife hole, he’d be dead right now.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. Sometimes, I don’t think at all. My mind forgets to process and words just leave my mouth. It’s almost like my brain to mouth filter is busted; if there was even one there to begin with.

  “Yeah, yeah. I know. I meant can we see the stitches?” I said, in a failed attempt to cover my idiocy.

  “Since you clearly can’t wait until summertime to see my boyfriend’s abs, I guess I’ll ask him if you can see them.”

  “Oh, shut up. I have your brother’s to look at and damn, he is ripped.” I said with a sigh.

  “Eww.” She cringed. “Let’s stop this right here.”

  “Okay, I’ll change topics. There’s a bunch of baby names that I like. Has John ever mentioned any names ever?”

  She started laughing at me, again! “Holy shit, Mandy! You’re killing me today.”

  “What? Why?” I said. “I wasn’t joking.”

  “I know you weren’t, but it’s not like Mr. Military sat me down one day and said ‘in between showing you how to field assemble a gun and how to survive on berries in nature, I’d like to discuss what names I would like if I were to ever have children.’”

  “Fine, I get it. I’ll just let him know what names I like for boys and girls, then find out if he likes any, and then I’ll cross reference that with my I don’t give a shit list.” We were both cracking up, but my feelings were slightly hurt.

  “Oh, come on,” Liz said, while continuing to laugh. “Don’t get all upset about it.”

  “I’m not,” I assured her, even though I was a little upset. Stupid emotions. “Let’s go see your boy toy.”

  As we got in the car, I cranked the radio, rolled the windows down and headed toward the hospital. The ride was silent. Neither of us having much to say for once. Once I found a parking spot in the visitor’s section we both took a deep breath, not quite knowing what to expect. Even though he was alive, it was going to be difficult for her to see him bedridden with tubes sticking out of him.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Recovery For Two

  Liz

  As Mandy and I made our way to the recovery unit, I hoped to run into one of my mother’s friends who could help get us past security and break the visitation rules. Scanning the area, I looked for a familiar face but didn’t see anyone.

  “Oh, well, we’re just going to have to get past security,” I said.

  “Don’t you know anyone?” Mandy asked.

  “Nope, I don’t work here,” I said, sarcastically. “And I didn’t see anyone I might recognize who’s friends with my mom.”

  “Gotcha. Well, I did my makeup really good today if you need me to use the flirt.”

  “The flirt?” I laughed.

  “Yeah, you know. The flirt. Where I get stupid boys to do almost anything I want just by being nice to them and giving them a smile.”

  “Yeah, I get it. Boys are stupid. But what makes you think I can’t flirt my way past?” I asked her.

  “Oh, sweetie, I’m sure you could at a restaurant or something minor league like that, but this is the majors. When it comes to police or security, just let me handle business,” she said, straight- faced and smug.

  “You’re unbelievable,” I said, shaking my head. “But fine, do your thang, Eye Candy Mandy.”

  We walked to the security desk, seeing no other way to get to the recovery section. There was one guard sitting at the desk, reading a newspaper. He looked to be in his mid-40’s. Lowering his paper, he watched as we walked up to the desk.

  “Visiting hours are not for another hour and a half, ladies.” He raised the newspaper back up to his face.

  Mandy and I looked at each other. Oh boy, this was going to be a challenge. There was no way she was going to be able to pull this off.

  “All you,” I said, smirking and nodding my head at her.

  She closed in on the desk. I saw her pull down her top down slightly and adjust her boobs. I don’t know how she does this! She gently placed her manicured hand over his newspaper and lowered it down.

  “I know you have rules,” she said to him. “But my friend here has a boyfriend who was hurt real bad last night and it sure would mean a lot to me if you could let us go see him.”

  “I can’t, ma’am,” the guard said. “I’m sorry.”

  “I understand,” Mandy replied. I noticed her voice change to a more seductive tone. Damn, she’s good. “I don’t have a boyfriend, so I can do whatever or whomever I want.” She ran her tongue gently over her top lip and winked at me. “But I could only imagine how scared this poor girl is, not being able to see him in person since he got hurt." Leaning over the counter, she exposed her cleavage.

  “Yeah, I understand that,” the guard said, staring in awe at her fabulous rack. She leaned even further, practically pushing her boobs in his face, and reached her other hand out, sliding a finger down his cheek.

  “So, you’ll do me this favor and let us in, right.” Mandy didn’t even say it as a question; she pretty much was telling him what he was going to do and with any hope he would.

  “Yeah, of course,” the guard said, pressing the buzzer to unlock the doors. “Just this once, though. And if you get caught, you snuck in while I was in the bathroom.”

  She grabbed my arm and pulled me away. The security guard was not the only one in awe. I couldn’t believe how she just controlled him like a marionette.

  “Hey, I didn’t get your name, or number,” he called after us.

  Mandy looked back at him. “It’s Lisa. Lisa Kane and I work here, so you don’t need my number.”

  Turning down the hallway to the ICU, we burst out laughing.

  “Mandy, when my mom starts getting harassed by this guy and then finds out why, she’s going to kill you.”

  “Whatever, it’s worth it. That will be funny.”

  We quickly found Brady’s room. Taking in a deep breath and trying to calm my nerves, I turned into the doorway. As I walked toward his bed, he looked better than I had anticipated. Thankfully, he had his breathing tube removed the night before because I wasn’t sure I could handle seeing him hooked up to a ventilator. The tough son of a bitch was awake and alert

  He pulled himself into a sitting position to make room for me. “Hey, babe.”

  “How are you, baby?” I said, shaking my head after realizing I sounded like Mandy. “I meant, well, you know what I mean. Are you in a lot of pain?”

  “Sort of, but the painkillers help.”

  I sat next to him and lightly wrapped my arms around him. He surprised me by pulling me into a crushing hug. I got a little emotional and had to keep pulling one arm out to wipe my tears away. Mandy found the visitor chair in the corner of the room and sat and just watched us like we were a soap opera. I could even here her ‘awing’ when we’d talk. He kept staring at me like I was some sort of prized possession and put his hand on my cheek.

  “I feel like I failed you, Liz,” Brady said. “You could be dead right now and it would be my fault.”

  “Don’t you dare fucking say that,” I snapped at him. “You were stabbed because of me, Brady! You defended me and things would’ve been different if he didn’t have a knife. I saw how you left his face. I know.”

  “Yeah, I know. I can’t help how I feel, though. I’m sure John wouldn’t have failed you,” he said sadly.

  “Oh, hell, no,” Mandy chimed in from the corner.

  “Shut it,” I said to her. “Listen, Brady, even the mighty John can be taken down by a gun or knife, so stop beating yourself up.”

  “I guess,” he reluctantly agreed.

  “And John’s proud of you for what you di
d. He’s extremely thankful, too.”

  Mandy got out of the chair and walked over. She sat on the other side of Brady.

  “Can I see?” she said, in that voice again.

  “Good lord, Mandy!” I snapped again. “Have you no shame?”

  “No, I really don’t,” she answered bluntly.

  “It’s a robe,” Brady said. “I can’t exactly pull it down, so the only way to see is pulling it up, and I don’t have anything on under this.”

  “That’s okay.” Mandy slowly moved her hand towards his leg and the bottom of the robe.

  “Line, Mandy. The line,” I said, smacking her hand away from my man.

  “I know,” she laughed. “You know I’m playing.”

  Before we knew it, Brady’s nurse came in to give him his dose of pain meds. “You know you girls aren’t supposed to be in here yet,” she gave us a stern look. “I’m not going to throw you out, but he really does need his rest.”

  I tried getting out of the bed, but he held me with his one arm and I couldn’t leave just yet.

  “Just a few more minutes.” He said as he started to zone.

  After about fifteen minutes, he was really starting to fall asleep.

  “We’re going to go so you can get your rest. You call me when you need anything, okay?”

  “Okay, babe. Thanks for coming to see me.” He mumbled.

  “The fact that you thanked me tells me you definitely need to rest.” I feathered his pillow behind his head and got him comfortable. I gave him another hug and a long, hard kiss as we left him behind, already asleep. A few tears escaped as we walked away.

  “Aw, sweetie,” Mandy comforted me. “You’re both going to need time to recover.”

  “I told you I’m not hurt. It’s just a small cut on my leg,” I said.

  “No, Liz. You have different wounds, the emotional kind. You still need to concentrate on yourself to heal.”

  She was right. I did needed to accept everything that had happened and work through it. I think I’d rather trade the knife wound with Brady. His healing would be much quicker than mine.

  We managed to dodge the guard on the way to the car. The sun was shining and it was perfect timing since the mall would be opening soon. We had two stores to hit to get what we needed to do the big reveal for John. Even though I worked there, I wanted to avoid that place. I’m sure that by now, some of Mike’s friends were spreading around what happened, and I just didn’t need to deal with that kind of drama after the past few days. Fortunately, Mandy and I were both experts at navigating the mall. To us, shopping was a sport and we were proud players.