An Ignited Passion

by Sandrine Gasq-Dion

  “She’s burned badly,” Austin nodded. “That’s a sight even I’m not used to yet, but he can’t freeze up like that!” Austin stripped out of his turnouts, and pulled his sweat soaked T-shirt over his head. The new guy, or probie, as he was called, was almost twenty three-and still green around the gills when it came to death. As a firefighter, it was something you had to see now and then and Austin didn’t think he’d ever get used to it. It didn’t mean he couldn’t do his job, though. Probie, Dean Anderson was his real name, had been at the house for six months and it had been Austin’s profound

  pleasure to inflict on him what he himself had endured during his probie stage.

  “I’m so ready to go home,” Austin said.

  “Three off, what do you want to do?” Kurt asked.

  “Sleep,” Austin chuckled, dragging his fingers through his dirty hair. “Yeah? Me, too, except we have to clean this week.” Kurt removed his own turnouts and wiped the sweat from his brow with his forearm. “Your turn to clean the toilet.”

  “Whatever.” Austin leaned against the truck, closing his eyes. He and Kurt had moved in together not long after Kurt had come to the firehouse. They were both neat freaks and the situation had worked out well for both of them. They took turns driving to work and who bought the groceries. They got along well, too. Both from small towns in anti-gayish

  communities, they had a lot in common. Austin brought up a vision of Tucker at the thought of gays; it’d been happening a lot lately. He hadn’t heard from him in months. After the Fourth of July on the Sound, Tucker and Wesley had gone back to work in Anchorage. Austin smiled to himself; Tucker had been every bit the gentleman whenever they’d gone

  somewhere together. He never tried to touch him, always stayed a few feet away when they walked. Tucker had the most beautiful eyes - hazel, but gold seemed to flare out in the iris, making them

  mesmerizing.

  “Where’d you go?” Kurt asked, looking over at Austin’s smile.

  “Um, nowhere,” Austin straightened up. Kurt narrowed his eyes. “The bullshit flag just went up. Spill it, Jacobson. I know what you’ve been thinking about lately.”

  Austin swallowed hard. “You do?”

  “Yes, I do. You’re trying to think of how many ways you can tell Nina ‘no’ before she actually believes you,” Kurt laughed.

  Austin relaxed and grinned. “She’s an animal! We went out one time and her hands were down my pants within the first two seconds. I swear she sucked the skin right off my prick!”

  “Oh, you poor thing!” Kurt rolled his eyes. Kurt threw his gear in the rig and turned to look at his roommate. He actually liked Austin a lot; they had so much in common it was ridiculous. They were close in age as well, Austin was twenty-four and he was twenty-six. They ate the same food, drank the same beer and watched the same shows. Austin was the roommate heaven sent. He’d met Austin’s mother one time when she came to visit. Austin’s mother was a lot like his own mother - the Sunday churchgoing, Bible thumping, gays-are-an-abomination kind. Kurt had never been so happy to see that woman pack up and leave. No wonder Austin left home as fast as he could; it was the same reason he himself had.

  Kurt looked at himself in the rig’s shiny bumper. He was pretty good-looking he supposed. He wasn’t as hot as Wesley Foster, though. Kurt cringed. And there he went again. He’d found himself thinking more and more about Wesley over the last few months - the way he smiled, the waves in his beautiful mahogany-colored hair and the eyes… Kurt almost sighed; Wesley had the most beautiful eyes. A cognac-colored brown with hints of amber flecks. Just beautiful. Kurt could see Wesley’s face as if he were standing right next to him. Wesley was taller than him as well, at least six foot two and muscles that seemed to come out from all directions. Kurt looked at himself again; pale blue eyes looked back from a face that looked tired and weary. This was the third suspicious-looking fire in three months’ time and they’d been working extra shifts, trying to keep up with the ones that popped up in between. Kurt caught the reflection of Chief Webber standing behind him and straightened up.

  “Maguire.”

  “Yes, sir?” Kurt said. “You and Jacobson pack it in; we’re heading back to the house. I don’t want to see you two, at all, for three days.”

  “Sir?”

  “You look like shit.”

  Kurt managed a half-smile. “Thanks, Chief.” By the time they got back to the firehouse, it was almost six in the

  morning. Kurt took a quick shower and waited for Austin to get his shit before they both headed out to the parking lot. Slipping into Austin’s gold Excursion, Kurt looked over at his roommate. “Club this weekend?”

  “One night only. I want to go camping.” Austin started the truck. “Again with the camping? I fish, I don’t camp,” Kurt said. “Camping and fishing then; stop being a big baby,” Austin chuckled, pulling out of the parking lot.

  “I am not a big baby,” Kurt crossed his arms and pursed his lips. “Friday night club with the guys, then camping. No excuses this time!” Austin playfully punched Kurt in the shoulder.

  “Is it gay or straight week?” Kurt chuckled.

  Austin tilted his head in thought. “I forgot, but who cares?” “Not me, I’ve been there so many times, the gay guys know I’m straight and they ward off the ones who don’t.”

  “At least you got some tips on how to dress better,” Austin laughed. Kurt looked down at his jeans. He had to admit, when Cole and Chaz had taken him shopping, he had looked damn good. He’d gotten some clothing he’d never thought he’d wear, but looking at himself in the mirror, he realized he liked the look. And it had actually gotten him a ton of dates. The firefighter status got him laid all the time; the clothes were an added bonus.

  “True,” Kurt nodded. “I see Chaz got you into Hollister as well.”

  “He did. Damn that store is dark as hell!” Austin said. “They don’t want you to be able to see the price tags,” Kurt laughed. “Cole got me all Bananad.”

  “Huh?” Austin glanced over at Kurt. “Dolce and Bananad.”

  Austin almost threw up he was laughing so hard. As it was, he pulled over until he could regain his breath. “That’s Dolce and Gabbana.”

  “Whatever!” Kurt sighed,

  exasperated. “I never wear that stuff, but damn if my ass isn’t juicy in those jeans.”

  Austin held his gut as the laughter kept pouring from him. “Stop! I have to get us home.”

  “You wanna wear my bananas Friday?” Kurt cracked up.

  “Shup,” Austin laughed. Pulling up to their condo, Kurt spotted a very familiar looking Chevy truck. He let out a loud, exasperated sigh. “Oh, shit.”

  “What’s up?” Austin pulled into their parking space. “My dad is here.” Kurt exited the vehicle. The door on the Chevy passenger side opened and Kurt smiled. His younger brother, Kory, got out smiling wide.

  “Nugget!” Kurt opened his arms. “Asshole!” Kory ran into Kurt’s arms, hugging him tightly. Kurt hugged his brother. “God, you got huge!” Kurt looked up, seeing his father with his hands on his hips, a frown already in place. Kenneth Maguire was a pastor and ruled with an iron fist.

  “Dad.”

  “What did I say about cursing, Kory?” Kenneth pursed his lips.

  “Sorry,” Kory said. “What brings you here, Dad?” Kurt put his hand out, shaking his father’s. There was no hugging in the Maguire house. Kurt hugged his brother anyway. He was twenty-six and no longer lived under the same roof. Screw it; he’d do whatever the fuck he wanted. “This is my roommate, Austin Jacobson.”

  “Pleasure to meet you, sir.” Austin put his hand out.

  “Roommate?” Kenneth’s brow rose. “Yes, Dad. We work together at the firehouse, made sense to get a place together. Austin’s from Montana.” As sad as it was, his father seemed to relax at that statement, as if no one in Montana was gay.

  “Good to meet you, Austin.” Kenneth turned his attention back to his sons. “I’m running the youth Chri
stian camp again. Kory decided he didn’t want to go be a counselor, he’d rather visit his big brother.”

  “Well he’s more than welcome to stay,” Austin smiled at Kurt’s younger brother. “How old are you?”

  “Just turned nineteen,” Kory beamed. “Yes and he’s reckless and

  irresponsible already. Doesn’t want to work in the church anymore.” Kenneth narrowed his eyes at Kory.

  “I’m nineteen, Dad. I want to go to college; I want to be a fireman like my brother,” Kory set his jaw tight. “Like my grandfather.”

  “And what did that get him? A life cut short fighting fires,” Kenneth’s voice rose. “Died, trying to save an old

  woman.”

  “At least he died doing what he loved,” Kurt crossed his arms over his chest. “I’ll watch Kory, Dad. Have fun at camp.”

  “Don’t let him go out on his own, I’ve heard all about Seattle.” Kenneth stalked back to his truck.

  Kurt put his arm around Kory, watching his father pull out of the parking lot without so much as a wave goodbye. It didn’t surprise him one bit; his father was cold and unfeeling. Kurt hugged Kory to him hard; he’d been worried about Kory being stuck with his parents. Kory had tried to leave right after he graduated from high school and had gotten dragged into being a camp counselor instead of starting college. Kurt’s mother was just as bad as Austin’s, if not worse. They’d had their mouths cleaned out with soap as children for saying ‘damn’ and been beaten with a stick if their chores hadn’t gotten done. Kurt had never been so relieved to see his brother.

  “How are you, Nugget?” Kurt walked with Kory to the door of their unit. “I’m about to run away from home! Be glad you left when you did; Mom’s worse than ever and I can’t do another summer of ‘gays are bad’ camp,” Kory said.

  “Jesus,” Austin’s eyes went wide. “Really? I thought my family was bad.” “Please tell me you stopped buying all that shit, bro. If I have to listen to one more lecture on the sins of the flesh…” Kory rolled his eyes.

  Austin cracked up. “Well, your brother and I go out to gay clubs all the time, with gay men.”

  Kory’s eyes almost popped out of his head. Kurt had to laugh. “Breathe!” “Really?” Kory looked at his brother in utter disbelief. “Yes, really. In fact we are going out tomorrow night with friends. You are more than welcome to tag along,” Kurt said, as he unlocked the door to their unit. “You guys drove out here?”

  “Yep,” Kory nodded. “Imagine how much fun that was.”

  “Why didn’t you just fly out on your own?” Kurt asked. Kory let out a gasp and covered his mouth in mock shock. “Are you serious? I could have one of those homosexual flight attendants put a date rape drug in my Coke and they could have their wicked way with me in the tiny bathroom!”

  Austin bent over laughing. “Oh my God! Are you fucking serious?”

  “Yep.” Kory held his hand skyward. “God’s honest truth.”

  Kurt shook his head.

  “Unbelievable.” Kory walked into the cool condo and looked around. Definitely a bachelor pad. NFL team pennants lined the wall and a large flat screen TV sat on one side. One long couch was positioned in front of it, with bean bags off to the side. A card table sat nearby with poker chips lined up in neat rows. Kory walked through every room, taking in the décor.

  “Wow, you guys are so lucky.” Kory walked into the kitchen when he was done.

  “You can have the office, it has a futon,” Kurt handed his brother a soda. “You okay with being on your own for a few hours? Austin and I just got off shift and need sleep.”

  “Yeah, it’s cool. You have cable or sumthin’?” Kory asked.

  “We’ve got satellite,” Austin waggled his brows. “And an Xbox.” “I love you guys, I really do,” Kory put his arms out. “Group hug.” Austin cracked up as Kory pulled him into a hug. “Okay, I’m off to bed; I’m dead standing on my feet. See you much later Kory,” Austin waved walking down the hall.

  “Night!” Kory looked in the fridge. “You can have whatever you want; the pantry’s stocked with chips and shit.” Kurt mussed his brother’s hair. “I’m glad you’re here, Kory. I was really worried about you. I have to say I’m surprised; when I left home you were spouting hatred just like they were.”

  Kory’s cheeks heated. “I met this guy at camp, a kid who was assigned to my cabin. I saw him when his parents dropped him off, they were speaking in a low voice to him and I saw him crying. Well, one night, after the kumbaya bonfire, I found him crying down by the lake. He looked scared to death when he saw me. He told me he was getting ready to kill himself right before I showed up,” Kory shook his head sadly. “You want to know why? He came out to his parents, they told him he was going to hell and if he didn’t come back from camp ‘fixed’ he wouldn’t be welcome at home.” Kory sat down at the kitchen counter with a loud sigh. “Who does that to their own flesh and blood? This kid wanted to die.”

  Kurt dragged his fingers through his hair. “Look, when I first got here, I still had the same mentality ingrained in me. Then I got to the firehouse and met Preston and Wyatt; I hung out with them at the gay club a few times. I was uncomfortable at first, you know? Then I realized that they were no different than most couples. Preston, man, he loves Wyatt with such fierceness,” Kurt sighed, shaking his head with a smile. “We should all be so lucky to find love like that. It doesn’t matter to me anymore that they are two men, because I see them as two human beings.”

  Kory sat back, mouth ajar. “Wow.” “What?”

  “I just never thought I’d hear you say that. Too bad we’re not Catholic Mom could throw holy water on you and Dad would probably send you to the pope for an exorcism.”

  “How are you dealing with all this?” Kurt asked. “I got the kid’s number on the last day and when I got home I found him a support group in his area. He calls me once a month to let me know he’s okay. His parents did throw him out and now he lives with his friend. Things have gotten better for him, now that he’s free to be who he is. I think it just hit me like a bolt of lightning when he told me he wanted to die. No kid should ever have to suffer, or feel unloved, because of whom they are.”

  Kurt stood back, looking at his brother. “You’ve come a long way. I can see now why you didn’t want to go back to camp with Dad. They practically instill that in the kids, that being gay is wrong.”

  “I think I want to start my own camp, just for kids who are gay and ostracized,” Kory said.

  “Well, maybe we can come up with something, okay?” Kurt hugged Kory. “I’m proud of you. I need to get some rest though; we’ll talk more about this tonight.”

  “Yup, love you, bro.”

  “Love you, too,” Kurt said.

  ~~ Tucker stumbled through the apartment door, barely awake. The night shift was having quite the effect on his sleeping habits. Wesley almost ran into him as they both headed for their bedrooms. Tucker hit his bed fully dressed, staring at the ceiling.

  “When did you do this?” Tucker laughed. “While you were at the store.” Wesley came in the room and collapsed on the bed. “Cool, huh?”

  “It’s like you’re flipping me off in 3D,” Tucker tilted his head, looking at the huge middle finger on his ceiling.

  “That’s for leaving the cap of the sugar half on.” Tucker cracked up. “Okay, no more pranks for a while. I have to admit, you looked funny when all that sugar went in your coffee.”

  Wesley sighed heavily. “We need to make contact, Tucker. I can’t do this anymore. Do you know how many nights I go to bed thinking about Kurt? How his eyes sparkle when I talk to him, his tight ass and those lips? I just want him, and I don’t know how I’m going to make him love me.”

  “You can’t make him love you,” Tucker said. “Don’t you think I want the same things? I went out with Austin a few times, just as friends. It killed me to not hold his hand or kiss him. He’s so damn beautiful. You and I both know we can’t push this. The fates would not have given them t
o us if we didn’t have a chance.”

  “We’ve been through so much already, Tucker. Your parents, my parents, running away and sleeping on the streets. We were lucky that Wayne found us; hell, we didn’t even have to tell our parents we were werewolves and got the heave-ho for being gay.”

  “Have you ever… heard from them? I looked mine up a while ago. They moved to Germany when my dad got orders,” Tucker said.

  “No, and I don’t care.” Wesley closed his eyes. His parents had never been there for him and the night he’d come home, beaten and bleeding, had been the last straw for him. He and Tucker had been at a party with Preston and had gotten drunk. The next thing he knew, one of the men at the party was trying to have sex with Preston while he was passed out. He’d gotten into a fight and two more men had jumped in. Then the shift had

  happened and he’d screamed just from seeing three men change into wolves. They all had been bitten; Tucker had woken up and jumped in and then Preston had joined the fight. Between the claws and the teeth, Wesley was surprised any of them had survived. Then their first shift experience came. Wesley shivered thinking about it.

  “You’re thinking about it.” Tucker turned his head, looking at Wesley. “It was a long time ago, we were eleven.” “Yeah, I know. You’re still thinking about it, though. We were lucky to have Wayne as a father, Wesley. He never judged us, taught us that being gay is nothing to be ashamed of. We are who we are today because of Wayne, and if he says our mates will eventually come to us, then I believe him.”

  “I can’t move,” Wesley sighed. “Go to sleep, I’ll make dinner later.” Tucker closed his eyes, sleep came quickly.

  ~~ Kurt woke up to his alarm going off. He slapped it across the room and sat up in bed. Sunlight was streaming through the blinds; he really needed to invest in thick curtains. He threw his legs over the bed and stretched his muscles. The smell of coffee invaded his senses, making him move. Throwing on some pajama pants, Kurt made his way into the kitchen to find Kory making breakfast. He’d woken up at ten to find Kory and Austin playing video games; after that, he’d gone back to bed. The whole day had taken a toll on his body, from the fire to his father. Kurt grabbed a coffee cup and looked over his brother’s shoulder.