Further To Fall

by Catherine Cowles

  Kyle bellowed in pain as he flew backward onto the ground, then Blue was on him, teeth at his neck. The next thing I knew, two police officers were charging in, and Blue retreated from Kyle to stand guard in front of me, growling at the officers.

  “Ma’am, are you okay?” One of the officers had a hold of Kyle, while the other was trying to approach me with his hand out in a placating gesture. “Can you call your dog off?” Between the pain in my side and the shock of what had happened, I couldn’t seem to form words.

  Just then, the officer whirled around, gun out, to face a rapidly approaching and ferocious-looking Austin. He looked like a true warrior and nothing, not even a gun-toting policeman, was going to stop him. “I’m her boyfriend,” he growled.

  “Yes,” I wheezed out the word.

  The cop lowered his weapon but didn’t holster it. “Can you get her dog so that we can examine her.”

  Austin’s concern-filled eyes flew to mine. “Blue, lay down,” he called, his voice full of alpha authority. Blue whined but obeyed. Austin strode forward.

  “I’m okay.” The words came out on that same weird wheeze. Suddenly, my chest was burning, and my legs started to collapse. The last thing I saw before everything went black was the horror written all over Austin’s face.

  44

  Austin

  I surged forward, catching Carter just before she hit the ground. “Fuck! What’s wrong with her?” I yelled at the cop like he had some sort of miraculous knowledge that would enable me to help her.

  “Let me examine her.” The calm quality of the cop’s voice just pissed me off, but I swallowed it back. I lay Carter down on the ground as gently as possible. He immediately got to work assessing her injuries. Her shirt was torn down the middle, and as the officer pulled it away from Carter’s body, I saw blood pooling around her abdomen. Vomit snaked up my throat, but I forced it back.

  The next moments felt like an eternity as I knelt next to Carter’s broken body while the cop applied pressure to the wound on her torso. I watched blood seep from between his fingers, fixating on the dark liquid as if I could will it back into her body. I forced myself to look away from the gore and towards her face. I stroked her hair, silently begging her eyelids to open so I could see her vibrant green irises.

  “Sir, I need you to move aside so we can treat her.”

  I started at the voice behind me, and Blue growled low. I turned to see two EMTs with a backboard in tow. The second police officer must have already taken Kyle away because that fucker was nowhere in sight. I looked back to Carter, leaned down and kissed her forehead. “You can do this, baby. Fight.” I dragged myself and Blue away from Carter, my vision going fuzzy as I stared at the medics working on my beautiful girl. How the fuck did this happen?

  What felt like both hours and mere seconds later, the EMTs were loading Carter onto a stretcher. “Are you riding with us?” one of them asked.

  “Yes,” I croaked out. My mouth and throat felt like they were made of sandpaper.

  “What are you going to do with the dog?”

  I looked down at Blue’s sorrow-filled eyes. “He’s coming, too.”

  The younger EMT looked to the older one, who shrugged. “We don’t have time for this, bring them both.” With that, Blue and I followed the stretcher out the door. Neighbors had come out of their homes and were huddled together on the sidewalk, watching the morbid action unfold. I ignored them and hefted myself into the back of the ambulance, Blue jumping right in after me.

  The lights and sirens flared to life, and the ambulance pulled away. “How is she doing?” I asked the older EMT, who was in the back with me.

  This guy had clearly mastered the stone-faced response in his years on the job because he gave nothing away when he said, “Too soon to tell. I think the blade may have nicked her lung because she’s having trouble breathing.”

  I clenched the bench I was sitting on and said nothing. We flew through LA traffic, cars thankfully getting out of our way. The rig came to a stop, and the back doors flew open. The driver had apparently called ahead because doctors and nurses already wearing gloves and what looked like surgical scrubs greeted us. The stretcher was pulled from the ambulance, and the older EMT started shouting terms I didn’t have the first clue about to the doctors.

  I jumped down, Blue hot on my heels, and we took off after the team with Carter. A doctor turned, putting a palm to my chest when we reached an interior set of double doors. “You can’t come into the trauma room with us, and that dog shouldn’t even be here. You need to wait in the waiting room or take your dog home and come back.”

  My shoulders and fists clenched. “I’m not going anywhere, and this dog saved that girl’s life, so he’s not going anywhere either.”

  The doctor shook his head, exasperated. “Fine, but you can’t come back here.”

  A nurse touched the asshole doctor’s arm. “I’ll show him where he can wait.” The doctor jerked his chin in a gruff nod and slammed through the double doors. My eyes went to the nurse, who shook her head. “Sorry about that, he doesn’t have the best bedside manner, but he’s a great doctor. I’ll show you where you can wait.”

  She led me down a hallway and opened the door to a small room with half a dozen plastic chairs. “This is a private waiting room where no one should give you any grief about your dog. If they do, just say he’s a service dog, and you don’t have the paperwork with you. Can I get you or your dog some water?”

  I looked down at Blue, whose muzzle I realized was slightly bloody. Shit. “Yeah, some water for my dog would be great, and maybe some paper towels so I can clean him off?”

  The woman gave me a small smile. “No problem, I’ll be right back.”

  “Thanks, ma’am, I appreciate it.” I sank back into a chair, the hard plastic jarring my spine. Blue shuffled over and laid his head in my lap with a pathetic-sounding whine. “I know, boy, but she’s going to be okay.” I dug my fingers into the rolls of fur at his neck. He shuddered at the contact. “You did a good job, Blue, you protected your mom.” He cocked his head to the side slightly, looking up at me with heartbreakingly sad eyes while still keeping his head on my lap.

  Blue and I stayed like that until the door opened and the nurse bustled in, water in one hand and Liam and Ford at her back. Shit. I didn’t even think about calling them or Carter’s parents. I stood and Liam pulled me into a tight hug, his voice was strained when he said, “Detective Massey called me and said Carter had been hurt. What the fuck happened?”

  I pulled back, and Ford grasped my shoulder. I said only one word. “Kyle.”

  “Fuck!” Liam swung around and slammed his palm against the wall. “Is she going to be okay?”

  “He stabbed her,”—my voice hitched—“and I’m not sure what else. The doctors took her back to work on her, but I haven’t heard anything.”

  Liam’s eyes were wet, and Ford looked murderous. We turned collectively to look at the nurse, who had bent down to place the water at Blue’s front paws. When she rose, she handed me a roll of paper towels. “Here you go. I’ll go see if there’s an update on your friend. Are any of you family members?”

  “No,” I answered. “I’m her boyfriend, and these are her friends.” The word boyfriend seemed completely inaccurate. Carter was so much more to me than my girlfriend. It was then I knew that, as soon as she was well, my ring was going on her finger.

  Liam took a step forward. “I’m a close family friend. We grew up together. I need to call her parents, but I need to have something to tell them.”

  The nurse nodded, pursing her lips. “I’ll see what I can do.” With that, she exited, sneakers squeaking against the linoleum floor.

  I sighed, leaning my head back and squeezing my eyes closed. How the hell had this happened? I couldn’t stop asking the question. I’d let her down. I hadn’t been there when she needed me, again. Fuck. A hand clamped down on my shoulder, and my eyes snapped open. “Don’t like where your head is at, brother.” It was
the always insightful Ford.

  “I let her down, man. I wasn’t there like I knew I should have been, and she got fucking stabbed. Her lip was split, eye swollen. Her goddamned shirt was torn open.” I shrugged off his hand, needing to move, needing to hit something. “That fucker touched her, and I can’t even do anything about it because the cops already have him. And Carter’s back there, maybe fucking dying, and I can’t do anything about that either.”

  Liam grabbed me this time, using both hands on my shoulders, and I could sense Ford at my back. “Rein it in, A. You gotta swallow that shit down right now. Carter needs you. You have to be there when she wakes up and not in lock-up because you destroyed a hospital waiting room or punched a doctor.”

  My nostrils flared as I fought to get my breathing under control and reel in the rage that was now flowing freely. I clenched and unclenched my fists at least a dozen times as I breathed in and out. Liam and Ford stayed with me, at my front and back, unmoving. My brothers, keeping me grounded. I let out one more slow breath. “I’ve got it in check now.”

  Liam clapped me on the back. “Good, because I really wouldn’t have wanted to get some security guard to come Taser your ass.”

  I tried to smile at his snarky comments, but my lips just wouldn’t cooperate. Ford squeezed the back of my neck. “She’s strong, A. Stronger than you think. She’s gonna pull through.” I nodded, and he released me.

  The waiting room door swung open, and asshole doctor was back. “Greta’s going to be bringing some paperwork back for you to fill out as best as you can but, in the meantime, I need to know if the young woman has any allergies.”

  My jaw worked. “The young woman’s name is Carter and, no, she doesn’t have any allergies. Now, can you tell us what the fuck is going on?”

  Asshole doctor took no offense to my tone or language because he continued as if I had said: “please, sir.”

  “Carter is going to need surgery. She has a collapsed lung that is not reflating, and we believe the knife may have pierced the lung in a way that needs surgical intervention.”

  “But she’s going to be okay, right?” It was Ford who spoke. I was locking it down so tightly that I thought more than one of my muscles might snap.

  The doctor looked at Ford, his mask of detachment firmly in place. “It’s too soon to tell.” God, I hated those words. “But we’ll do everything we can. She’s being prepped for surgery now. I’ll come and speak to you when I’m done.”

  I stepped forward then. “Doc?” I extended my hand for a shake. When he took it, I pulled him in close and whispered with no small amount of menace, “I love that girl. She is my whole fucking world. So you do everything you can possibly think of to help her. You get me?”

  His Adam’s apple bobbed as his head tilted back to meet my eyes. His mask slipped just a bit. “I get you.”

  “Good.” I squeezed his hand to emphasize my point and then released him. He darted for the door.

  Liam shifted from foot to foot, slipping his hand in his pocket and pulling out his cell phone. “I have to call her parents.” He looked lost. “This is going to kill them.”

  I stepped towards him and reached out my hand. “Let me do it. I told her dad I’d protect her, he should hear from me that I failed.”

  He smacked my hand away. “Quit it with that shit. You did everything you possibly could to protect her, more than she wanted you to. We all thought they had the guy, this is not on you.”

  “I knew in my gut that something was off. I shouldn’t have let her stay there alone.”

  Liam scoffed, “Like Carter would let you tell her what she could or couldn’t do. That girl is as stubborn as anyone I’ve ever met. This is only one person’s fault, and that guy is in jail.”

  My shoulders slumped. I knew Liam was right, Kyle was the one to blame. I just couldn’t shake the guilt that had taken hold. I couldn’t shake it, but I could shut up about it, so I nodded at Liam, and he slipped from the room to make his call. I sat back down in one of the ridiculously uncomfortable chairs, and Ford sat down next to me. “He’s right, you know.” I grunted in response. “This is not your fault.”

  “I know it’s not my fault. What’s tearing me up is that I didn’t stop it.”

  “Austin, there is so much shit in this world that is beyond your control. Some of that shit is really fucking bad, but some of it is really fucking good. It’s always gonna be a roll of the dice. All you can do is make sure you focus your energy on the important stuff within your control.”

  I rubbed Blue between the ears. “I’m going to ask Carter to marry me.”

  A huge smile broke out over Ford’s face. “That’s one great thing to focus on. Make sure you get Taylor’s or Carter’s mom’s input on the ring, don’t want to get that shit wrong.”

  A small grin came to my face. “Definitely don’t want to fuck that up.”

  The waiting-room door opened again, and the same doctor and a new nurse entered. I could read nothing on the doctor’s face. The three of us stood, and Blue alerted at my side. “Miss McCarthy has been moved to the ICU. The surgery was successful but more complicated than we expected. There was a vascular tear we couldn’t see that caused some internal bleeding and a strain on the heart.”

  “What does that mean?” I interrupted, my hands clenched into fists at my sides.

  The doctor’s Adam’s apple bobbed. “Her heart stopped on the table. We were able to get it beating again and find the bleeder. We expect that she’ll make a full recovery, but we’ll know more when she regains consciousness.”

  A tingling numbness had taken over my body, and there was a ringing in my ears. My beautiful, vibrant firecracker’s heart had stopped beating. I was jarred from my thoughts by the nurse. “I can take you up to ICU if you’re ready.”

  We followed the woman to a bank of elevators. When the doors opened, we stood in awkward silence with only the ding of the passing floors filling the small space. I clenched and unclenched my fists, over and over, trying to force my body to relax, my heart rate to slow, but it did no good.

  When the doors slid open again, I was right on the nurse’s heels. She led us into an area where a handful of small rooms circled a nurse’s station. She paused outside a closed door. “Don’t be alarmed by the different machines in the room, they are just helping to support her while she recovers.” I gave a jerk of my chin, and she pushed open the door.

  My heart stuttered in my chest when I got my first look at Carter. There were tubes everywhere, including one coming out of her mouth that must have been helping her breathe. The split in her lip had been sutured, but the bruising around her eye and cheek had worsened in the hours since I’d seen her.

  My stomach roiled at the thought of all that had been done to her. I dragged my eyes away from Carter’s broken body that looked so tiny in the hospital bed and looked at the nurse. “I need to know…” I could barely choke the words out. “Was she raped?”

  A soft look came over the nurse’s face, and she laid a hand on my arm. “There were absolutely no signs of sexual assault.” I nodded, swallowing the emotion that clogged my throat. “You can sit with her. Try talking to her. Many patients report that they could hear those around them even though they couldn’t respond.”

  I nodded again, woodenly. “Thank you.”

  She smiled gently. “Of course. Just let any of the nurses at the station know if you need anything.”

  I edged closer to the bed, pulling a chair behind me. I sank into it—more uncomfortable plastic. A hand gripped my shoulder. “Liam and I are going to give you a minute. You want us to get you anything? Water? Coffee?”

  “No. Thanks, Ford.” He gave my shoulder a squeeze, and they eased out of the room. I studied Carter’s form, looking for someplace I could touch her without hurting her. One hand was on top of the blankets, but it had an IV in place, and a clip on one of her fingers. I carefully pulled back the covers to expose her other hand. It was thankfully free of any tubes or injury. Her
nails still carried the pale pink polish that she loved so much.

  I gently lifted her arm, laying it on top of the blanket, and clasped her hand between my own. I hated how cold it felt, how lifeless. I fought the urge to climb into the bed beside Carter. Blue’s paws plodded against the floor, I turned slightly to see him sniffing the air. When he caught Carter’s scent, he whined and then laid his head on the bed next to her hand. His tongue darted out, licking her fingers and mine.

  I couldn’t stop the tears that fell, splashing onto Carter’s hand, held between my own. “You can’t leave me, Firecracker. I need you. Blue needs you.” I got no response, but Blue lapped up the tears as my chest heaved.

  45

  Carter

  The first thing I was aware of was a faint beeping noise. The second was pain. I hurt everywhere. It seemed like even the strands of my hair held pain. I tried to tell my eyes to open, but the only thing I succeeded in doing was affecting a fluttering sensation. Suddenly, I felt pressure around my hand.

  “Baby?” I relaxed slightly at the familiar voice. “Firecracker, let me see those beautiful eyes.” Austin’s words spurred on all the fight I had in me, and my eyes began to open. Austin’s face, slightly blurry, slowly came into focus. “There she is.”

  I opened my mouth, which felt like sandpaper, and tried to ask what had happened, but all that came out was a “wha” and a whoosh of air. Austin quickly reached for a pitcher of water and poured some into a cup with a straw. He gently placed the straw between my lips, and I sucked down the liquid. Water had never tasted so good.

  Austin started to pull the cup away, and I let out a sound of protest. “Slow down, baby, don’t want you to get sick.” I didn’t want to get sick either, throwing up while in this much pain did not sound fun. “Try not to talk. You had a tube down your throat, so it’s going to hurt for a little while.” Austin must have sensed my rising panic because he grasped my hand and said, “You’re okay now, everything’s going to be fine.”