The Hippie Handbook
Page 5
WHAT YOU NEED
2 cups brown sugar
1 3/4 cups whole-wheat flour
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup soy milk
1/2 cup vegetable oil
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup boiling water
* * *
Preheat oven to 350°F.
Combine the brown sugar, flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt in a bowl.
Add the soy milk, oil, and vanilla and beat for 2 minutes.
Stir in the boiling water.
Pour into an 8-inch square cake pan.
Bake 35 to 40 minutes.
Allow cake to cool. The cake is done when a toothpick stuck into the center of the cake comes out free of crumbs.
Tempeh
Stuff to do Around a Campfire
Every hippie eventually finds him- or herself sitting around a campfire. Hippies are drawn to campfires like moths to a flame. But then what?
Drum.
Play harmonica.
Sing “We Shall Overcome” in three-part harmony.
See if you can name all the bands that played at Woodstock.
See if you can name all the bands that played at Woodstock in the order they went on.
Burn incense.
Plot the revolution.
Give each other henna tattoos.
Tell Peace Corps stories.
When I was in the fifth grade my mother decided that we should move to an American Indian reservation “for the experience.” We rented a little house on Gooseberry Point in the Lummi reservation near Bellingham, Washington. The “Point” was a small spit of land on the Bay overlooking Lummi Island. We lived across the street from the water, and each night would pack up a bowl of basil pesto pasta, build a fire on the beach, and eat oceanside. We did this every night until the first winter, when the spit flooded and we had to be rescued by a man in a rowboat. As he rowed us to safety, we passed our front porch, which had broken free and was now floating down the street. After we moved back to Bellingham, we still made the half-hour trek back to the beach once a week for several months to eat dinner by campfire.
How to Play “Kumbaya” on a Guitar
Someone’s singing Lord, Kumbaya (3) Oh, Lord, Kumbaya
Kumbaya, my Lord, Kumbaya (3) Oh, Lord, Kumbaya
Someone’s praying Lord, Kumbaya (3) Oh, Lord, Kumbaya
Kumbaya, my Lord, Kumbaya (3) Oh, Lord, Kumbaya
Someone’s sleeping Lord, Kumbaya (3) Oh, Lord, Kumbaya
Kumbaya, my Lord, Kumbaya (3) Oh, Lord, Kumbaya
How to Cook Like a Hippie
“Oregano” Brownies (Serves 10)
WHAT YOU NEED
1/2 cup butter
2 ounces unsweetened chocolate
1 cup sugar
2 eggs, well beaten
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
3/4 cup flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 ounce “oregano,” chopped
* * *
Preheat oven to 350°F.
Melt butter and chocolate together in a large saucepan over low heat.
Remove the saucepan from the heat and stir in remaining ingredients.
Pour mixture into a greased 8-inch square pan.
Bake for 25 to 30 minutes.
Let cool.
Cut into squares.
Serve and enjoy.
Freezer Pesto (Makes 1 Cup)
WHAT YOU NEED
3 cups fresh basil leaves, loosely packed
1/3 cup pine nuts
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
3 garlic cloves, chopped
1/2 cup olive oil
Salt and ground black pepper to taste
* * *
Process all ingredients in a blender or food processor.
Freeze the pesto.
Note: Pesto, nicely jarred, makes a lovely solstice or hostess gift.
America has hippies to thank for the popularity of basil pesto. Now firmly under the culinary stewardship of the chardonnay-sipping crowd, pesto was first championed by hippies. It was green, and we liked it. It was always homemade. At the end of the garden season, my mother would make one last vast batch with all the basil that was left and then freeze it to last us through the winter. We ate it on pasta, toast, sandwiches, baked potatoes, pizza, foccacia, and quesadillas, and in vinaigrette on our salads. As far as she was concerned, a meal without pesto was an opportunity wasted.
Millet Casserole (Serves 15)
WHAT YOU NEED
3 cups uncooked millet
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 medium onions, diced
3 celery stalks, sliced
1 cup cooked chickpeas
5 cups water
1 teaspoon salt
2 cups broccoli, chopped
Grated Parmesan and provolone
Parsley, minced, for garnish
Millet casserole was a staple at the farm because it was easy to make, and this recipe, when doubled, could feed up to twenty hungry hippies. None of the men liked it because, frankly, millet casserole is not that good. But the women were a little fed up with having to do so much cooking, so they made it a lot. Many of these women went on to join the feminist movement.
A helpful suggestion from my father: If you have to eat millet, eat it with a lot of cheese, and slather it with butter.
Rinse and drain millet. (A strainer lined with cheesecloth or a dishtowel works great.)
Dry-roast millet in a heavy skillet for 6 minutes over high heat, stirring constantly, until the millet smells nutty and starts to turn a golden brown.
Remove skillet from heat.
Heat oil in a large saucepan over medium heat and sauté onions for 2 minutes, until they soften.
Add celery and sauté for 5 minutes, stirring often.
Add chickpeas, water, and salt. Bring to a boil.
Stir in millet and return to a boil. Reduce heat, cover, and simmer for 20 minutes.
Add broccoli and continue to cook for 5 minutes.
Add cheese to taste.
While mixture is hot, press firmly into a 9-inch cake pan.
Sprinkle with parsley, cut into wedges or squares, and serve.
Peanut Butter And Honey Sandwich (Serves 1)
WHAT YOU NEED
A butter knife
1 tablespoon all-natural, unsweetened, organic peanut butter
2 slices homemade whole-wheat bread
1 tablespoon honey
Small children denied white sugar will inevitably go nuts for honey—it’s sweet, and, deprived of sugar, the kids don’t know any better. Peanut butter and honey sandwiches were always a treat, wrapped in wax paper—this was deemed more environmentally friendly than plastic bags or plastic wrap—and secured with a rubber band. The bread, hand cut from the loaf, was misshapen and full of seeds, raisins, and whatever else was lying around the kitchen. This, combined with the millet, led to extremely healthy and regular bowel movements.
Use a butter knife to spread an even coat of peanut butter on one side of a slice of bread.
Clean the knife.
Spread an even coat of honey on one side of another piece of bread.
Place the bread with the peanut butter on it, peanut butter side down, on top of the bread with the honey on it, honey side up, so that the honey and the peanut butter come together.
Slice the sandwich from one corner to the opposite corner so that you have two triangular pieces.
Eat the sandwich.
Tempeh
How to Grow Tempeh in Your Bathtub
Sure, you can buy tasty meatless products at almost all grocery stores, but why would you do that when you can spend hours tediously making your own?
What you need
21/2 cups whole soybeans
Grain mill or food processor (optional)
2 tablespoons white vinegar
1 teaspoon tempeh
starter (a spore mixture that contains the seeds of the fungal culture—it can be ordered over the Internet or purchased at a natural food store)
4 re-sealable plastic bags
hammer
small nail
Bathtub
Space heater
Thermometer
Split the soybeans. You can do this with a loosely set grain mill or food processor or, if you do not have a grain mill or food processor, by squeezing them using a kneading motion, cracking each bean in half. I heartily recommend using a food processor set on a low speed.
In a large pot, soak the soybeans in 8 cups of water for 6 to 18 hours. Stir gently, so the hulls rise to the surface, then pour off the water and hulls. Keep re-adding water and pouring off the hulls until you’ve drained off as many hulls as seems feasible.
Add enough water back into the pot to cover the beans. Add the vinegar and cook for 25 to 30 minutes over medium heat. Drain the water and heat the beans in the pot over medium heat for a few minutes until they are dry, stirring constantly.
Allow the beans to cool down to room temperature.
Sprinkle the soybeans with 1 teaspoon tempeh starter. Mix with a clean spoon for about 1 minute to distribute the starter evenly.
Place the plastic bags in a stack and, using a hammer and clean nail, poke small holes all over the bags about ¼ inch apart. A fork will also work.
Divide the soybeans among the bags and seal them. Press flat, making sure that the thickness of the beans in each bag is about ½ inch.
Spread the packed bags out in your empty bathtub. Using the space heater, heat the room to between 86 and 90°F (this is the optimum spore-producing temperature). If you live in Florida and don’t have air conditioning, you can skip the space heater.
About 24 to 36 hours later, the bags should be filled completely with white mycelium, and you’ll see gray spores poking through the holes in the plastic. The tempeh can be eaten immediately. It will also last in the fridge for about a week.
How to Decorate Your Home Like a Hippie
For a culture that values nonattachment, hippies like to surround themselves with a whole lot of stuff.
NECESSITIES
Wood beaded curtains
Plants
Macramé hanging-plant holders
Macramé wall hangings
Loom
Political posters
Found furniture (see “How to Dumpster Dive”)
Indian tapestries for walls and sofa
Oriental rugs
Wooden fruit crates (used as end tables or bookcases)
Cable-spool coffee table
Batik curtains
Peacock feathers
Mattress on the floor
Anything wicker
Art you’ve made, traded for at craft fairs, or purchased at thrift stores
Musical instruments (e.g., banjo, guitar, out-of-tune piano, recorder, harmonica, bongo drums, and sitar)
Quilts (can be hung in doorways in winter for warmth or tucked over torn sofa cushions)
Wine bottles made into candle holders or vases
Pottery wheel
Candles (minimum four per room)
Woodstove or fireplace (does not have to be operational)
Mobiles (the bigger, the better)
Mismatched dishes, silverware, cloth napkins
Jam jars used as drinking glasses
Chopsticks and wooden spoons
Ceramic wind chimes
Bright-colored walls (royal purple, tangerine orange, Chinese red, or electric blue)
Murals
Why not build an outhouse? The first winter my parents and their friends lived on the farm, all the pipes froze. “Going with the flow,” they slapped a strip of duct tape over the toilet, dug a hole for an outhouse, and built an outbuilding over the top. Every summer after that—long after indoor plumbing was functional again—they threw an outhouse party and invited all their friends to come fill in the old hole, dig another, and drag the outbuilding over to cover the new hole.
How to Dumpster Dive
Dumpster diving has always been one of my favorite hippie pastimes. If you live in Manhattan, where people often leave perfectly good furniture out on the curb and where it is perfectly acceptable for other people to cart it home, you are probably already comfortable with this concept. Others might find it icky. So let’s get one thing straight: There is nothing wrong with taking someone else’s trash. You’ll be amazed at how many treasures are lurking under a layer of takeout Pad Thai and old cottage-cheese containers.
Identify your target neighborhood. Concentrate on areas where young people rent. Stay away from wealthy neighborhoods. It is a surprising fact that rich people do not throw good stuff away. They give their trash to charity and deduct it on their tax returns.
Determine when trash day is in your target neighborhood (by observation, or by calling the city).
The night before trash day (“Trash Eve”) drive your VW bus slowly through your target neighborhood.
When you spot a dumpster or trash pile that is teeming with bounty, approach it cautiously. (Do not climb in the dumpster. Dumpsters can be very dangerous and also dirty.) Bring a footstool so that you can get a good vantage point for sifting. Stay away from clothing, sealed trash bags, and diapers.
When you see something you like, carefully free it from the dumpster and load it in the back of your bus.
Continue cruising and repeat.
From top to bottom:
Correct
Incorrect
COLLEGE TOWNS
If you live in a college town, you’re in luck! College students are notorious among hippies for their wanton display of “nonattachment” to the material world. Just wait until the week after school gets out for the summer and cruise by dumpsters behind student housing. You will likely find stereo equipment, computers, couches, perfectly good “water pipes,” and all manner of stuff that is too big or awkward to haul home to Mom and Dad’s in the back of a Civic. If you do not live in a college town, you will have to be a bit more vigilant.
How to Clean Your House Like a Hippie
Hippies are not generally known for their sparkling-clean abodes. This is not due to a lack of effort but instead is due to the hippies’ commitment to using nontoxic house-cleaning products. These days, natural cleaning supplies can be purchased at your local health food store, but if you want to save a little bread, here are some cleaning agents you can make yourself.
WHAT YOU NEED
Baking soda
White vinegar
Salt
Olive oil
Elbow grease
BAKING SODA
Keep an open box of baking soda in the fridge to stave off the smell of overripe produce.
To reduce garbage odor, sprinkle the bottom of the garbage can with baking soda.
To clean surfaces, sprinkle baking soda on a damp cloth. Wipe, then rinse with clean water.
To remove stubborn stains from most surfaces, use a baking soda paste (three parts baking soda to one part water). Apply, let stand until dry, then scrub or wipe clean.
To clean thrift-store silver, use a paste of three parts baking soda to one part water. Rub the paste onto each item, then rinse with warm water and dry with a soft cloth.
To remove burnt-on vegetarian lasagna from the bottom of pans, sprinkle with baking soda, then add hot water. Let soak overnight; the dried-on gunk will come off with less scraping.
To help prevent clogged drains, pour ¼ cup baking soda down your drains weekly. Rinse thoroughly with hot water.
To remove odors from a carpet found while dumpster diving, sprinkle with baking soda. Let stand for at least 15 minutes, then vacuum. Repeat as needed.
WHITE VINEGAR
Mix equal parts white vinegar and water, and you have a great glass cleaner. It also removes mildew and stains and cleans grout and fireplaces. Vinegar can be used on porcelain, countertops, and tile.
SALT
/> Salt can be used as an abrasive agent when cleaning pots and pans.
OLIVE OIL
Mix equal parts olive oil and white vinegar for use as a furniture polish. (This can make the room a little strong smelling, so, as always, keep incense on hand.)
How to Paint a Mural on the Side of Your House or Minibus
WHAT YOU NEED
A black felt-tip pen
A transparency sheet
An overhead projector, extension cord, and electricity source
A pencil
Acrylic paints in colors of your choosing
Paintbrushes in various sizes
WITHOUT A COMPUTER
Draw the mural image in felt-tip pen directly onto a transparency sheet.
Project the image on the house or minibus using the overhead projector.
Using a pencil, trace the entire drawing you have projected onto the house or minibus. (A pen may not work as well, because the ink may not flow as steadily while you’re holding the pen in a horizontal position.)
Turn off the projector.
Fill in the pencil outline on your house or minibus with colorful paint.
WITH A COMPUTER (AND A SCANNER AND PRINTER)
Use your pen to draw a mural on a piece of white copy paper.
Scan the drawing.
Print the image on a transparency sheet.
Project the image on the house or minibus using the overhead projector, then trace and paint the image as in steps 3 through 5 above.