Rage to Adore

by Cara Lake

  On reaching the palace they took her inside via the back gate and through a small tunnel that led to the winding stair of one of the four tallest towers. She was escorted into a large suite, certainly not the dungeon she’d had visions of entering. This was a luxurious apartment, the furnishings similar to those in Morana’s townhouse. “This is the Lady Morana’s suite,” announced the guard, withdrawing toward the door. “Make yourself at home. I doubt she will be returning.”

  On that ominous note the door slammed shut, the lock clicking, leaving Tani to wonder just what had happened to Morana. Fear that she had been revealed as a Eunomi informer surfaced and with it stronger fears that Phenex might already know Tani was an Esseni. She had hoped his interest in her, although unwanted, was purely a lustful desire. She prayed to Gaia that’s all it was. Two hour later she knew her prayers had been in vain.

  Tani whirled around, alert and on edge as the door creaked open. “Tanith! I’m so thankful you’re safe!” The sound of his voice scratched like chalk on a board. Lorcan entered the room, his gray eyes racked with concern, his brow creased in worry. It was so obviously false—so fake that she couldn’t understand how she had ever felt warmth toward him. He looked like Jaro, but his handsome face was a mask and underneath it was something malevolent and chilling. Her expression must have told him that something was off because he took one look at her and dropped the pretense.

  “Believe it or not, I am thankful,” he said, his tone slithering with shadowy darkness that slid across her skin, wrapping tightly around her throat. “Although I would have preferred that you had remained in ignorance of certain facts about me.” He shut the door and turned to face her slowly. “I know you have spent time with Jaro and I suspect you have visited that slut Liana since I last saw you.”

  Tani remained silent as he walked toward her. He stopped two feet away and raked his eyes up and down her body. “I can see why everyone including Phenex wants you, Tanith; although I think you can do better than my brother. Did he fuck you?” She took a step back. Lorcan sneered at her. “What do you women see in him? He’s nothing. Less than nothing. A slave tied to the whims of his master. I would never have put myself in that position.”

  “That’s because you’re a coward,” Tani whispered, but Lorcan caught her words, his expression turning sour.

  “I’m not a coward. Jaro is the coward. He gave up his life for one of servitude. He deserves to suffer for throwing it away. He was always a fool.”

  “He sacrificed himself for you! How can you call him a coward? He’s a hundred— no, a thousand—times more of a man than you!” Tani could not believe Lorcan could be so cold, so selfish and uncaring toward the brother who had sheltered him from a life of deprivation and suffering. The brother who had saved him from the consequences of his actions, apparently more than once. “He took the blame for you, for a crime he didn’t commit. That’s not cowardly; that’s love in its purest form. How can you let him continue to suffer? You could have saved him. Your mother could have saved him. I don’t understand.”

  “And you probably never will, but that’s no concern of mine. All you need to know now is that I’m the one who controls your destiny. Remember that. Morana said you were my destiny and she was right and through you I will take my rightful place in the universe.”

  Tani shook her head. “No, you’re wrong. You’re not my destiny; you’ve never been my destiny. Morana…”

  “Forget Morana!” Lorcan spat. “She has no say in this anymore. Phenex has been on to her double dealing for a while now and she has more pressing concerns with the Vita Cruor.”

  A chill worked its way down Tani’s spine. If that was true, then Morana was in more trouble than she had previously suspected. The sanguini eldars of the Vita Cruor were not to be crossed. Any sanguini unfortunate enough to be called to their presence for wrongdoing was subject to not just the harsh restrictive laws of their society but also often slave to the whims of those ancients who enjoyed too much power. Having lived for millennia, the sanguini eldars were notoriously fickle. This was not good news, not just for Morana but also for Tani. It would be difficult to get access to her now and demand the answers she needed regarding Ziad’s whereabouts. Which begged another question—did the Vita Cruor also have Ziad?

  Tani bit her lip in frustration. Perhaps if she got a message to the Eunomi they could try to gain access to her. Other than that Morana was a problem for the back burner. She eyed Lorcan warily. “So what do you want with me, Lorcan? You must know by now that you’re not my Esseni duality. How did you fake the Taijitu anyway? It was very convincing.”

  Lorcan sneered. “It was easy. I ripped it from his flesh and sewed onto my skin. I used a warloki spell to create the illusion it was mine as it should have been by rights. That bastard isn’t worthy and his essence will belong to me soon anyway when he dies.”

  “You can’t kill him.”

  “So I’ve been told and I don’t intend to. That job will be done for me. Phenex is not happy with his former favorite. Jaro won’t last much longer.”

  “I would have thought Phenex would want to use Jaro’s Esseni power, sell him to Choronzon…” Her thoughts trailed off, eyes widening in realization at Lorcan’s scowling face. “Oh, Phenex doesn’t know about Jaro, does he? Does he know I’m an Esseni? What does he want me for?”

  “Phenex thinks with his dick,” said Lorcan. “He knows what you are but he wants to fuck you before he hands you over to Choronzon. I’m thinking I might have that pleasure first.” He loomed over her, grabbing her chin, eyes bright with hostility and something else that made her shiver. “Although I’m not sure I want my brother’s leavings.” She shook her head to escape his grasp and went for the jugular. “You can’t compete with your brother, Lorcan. No one can.” The blow when it came stung like a bitch, the sound of his palm hitting her cheek a reverberating crack that hovered malignantly in the air. The pain was nothing to her, dulled as it was by the satisfaction of seeing Lorcan rattled, his furious expression leaving her in no doubt that when it came to Jaro, Lorcan had no control. She stood defiant before him, refusing to cower. “Jaro is so much more than you in every department.” Her eyes raked him up and down, deliberately lingering on his crotch. Her insinuation nearly sent him over the edge.

  “A lot of good that will do him when he’s dead!” he hissed. “I will have the power. I will be the Esseni!” He was shaking with rage. Tani realized then that Lorcan was seriously unbalanced. His hatred of Jaro went beyond the bounds of normal sibling rivalry and jealousy, which made her wonder what else he had done to his brother over the years. She also realized she needed to calm him down. She spoke softly, looking directly into his eyes. “Even so, you must realize if you do become the Esseni you’re playing with fire. Once Phenex discovers it, he will sell you out.”

  “Huh! Phenex’s days are numbered. My mother has him in the palm of her hand. And when I am Esseni, Choronzon will be on his knees begging to use my power.”

  Tani blew out a soft breath, her mind whirling. So that was the way of it. Sitri and Lorcan were playing a deep game. If they were expecting to make a deal with the Discordant leader they were sure to get more than they bargained for. Her focus now was to keep Jaro safe but in protecting him from both Phenex and Sitri, she might just have to expose herself.

  A sudden knock at the door interrupted the conversation and she was saved from having to reply. The guard who entered whispered something in Lorcan’s ear that made him smile. It was not a smile that engendered any warmth but one of smug satisfaction. Tani could feel her heart racing. This did not bode well. “We are summoned to the great hall,” he announced suavely, reverting to the slickly false manner that made her blood run cold. “It seems we have a treat in store.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Betrayal

  This was not good. Tani knew instinctively that something was wrong the moment she crossed into the great hall. Lorcan was buzzing. He prowled alongside her, full of nervous
energy and excitement and causing the fine hairs on the back of Tani’s neck to stand to attention. Gray eyes that had always appeared calm and serious before were alight with a wild glow. Anticipation. Unholy glee.

  Uneasy but unwilling to show it, Tani stood still, praying that her body radiated a casual curiosity rather than intense suspicion. Lorcan took her hand, sending a shiver of revulsion coursing through her skin. How could she ever have considered him a gentleman, let alone her partner duality? Jaro was so much more…everything.

  “Lady Tanith.” He smiled a grin full of self-satisfaction. “Come. You’ll enjoy this I’m sure.” The hand that had grabbed hers dug sharp nails into her palm, so hard that Tani couldn’t hold back a gasp of pain. His smile grew wider. Oh yes. She knew now that Lorcan enjoyed inflicting pain. She could still feel the sting of his palm against her cheek. Steeling her nerve at the reminder of Lorcan’s unpredictability, she followed cautiously in his wake.

  They arrived at the dais where Phenex sat with his entourage. Morana’s empty seat a reminder that her absence was another indication of danger, that her promise to Tani she would be safe at the palace was a promise she could no longer fulfill.

  Aware she was under observation, Tani’s eyes locked on to two orbs of indigo, daggers of blue that stabbed at her chest. Sitri was present and mentally slicing her into pieces.

  Reaching the dais, Lorcan drew to a halt in front of Phenex and, letting go of Tani, he joined his mother. Phenex stood slowly, whispering into the ear of one of his shedu guards. Having given his orders, he walked toward Tani with open arms, his mouth twitching into a predatory grin that made even the shivers Lorcan had induced seem tame. The ensuing embrace as his arms encompassed her body left her in no doubt that Phenex had the strength to crush her like a roach beneath his feet if that was his wish.

  “My dear Lady Tanith. Thank Chaos for your safe return,” he thundered so all could hear. Then dipping so that his lips were level with his ear, he spoke softly for her alone. “I wonder if it is just to the gods that we should offer our thanks for your safety.” Stepping back slightly, Phenex held her gaze, leaving Tani in no doubt he was playing some kind of game, toying with her as a big cat might torture its prey before pouncing and tearing it to shreds. She stood tall and unflinching although her heart rate spiked. Adrenaline raced through her veins. She was a warrior of the Eunomi and would not cower.

  Phenex withdrew his gaze but caught hold of her arm, squeezing roughly as he turned his head. Murmurs rippled through the room and all heads turned with his to focus on some motion at the back of the hall. Tani had no choice but to turn her eyes to the source of the commotion. Blood drained from her body, legs nearly folding beneath her. Tani had never fought so hard to prevent herself from losing control, to quell the raging panic in her chest. Somehow she remained calm. Indifferent. Unfeeling.

  How she managed to watch, her face impassive while on the inside her heart wept, Tani would never know. Remaining still although every cell in her body trembled, she watched, riveted, as Jaro was dragged in on his knees, arms bound behind his back, a leash attached to a metal ring around his neck. She forced her feet to stay anchored as he was thrown literally in a heap at Phenex’s feet. Her nails dug into her palms, drawing blood while he was wrenched forcibly onto his feet, a shedu jerking his head back with tug of the chain. Staying still was the hardest thing she had ever done.

  Jaro never looked her way but he knew she was there. He couldn’t afford to register his awareness of her presence. Instead he focused the full force of his fury firmly onto his master, hatred burning through every cell in his body. Phenex was holding her! A red curtain slammed across his vision as rage swamped his reason. How dare he touch her! Jaro’s whole being vibrated with the need to pulverize, to annihilate. He wanted to kill Phenex in the worst way possible for staining her soft pure skin with his filth. But he couldn’t.

  Jaro choked back the churning bile of darkness that bubbled from his gut into his throat threatening to explode. Every fiber of his being urged him to attack and only the thought of her being hurt in the process stifled the change. He wouldn’t turn. Not now. Not yet. He couldn’t give Phenex the knowledge that he was a barghesti. Chaos only knew how he would use him then!

  Managing through gritted teeth to control the urge, Jaro focused on survival. If he attacked Phenex now he’d be a dead man.

  His master finally let Tani go and strode toward Jaro with the arrogant swagger he had seen many times before. He knew what was coming next. Jaro braced himself as Phenex smashed a fist into his gut; the blow leaving him winded and doubled over. Phenex kicked his legs away. He fell to the dust and was dragged by the hair, upright again so that Phenex could look him in the eye.

  Phenex sneered, his hooded eyes vicious with the need to inflict pain. He shook his head slowly and all at once Jaro knew. This was it. This was the end. Phenex was not going to merely torture him. He had gone a step too far.

  His master bent down, his foul breath assaulting Jaro’s air, his large hand grabbing Jaro’s neck in a chokehold. “Once too often, Jaro,” he hissed. “Once. Too. Often.” He withdrew his hand, letting Jaro go. Jaro returned his gaze, heart pounding in his chest. He would not flinch. Would not give him the satisfaction. Fuck! Phenex really meant it this time. He had no choice. Before he went he would have his revenge. His eyes flickered to his mother and brother. They were both smiling. Well, not for long. If changing and killing Phenex meant his death it also meant theirs.

  Phenex walked away from Jaro and Tani breathed a sigh of relief. She didn’t want to watch the horror Phenex was about to inflict on him but it only made her more determined to save him. She had to remain immune for now.

  Suddenly the air was wrought with tension so heavy that Tani felt suffocated, all the oxygen leaving her lungs when Phenex turned and spoke to the assembled crowd. “This slave has defied me once too often. I let him live because he served me well. Those who serve me well are rewarded.” He paused to let that sink in. “Recently this slave has failed me.” Phenex sneered at the crowd as they murmured their agreement. “Those who fail are weak and expendable. He no longer deserves my mercy.” The crowd buzzed with anticipation. They knew what to expect, their bloodthirst rising with Phenex’s command. “Kill him!” The two words rang clear and loud. Tani couldn’t breathe, her body shaking with fear as those two small words exploded in her chest, sharper than bullets ripping through her heart.

  “Wait!” She knew it was her voice even though it sounded disembodied. “My Lord Phenex, without this man I would still be a prisoner of Belial. He is the one who helped me escape.”

  The shedu guard who had drawn his sword paused and looked to his master. Phenex held up a hand. Tani froze and waited. After what seemed like hours Phenex spoke. “My lady Tanith, are you sure? This slave has betrayed me. He is insolent, disobedient. Shows no humility. How can he be responsible for your return?”

  “Without him I would not have escaped,” Tani asserted. “He protected me from rape by Belial’s men and guided me back here.”

  Phenex turned again, frowning, rubbing his bearded chin in false consideration. “Really? Because as I understand it, he returned here alone. As I recall you were found at Lady Morana’s house and escorted here by my guards. My guards!” His voice thundered. Phenex was on a roll. “This slave did not return you to me. He failed. You should never have been taken in the first place. He failed to stop the kidnapping and failed to bring you to me. I have shown him mercy once too often. He dies!”

  The shedu raised his sword and Tani panicked and did the only thing she could think of. “He’s barghesti!” she blurted out. “He’s a barghesti saevici!”

  The crowd rumbled with shock. Tani flinched inwardly, watching Phenex’s expression change from brutal viciousness to maniacal excitement as the knowledge of what that meant sunk in. A gasp erupted from the dais as Sitri rose shaking, her hands grasping the side of her chair. And Lorcan. She could hardly bear to look at his face so co
ntorted with furious hatred and jealousy that Tani wondered how she had not seen it before.

  Finally she turned to Jaro. What she saw in his face made her legs go weak. His mouth was drawn tight, his eyes blank and that was more frightening than the fury she could feel bubbling under the surface. Then slowly the stoic façade crumbled, his eyes turned wild and his expression grew savage. His head flew back and he unleashed a bloodcurdling roar that thundered, so loud it rocked the foundations of the palace. The crowd covered their ears as the force of Jaro’s rage crashed over them. And Tani watched, her heart breaking for the man she adored, unprepared for what happened next. Jaro’s mercury eyes savaged hers with a blaze of such hatred she felt her heart stop beating from the blow. His roar barreled through her skin and bone, slicing her open. She heard it but fought against believing it. “I will kill you for this, bitch! One day!” He was trying to turn, fighting against suppression spells being hurled at him by Phenex’s warloki. Tani’s eyes widened in horror, willing him to understand this was the only way to keep him alive. It was the only way she could save him.

  Tani was shaking. He didn’t understand. Her eyes pleaded with him to understand. She was trying to save him. Phenex would never kill a barghesti—he was far too valuable. She flinched as his words sliced her into tiny pieces. Words she would never forget. Tani watched the reactions of those around her play out in slow motion, died a thousand deaths as Jaro writhed in agony. Pain flooded her heart as she realized what she had done. It was the only thing she could have done to save him. But in doing so, she had condemned him. He would never forgive her; she see could see it in his eyes.

  She’d betrayed him. She’d told them he was a barghesti. Now he would never get the chance to kill Phenex. Why would she do that? Unless she was playing some deep game. Now Phenex would keep him drugged, use suppression spells to keep him in check and use him mercilessly whenever he wanted. He would be kept in a cage with the other slave saevici. At least as a normal slave you were allowed some freedom but now… He would rather have died taking Phenex with him than live that life. And she had done this. Done this to him! Condemned him to a life even more miserable than the one he was living now. His first instincts about her had been right. Love and hate warred within his chest. There could be no doubt that she was back with Lorcan. They had arrived together hand in hand and then she had allowed Phenex to paw at her. She was no victim. She was a bitch whore and he would kill her for this if only he got the chance.