Enemy through the Gates

by D T Dyllin

  “Oh hellz no,” Jenna interjected. I had almost forgotten she was standing there. “If he wants to be all creepy and stay in the hallway… fine. At least he has a leg to stand on with the whole future Guardian thing with that situation. But if my parents caught him in bed with you, no matter how platonic we all know it would be, there’d be no escape from punishment for any of us.”

  I raised my eyebrows at Bryn asking him a silent question. How platonic would it be now that we’d crossed that line? Would he be able to just hold me like he used to under the guise of friendship now that he knew that I loved him and wanted him back? From the tormented look on his face, I was guessing the answer was no. Was he imagining what it would be like to be naked in bed with me right now? I sighed loudly thinking about it myself.

  Jenna looked at me sharply. “Seriously… what is going on with you guys?”

  I forced a yawn. “Going back to bed now.” Luckily it was always easy to distract her.

  “Finally,” she muttered, flicking the hallway light off. I stumbled back into bed and crawled under the sheets, shutting my eyes against my pounding head.

  I thought that with how crappy I felt that the minute my head touched the pillow I would have had an instant ticket to dreamland, but instead all I could think about was Bryn. Bryn and his half undressed state currently residing right outside Jenna’s door. It was like the kiss we shared earlier had unlocked all these feelings that had been pent up for years. I sure would have liked to unwrap him as a birthday present. Ugh. I was starting to sound like Jenna. The fact was that I just wanted to be near him. Something that I always craved, it was just that now I actually knew my motivations.

  I stumbled out of bed again and crept back into the hallway. This time I had a pretty good idea where Bryn had situated himself so that I wouldn’t trip over him again. I heard him sigh in the dark as I dropped to all fours and reached my hand out to search for him. “What are you doing?” he whispered, tension evident in his voice.

  “Where are you?” I asked ignoring his question. I felt his hand take mine in response, tugging me forward. “You think Seers would have better night vision,” I grumbled. When I found him there in the dark, I pushed my way under his arm to snuggle up close to him. “I still don’t feel good.”

  “So go back into your nice comfortable bed.”

  “But you always make me feel better when I don’t feel good,” I pouted. I couldn’t even begin to count how many times we’d spent the night together with me in his arms. Of course things were a little different now, since we’d crossed a line earlier.

  “Things are different now,” Bryn said warily, saying the same thing I’d just been thinking.

  “So what? Now I can’t be close to you anymore?”

  “You know what I mean, Peej.”

  “Just hold me,” I snapped obstinately. I wasn’t going to let him push me away, literally, or metaphorically.

  I heard him sigh in the dark again just before his arms encircled me. I snuggled into his side, my head on his chest, and I brought one leg up and over his. I was happier than a clichéd bug in a rug. The tension I felt in his body only seemed to last a few minutes before his breathing became more even as he drifted off to sleep. Feeling so safe and content in his arms, I wasn’t far behind him.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Things were pretty awkward between Bryn and I that morning when we woke up. He still insisted on keeping his hands to himself, much to my chagrin. And as soon as he disentangled himself from me, he left so fast I was surprised there wasn’t a Bryn shaped hole in the door. When did things get so complicated? Oh that’s right—last night when I’d drank too much, stripped and threw myself at Bryn and then proceeded to puke and pass out in front of him as well. Talk about putting in a good nights work.

  I was currently getting ready for our family’s joint birthday celebration. It was generally pretty low key, just our families, a nice dinner, some cake and ice cream to follow and then of course presents. I usually had a pretty good time sharing the B-day spotlight with Bryn, but I had to wonder on how high the tension meter would be registering between us tonight. If the nervous flutter in my stomach was any indication—pretty high.

  “What’s wrong, peanut?” I lifted my eyes to see my mom standing in my bedroom doorway, her face reflected in the mirror of my vanity.

  “Nothing. Why?” I said absently as I set down the lip gloss I had just applied.

  “Oh I don’t know, maybe because I’ve been standing here saying your name for the last five minutes.”

  I gave my mom the best smile I could manage. “I just have some things on my mind. Nothing’s wrong exactly.”

  She gave me a knowing smile. “A boy wouldn’t have anything to do with what you’re thinking about? Hmmmm?”

  My mom was pretty cool as far as moms were concerned, but I also knew I couldn’t talk to her about Bryn. She wouldn’t approve of me wanting to be with him unless he suddenly became a Seer descendent or Gatekeeper. Even still, nothing wrong with testing the waters a little. “Well… I don’t know… it’s just… have you ever wanted to be with someone that wasn’t who everyone expected you to be with? You know, when you were younger, before dad?”

  My mom came further into my room and looked at me with understanding. “Oh I see. You have a crush on someone that you know you shouldn’t.”

  “Well… not exactly.” I knew no such thing. My feelings for Bryn were too right to be wrong—as cliché as it sounded.

  My mom sat down on my bed. “Let me guess… an ungifted human or a Guardian?”

  “How did you know?”

  She laughed. “Oh honey, the forbidden fruit is always the sweetest when we’re young. But those kinds of things pass, puppy love always does.”

  “But what if it doesn’t? What if it’s more than puppy love?” Too late for the what if it’s more than puppy love part.

  “Don’t be silly, of course it’ll pass.” She studied me for a moment before her smile seemed to up in wattage. “It’s about time I start setting you up with some eligible young men. Men who you could have a future with.”

  My mind flashed to Bryn telling me just last night that my feelings would all pass when my mom started setting me up, that I would move on and leave him behind. “Aren’t you worried about my feelings for this other guy?”

  My mom got up from my bed and headed to the door, turning to fix me with her gaze. “No. I don’t worry about you, honey, because when it comes down to it, I know you’ll do the right thing. I’ll see you downstairs when you’re ready.” She pulled my door shut behind her leaving me alone with my thoughts.

  My worst fears were coming to fruition. I was going to be set up with guys that weren’t Bryn, and I was expected to one day pick one of them. An arranged marriage it was not, but it suddenly felt eerily close. The thought of letting anyone else but Bryn touch me made me feel sick to my stomach. What was I going to do? And it wasn’t even an us against the world situation; currently it was just me against the world. I couldn’t even get Bryn to fight for me. That’s when it hit me, maybe if I could do that—get Bryn to fight for me, then at least we’d stand a chance. I smiled at myself in the mirror. I had a plan—finally.

  About thirty minutes later I made my way downstairs dressed like I was ready for a red carpet somewhere. I had decided that instead of my normal casual wear, to put on a party dress, it was a party after all. It wasn’t as tiny as the one I had on last night but it showed off what assets I had very nicely, and the green glossy material really made my green eyes pop. I also actually took the time to curl my hair and apply more makeup than just powder and lip gloss. I looked pretty damn good if I did say so myself.

  As I entered my living room, I felt all eyes turn to me, but my gaze sought out only one person. Bryn was sitting in his usual spot at the corner of the couch, a glass of soda in his hand, and when he saw me the smile on his face dropped. His cerulean eyes roved over my body from bottom to top, stopping to meet my eyes before qu
ickly looking away. And yet what I saw there before he turned away was exactly what I had been going for—possession. There was some small part of him that felt I belonged to him just like I felt he belonged to me, and seeing me dressed the way that I was made him actually want to—well—posses. I smiled to myself. Bryn is so toast.

  I was officially greeted with a chorus of Happy Birthdays before my mom ushered us all into the dining room for dinner. Bryn and I took our traditional seats next to each other in the center of the table. “What are you doing?” Bryn whispered.

  I smiled at him innocently. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”

  He quirked one dark eyebrow at me. “I don’t believe that for a second.”

  “What you choose to believe or not believe has nothing to do with me.” I widened my smile. “Now let’s just have a nice dinner and enjoy ourselves.”

  Dinner went pretty smoothly and I could tell Bryn was starting to relax a little. He even let me take his hand like I normally did. It was only when we were opening presents that things got more interesting.

  “Kevin,” my mom said conversationally to my dad, “I was just telling P. J. earlier that I think it’s time for us to start setting her up on dates with some proper young men… you know.” The ‘you know’ was the part that meant only Seer descendents and Gatekeepers were actually proper young men for me. It was very common with parents amongst our people to make introductions of the kind my mom was referring to. Parents paid attention when couples in my community had children, and they took notes as those children grew up. My mom probably had a list of guys that she thought I should give a chance… literally.

  “Sure,” my dad said.

  “It’s about time you started doing that. Some of the other Seers about P.J.’s age started already. You better get going before you miss out on someone good,” Bryn’s mom, of all people, chimed in. It was like they were talking about going shoe shopping or something. You better hit the sale before all the best shoes are gone.

  I looked at Bryn when I put my two cents in. “Sure. I’d love to, Mom. It’s not like I have any other prospects of my own to worry about. Not really.” Bryn dropped my hand and by the look on his face I could tell that was not the answer he had been expecting from me. “The sooner the better,” I added for more effect.

  “Oh good honey, I’ll get started right away.” My mom called over her shoulder as she headed back into the kitchen, “Anyone need anything while I’m in here?”

  “I’m going for a walk.” Bryn stood suddenly.

  “I’ll go with you.” I wasn’t going to let him get away that easily.

  “No,” he said.

  “Well why not?” I quirked an eyebrow at him in silent challenge. He knew he couldn’t make that big a deal about wanting to get away from me without raising some questions. His jaw ticked with tension and he turned and headed for the door without another word. Of course he knew I would follow him. “Me and Bryn will be back in a couple minutes,” I called to no one in particular. Bryn and I going off by ourselves was a pretty common occurrence and no one in either of our families would give it a second thought.

  I struggled in my high heels to keep up with Bryn at the brisk pace he was keeping. “Hey. Wait up,” I snapped.

  “And why would I do that when I’m trying to lose you?” Bryn snapped back ducking into the woods that sat across from my house.

  “Bryn, please.”

  He whirled back to face me, his face contorted in agony. “What the hell are you trying to do to me, Peej? Seriously… are you trying to punish me or something?”

  “No, I—”

  My words were swallowed up when his mouth found mine, his tongue forcefully pushing past my lips. His hands tangled in my hair, and just like the night before, I found myself pushed up against a tree by Bryn. The way that he was kissing me was different than before though, he was being more forceful, and there seemed to be an undercurrent of desperation. “I can’t lose you. I just can’t,” he rumbled into my mouth.

  I inwardly smiled. Had my plan worked that quickly? Had the mere threat of me being with someone else driven Bryn into my arms? Time to find out. “I wanna be with you Bryn. I don’t wanna be with anyone else. Ever.”

  He stilled for a moment, breaking our kiss and pulling back just enough so he could look into my eyes. “We’ll find a way. Somehow—we’ll find a way.” And then his lips sought mine out again. That was all I needed to hear. Bryn would fight for me. Somehow we would make it work.

  We stayed like that for I’m not sure how long, just making out furiously in the woods across from my house. But before things could progress much farther, Bryn pulled away, even with my protesting lips trying to ensnare his again. “Not like this. Your first time can’t be like this.”

  I tried to catch my breath as I gazed up into his beautiful blue eyes. My insides churned for him. “You can’t take it back. You can’t say we’ll find a way and then take it back. That would be even worse than if you’d never said anything at all.” It would kill me, but I left that part unsaid.

  He cupped my face in both of his large hands and spoke inches from my face. “No. There’s no going back. I want this.” He shook his head slightly. “No. I need this. I need you. I can’t imagine my life without you. Just being your Guardian isn’t enough—it’d never be enough.”

  “So what do we do?” I whispered. I hadn’t thought much beyond the getting Bryn to fight for me plan, and honestly I didn’t think it’d work so fast.

  “For now it has to stay a secret. We can’t tell anyone.”

  I nodded in agreement. “Of course.”

  “We’ll both be out of high school in a year, and then they can’t stop us—no one can stop us.”

  “But what about my mom and the dates…” My voice trailed off seeing the torment in his eyes.

  “You go. You pretend. We bide our time. And we do this— “He delivered me another long delicious kiss that left me feeling slightly dizzy, “—in secret.”

  “Okay.”

  His thumbs circled my cheeks. “I love you, Peej—so much it hurts.”

  I bit my lower lip as I looked up at him. His eyes spoke of promises, promises of hope and love, and I wanted nothing more than to drown in those promises. “I love you too.”

  “Come on.” He interlaced his fingers with mine and tugged me away from my now favorite tree in the whole world. “We better get back before they start to wonder what’s taking us so long.”

  CHAPTER SIX

  It was harder than I ever thought possible to keep things secret about what was going on between Bryn and I. Being with him all the time had become a different form of torture. Sitting so close to him, holding his hand—those things made me want to run my hands all over him—to explore the finely honed muscles that lay under his smooth pale skin, to kiss not only his lips but his sweet salty skin. I craved closeness to him, a closeness that I wasn’t even sure I understood, being that I was still a virgin. When I was around him it was if my skin hummed in anticipation of even the slightest touch from him, and when I looked into his dark blue eyes I knew he felt the same. We were in love, the kind of deep soul changing love that happens only once in a lifetime.

  That being said I was currently waiting to go on a date with someone my mom had set me up with. Someone that was not Bryn.

  I had chosen to wear black skinny dress pants, and a black and white striped one shoulder top, paired with black gladiator sandals. What I really wanted to be in was jeans and a t-shirt but I had to at least look like I was trying, for appearance sake. Bryn knew about the date, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was cheating on him. I wished that I’d never said anything to my mom. Instead of sitting on the couch waiting for my would-be suitor, I could be off with Bryn somewhere, feeling his full perfect lips pressed to my skin. I shuddered at the thought. I didn’t know how much longer I’d be able to keep our relationship under wraps with the way I felt about him. Sometimes it felt like every fiber in my bein
g cried out to be with him. How had no one picked up on that yet?

  The familiar sound of the doorbell caused a feeling of dread to snake up and take hold of my chest, it felt tight and restricted. I fought the urge to flee out the back door and run into the strong reassuring arms of Bryn, and the comfort I knew I would find in them. He’d seemed pretty cool about the date when I’d told him about it a few days ago, after all he knew we had to keep up appearances, to pretend that nothing had changed between us, but a part of me wished he’d appear in a jealous boyfriend rage and demand for me to not go on this date.

  “Honey, Jeremy is here,” my mom called to me, her voice much too cheery for my taste. I somehow managed to peel myself off the couch and trudge toward the front foyer. “Here she is,” my mom said cheerily. “P.J., this is Jeremy; Jeremy this is my lovely daughter, P.J. Don’t mind her, I think she’s a little nervous.”

  I glared at my mom. “I’m not nervous,” I said under my breath.

  “Hey. I’m Jeremy.” I looked up to meet the eyes of the boy who owned the voice. He had a pleasant enough face, sandy brown spiky hair, deep brown eyes set over a long straight nose, high cheekbones, full firm lips, and a square masculine jaw, quite handsome if I was being honest with myself. But he wasn’t Bryn.

  “Hey,” I replied coolly.

  My mom grinned at me, obviously feeling very pleased with herself. “Now you two have a good time.” She proceeded to usher us out the front door, closing it behind us with finality.

  “So…” Jeremy trailed off before clearing his throat. “I know this is kind of awkward but I thought we could go get something to eat and talk. Try to make this as painless as possible.”

  I hadn’t considered the possibility that maybe whoever I went out with wouldn’t exactly be thrilled to go on the date either. “Yeah, okay,” I said with a tentative smile. I followed him down to a dark green Rav4, probably his parents I noted, since it was the newest model, and I let him open and shut the door for me as I climbed into the passenger side. I waited in silence as he rounded the car, letting my gaze settle on a patch of trees by my house. I sucked in a surprised breath when I saw Bryn standing there. As my eyes met his, he stepped back farther into the shadows. My heart twisted in my chest from the tormented look on his face. Why had he come to see me leave for my date? Why would he do that to himself? I raised my palm to the window and touched my fingertips to it, wishing it were his face that I felt under my skin.