Kiss My Ash

by Leddy Harper

“Because…I was a fifteen-year-old snorting cocaine and popping pills, and you’re over here concerned about me driving without a license. I would think the other stuff is more disturbing than that.”

  “True, but still. I’m not following how that means you can’t kiss me.”

  That would be because she wasn’t aware of the legal binds that would put her in. Again, not something I planned to fill her in on. “It was enough to teach me a valuable lesson. There are consequences to us sleeping together, ones you probably haven’t given any thought to, and while I want nothing more than to be balls-deep in you, I refuse to create unnecessary problems down the road for either of us.”

  “Okay, but I’m not asking you to be balls-deep in me.” Her voice had grown low, almost husky with desire that didn’t quite match her words. “I’m talking about a kiss or a simple touch. You can hold my hand and say some of the dirtiest things, yet you won’t go beyond that.”

  Her breathing changed when I raked my fingertip along her inner thigh where she held our hands in her lap, but I acted like I didn’t notice and carried on with the conversation. “That’s because the line in the sand is nothing more than a bare thread, Kris. If I get too close, there’s nothing preventing me from taking it all the way. And I think it’s safe to say you won’t stop me.”

  “You should try and find out.”

  With my hand as close as it was to her center, I had to pull it away before I did something she’d never forgive me for. “That right there is the reason I can’t even kiss you.”

  “For your sake, you shouldn’t wait too long—I just might give up.”

  “If I were a betting man, I’d put money on the fact that you’re too invested to quit now.”

  “Damn you, Asher Jenkins.”

  All I could do was smile as I pulled into my driveway.

  Chapter Five

  Kristy

  In some strange twist of fate, when I woke up, I felt at ease with where things stood with Ash. Maybe it was our date last night, or possibly what he’d told me in the car on the way home. Whatever it was, the impatience I’d drowned in ever since deciding to go for it with him no longer suffocated me. It no longer threatened to pull me under until I went crazy with need.

  I still wanted him.

  Still woke up with an ache between my legs that only he could soothe.

  But I felt oddly okay with waiting for him to take things further.

  Although, that didn’t mean I would just sit in my room and stare at my phone until his number popped up. Just because I wasn’t compelled to throw myself at him every chance I got or beg for his touch as if I’d die without it didn’t mean I’d lost the desire to see him or hear his voice.

  Before I even got out of bed, I had his message box pulled up on my phone.

  Me: What are you doing today?

  One of the best parts of Ash was that he never made me wait long for a response.

  AJ: Working on a kitchen island for this sexy MILF who lives next door.

  I blushed, even though no one could see me or even knew what his text said.

  Me: You must really like her…or you really want to get in her pants.

  AJ: Guilty as charged

  I cursed at myself for offering two options when I really only wanted confirmation for one.

  Me: Want company??

  AJ: Depends…who do you have in mind?

  I both loved and hated how he made me feel like a teenager.

  Me: I asked around, nobody volunteered. Guess you’re stuck with me.

  While I waited for his message to come through, I went ahead and got dressed, fully prepared to walk across the yard to spend some time with Ash in his garage—even if I only got to watch him work.

  By the time I had my teeth brushed, my phone chirped.

  AJ: Are you wearing panties?

  Me: Why??

  AJ: If you are, you have to take them off before coming over. Dress code.

  Me: That doesn’t sound safe…

  AJ: Trust me, nothing is safe if you’re involved.

  After furiously typing and then deleting, I gave up on the phone and ran out the door, barely managing to get my flip-flops on my feet. Somehow, I made it to Ash’s garage without falling on my face.

  “What can I do to help?” I was out of breath and hoped he didn’t notice. But the second he glanced over his shoulder and took me in from head to toe like he always did, I lost that hope—there was no way he hadn’t noticed.

  Ash set down whatever tool he had in his hand and turned to face me, offering the smile that left my heart begging for more and my panties drenched. “That was fast.”

  I shrugged and took a few deep breaths before attempting to speak again. “What can I say? I didn’t have anything going on, and I thought you might’ve wanted some company. Seriously, put me to work. What can I do?”

  “You can stand there and talk to me so I don’t have to keep imagining your voice.” He winked and picked up the block wrapped in sandpaper. “How’d you sleep last night?”

  “Better than normal.” I couldn’t keep the smile off my face, and when he met my eyes, I could see he couldn’t, either. The things he’d texted me after getting home left me sated and thoroughly exhausted. “What about you?”

  He returned his attention to the large pieces of wood that formed what I could only assume was the top of my island and shrugged. “I must’ve woken up twenty times, so by six, I decided to give up and get to work.”

  “Why? I mean, why’d you keep waking up?”

  “My dick.” He huffed a laugh through his smirk and shook his head. “You kept me hard all night, Kris. I don’t think I’ve jacked-off this much since I was thirteen.”

  My face flamed, though not with embarrassment. It was heated with excitement. “Oh…well, I’d say sorry, but that would totally be a lie.”

  “Keep this up, and I doubt I’ll know what to do with the real thing.”

  I stepped to his side and propped my hip against the top he was in the middle of smoothing. “You know…the faster you get this island done, the faster you can have the real thing. You act like I’m the one making you wait. You only have yourself to blame.”

  “Yeah, and you’re not making it easy.”

  Lowering my voice so there was no mistaking the innuendo, I said, “I could make it a lot harder if you want me to.”

  “Fuck, babe.” Ash hung his head and growled, his knuckles white from gripping the sanding block so tightly. “Maybe having you here while I work isn’t such a good idea.”

  I knew he was only teasing, but still, I hated the way it made me feel—like my heart had been ripped out of my chest and torn into unrecognizable pieces. To hide the discomfort of his words, I played along. “If that’s what you really want.”

  Slowly, I put one foot behind the other, only taking two steps before he intervened.

  He turned toward me and bent at the waist. Without warning, he slung me over his shoulder. At first, I laughed. It had been a while since someone had tossed me around like this. But the second his giant palm landed on my ass, all amusement vanished. That one slap filled me with intense heat and forced a thunderous moan past my lips. At the sound of it—or maybe the vibration against his shoulder—he nearly stopped moving.

  “Kris,” he warned in a heady rumble as he slid my body down the front of his.

  I didn’t recall him walking very far, though now, we stood in the rear corner of the garage, hidden by organized racks of tools and supplies. It was like he’d taken me to an alternate universe, one where I could have my fill of him without anyone seeing. I didn’t have to worry about one of our neighbors catching me touch him and question what I was doing with someone so young. I didn’t get bogged down in the fear of a rumor starting and Emma finding out about my tryst with the man who was only a few years older than her and her friends. I could explore him the way I wanted without a single doubt in my mind.

  And that’s exactly what I did.

  I began b
y running my hands along his chest, practically memorizing the dips and valleys of each muscle before dragging my fingertips to his stomach to count his abs. I traced each line while he stood in front of me, propping himself with both hands against the wall that held me upright. But once I got to the waistband of his cargo shorts, I trailed my attention back up his body to his neck.

  I’d completely lost my grip on reality as I stepped into him, fisting the sides of his shirt while settling my face against the center of his chest. It wasn’t until he growled that I even realized I’d closed my eyes, and by then, I had already filled my lungs with his masculine, soothing scent. Just holding myself against him made me feel safe, as if nothing and no one in the world could touch me. And even without the feel of his hands on my body, I sensed his desire, yet it wasn’t lust like I had expected.

  That’s when my world tipped and spun out of control.

  This thing with Ash was no longer about getting off, about finding someone to tend to the needs that hadn’t been met in years. What had started out as desperation to have a man touch me, want me, scratch the itch that had threatened to consume me, had grown into something so much more. And I wasn’t sure I could handle it.

  At the same time, I wasn’t sure I could give it up, either.

  “This is so bad,” I whispered against him, more to myself than him.

  “Kristy,” he groaned again, though this time, it sounded much closer to my ear. He’d dropped his head and leaned into me, yet his hands remained propped on the wall rather than holding me to him like I desperately wished for. “This is about to get really bad if you don’t stop.”

  I knew I needed to. I needed to step away and go home. But I couldn’t. I refused to give this up, especially so soon after realizing how tangled up in him I’d become. There was a good chance this would be the end of it all. That he’d understand the shift in my desire and cut me off. And that was something I wasn’t ready to risk quite yet.

  “I just need another minute, Ash. Please.”

  With that, he dropped his arms, his hands settling at the base of my spine before lazily falling to my ass. At first, he just held them there, but then his biceps tensed and his grip grew stronger. A split second later, he pulled me against him in what could only be described as frantic need.

  “This wasn’t supposed to happen,” I whispered, unable to use my voice.

  “This can’t happen.”

  We were talking about two different things, and while I yearned to correct him, fear choked me into submission. Instead, I lifted my chin to hide my face in the crook of his neck and asked, “Can we just pretend for a little while longer?”

  Ash must’ve lost his balance, because in an instant, he fell forward, pinning me between the wall and his body. Although, he never released his death grip on my lower back or allowed any space to come between us. “What are we pretending, Kris?”

  The anguish in his tone cut through me, leaving me to bleed out at his feet. In that instant, I realized he knew exactly what I was talking about, and just maybe, he wanted the same things. Although, I still wasn’t sure why he was so determined to fight it.

  My hesitation must’ve been too much for him to handle, because he added, “Tell me what to pretend, and I’ll do it.”

  “That this is okay. That you want this as much as I do and won’t push me away anytime soon. That if someone were to see us like this, no one would care or say anything or turn around and gossip about the woman who took advantage of a younger man.”

  Without warning, he grabbed the backs of my thighs and lifted me off the ground until I had my legs secured around his middle, my ankles crossed at his lower back. In this position, we were face to face, and nothing gutted me more than the war brewing in his eyes.

  I cupped his jawline, taking a moment to absorb the storm settling in behind the faint orange glow in his irises. The urge to calm his fears was strong, yet I was powerless to do anything about it.

  Finally, he brought his mouth closer until his breaths drifted along my lips. He had his forehead rested on mine with his eyes shut and every muscle in his body coiled tight. “We won’t have to pretend, Kristy. We can have that…if you want it.”

  I paused to question myself, to dig deep and find the truth that had lodged itself inside my chest, taking up residence in each beat of my heart. And that’s when I understood his request to wait, to discover more about each other. While we’d talked a lot over the last couple of weeks and learned things about one another we wouldn’t have otherwise, there was still so much I wanted to know. It was as though we were on the cusp of something greater, and if we simply held on for a little while longer, we could have it all.

  Nodding, I whispered, “Yes, Ash. I want that. But—”

  He silenced me with the barest graze of his lips against mine. It wasn’t a kiss, not even enough to taste him, but it sufficiently forced my argument down and tamed the negativity that bred inside me.

  “Then we’ll have it. Once I finish with your island. Bear with me, babe. That’s all I ask.”

  “Okay.” As soon as that one word left my tongue, Ash sucked in a deep breath, swallowing my acceptance as if it were a key he never planned to return. “Just promise you won’t take long.”

  “I’ll have it finished as soon as I can. I swear.” With that, he lowered me to my feet and forced himself to back away. “As much as I enjoy your company, I’ll never get anything done with you here.”

  His smile almost seemed forced or strained, but once I noticed the impressive bulge in his shorts, I understood why. My cheeks flushed, and I could only imagine their crimson hue, but I didn’t let that stop me from making eye contact with him.

  “You plan on taking care of that?” I pointed to his covered erection.

  Without dropping his gaze, he cupped himself, lifted his brows quickly, and muttered, “As soon as you tell me if you followed the dress code today.”

  My smile stretched wider no matter how hard I fought to control it. “I haven’t put any on since your bedtime story last night.”

  His brown eyes darkened as he clenched his jaw, his chest vibrating with an animalistic rumble of desire. “You’re gonna fucking kill me, Kris.”

  “Then I suggest you hurry and build that thing, Ash.” I closed the distance between us and lifted myself onto my tiptoes, bringing my lips to his ear to whisper, “In the meantime, go take care of yourself while picturing my bare ass sitting on the finished countertop, legs spread, waiting for you to devour me.”

  I walked away with the sound of his growl curling my lips.

  * * *

  “Hey, babe…do you have any plans for this evening?” Ash’s deep voice floated through the speaker on my phone, filling my bathroom as I shaved. I’d made a habit of ensuring my legs were always silky smooth, considering I never knew when his restraint would snap, and I wanted to be prepared in the event it wasn’t planned.

  “No. Once again, Emma’s ditching me for her boyfriend.” I wouldn’t have cared, but Ash’s dad had asked that he spend the evening with him, which meant I would have to watch the fireworks all by myself this year. “Did your dad say what he wanted to do tonight?”

  “Same as every year—set off the biggest finale anyone’s ever seen,” he said in what I could only assume was an impersonation of his father’s voice. “I’ve tried to get out of it a hundred times, but the old man just won’t let me. Apparently, we started a tradition when I was a baby, and now he thinks we have to do it every year.”

  “What about the years between the divorce and you moving in with him?”

  “Ironically, Fourth of July was the only holiday we consistently spent together. For some reason, the man always made sure he was available for Independence Day but not Christmas or birthdays. Don’t ask me why…I’ve never been able to figure it out.”

  “Well, I guess you can’t complain. At least he reserved one day out of the year for you.” I didn’t want him to think that was meant as a lecture, so I added, �
��We can see each other when he leaves. Remind me again when that is?”

  His throaty laughter drifted through the line, causing my nipples to instantly harden despite the warm water I sat in. “Sunday morning. Not soon enough. I feel like I haven’t seen you in weeks.”

  “We’ve managed to survive the last four days with nothing more than calls and texts, Ash. What’s one more night?” His dad had gotten into town late last night, though we’d decided to keep a good amount of distance ever since our moment in his garage on Saturday. “Does this mean you’re done with my table?”

  “No. I just want to see you. Am I not allowed to miss the sound of your voice when it’s not through a phone?”

  I might’ve literally swooned.

  “Well, I’m in the tub shaving. We could always video chat.”

  “Fuck no,” he growled. “That would get out of hand.”

  “Not in hand?” I was playing a dangerous game, but I couldn’t help myself.

  “Do you shave your pussy or trim it? Or neither?” His deep voice went straight to my core and left me panting with need.

  “Um…” I glanced down—not sure why, considering I looked at it every day, so I had no need to check before answering. Yet the idea of saying the wrong thing left me paranoid about turning him off. “Trim?”

  “You don’t sound very confident about that.”

  I dropped my head to the back of the tub and closed my eyes. “I trim. I’m positive about that. I just wasn’t expecting you to ask, is all.” I swallowed thickly and went for it. “What about you?”

  His airy laughter swarmed me with comfort. “I keep it neat, but I have an issue with genitals—either gender—looking prepubescent. I like hair, just not a lot of it.”