Don't Stop Holding Me (Y.A Series Book 5)

by Sarah Tork

  On one hand I was deathly afraid of being old me again. The next, I was deeply afraid of turning into a girl who wasn’t strong enough. It didn’t shock me to discover I had an addictive personality, but that didn’t mean I had to let it suppress my will into submission. I just had to remind myself…

  Stop thinking, crazy! You’re on a date with your boyfriend!

  I needed a hug. James was on slice five, but he stopped to breathe and to drink some water. He noticed me staring at him and put his water down. “What?” He grinned, wiping drops of water from the corner of his mouth.

  We were sitting close by each other, but I wanted extreme closeness. I wanted him to be a part of me. I’d be that “no frigs given PDA Queen”, all in favor of the ultimate remedy. I turned my body and wrapped my arms around him, resting the side of my head on his shoulder. I inhaled his scent and it felt like home, warm in my soul, my mind was at ease… all that kind of stuff. James was a reinforcement no resistance could match.

  This kind of affection went beyond lust, to a place that was both uncomfortable and scary, because it meant “love”, and “love” was the scariest feeling of them all.

  James looked at me softly. “You okay, Fireball.”

  I sighed and held him tighter. I wanted to be extra cheesy and tell him that as long as I was right here, with him, like this…. I’d be okay.

  But, I needed to chill out.

  “I’m cool. You smell nice.” I said, stifling a smile.

  “I do smell nice.” James concluded.

  “What shampoo and cologne do you use again? We need to combine them and market it. We’ll make a killing.” I smirked, leaning back.

  James smirked. “There’s no shampoo or cologne for this scent, baby. This is what a man smells like.”

  I laughed. “Dear god. Then it must be what cocky smells like, too.”

  “It’s only the truth,” He flexed his arms out. “They don’t make ’em like me, babe.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, you’re one of a kind.”

  “You better not be making fun of me.” James warned playfully.

  “Me?” I picked up my slice. “Never.”

  James wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in as I took a bite of my pizza. “You’re cute, you know that.”

  “Ahem,” someone interrupted. We glanced up and our waitress stood by our table, staring at us angrily. “You guys can’t do that funny stuff in here. We’ve got a code of conduct. No explicit PDA’s.”

  James slowly let me go.

  “We weren’t doing anything.” I told her, feeling annoyed.

  “You were practically making out.” She stated nastily. “You can’t act like that. It’s not right. And, I mean, you’re not even adults. You’re stupid teenagers. I mean, what would your parents think if they knew you were acting like this in public?”

  “Geez lady, we were only hugging.” James added, shaking his head. A short man wearing a white apron came rushing out from the kitchen.

  “Ronda,” he hissed at her. “Get back in the kitchen. Now.”

  “I wasn’t doing anything wrong, Burt. Right is right, and wrong is WRONG!” Ronda screeched. She rushed away like a spoiled brat, banging the door on her way inside the kitchen.

  Wow, what the hell was that? Clearly, I’m not one to talk, but damn, that girl’s got issues.

  Burt faced us, looking embarrassed. “Sorry about that. She’s going through a rough time right now. Her boyfriend dumped her last week and she’s taking it out on every couple that’s been holding hands and making goo- goo eyes. It hasn’t been pretty. Anyways, twenty percent off your meal for the trouble.”

  “Cool,” James said.

  “Thanks,” I added.

  Burt fixed us a new bill and dropped it on our table. I grabbed the bill and took my debit card from inside my pocket.

  “Don’t even think about it, Fireball.” James reached for the bill, but I held my arm back. “Give it to me.”

  “No,” I said. “You paid last time. I wanna pay.”

  James sighed. “Just give me the bill. Come on.”

  “What’s the problem?” I exhaled a long breath. “What’s wrong with me paying this time?”

  “Because,” James took the bill from my grip. “You’re my girl,”

  “And?” I cringed.

  “And, my girl’s not gonna pay for me.” James sneered, shaking his head. He took a twenty out from his wallet and placed it on top of the bill. He slid out of the booth. “Any guy who’d let his girl pay for him is the biggest pussy in the entire world. It’s a fucking disgrace.”

  Hello, Mr. Caveman…

  I slid out of the booth right after him. “You can’t be serious,”

  James took my hand and led me outside. But it began raining hard, so we made a run for his car. He unlocked his car with his fob and we quickly jumped inside.

  “James,” I started to say but he pulled me in for a long kiss. I pulled back, breathing hard. “That won’t stop me from bringing it up again.”

  “It’s not a big deal.” he murmured. “Let’s just move on from this stupid subject… come on.”

  I decided to concede. It wasn’t worth the fight. “Alright.”

  He took me to his grandfather’s house and showed me his room in the spacious basement. It was bigger than his room at his father’s house, and it also looked homier. He also had his own bathroom. And to top things off, by his bedroom was a full on rec room, which included a large sectional dark grey couch, an eighty inch flat screen, and game consoles galore. Yep, this was the definition of heaven, I mean, in comparison to his last residence. But besides all that, there was a new problem now, and it started right after I entered his bathroom, turned the lock and looked at my half naked body.

  My belly button was alive.

  Insert “crazy Annabelle” here.

  Belly button wars commence….

  “Hello, hello? I’m the banana’s belly button. The little bulge may expand on occasion, depending on my mood and what’s digesting inside banana’s intestines. After eating that pizza earlier, forget about seeing me flat, or somewhat flat. This small bulge will be here for the rest of the night!”

  I cringed at my reflection. “Disgusting.” I whispered.

  Three knocks on the door brought me back to Earth.

  James’s voice came muffled through the doorway. “What are you doing in there?”

  I cleared my throat. “Nothing,”

  “Who were you talkin’ to?” James asked. I grabbed one of his shirts hanging by the tub. It was clean, so I yanked it on and it went over my thighs like a dress.

  “Nobody.” I opened the bathroom door and walked out.

  “I heard you talkin’ to someone,” James stated. He stood shirtless, wearing only his black sweats. He looked like a slimmed down beefcake, all muscly with smooth tan skin. But none of that influenced me. His tone of voice was pissing me off.

  “Who could I have been talking to?” I snipped. “My phone’s not even with me.”

  “You’ve been texting like crazy since we got here,” he spat.

  “I was texting Jenna. I told you already.” My heart began to pound and I felt like my blood pressure was rising. “Why are you questioning everything I do?”

  That took him aback. I knew his personality, and being challenged annoyed him. I was the queen of transparency, but right here, so was he. His demeanor quickly transitioned back to cocky, asshole, douchebag James.

  “I’m not questioning everything you do.” he snapped in defense, making it sound like I was the one blowing things out of proportion.

  Which was totally not true.

  Because I wasn’t.

  That’s for damn sure.

  “Yes you are.” I snapped back. “Did I do that to you before? You’re the one with the shady past, not me.”

  James scowled, but it read more like bewilderment. That lasted for a grand total of two seconds before King James graced me with his presence, in all his me
ssed up glory.

  “I don’t need this shit.” he growled on the low.

  King James charged out of his bedroom, leaving me fuming, now. Did he just walk out on me during a fight? I heard his game console turn on and my heart sank to the pit of my stomach. One second of miscommunication had turned our nice evening into a mess. And now there was awkwardness. I peeked on him. He was chilling on his couch, without a care in the world killing zombies from outer space. Him all relaxed made me very angry, so I marched up to him.

  “Why are you acting like such an asshole?” I snapped at him, but he kept his focus on the flat screen. He was ignoring me. I knew my face was turning red. I felt hot, like I was on the verge of exploding. Ten seconds of being ignored was all I could take. I rushed back inside his room and sat on his bed, feeling like I was also about to burst into tears. My phone was on his bedside table. It buzzed, chiming with an incoming text. I took it off the table and blinked in shock.

  Dean: Hey?

  Annabelle: Hey.

  Dean: I’m sorry about the last time we spoke.

  Annabelle: I’m sorry too. I was a bitch.

  Dean: And I was an asshole. Can we start over?

  Annabelle: I don’t know. It’s complicated.

  Dean: What’s so complicated? We can’t be friends because you have a boyfriend?

  Annabelle: No that’s not it. You and James aren’t exactly on the best of terms.

  Dean: But that’s not my fault. He’s the one always attacking me and my friends, trying to prove how much better he is. It makes no sense. Every single time, we’ve literally just been trying to mind our business, but he wants to start something, and degrades us in public. We’ve had no choice but to stand up for ourselves. You get that right?

  Annabelle: I get it. I’m sorry for what you and your friends have gone through.

  Dean: It wasn’t you who did it.

  Annabelle: I know.

  Dean: Anyways, can we move on from all that?

  Annabelle: I’d like that.

  Dean: What are you up to tonight?

  Annabelle: Oh nothing much, just chilling around.

  Dean: You want to go see a movie?

  Annabelle: Um…

  Dean: I mean, what I meant to say was, do you want to go see a movie with me and a few friends. It’s a group thing.

  Annabelle: I don’t think they’d want to chill with me. I mean, I’m kind of like the enemy?

  Dean: What? No, it’s not like that at all. They’re cool.

  Annabelle: Won’t it be awkward?

  Dean: No, they know you.

  Annabelle: What? How?

  Dean: Well…. I kind of told them about you a while ago. And you met some of them when you came with me to O’Reilly’s in September. They think you’re cool.

  “What are you doing?”

  I looked up from my phone and James stood by his door with his arms crossed, staring at me intensely.

  “Why do you care? Don’t you have zombies to kill?” I sneered at him and typed something quickly to Dean who’d already sent me three text messages.

  Dean: Anna?

  Dean: Hello?

  Dean: Hey, where’d you go? I hope I didn’t scare you off?

  Annabelle: Sorry about that. And no you didn’t. But something’s come up and I gotta go, TTYL

  Without waiting for Dean to reply, I turned off my messages and put my phone on silent.

  “Who were you texting?” James asked.

  “None of your business,” I answered, getting up and finding my clothes. I peeled off his shirt and put my shorts, t-shirt and jean jacket back on. I marched up to him, but he wouldn’t move out from the doorway. “I’m going home. Move out of the way, please.”

  It may have come out a bit snide and bitchy, but I didn’t care. He totally ignored me ten minutes ago, playing video games instead of dealing with our “miscommunication”. I was done with tonight. I’d make up another excuse to give my parents on why I was coming home early.

  “Move.” I demanded.

  He crossed his arms over his chest. “No,”

  My nostrils flared as I inhaled air to calm down. “Do it now.”

  “Make me,” he smirked right in my face.

  My heart raced, but I took a step back anyway. “Don’t think I won’t. I’m not scared of you. I’ll kick your ass.”

  He straightened his posture and took a step back. “Wow… you’re acting crazy.”

  “You’re the psycho!” I snapped at him. “Get out of my way, you – asshole!”

  His jaw dropped. “And you’re the one swearing at me, as well as keeping secrets.”

  My eyes widened in fury. “Me? The one keeping secrets… from you?”

  “That’s right,” James nodded, pretending to be all innocent.

  I took another step back and pointed at him with disgust. “You’re the one in this relationship who has kept secrets. Look in the mirror.”

  “You gonna bring that up for the rest of our lives?”

  Huh? What? For the rest of our lives? What’s that mean? Does it mean he wants to be with me forever?

  I gulped and lowered my tone. “What?”

  His breathing turned harsh. His chest was moving in out. “I said, are you going to bring what happened in the beginning of us, for the rest of our lives?”

  “What do you mean, the rest of our lives?” I asked again.

  He said nothing, but his eyes screamed “Mistake,”

  Maybe I misinterpreted?

  Oh god, I freaking misinterpreted him!

  My face heated to max. While James stumbled to say something back to me, I saw that I had a perfect opportunity to make a run for it. Now more than ever. I sped around him, but it only took him a millisecond to recover from his stupor. Two steps into the rec room, his arms were around me and we went flying on top of the sectional, with him on top of me.

  “Ugh, get off me.” I groaned, trying to push his big monkey butt off me. He did this karate move thing which turned us around, placing me on top of him now. He held my arms and wrapped his legs over mine to keep me from escaping.

  “This isn’t what I meant. Let me go, monkey boy.” I moaned, beginning to lose my breath from fighting him.

  “Monkey? Baby, I’m a tiger.” James grinned. “I’m Tiger, right?”

  “No,” I shook my head. “You’re Monkey, now. I’m calling you that from now on.”

  James shook his head playfully. “Tiger,”

  I shook my head, narrowing my eyes in a death ray kind of way. “Monkey.”

  “Tiger.”

  “Monkey.”

  “Tiger.”

  “Monkey.”

  “Tiger!” he screeched comically. Though I was too annoyed to see past my rage.

  “Monkey!” I yelled at him.

  No response. He stared at me with this contagious goofy smile that disarmed my reserves, leaving me helpless to his charms. Hell, everything about James affected me. So not healthy.

  “What are you staring at?” I whispered.

  “I’m staring at my girl.” he answered.

  “That’s cheesy,” I whispered.

  James shrugged. “Privacy allows me the privilege of cheese. I’ll be a pussy in private. Just don’t tell me my boys.”

  “I make no promises.” I said.

  James ran his fingertips across my forehead, moving my hair to the side. His grip loosened and he moved over so I could lie next to him. He buried his face in the curve of my neck, giving me one kiss before pulling back. I turned my neck and faced him. “Why do I have the feeling you need to say something?”

  James draped his arm over my waist and pulled me closer to him. “I’ve told you it before, Fireball.”

  I shrugged. “Told me what?”

  “Don’t play dumb, you know exactly what I’m talking about.” James said. “I said it before. That it’s me and you, forever.”

  I exhaled nervously. “People make promises all the time.”

  He look
ed serious. “You think I’ll break it?”

  “I don’t know now. Things happen in life, right?” I sighed. “And…”

  James sneered, interrupting me. “And, and, and…what?”

  “And…. crap, I don’t know.” I chuckled nervously. “Didn’t I just meet you in August? I mean, we kind of, barely know each other.”

  “So.” James said. “That doesn’t mean you don’t love me?”

  “Duh,”

  “What’s time got anything to do with anything?” James stated. “Geez, Fireball. I sound like a fucking magazine article right now. The guys will never let me hear the end of it, if they find out.”

  I chuckled hard. “Then play your cards right, and no one will ever know that James Lawson likes to read magazine articles about relationship advice.”

  “For fucks sake,” James cringed, shaking his head in horror.

  I got up quickly from the couch and stood in front of him. I had a few things I desperately needed to share.

  “I feel like… I don’t really know anything about you, besides the fact that your family life is messed up, you love baseball, you’re cocky as hell, and being popular comes easy to you… but nothing else.”

  James sat up. “You forgot one thing,”