Don't Stop Holding Me (Y.A Series Book 5)

by Sarah Tork

  I exhaled in frustration. “And that you love me, I know that. I thought it was a given.”

  James stood up and shook his head. “What? No, that’s not it. My favorite food is pizza. Geez Fireball, it’s embarrassing you don’t know this already. How do you not know that James Lawson loves his pizza? I am beyond disappointed. Tells me one thing… you don’t really know me at all.”

  I hit his shoulder.

  “Ouch, that’s abuse.” James held his arm, acting like I’d actually wounded him.

  “No, it’s not. James, take this seriously. Of course, I know that. I know things about you, but I feel like your friends know more than I do. I want to know what your hopes and dreams are. I mean…. I know you want to play professional baseball when you’re older, and that you like action movies, but what I don’t know is… if you like other genres, too. Like comedy, or drama, or sci-fi.”

  Am I going overboard? Defo being way too dramatic.

  James cringed. “I already have enough drama in my life. And hey, our first movie together was a scary one.”

  “Yeah, but I don’t know if even you like scary movies.” I groaned and stormed back inside his room. I fell face first over top his bed and groaned again. I felt him plop down right beside me and hug me close.

  “Damn, Fireball. You’re obsessed with me.” James smirked next to my ear. “I don’t blame you. I’d want to know more about me, too.”

  It was my turn to cringe hard. “What?” I leaped up from his bed and crossed my arms over my chest. “Question, genius. What’s my favorite genre?”

  “Genre?” James squinted, resembling the quintessential dumb jock persona to a T. “What’s a genre?”

  “You’ve got to be kidding me.” I hissed in awe.

  He broke character and turned on his back, crossing his arms behind his head for support, with a smile on his face. “Relax…I know what genre means. Geez, Fireball. I had no idea you thought I was that stupid.”

  I rolled my eyes. “No comment,”

  We’re stuck in this awkward moment of silence. He stared at me peculiarly from his bed while I stood in front of him, unsure of what my next move should be. I yanked off my jacket because I was beginning to get anxious, but then James got off his bed and came to me, wrapping his arms underneath my bottom and hoisting me up in his arms.

  “That’s better,” he mumbled.

  I held his shoulders for support. “What do you think you’re doing?”

  “I’m holding my girl,” he murmured and took me to bed, placing me over top it carefully, and then propped himself over top me. “You got a problem with that.”

  I was done thinking for the night. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him down. “I’ve got many problems.”

  “Good, tell me about ‘em later.” James murmured and then kissed me hard on the lips. It was hot and wild, eradicating every common-sense nerve in my body, because all I wanted was his body. His arms tightened over my waist, pulling me closer. We kissed harder, like it was our only way to breathe. James pulled back and panted. I sat up and pulled my shirt off while he took his pants off, leaving him bare, which caught me off guard for a second. But I got over it.

  Usually the lights were off by the time we got to this point, and the fact that they were on still… was crazy.

  I pulled my shorts off, leaving me in only my undergarments, but James helped with eliminating them from our equation. He tossed them with the rest of our clothes on the floor.

  “You’re so sexy,” he whispered in awe, making me self-conscious. I wanted to cover myself immediately. I’ve never felt so vulnerable and exposed. James pressed himself against me and started kissing me. His hand trailed down my body, feeling every inch of my waist and my breasts. I held his shoulders, almost lost in the moment, but the lights being on were really bothering me.

  “James? James?” I pulled back and panted a little.

  “What?” he panted.

  “Can we turn off the lights?”

  “Why?”

  “Because, I like it better in the dark.”

  “But this way… I can see you.” he said sweetly.

  Lights on, it is. I nodded, complying. Kissing resumed, and groping went to a new level.

  “I love you,” he whispered.

  “I love you, too.” I whispered back, lost in euphoria as he sucked the curve of my neck, kissing up my jaw, around my lips, my cheek, covering every inch of my face with his mouth. He touched my breasts and that took me close to the edge… but not quite, thank god. I wasn’t ready for this to be over just yet. I ran my fingertips across his back, down the curve of his hip, and then down the back of his thigh. He pressed himself more against me and that worried me because with each push came more temptation to let go and let whatever may happen… happen. But that wasn’t good, at least not for me.

  I pulled back again. “James… condom.”

  “No,” he whispered and continued to kiss me wildly.

  Hold on a second.

  I pulled back again. “No?”

  “I don’t want to wear one.” he declared. “This feels amazing, like this.”

  I shook my head. “It’s too dangerous like this.”

  “It’s not,” he shook his head, pushing himself against me again. He was playing with fire now. “It’s not dangerous,” he declared again.

  “It is,” I said. “Do you want me to get pregnant?”

  He shrugged. “I wouldn’t mind if you were.”

  His answer left me bewildered. “Okay… what?”

  “I wouldn’t care if you got pregnant,” he whispered.

  I shook my head. “You say that now, but when it actually happens you’ll be thinking something else.”

  He cringed. “Like what?”

  I stared hard at him. “Like… how’d you get yourself in this mess.”

  “You think I’d actually be like that?” James pulled back, looking offended. “You don’t think I’d man up and take care of my kid?”

  Alright… now I really felt exposed. I pulled the blanket over top me and shook my head. “That’s not what I’m saying. I just think we should be safe.”

  “I’d take care of my kid, with everything I had. I’d be a good dad.” James declared with conviction.

  We stared at each other for what seemed to be an eternity, but really it was only half a minute, maybe.

  “I believe you,” I said slowly.

  Warm vibes somewhat emerged from its brief stay in Confused City. James crawled back over and pulled the blanket off me, leaving me exposed once again. My head hit the pillow, and James took his place back overtop me. He kissed me on the lips once and reached over his bedside table and pulled a condom wrapper from inside the drawer. Once things were in place, he embraced me again, and I was more than ready for him. It stung at first, but it got better the more we relaxed. I felt like I was going to explode as James began to move faster. I wrapped my arms over his waist and pulled myself closer as he hugged me harder, panting and kissing my neck while I stared at the ceiling, completely lost in one movement after the next, wishing it would last, because I liked how it felt. Really liked it.

  “Don’t stop,” I whispered, my fingers raking though his sweaty hair, massaging his head. “Hold me like this forever.”

  “I won’t ever let you go,” he whispered, slowing down to make it last. “I love you.”

  “And I love you.” I whispered back.

  His movements were now methodical, and we savored each moment. James kissed me, and I got lost in his kiss like never before. I wanted his mouth over every inch of my body. I wanted to kiss him everywhere. Only my lips were allowed on him, like only his lips were allowed on me.

  “This is mine,” James growled.

  “It’s yours.” I stated.

  James kissed me harder. “I’ll kill anybody that ever touches you.”

  “Nobody can.” I panted. “Nobody can.”

  Methodical movements were out the door. He moved fast
er and I held on tighter, feeling on the brink of flight, going to a place I couldn’t have enough of. Anxiety filled most of my days, but being here with James, like this, left me with memories that helped me through my day at times.

  Hours later we’re still in bed and it’s feel good vibes for life, or at least for tonight.

  Relaxing.

  Chilling.

  Joking.

  In the middle of laughing at his impression of Mr. Nolan, I remembered something. “News flash, Jenna and Tom were at Yogurty’s while you and me were at the restaurant.”

  Crazy.

  “Really?” James smirked a little. “Damn, guess it was a good thing we didn’t go for frozen yogurt after dinner then.”

  I loved being here, with him, like this.

  It felt like heaven.

  I wanted everyday to be like this.

  I wanted feel good vibes for eternity.

  “Yeah,” I smiled, feeling warm in my heart. “We would have interrupted their first date.”

  Chapter 11

  ANNABELLE

  Friday November 16, 2012

  Jenna was BFF Numero Uno.

  And Matthew… well, he held my hand in the parking lot before going out for pizza with Franco Monson. I wasn’t invited, though.

  My mom yelled by our car a few feet away: “What are you waiting there for, Annabelle? It’s over, sweetie.”

  “I’m waiting for my heart to start beating again.” I whispered.

  I was stupid.

  I was naïve.

  Because holding hands meant nothing… even though I wish it did.

  Didn’t eight…. almost nine years of friendship demand respect?

  There’s commotion in the parking lot. Squinting past my mom’s car, a scary confrontation took place.

  James VS. Matthew.

  My heart raced nervously. Everything in me, horrified. So, I ran over, by passing my mom who was waving at me to stop and get in the car. But I couldn’t. I had to stop the fight.

  “Do something, pussy.” James goaded wildly.

  The closer I got, the smirk on his face seemed more threatening. His hands were tied behind his back and he was using his shoulders to push Matthew back. Matthew was in a similar position, doing the same thing.

  Matthew growled angrily. “Fucking piece of shit. You do something!”

  James leaned closer, chest bumping him hard. “No, you do something!”

  Behind me doors popped open, and two teachers raced over. I followed behind them, ready to push James away from hitting Matthew, stopping him from getting suspended, or worse… expelled.

  “Break it up,” the shop teacher yelled. He stepped between the boys and pointed to their cars. “Get in your cars and go home, right now!”

  I hurried to James and grabbed him away from Matthew, who was still snarling like an enraged dog, foaming at the mouth.

  “Come on,” I whispered, gripping his arm tightly, but he barely moved a foot. “This isn’t a contest James. We’ve got a test tomorrow, come on.”

  James straightened his posture, exemplifying his height as he crossed his arms over his chest. “I’d skip and fail a stupid test any day.”

  I grimaced. “Stop it!”

  “Whatever.” he shrugged, looking away from me. “I don’t give a shit.”

  The physical description of Wounded Ego turned his back to me, giving attention back to the flock of stupid slutty chickens on parking lot pavement. And since their “King” was back in action, they squealed with excitement, scarring my eardrums.

  “James, come chill with us.” they kept squawking like the braid dead morons they were.

  I gulped nervously, my heart beating for reasons that had nothing to do with love and everything to do with bitterness. Because I wondered what else they’d be willing to do for him that I wasn’t.

  “Well, what are you waiting for?” I stated loudly, my voice the epitome of bitterness.

  “The fuck?” he spat out quietly, turning back to me slowly, his face the epitome of confusion and disgust.

  I grimaced, and shot my arm up, pointing at the row of sluts waiting for his presence. “Your fan club’s calling you, Lawson. You better hurry before they hate you…or something. We wouldn’t want that now… would we?” I gave him a sneer with the added bonus of a “sweet” smile.

  He wagged his eyebrows, as if he understood the terms of our impromptu game, and was about serve me with the ultimate move. “You’re crazy.” he simply said, shaking his head like I annoyed him.

  And there it was. His checkmate…. AKA… The Ultimate Asshole Move.

  “That’s really nice of you to say… thank you.” I said to him quietly.

  My insides were spiraling out of control. He gave me a shrug, like he couldn’t care less and walked back to the “sunny” side of his world.

  Uneasiness was back with a vengeance, and my legs decided to give out first. I plopped down on the ground, sitting on grass, staring underneath his car, examining his tires, feeling weird but not deterred enough to squirm in embarrassment.

  The physical description of scorned, AKA me, sat on grass like a comatose waif, wanting attention from her “love” at any cost. But he was already gone and everyone had noticed “Annabelle” having another drama filled moment. They stopped whatever they were doing, grinned, and pointed my way.

  Embarrassment was a cold bucket of water. I scrambled to regain dignity back, but it was too late. My impromptu, psyche ward worthy antic had been discovered. James stood by the hood of his car, looking at me suspiciously, like I was this lunatic about to damage his car.

  “I dropped a quarter.” I explained, trying to be nonchalant, like I hadn’t been acting dramatically again. “It fell underneath your car and I got it back. Money is money, you know. Whether it’s five dollars or a quarter, it’s… money.”

  “Sure,” he simply said, before breaking into a smirk, his eyes brightening in amusement. Matthew came from nowhere and gave James a fist bump.

  “Bro, how many times do I gotta tell you.” Matthew smirked, shaking his head at me. “Annabelle is, and always will be…. a joke.”

  My eyes popped open as thunder struck loudly, sending my heart to jackhammer city. I took slow, deep breaths to calm myself down as lighting flashed, destroying the blanket of night for a second. I checked my alarm clock and cringed at the time. It was five in the morning. Ugh…wonderful. I took my phone off my nightstand and texted James.

  Annabelle: I had a horrible dream.

  Tiger: Me too.

  Annabelle: Really?

  Tiger: Yeah, it was about my dad kidnapping me and chaining me to a wall in his basement, next thing I know we’re celebrating my forty fourth birthday with an old cupcake he spit on from the gas station.

  Annabelle: OMG! That sounds worse than my dream.

  Tiger: Baby, I’m still shaking.

  Annabelle: I wish you were next to me, right now.

  Tiger: Me too. Would have kind of been funny, the both of us waking up from nightmares, probably screaming NO!!!! LOL!!!

  Annabelle: Oh yeah! LOL!!!

  Tiger: What was your nightmare about?

  Annabelle: Me and you fighting, and then you leaving me to go hang out with a group of chickens in the parking lot.

  Tiger: LOL!! WTF!! That is the funniest thing I’ve ever read in my life.

  Annabelle: I know, it’s crazy now that I think about it.

  Tiger: Fireball I’m touched. But don’t worry, I’ll never leave you to go hang out with a crowd of chickens in the parking lot.

  Annabelle: Good to know.

  Tiger: So breakfast.

  Annabelle: The sooner the better.

  At half past six, I slid over a red cushioned booth with James taking a seat next to me.

  I lived and loved, and desired endless Friday morning breakfasts.

  But. Sigh… there’s always a “but”.

  Control yourself, Annabelle.

  Transparency was a threat, and I ha
d no idea why I felt that. It frustrated me, because so what if the world, this restaurant, and James saw how much I lived, loved and desired Friday morning breakfast.

  Why couldn’t I just let myself be happy? That dark cloud of doubt was always there to rain on my parade, letting me know the long list of things that were going wrong, or about to go wrong.

  “Fireball?” James leaned forward and delicately caressed the edge of my jaw with his rough fingertips, turning my face to meet his. “What are you thinking about?”

  “I have no idea,” I exhaled a small breath and relaxed against him. “There’s always a storm going on in my head.”

  A waitress stopped by our table with menus. “Welcome. I hope you two love bacon. The owners choose one day at random every month for free plates of bacon with a minimum purchase of five dollars, per person. It’s your lucky day.”

  Great.

  Chapter 12

  ANNABELLE

  The crying game had me at a standstill in the bathroom during lunch. Intuition screamed… “Mind your own business! Nothing good will come out of this!”

  But I was Annabelle Simms, and my emotions pretty much ruled everything about me, and right this second… compassion killed common sense.

  I cleared my throat. “Um, are you okay?”

  “Shit,” the crier hissed.

  The stall door popped open and there, standing in front of me, with mascara running down her cheek, a ruffled ponytail, and tears dripping down her face was… Latisha, AKA… the lovesick idiot.

  She has no idea that I know her secret.