Heart of Gold

by Fiona Palmer

  ‘Um, I do believe there is a debt to be paid.’ Lindsay stared into her eyes.

  CJ glanced at her feet for a second, before feeling his warm hand under her chin. He steadily brought her eyes back up to his.

  ‘It’s not Calamity Jane, is it?’

  She burst out laughing. ‘Hell, no! CJ is for Catherine Jean. You happy now?’ CJ couldn’t help smiling at the smug look on his face.

  ‘You don’t look much like a Catherine, but it’ll grow on me.’

  ‘What do you mean it’ll grow on you? You may know it, but it doesn’t mean I give you permission to use it!’

  Lindsay slid away from the door and let her get in. ‘Come on. Let me take you home.’

  Ten minutes later, CJ was sitting on her mum’s bed, stretching and pointing her toes as much as she could without disturbing Dot, whose head rested on CJ’s lap. She had gone to sleep, but CJ continued to absently play with her mum’s wiry hair. Poor Mum.

  Dot had told her the story. While she had been gardening out the back, Abe had rocked up with some beers. Apparently he’d needed a mate to drink with. No one liked being a drunk on their own. So after downing some alcohol Dad had arked up and wanted to fight Abe, which had him running off home with his tail between his legs, leaving Mum alone with him. He’d punched a picture of himself that was hanging on the wall, And Dot had been cowering in her room ever since. Tom had passed out on the floor of his room, which CJ was grateful for. But she couldn’t go to Doug and Tess’s now. She snuck out of her mum’s room, pulling out her mobile.

  ‘Hey, Lindsay, it’s CJ.’

  ‘My mate, Calamity! How’s it going?’ His voice was full of fun.

  ‘I’m just letting you know I can’t come tonight. Dad’s been up to his old tricks and I don’t want to leave Mum alone. I’m sorry. I was really looking forward to helping you celebrate.’

  His voice changed. ‘Oh, CJ. Is everything okay? I can be there in a flash.’

  That caused a pang in her heart. ‘Nah, it’s all cool. Dad’s sleeping it off. Mum’s just a bit traumatised, but we’ll be fine. You just make sure you have a good time and I’ll catch you up for work on Monday, all right?’

  ‘Okay. Sure thing, CJ. Take care. If you need anything, just call.’

  ‘Will do.’

  She sat down on the couch and looked at the broken picture and the empty glass. She knew Lindsay would have a good night with his family.

  CJ sighed. Hopefully there was something worth watching on TV tonight.

  17

  ‘HEY, CJ. I’ve got a favour to ask and you can’t say no.’ Irene picked up the pile she’d just swept and joined CJ at the skirting table. Everyone else had headed outside to wash up for smoko.

  CJ plucked a bit of wool off her blue singlet and threw it at Irene. ‘You know I could never say no to you, Renie!’

  ‘Good. That’s what I was hoping. Paul and I have decided to get married on the twenty-eighth of May.’

  CJ’s eyes grew wide. ‘Wow. That’s, like, eight weeks away.’

  Irene spun her engagement ring around on her finger with an excited grin. ‘We’re not young ducks any more. If we don’t get this done quickly, we might croak it before I can get the wedding ring on my finger!’

  ‘My arse! You two are gonna be around for a bloody long time. So what’s this favour?’

  ‘I was hoping you’d be my bridesmaid? No, actually – you’re going to be my bridesmaid. No buts about it. So I’ll need you next week. We’re going dress shopping and you’re going to help me pick out something not too daggy and old.’

  CJ stood there gaping. ‘Wow. Thanks, Irene.’ CJ gave Irene a tight hug.

  ‘You’d look hot in a red dress, I reckon. You just can’t look better than me. Hey, Chris is coming down for it. Maybe I could set you up with him?’

  CJ laughed. ‘We’d probably hate each other! That would stuff up your plans.’

  Together they headed outside to wash up, and met Lindsay at the basin.

  ‘Hello, Calamity,’ he said with a twinkle in his eye.

  CJ rolled her eyes at him.

  ‘What’s this?’ asked Irene as she dried her hands and pulled out her cigarettes.

  ‘Lindsay took a wild guess at my name and now he’s hell bent on killing me with it.’

  ‘Well, it suits you better than Catherine, that’s for sure.’

  Irene laughed as she dried her hands, then headed to the smoko room. CJ and Lindsay followed.

  ‘So how’s your day been? Has your head lost all its swelling after the win on the weekend?’

  ‘Ha ha, very funny.’

  ‘You know, I think Marty hates you even more now,’ CJ said. ‘Gun shearer, comp winner and good-looking. He’d kill for all that.’

  ‘You think I’m good-looking?’ he teased.

  ‘My God. Your head will explode at this rate. Bloody hell. What are we to do with you?’

  They grabbed a handful of slices and cakes and sat down on the ground against the shearing shed. The day was warm and the flies buzzed around them. Happy was sitting with Dave, who had by far the most food collected in his large hands. CJ rested her head back on the tin of the shed. She could hear the sheep moving restlessly behind them.

  ‘Irene just asked me to be her bridesmaid. Apparently I have to wear a dress.’ She pulled a face like someone had just asked her to eat a worm.

  ‘You know, that’s something I’d like to see. You think I’ll get an invite?’

  CJ laughed and choked on bits of coconut from her slice. ‘No chance.’

  ‘I might just happen to be driving past.’

  ‘You wish.’

  Lindsay leaned over and nudged CJ. ‘So, you up for more shearing on Saturday? You should be all gung-ho after having last weekend off.’

  ‘Yeah, but you’ve still had me finishing your sheep at the end of the runs! That’s gotta count for something.’

  ‘If you’re up to it, we could do Sunday as well. If everything’s okay at home.’ He got up and put a hand out to help pull CJ to her feet. ‘Come on, Calamity. We’d better get back to it.’

  CJ snapped her heels together and gave him a salute. ‘Yes, boss!’

  Lindsay laughed. ‘Careful I don’t make you drop and do twenty.’

  ‘Well, that couldn’t be any harder than wrestling with a ewe,’ replied CJ, and they followed the rest of the crew back into the shed.

  18

  CJ let Sam off the chain and walked towards Burt’s shed. It was a breezy morning and above her in the gum trees she could hear the pink and grey galahs screeching. Sam ran off towards Scabs, who was over by Burt, Joe and Lindsay.

  ‘Morning, all.’ Her smiled grew bigger when she glanced towards Lindsay. She couldn’t help it, her excitement was uncontrollable.

  ‘Morning, love,’ Burt mumbled through his soggy rollie, which was hanging out the corner of his mouth. She had caught Burt lighting his rollie with an oxy torch in the shed once. He pulled the half-soggy rollie from his mouth and kissed her on her cheek.

  ‘So what did I miss?’ she asked.

  Lindsay smiled at her. He had his sunglasses on and looked not long out of the shower. She could smell his aftershave, soap and deodorant. It sent her nerve ends into a spasm and took all her effort not to take a step closer.

  ‘Burt was just telling us about his shearing days up north,’ Lindsay replied.

  ‘Hey, I haven’t heard this story before. Why’s that? Is it too rude?’ She laughed.

  Burt flicked his rollie to the ground. ‘When I was a young’un, we used to pile on the back of the truck – each with a warm carton of beer, mind you – and head up north to shear. Those beers never made the trip and we never had women in the sheds back then either. All blokes and we were a crude bunch of misfits. But from time to time the boss’s missus would come down to the shed and there’d be a shout of “Ducks on the pond!” and we’d all shut up. No more swearing. Now you sheilas make up half the shed.’

  ‘And h
ave just as crude a mouth,’ said Joe.

  CJ went to defend her sex but thought better of it. Hell, Joe was right. She’d met some pearlers. She was good at swearing herself.

  ‘Gonna get wet today,’ said Burt.

  Both CJ and Lindsay looked up. On the horizon was a heavy black band of clouds.

  ‘Yeah, I think you’re right, Burt. Come on, CJ. We’d better get cracking. We’ll catch you guys later.’ Lindsay waved them off and followed CJ into the shed to the waiting sheep.

  Nearly three hours later, CJ was tackling the neck on yet another ewe.

  ‘This is one of the hardest parts to master, CJ, so take your time.’

  Lindsay was leaning in, watching her carefully. CJ shifted her inside foot back after each blow.

  ‘Yep, bloody nice work.’ He pulled her rope for her and stopped the machine. They both paused, faces close together, as they tried to register the sound they both heard. Tink. Tink.

  ‘Rain,’ they said together.

  ‘Shit. Let’s get the rest of the sheep in,’ said Lindsay.

  CJ chucked the ewe back into the pen and followed Lindsay outside, Sam close on their heels. She was amazed at the change of the day. The sun had gone and the smell of moisture was in the air. The cool breeze and stray raindrops felt wonderful on her sweaty, hot skin.

  Lindsay unbolted the back door to the yards and opened all the gates while CJ began to push the sheep through.

  ‘Come on, Sam. Push up!’

  They worked in harmony as the ground began to change from dry dust to mud.

  ‘Will we fit them all in?’ CJ yelled to Lindsay as the drops got heavier.

  ‘Might not. The rest will have to go under the shed. Quick – it’s about to piss down.’

  A crack of thunder erupted. Lindsay opened the small gate that led underneath the shed and stood back as CJ brought the remaining sheep up. They waved their arms and shooed the sheep, side by side. CJ saw Lindsay nearly slip on the mud but he corrected himself on the metal gate, his muscles bulging as they held his weight. She tore her eyes away as she noticed a wether being difficult.

  ‘Bring him back, Sam.’

  Sam dropped behind them and brought the wether slowly back past them towards the protection of the shed. Just as Lindsay reached out to close the gate, another clap of thunder startled them. The heavens opened up. Heavy rain fell fast and thick. Lindsay shut the gate, ran to CJ, grabbed her arm and pulled her along with him through to the edge of the yards. The ground was turning to slop. They climbed over the fence and headed back towards the door of the shed. Rain ran down their faces and soaked their clothes. CJ began to laugh as her moccasin broke through another puddle, splashing water up her dungarees. She felt the clay under her feet, dangerously greasy.

  She turned back towards Lindsay, who was a step behind her. ‘Watch your step,’ she warned, as her feet slipped out from under her. She landed with a splosh in the puddle. Dirty water splashed up over her singlet and across her shoulders, but the rain began to wash it off right away.

  Lindsay stood over her, hands on his hips, and chuckled. CJ looked hilarious sitting in a pool of water, but also darn sexy with the water trailing over her skin, her wet hair hanging over her shoulders. Her singlet looked painted on. Pure delight.

  ‘Well, don’t just stand there and laugh, you idiot.’ Her voice was playful. ‘Help me up!’

  He didn’t move straightaway. Lindsay liked the way the rain intensified the blue of her eyes and magnified her tiny freckles along her nose and just under her long bottom eyelashes. Slowly he held out his hands, and for a second he thought she might drag him down into the puddle, but he easily pulled her body up next to his. She was so close and her hands remained in his. She didn’t step away and neither did he. He became oblivious to the rain and thunder around him as he gazed into her eyes, which simmered and sparkled. He’d never seen her look like this before, and it was causing a burning sensation in his lower belly. Suddenly she leaned up and kissed him. Then all he could think of was her lips, so soft and cool. But all too quickly CJ pulled away and let go of his hands, before he could even taste her properly. His fingers no longer tingled and he realised he’d been holding his breath.

  Lindsay opened his eyes. What had just happened? Her face portrayed a range of emotions – shock, desire and confusion. Much how he felt himself.

  ‘I’m so sorry, I thought… I’m sorry,’ she mumbled, raindrops falling from her trembling lips. CJ turned and walked away, shoulders slumped, leaving him silent and still in the pouring rain. He felt cheated. He was not finished. He needed more.

  CJ stomped through the puddles. Did she feel like an idiot? Hell, yes! Maybe she’d misinterpreted the signs. The way he’d helped her up, holding her hands so tightly, and that smile with his intense eyes, which had just about sent all the rain on her skin to steam. So she couldn’t resist just a kiss. It wasn’t like her to do anything rash, but his lips had called out to her and she’d been pulled towards them with no control. It was like the whole universe had decided it would happen. Like fate.

  But she’d just gone and ruined everything. How could she look at him again after that knock-back? What did she expect – she probably wasn’t up to his usual standard.

  She was two steps from the doorway when she felt his hand on her shoulder, spinning her around. She hardly had time to see the desire in Lindsay’s eyes before he pressed her against the corrugated wall of the shed. His hands were over her body, through her wet hair, bringing her head closer. Lips to lips, he kissed her. She lost track of where she was. No longer could she feel the cold metal against her back or the dripping of rain against her skin. Instead her body burned at his touch. She felt his fingers tenderly touching her neck, his thumbs stroking her cheeks as his lips melted into hers.

  Lindsay stepped in closer and their wet bodies made their own warmth. She felt her heart thump. She groaned with sheer pleasure and opened her mouth, meeting his tongue. It was electric. It was like pain and pleasure all at once – the pain of not wanting it to stop and the pleasure of pure passion.

  She moved her hands around his waist and held him in close. He was hard against her and it sent a shiver up her spine. His whole body was hard and she needed to touch more. She ran her hands down his back over his wet singlet to the top of his jeans. Somehow, they managed to move towards the open doorway and enter the shed. Lindsay slid the large door closed behind them, his lips never leaving hers. They staggered together to the raised floor where the shearing stands were and he lifted her up to sit on them. She wound her legs around him. Lindsay kissed her mouth before moving across her cheek to her neck. He kissed down her shoulder blade and licked at the rain on her skin. She was in heaven, far away from the reality of her life. Her hands slid under his black singlet and found his tight stomach. She brushed her fingers over the firm muscles, down towards his belt, where a scattering of coarse hairs tickled her fingers.

  Lindsay pulled off her singlet and tossed it into a wet heap on the wooden floorboards. He took off his own singlet, while she undid his belt and jeans. He helped her pull off her wet dungarees, and she reached her arm around and unsnapped her bra, dropping it to the floor. Lindsay scooped her breasts up in his hands. His thumbs grazed her firm nipples before he tasted each one, and he was rewarded with her moans. Slowly he kissed his way back up to her neck and mouth, crushing their bodies together to feel her breasts against his chest.

  CJ put her fingers through his wet hair and ran her tongue across his bottom lip. She slipped her hands down the front of his pants, and Lindsay growled softly in her ear. Taking her time, she stroked him, then pulled his jeans down and released him from his wet clothes.

  Lindsay was magnificent. Such a chiselled body was surely every girl’s dream. She couldn’t help but stare.

  Lindsay revelled in the wonder he saw in CJ’s eyes. He had to admit that her body was even more amazing than he had imagined. And he had imagined more than once what it would be like underneath all those
work clothes. Her breasts filled his hands, her hips were slight and her waist small.

  ‘You are just beautiful,’ he breathed, locking onto her eyes.

  Her cheeks glowed red, and Lindsay couldn’t help but kiss her until she was moaning. He pulled her to the edge of the raised board and her legs wrapped around him tighter as he slid inside. CJ purred involuntarily. She clung to Lindsay, with each stroke, her hands feeling every inch of his lean body. He lifted her up and carried her across the shed floor to the piles of wool, where he laid her down.

  There, in the large shed, on their soft bed of wool with the rain pelting down on the tin roof, they lost themselves to passion.

  19

  CJ sat with a cuppa, the early sunrise glistening through the window and sending light across the dining table. Her mum and dad were still fast asleep, thank God. She needed some time to process what had happened. All night she’d tossed and turned. She’d dreamed that he left her, cast her aside and moved on to the next girl who had fluttered her eyelashes at him. It was only a dream but it had shaken her. She’d got caught up in the excitement yesterday and now she was having second thoughts. What did this mean for them now? And she hadn’t been careful… what if she ended up pregnant? Holy shit, there was no way she could bring a child into her life. She couldn’t fall in love with him – he was too much of a ladies man and she was just some shedhand covered in crap. Could she survive if things went wrong? Could things go back to how they had been when it was safe? How had Lindsay managed to sneak under her radar? She knew she was only moments away from falling hard for him – or maybe it was already too late.

  CJ picked up the phone and dialled Lindsay’s number.

  ‘Hello?’

  ‘Hey, Linds, it’s CJ. Look, can we give today a miss? Something’s come up that I have to deal with.’

  ‘Oh, is everything all right at home?’

  ‘Yeah, just the usual. I’ll see you for work, okay?’

  ‘If you do need anything you know where to find me. I’ll see you on Monday.’