Face Time

by S. J. Pajonas

  “Then what’s the problem?” he asks. I sit up and widen my eyes at him. “Well, besides the distance?”

  “Do I have to spell it out? Justin, I haven’t had sex in over two years. It’ll be three years in October.” A snicker erupts behind me, and I turn around and make eye contact with two boys in their late teens. “Mind your own business.” They go back to eating their popcorn and looking at their phones.

  “Okay, I see your point,” he says, patting me on my knee. “A travesty for sure. But if you like him and he likes you, then you should keep at it. This would be no big deal if you were five years younger. Everyone in the generation behind us has online relationships, I swear. I have a friend who only sees her boyfriend every few months and they get it on on Skype constantly.”

  “Oh god. I’m not doing that.”

  “Why not? Laura, live a little. You used to be a lot more carefree. Rene really fucked you up good.”

  I take back the monster bag of popcorn and eat from it silently. Rene fucked me up and fucked me over. I never wanted to trust a guy again after him. But now there’s Lee.

  “I honestly don’t know what to do, Justin,” I whisper at him. “If I didn’t have Mom living with me, I would be on a flight to Seoul right now.”

  Justin nods and pats my knee again. “That’s good. The impulsive and fun Laura who I used to know is coming back. You buried her pretty deep. Stop hogging the popcorn.”

  I hand it back before he starts getting bitchy with me.

  “Our date was impulsive. We made decisions on the fly, and he took it all in stride. It was fantastic.” I sit back and stare at the lights in the ceiling. “But Justin, I thought Rene was fantastic, too, remember? He swept me off my feet… and then he threw me back on the floor and kicked me while I was down.”

  “I doubt anyone could be as much of a prick as Rene was, Laura, and your father is no longer around to cause trouble. This is the time for you to do whatever you want.” He pokes me in the arm. “A new life, Laura. It can be yours.”

  “That’s sweet, but no. Still got Mom to worry about. You know I can’t just leave. She’ll change the locks on me and then I’ll be forced out and wondering what she’ll do next. Will she spend all her money on some scam or break up with her boyfriend and have another nervous breakdown? I’m saddled with her for life.”

  Justin sits quietly next to me, and when I glance at him, the pity he feels for me is plain on his face. Because, really, this could be my life — lonely, bored, and living with my mother forever. Lee and I could fizzle out, never speak again, and I would just keep plugging on because I have no other choice.

  My eyes fill with tears before I understand where my brain has taken me, straight to my grave with no one to love.

  “Shit, Laura. Sorry.” Justin slides his hand into mine. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

  The lights dim in the theater, the trailers come on, and drown me out. I squeeze Justin’s hand and let go to take back the popcorn.

  “Look. Forget about your mom for now. Keep this thing going with Lee, if that’s what you want. Buy some sexy underwear and send him photos. Talk dirty to him. I’m sure he’ll love it.”

  “You’re crazy.” I laugh and wipe my face with a napkin.

  “You’re not crazy enough. I’ve been meaning to say this to you for a long time, and now’s my perfect chance.” He turns in his seat, putting his hand on my arm in the way he has of assuring his friends he’s listening and cares. Justin is a kind-hearted soul. “It’s time to get out of New York. You hate it here.”

  “Theresa said the same thing…”

  “Well, you know I have all the love in the world for Theresa…” He does not. They are constantly at each other’s throats. I hardly ever do anything with both of them anymore. “But she’s right. Your mom doesn’t give two shits about you and what you want or she would have moved out ages ago and let you have your life back. Pack your bags and get the heck out. You belong out in the world, exploring and living.”

  “But…”

  “No buts. Regardless of whether anything works out with this guy, you need to go. I’ve seen the way you talk about your time abroad. You miss it.”

  I nod my head as the lights dim further for the main feature. “Maybe you’re right…”

  “Of course, I’m right,” he whispers. “You’ll do it and you’ll be happy because I told you so.”

  (>’o’)> ♥ <(‘o’<)

  Lee Park

  How was the movie?

  Laura Merchant

  It was good. I enjoyed it. Really, I see movies so rarely now and I used to go all the time that this was a treat.

  Lee Park

  I hardly go to the theater either. All the movies seem the same.

  Laura Merchant

  I’m fed up with Hollywood.

  I’m sick of them recycling the same stories over and over.

  It’s annoying.

  And then they pick all the good books to make into movies and ruin them.

  They did a passable job with this one.

  Lee Park

  Have you ever thought about what you’d be doing if David were still alive and you graduated school wanting to continue in English? Write?

  Laura Merchant

  …

  I’d love to write again.

  But now I have no idea what I want. Except to leave New York.

  Lee Park

  If you left New York, how would I find you?

  Laura Merchant

  You would be my first stop :)

  Lee Park

  :) Good.

  So, are you going to check out the Korean films at Korea Society?

  Laura Merchant

  Yes. And I have some K-drama queued up on Netflix, too.

  Hey, my first language class is next week.

  I’m excited!!!!!!!!!

  Lee Park

  That’s a lot of exclamation points.

  I stay in a beautiful hotel with wifi while I’m in Mumbai. We can FT and you can tell me all about it.

  Laura Merchant

  I’m glad you said something.

  I was wondering if I’d be able to talk to you. I’d be sad if we had to go 2 weeks without talking.

  Lee Park

  …

  When you say things like that it makes me happy.

  Laura Merchant

  That I want to talk to you?

  Lee Park

  Yes, and that you enjoy my company.

  Laura Merchant

  The nights I don’t talk to you are lonely, Lee.

  Lee Park

  My mornings don’t get off on the right foot without you.

  What are you doing now?

  Laura Merchant

  Um, I’m sitting in bed listening to The Beatles. Level 11.

  Lee Park

  You’re a Beatles girl? No Rolling Stones?

  Laura Merchant

  I totally believe in that… You’re either a Beatles fan or a Rolling Stones fan.

  Yes, I like the Beatles.

  But when I listen to The Beatles at home it means I’m drowning out my next door neighbors having sex.

  Lee Park

  Oh no.

  Laura Merchant

  Oh yes.

  And they are loud.

  Like three times a week :(

  For the last two years.

  I remember when they moved in.

  They seemed so boring and normal.

  I’m pretty sure they’re into bondage.

  Normally, I’d be happy for them but…

  Lee Park

  I completely understand.

  What does your mom think?

  Laura Merchant

  She’s never commented on it.

  I believe she’s asleep.

  She takes sleeping pills so sleeps through almost everything.

  Lee Park

  I’m looking around my empty apartment and feeling really sad for our situation right now.

&nbs
p; Laura Merchant

  Me too.

  Lee Park

  Sigh. So tell me about Justin.

  I let out a loud laugh, barely covered up by Paul McCartney singing “Why Don’t We Do It In The Road?” Now that’s a place I’ve never done it, but damn, maybe someday. I knew he’d ask about Justin, and I can tell he wants to know because he’s jealous. It’s okay, Lee. I’ll put his mind at ease.

  I pull the covers up over my head, muffling the persistent bang of my neighbor’s bed against the wall and tell him all about Justin without mentioning the fact I’m shopping for sexy lingerie soon. I figure, if Lee lived here, and these FaceTime and text dates were the real thing, I would have slept with him by now. So, I want to spice things up a little bit. Just a little. It’ll be a surprise.

  Chapter

  Twelve

  =

  Lee

  I’m bringing my rolling bag into the bedroom to pack for the trip to Mumbai when my iPhone buzzes.

  Laura Merchant

  I’m home from the gym.

  And there’s a package here from some hot boy in Korea.

  Warning, my mom brought it in for me.

  She is now standing and waiting for you to call :-/

  Shit. How could I be so stupid? There’s no way Laura’s mother is going to approve of me sending her daughter gifts from the other side of the world, even if my gift is completely innocent.

  Lee Park

  Any chance she’s leaving to go out for the night?

  I hate to be a coward, but I’m not sure I’m ready for this.

  Laura Merchant

  I’m so sorry, Lee.

  She was on her way out but cornered me.

  Now she won’t leave until you call.

  Do you want to cancel? I’ll completely understand.

  Wait. No. I can only imagine what canceling will do to Laura. She’ll think I’m chickening out of every future call. And I’m going to have to talk to her mother eventually if I want this to continue.

  I want this to continue. I do nothing but think of Laura night and day. I go to bed every night wishing she were next to me and wake up the next morning sad she’s not there.

  Lee Park

  I don’t want to cancel.

  It’s fine.

  I’ll start the call in a second.

  Let me get my iPad set up in the bedroom.

  Well, I wanted to see her face when she opens my present. Now I’ll know if her mother likes it too. I grab the iPad from my kitchen table and head back into the bedroom, initiating a call.

  “Hi,” I say with a smile. “You got my gift. I sent the package on Monday and didn’t know it would arrive so quickly.”

  She’s at her kitchen table, peeling off her jacket, and underneath she’s wearing workout clothes, tight yoga pants, a bright pink sports bra under a cropped white gauzy shirt. Her stomach and arms are bare and sculpted, and oh god, that’s not fair at all.

  Then her mother walks into the view of the camera. She’s an older version of Laura with shoulder-length blonde hair, wearing a tailored black jacket and a string of pearls around her neck. Her arms are crossed and her long fingers tap away on her biceps, the perfect French manicure drumming to my accelerated heartbeat.

  “Hi, Mrs. Merchant. I’m Lee. It’s nice to meet you,” I say, wanting to stretch out my hand to shake but unable to.

  “Hello, Lee.” Laura’s mother narrows her eyes and leans towards the iPad, nudging Laura out of the way. I glance at Laura, and she has her eyes closed and is turned from us both. Her lips are moving, but I can’t hear what she’s saying. It looks like a silent prayer to me. “Are you really in Seoul? You’re not just telling my daughter this to swindle her?”

  “Mom,” Laura hisses. “Of course he’s not swindling me. Please.”

  “No, ma’am. I’m definitely in Seoul but not for much longer. I have to pack for a trip to Mumbai.”

  “Is that so? And what will you be doing there?” Laura’s mother hoists her bag up on her shoulder.

  “I’m an international lawyer and I’ll be working with one of my Indian clients.” I’m used to being questioned, but her stare is making the back of my neck sweat. I’ve never cared so much about another person’s opinion as I do right now. “I sent Laura a gift. I hope you don’t mind.”

  “Well, let’s see it.” Her mother reaches off camera for the box and gives it to Laura. Even from here, with the graininess of the video feed, I can tell Laura’s hands are shaking. I’m the dumbest man on the face of the earth.

  Laura’s mother steps back and away from the iPad while Laura opens the box with a pair of scissors. She reaches in, pushes aside the tissue paper, and extracts the eggplant purple leather bag I bought her. On Sunday, I took Cori and Evie to Gyeongbukgung Palace and then shopping in Samcheong-dong. Samcheong-dong is well-known for having lots of artisan shops full of one-of-a-kind boutique items. I enjoy shopping in their stores because they have something for everyone. I found this handmade bag and immediately thought of Laura. The bag is beautiful and classy but still practical, just like her. I asked Cori if it was too soon for me to be buying her presents because I debated in the store for almost an hour. She eventually told me she’s never seen me shop for Sandra, so I should just buy the damned bag already.

  “Oh wow, Lee. This is gorgeous.” She holds the bag in front of her and runs her hand along the leather. “Really lovely details and stitching. Thank you so much.”

  “I’m glad you like it. I thought about it for a long time before deciding.”

  “Why am I not surprised,” she says, laughing. “I already know you well enough to know you overthink everything.”

  Silence falls on our conversation as Laura and I stare at each over seven thousand miles of space. We’ve been “dating” two weeks, and she’s a more concrete girlfriend than Sandra ever was. I doubt Sandra could tell me what my favorite movie, drink, or foods are. Laura will say mine are The Bourne Identity, bourbon with one ice cube, and Thai crab coconut curry. Hers are Doctor Zhivago, gin and tonic, and mashed potatoes.

  “Well,” her mother interrupts, startling us both, “at least he has good taste.” Her mother disappears, walking towards Laura’s front door. “I’m off to the opera with Richard for the evening, and I won’t be home.” The door closes with a bang, and Laura flinches.

  She turns back to her iPad with the bag clutched to her chest.

  “I’m so sorry, Lee. I don’t even know what to say.”

  “It’s okay, Laura. You don’t need to explain.” I’m suspect in her mother’s eyes, or possibly, she already doesn’t like me for any number of reasons. I can’t say I blame her since I’m so far away, but I’m not happy about the way she treats Laura.

  “My situation is complicated. I’m glad you understand, even if only a little. Anyway, I’m sorry I subjected you to that. Let’s continue and forget my mom, okay?”

  Laura looks down at the bag in her hands and takes a deep breath before forcing herself to smile.

  “It’s really beautiful. You didn’t have to get me anything.”

  “I wanted to. I enjoy shopping. One of very few men that do.”

  She sets the bag in front of her and stands up to lean over the iPad and grab a water bottle.

  “Jesus, Laura. How much time do you spend at the gym?” I rarely see six packs on women especially not here in Korea, but Laura is toned everywhere, and the muscles on her stomach are ridged. I wonder what her bare legs look like.

  She smirks at me. “A lot. It’s my therapy. A night like last night with my mom home and the couple next door getting it on, I would have spent the evening at the gym and come home after they were done. Until recently, I was at the gym or out running almost every single day.”

  “Until you met me?”

  “Yes.” She sets her bottle down and picks the bag back up again. “But it’s healthier for me to do other things than just be a gym rat. So, don’t sweat it, Lee.”

  “Okay.” I’ll take
that answer, though her body is so attractive, I don’t want her to let it go on my account, especially since I’m not around to enjoy it either. Shit, this call is veering in a direction I didn’t anticipate a minute ago. I set the iPad on my dresser but step off camera to adjust myself before popping back in frame. “I’ve gotta pack, but we can keep talking.”

  “I hid the note you sent so my mom wouldn’t see it. Thanks. I love gifts.” I had written, “To Laura, The first of many gifts, I’m sure. From Lee.” Simple and easy.

  “I like a bag I can throw stuff into and carry on my shoulder. And it’s sooooooo soft.” She moans and closes her eyes. “I think I just had a leather-induced orgasm.”

  I’m frozen in place having pictured Laura in bed underneath me, naked. I want to make those noises come out of her, not a bag I send halfway around the world. All the blood is leaving my head.

  “Lee? Hello? I said, it’s lovely. Thanks.”

  She peeks in the bag and all I see are her arms and neck. I want to run my fingers up her arms, in and out of every dip of muscle. I want to lay my lips on her neck and taste her.

  “Lee? Earth to Lee?” She leans in and taps on the camera, tap tap tap.

  “Sorry.” I blurt out, jolting to my senses. “Sorry, I just, um, I just pictured an entirely different leather-induced orgasm…”

  Laura laughs, sliding her eyes from the side to me. “I like those kinds of leather-induced orgasms as well. I’m adventurous in and out of the bedroom.”

  That’s it. I need a cold shower. “Laura, I’m going to take twenty minutes to pack, and I’ll call you back, okay?”

  She purses her lips, trying not to smile. “I’ll be here.”

  (>’o’)> ♥ <(‘o’<)

  I stand in the bathroom and debate my options for all of ten seconds. I can take the cold shower and get rid of my hard-on or I can take a hot one and masturbate. As ridiculous as it sounds, I have already accomplished the second of these options many times in the past two weeks since meeting Laura, but now is not the time. I’m going to call her back in twenty minutes, and if I go with option number two, I will be wrecked for a while because once I’m done with myself, I’m hit with all types of irrational (and sometimes rational) thoughts about how I can steal her from New York. Option number one is better.