The Day He Kissed Her

by Juliana Stone

  She nodded but remained quiet.

  “You’re right. We are, and I…” He ran his hands through the wet hair at his nape. “God, Lily, I think I’m realizing for the first time how hard it is to change. Or, no.” He shook his head violently. “I’m realizing how hard it is to know that I want to change but not knowing if I’m strong enough or good enough.” He paused. “I don’t know if I’m good enough for you and this baby.”

  “Do you want to be?” she asked, breath held, hands still clenched at her sides.

  “Yeah,” he said slowly. “I do.”

  Lily let out a long breath. “Then what are you afraid of exactly?”

  “I’m afraid that no matter how much I love you, I’ll end up ruining everything just like my father. I’m afraid that I’ll hurt you, physically and emotionally, and that I’ll screw things up and any child of ours will grow up to be just like me.”

  “Mackenzie,” she said shakily. “The fact that you’re even thinking of all that stuff tells me that you’re as far away from your father as we are from the moon. You’re nothing like him. Nothing,” she ended hoarsely.

  “I drink too much.”

  “Yeah, you do. But do you drink because you need it? Do you drink because you need to cope?”

  “No,” he said after a few moments. “I drink to forget.”

  She watched him carefully. “You don’t need to forget anymore, Mackenzie. Not unless you want to.”

  Mackenzie was silent for so long that the fear she’d pushed away began to pulse inside her. Maybe she’d read this all wrong. Maybe this was good-bye.

  Oh God. A sob caught in her throat and her knees buckled.

  But Mackenzie was there. He caught her and dragged her close, his arms around her, holding her to him as if he would never let her go.

  “I want you, Lily,” he whispered into her hair. “God, I thought…”

  Something in his voice made her turn her head and she glanced up at him. “What? What did you think?” Her voice was so low that she barely heard it, but he smoothed her hair back and cupped her chin.

  “I thought you’d lost the baby. I went to the hospital, and I thought it was you there and…”

  “Hospital?” She didn’t understand.

  “It was Maggie. She and Cain had a little girl, but for a second there, I thought you’d lost the baby and I nearly lost it.”

  “Oh, Mac.”

  “I was empty and I was done, and I knew I wouldn’t make it without you. I knew then that without you, I would end up just like Ben.” He glanced away. “If that makes sense.”

  “Yeah,” she said slowly. “It does.”

  “I love you, Lily.”

  She blew out a long, shuddering breath. “I know.”

  “You have to forgive me for being such an asshole and for treating you like crap.”

  “I can do that.”

  “I promise you that I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy. Whatever it takes to make our kid happy. I can’t…” His voice caught. “I can’t do this alone anymore.”

  Mackenzie’s eyes met hers. “I don’t want to do this alone anymore.”

  Lily cupped his head between her hands. “I love you, Mackenzie. All of you. The good parts and the bad parts. All of it.” She smiled a tremulous smile and kissed him gently.

  “We can do this,” she murmured.

  Mackenzie scooped her into his arms and carried her into the house. He didn’t stop until he reached the bathroom. He turned the shower on, got the water hot, and then gently took her wet clothes off. He ditched his and then joined her in the shower.

  For the longest time he held her beneath the spray, their heartbeats in tandem, murmuring words of love, words that she needed to hear.

  And once more, her world was filled with color.

  Carefully, he soaped up every inch of her body, cleaning and massaging and touching. He washed her hair, gently working her scalp with his fingers, until she was so relaxed she fell against him.

  “I love you,” he whispered, his mouth at the back of her neck, his hands at her breasts. “Holy hell, but I love you.”

  Lily braced herself on the wet tiles and arched her back into him. “Show me,” she whispered.

  And he did.

  Mackenzie worshiped her with his hands and his mouth. He worshiped her with words that were so sweet and gentle they brought tears to her eyes.

  He slid into her, his body claiming what had always been his, and as the two of them rocked into each other, as they came together beneath the warm spray of water, Lily had never felt so loved or content or warm in her life.

  Afterward, they slid into her bed, and she cuddled into his side. She knew things weren’t going to be easy. God, she didn’t even know where they were going to live.

  But they were together.

  And for now, it was enough.

  Epilogue

  They say that rain is good luck, but Mackenzie Draper frowned when he glanced up and saw the dark gray clouds in the sky.

  Shit. Not good for an outdoor wedding. Not good at all. He was in the Jake’s old room, out at the Edwardses’ place, and for a moment, he stared down at the area rug on the floor. God, how many nights had he spent on the floor, shooting the shit with the twins and trying to forget the horror back at his house?

  Too many.

  It’s all in the past. And for the first time that he could remember, he believed it.

  The door behind him opened and he turned, a wide grin on his face when Jake and Cain walked into the room.

  “Jesus Christ, Mackenzie. You’re prettier than most of the women out there,” Jake said with a chuckle.

  Mac shrugged. “Can’t help it. Good genes.”

  “Yeah,” Jake replied. “Good genes.”

  The two men stared at each other for a long time, long enough for Cain to chuckle. “Okay, boys. If I didn’t know any better, I would think that the two of you were getting married today. Shit, is this what they call bromance? Do you want me to break it to Raine and Lily?” Cain grinned. “Cuz I’m down with that. Just say the word.”

  “And ruin the fantasies of every woman who looks at our boy, Mac?” Jake shook his head. “Nah, we’ll keep this on the down low.”

  Cain glanced at his watch and then nudged Mackenzie. “It’s time.”

  Nervous, Mac cleared his throat and pointed to the door. “Okay. Let’s get this done before she realizes this is a big mistake and leaves.”

  He closed the door behind him and paused. “Guys,” he said, taking a moment to collect his thoughts so that he could get this right.

  Cain watched him quietly while Jake’s intense gaze was a bit unnerving.

  “You’re like family to me, and I just want to thank you for being there, for believing in me when I didn’t believe in myself. I don’t…I don’t think I would have made it out alive without you guys.”

  The emotion in his voice was palpable, and the three of them drank it in. They stood together for several moments and then Jake cleared his throat. “It’s time to do this, Mac.”

  “Yeah.”

  He followed his best friends outside, down the back deck and across the lawn. He walked up the aisle, glancing at the folks he loved. The Edwardses. Lauren Black, Cain’s mother. Maggie and her son, Michael, and her new baby, Kristen. He nodded to Raine and smiled when Salvatore gave him the thumbs-up.

  He stopped when he reached the front row and hugged his sister. He pressed a kiss to the top of his nephew’s head and then kissed his mother’s cheek.

  He didn’t stop walking until he stood beside Jake and Cain, his brothers—if not in blood, than in every way that mattered.

  Pastor Lancaster nodded and a murmur went through the crowd as everyone stood.

  Everything faded away, but the woman slowly walking toward him. Her a
rm was tucked into Steven Edwards’s, but her smile, her focus, was on him.

  She was everything to him. His world. His love. His life.

  Mackenzie Draper knew that he was the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet because Lily St. Clare and the child growing inside her, belonged to him.

  And from this day forward, he was going to do everything in his power to make her happy, because a happy and content Lily was all he wanted.

  And dammit, Jake and his mother were right.

  Mackenzie Draper deserved happiness after all.

  Acknowledgments

  This book was a bit of a challenge for me, and there are those who stepped up big time in order for me to get this book done. My editor, Leah Hultenschmidt, was amazing and worked with me right down to the wire—thanks for that, and I am so sad to see you move on! And to everyone else at Sourcebooks who had a hand in this book, the art department, publicity, thank you!

  My agent, Sara Megibow, was encouraging and always there when needed. Thanks so much for the emails and phone calls. I’m in a good place right now, and she’s a big part of that. Glad to be part of TEAM MEGIBOW!

  Again big thanks to the Sirens, in particular Amanda and Lauren, you guys were always there when needed. My TRW mates, Eve, Michelle, Simone, Tiffany, Maureen, and Molly, so encouraging and good company too! Thanks to the “real” Blair Hubber who donated cash to our local support center so that he could “appear” in one of my books! Much appreciated!

  Lastly, a big thank you to all my readers! I’m so glad you love my Bad Boys, and I look forward to creating Bad Boys for many years to come!

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