Ugly, Perfect

by Melanie Walker

  I kept talking to her and wishing I could hold her in my lap, but wouldn’t because I had no idea what was done to her. Her beautiful coat was smeared in red and some spots black from where she was bleeding heaviest.

  The officers at the bedroom door moved as people rushed in with all the flare of EMT's. I had to move so they could help her, but stayed close so she could see me even though it felt like it wasn't enough.

  I looked on the floor for a shirt or anything I had warn before leaving town and saw my robe hanging on my closet door. I grabbed it and set it next to her head avoiding the people trying to help her so she could catch my scent.

  I watched as they did what they could and prayed that she would live. I made deals with God that I would leave everything behind and never endanger her life again, if he would give me this one gift.

  But as the minutes ticked by and I saw any hope fade from the people helping her I knew she wasn't going to see her room in Indiana. She was never going to be a free dog that wasn't always cautious. She was going to die for me tonight and there was nothing I could do to take it back and keep her safe.

  I texted D though I was sure he knew by now from his cop friends, but I needed him and even if he was over two thousand miles away he would fix me, because he always fixes me.

  Me: D… He finally broke me. Harley is dead.

  ***

  It turned out that it was a Veterinarian that came with the emergency technicians. His name was Dr. Gamble and he did what he could, but she wasn't going to make it. He helped get her comfortable so that she felt nothing as he took her from me. I lie down beside her on my bed with my body as close as I could get and I rested my head above hers so she could feel my heat and hear my voice as I said goodbye.

  My phone was ringing off the hook. Dante, Kyra and Alex all called and I asked Officer Bates (Protocol) to please answer them in the other room and explain that I was spending her last few minutes undistracted. He nodded and answered D's call, but first paid Harley the respect she deserved and kissed her sweetly on her head. "It was a good death Harley. You're a hero."

  She moaned and though the sound was agonizing, I knew she was loving him on the inside.

  Dr. Gamble stood at the side of the bed and gave me time to say goodbye. It is an impossible task when you love something this much.

  "Harley I love you. You were the greatest gift I ever received baby. D and Kyra and Al are so proud of you. I am so proud of you." I choke on a sob and bury my face atop her head. "You are the bravest creature I know sweet girl and you did such a good job always keeping me safe."

  I watched as Dr. Gamble administered the shot that would end her suffering and wanted to scream. Her eyes were on me and I didn't blink, I didn't move and I swear she fought it as long as she could because she knew it was killing me. So I did what you do when saying goodbye.

  "Close your eyes baby." I whisper and stroke her snout. "I'm safe Har. You did your job baby and now you can rest." I was sobbing, speaking through my tears as she took her final breath and left me. "Oh God… I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry I couldn’t save you like you always did me."

  The room was quiet aside from my sobbing… I just held her paw, stroking my thumb on it as Dr. Gamble cleaned her up. I couldn’t process this. All I could do was cry and hate Kendal. He wanted to deliver a wound that wouldn’t heal and he did. Another life destroyed by him. Another part of my heart ruined by his hate. Another thing I had to survive.

  I hated him for many reasons before tonight and now I have surpassed hate. I abhor him, detest the very thought of his name and hoped he would one day get what he rightfully deserved.

  Karma was psycho bitch out looking to get revenge and I hoped she fucks his life up.

  Chapter Twenty-three

  Present day

  Seattle WA

  Alex had rushed home from his trip in Kennewick the following morning after learning from Kyra what happened. He walked through my door with his current flame Neil, behind him as tears streamed down his face. "Mal…" he cried and hugged me close, taking in the gruesome scene Ken left.

  I was numb, a squat glass of Jameson in my hand and looked around the destruction. Shattered glass that I had swept into piles, but left there as I started to cry at the sight. I looked at the pictures he destroyed, my office and the dishes… none of it mattered. He did those things to hurt me, and then he killed the most precious thing in my life.

  Just shot her, then again for good measure.

  As if that wasn't enough, the demented fiend inside of him dragged her dying injured body down my hall and placed her in my bed.

  The police were here for hours taking pictures and finger printing, but the file I had on Kendal and the fact he was released the day before stacked a lot of cards against him. Once they left I wanted to clean the mess and get rid of the evidence that he finally hurt me, but couldn’t. Every time I closed my eyes, or looked too close at the destruction I would see her take that final breath and lose the will.

  Alex called me at four this morning to let me know he was coming home, but heading to the police station first. As my attorney he was able to gather what information he could on the investigation. Feeling him hug me close now, I let the comfort soothe me as I cried over my baby.

  "Whatcha' got goin' on here peanut?" He asks and leans down to sniff the glass of whiskey and making a face of discomfort.

  "Just… just needed to calm down." I sip from the glass and look at the clock on my wall. It is just after eleven in the morning so I have faith I can keep the drinking up until I pass out. Then, like a flicker of a really gruesome movie, I see her dying alone in my bed.

  I look at Al. "I can't sleep here."

  He nods and rubs my back. "I have extra rooms at my place, but…" He looks over his shoulder at Neil and he nods. "Neil and I were talking on our way here from the police station. We think it might be a good idea to get the hell out of dodge. He has a guest house on his vineyard you can stay in until you can get the movers here to clear out"

  "Dante will be here in about another hour or so…" I sip from my whiskey and look back to the shattered glass surrounding my home. "I think I might just go back with D, Al. She was the only reason I came home, to sort out moving and selling this place…" I look around, seeing the hallway to my room and the blood on the floor. "Now I want to burn it down and leave it all behind."

  He nods in understanding and kisses me on the top of my head. "I don't blame you at all Mal, but I have bought you too many fine designer labels to let them burn so let's not have a fire until we save the Dior."

  His phone lights up and I see Kyra's face on his screen and I miss her terribly. "Hey sweets." He says and stands to take the call in the kitchen while he rummages through the disaster looking for a glass. He will learn soon enough that all I have is in my dishwasher.

  "All the glasses are in the dishwasher, he broke everything else." Unsure if he hears me or not, but Neil did.

  "Darling, look in the dishwasher she says." He says loud enough so that Al hears him. He looks at me with a soft kindness and moves to sit beside me. "Mallory, I am Neil."

  He puts his hand on mine over my knee and squeezes. "As first impressions go, this sucks doesn’t it?" I try to sound flippant, but it comes out drab and sad sounding and I wonder if I will laugh again.

  He seems to ponder for a moment what I asked then smiles kindly. "First impressions are tricky and stressful, but I find this one rather amazing. When you meet someone at a low point and see them with no mask or filter, you see them."

  "And what do you see Neil?" I feel the tears spill over at his sincerity.

  "I see a woman who has been brutalized and tormented by another's hate. I see strength you may not even feel, but it is there and the time will come that all of this, though horrifying, will secure itself in a place deep inside. You'll then be able to cope. Until then, you just let the people who love you, love you. You'll do that, because you trust them and that trust is proof he didn't destro
y you."

  I am lost in my pain right now, and it impresses me that a stranger see's something I do not feel. "I feel broken." I say and look him in the eyes.

  He takes both my hands in his and looks me in the eyes as well. "You are broken, but not destroyed. There is a very big difference between the two. When something is broken we work to fix it, only when it is destroyed and serves no purpose do we throw it away."

  I feel Alex place his hand on my shoulder and turn my head to see him standing there, eyes wet with unshed tears having listened to Neil. "We are never throwing you away." Alex smiles and tips the bottle of Jameson until my glass is full once again. "You're vintage Mallory. Nothing classified as vintage is perfect. Small tears, or faded in color; vintage is beautiful because of its flaws, just like you peanut."

  My best friend and this amazing stranger turned friend in the heart of my terror, wrap their arms around me and let me cry. A good ugly nasty cry where I couldn’t breathe or keep it quiet. I raged over it all and felt the loss of my Harley to the very depth of my soul. "I don't care about the dishes or pictures. He shot her Al, like it was nothing. And it was nothing to him. He did it because she was everything to me."

  He nods handing me another tissue and topping my glass off once again. And I am drunk and sloppy as I grieve. "It is exactly why he did it." He agrees and Neil nods.

  I lean to the side of my couch and rest my head on the arm, seeing little camel colored hairs in the fabric. I rub my hand over the hairs and look to Al. "She is everywhere in here."

  He looks at the arm of the couch and smiles sweetly. "She was seriously an amazing animal. She was terrifying at first, so huge and intimidating, but so gentle once she determined you were no threat to her master." He is telling Neil about her, but taps my nose as he says master.

  I pull up my photos on my phone, seeing the numerous missed calls from everyone after silencing my phone. Now Al was fielding the calls and I was grateful. I hand Neil my phone and he scrolls through one by one at my beast. "She was beautiful."

  I nod and rest my head on the arm and sleep finds me instantly.

  I am woken later, it is late in the afternoon and the sun leaves an orange glow on the walls in my office. I look around wondering how I got in here and see I am on D's chest and feel his fingers stroking my back. "Hey luv." He says and I roll in his arms and see him watching me.

  "What time is it?" I asks and sit up, still feeling the Jameson.

  "Just after six pm" He says and sits up with me and kisses me softly.

  "Why didn't you wake me?" I stand and stretch, certain I smell like a brewery.

  He pulls my hand back and I fall into his lap. He cups my face in his hands. "Because you have been through some serious trauma and haven't slept since yesterday morning." His kisses me again on the lips. "That's why."

  "Is Al still here?" I ask and rest my head against him. He can make me crazy, but he soothes me in a way nobody can.

  "Yeah and he could rule the world, I swear." He laughs and even though I think he is right, I can only smile.

  "I need to call Kyra." I say and scrub my hands over my face and rub my swollen eyes and I am willing to bet a dollar I look like shit. "She called me all night and I could only text because I was with the officers and writing a statement, but I need to talk to her. I'm sure she's freaking out."

  I stand from his lap and stretch watching as he does the same, then pulling me against him. "She's here Emjay. She came with me after I called her and told her about Harley. Nick is riding in with a few guys from the club."

  "She's here?" I ask, unable to process why Nick is riding in with the club. I walk out of the office quickly and see her at my sink doing my dishes. "Kyra!" I cry and she drops everything and opens her arms as I run to her the tears back and flowing.

  "I am so sorry about Harley, Mal." She cries and kisses me on the side of my head. "She was seriously the most remarkable beast I have ever met."

  I nod and just hold her thankful she came to me with D. It only serves to prove once again that soul mates do exist, in every type of relationship. Some people are just meant to be yours.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Present Day

  Seattle, WA

  I look around my home and see no sign that it was destroyed the night before, no sign that my protector was slaughtered here. While I was asleep, my people cleared the destruction so that I wouldn’t be reminded of it as each shard would surely do. I hug Al and Kyra, smiling at Neil, so thankful for them. I turn and lean into Dante for support.

  "Thank you so much for doing this." I motion to the entire room. "Any news?" I look to Al, as my attorney he tends to get more information for knowing most of Seattle PD.

  "They can't find him, but he is most likely on West end looking for more shit to smoke and a place to come down if he hasn’t." He takes my hand and squeezes the top.

  "What's West end?" D asks as he runs his fingers through my hair.

  Neil hands me a bottle of water, then one to D. "It's where the deranged go when they are out of options."

  "He was released on parole to his parents in Friday Harbor and given twenty four hours to report to his parole officer. We can't do anything until the morning to know if he checked in. If he does, there will be officers waiting to bring him in for questioning." He drinks from his wine and sits down. "I don't think he has any intention of returning to Friday Harbor or following through on his parole."

  "Not at all." D says and I can feel how tense he is about the whole thing. "He is definitely on the run and the shit he pulled yesterday is proof he no longer gives a shit."

  "I just want to pay to have everything moved and I will sort it out in Indiana." I say this to D, though everyone was listening.

  "Can she leave with an investigation in place?" D asks Alex who nods.

  "She isn't being investigated. She is the victim in this. They may want her to testify if they find him. In the state of Washington, cruelty to animals is a felony and he will be charged with cruelty in the first degree, that's simply one of the charges he faces." Al drinks from his wine and continues. "We have breaking and entering, aggravated stalking, violation of a protective order; the list goes on."

  D looks at me and smiles, placing his hand on my thigh. "Then let's get you packed and we can head home."

  I cannot believe we are finally here, and hate that it is on the tail end of my loss. I look at Kyra. "Can I stay with you in D's space until the house is ready?"

  "Oh my God Mal! Of course you can." She says and rubs my back lovingly.

  I watch D very close here as he stares at his phone. Then, as if realizing we were discussing the living arrangements he looks up at me and smiles too easily. Before he can tell me what he is thinking, it rings. "I'll be right back, I need to take this."

  He steps from the kitchen and out the back door, closing it behind him. "What's that about?" Alex asks and his eyes are on D.

  I balk at the question. "Please, like he would tell me." I look out at him, scared that he is involved in something and he is working with the club. I honestly couldn't care at this point if he hurts Kendal, I care that he doesn’t ruin both our lives trying to even a score. I just wanted to go to Indiana and never look back. My future was D and it would be destroyed if he left me for some dumb ass pointless vendetta

  Kendal didn't stop last time D sent him a message, any point he needed to make now would still fall on deaf ears. "Kyra…" I don't know if I dare ask. I know that both Nick and D were the outlaws in their club. It was never a murder for hire thing, but they broke laws as easily as they broke faces. If something was happening, she would have to know right?

  "I have a strict policy Mal, one Nick knows I live by. It starts with don't ask and ends with don't tell."

  Okaaaaaay.

  "And what are you thinking there peanut?" Al asks, but they all know exactly what I think. D only confirmed it when he came inside a few moments later.

  I stood from the stool at my counter a
nd took his arm, guiding him until we were in my room. "Whatever you think you are going to do. Stop. He isn't worth it D." My lip quivers as all the worst scenarios play out in my mind

  "What are you talking about luv?"

  "Retribution. I know you are looking for him to deliver your own punishment. I don't want that D." The thought of him rotting in prison because he was too mad to see reason and killed Kendal, terrified me.

  "That was Jess. Rayen has an ear infection and a fever. She took her to the emergency room and was filling me in, Crazy." He pulls me into him and holds me close, knowing I am unraveling stitch by stitch right now.

  "Oh shit D! I am sorry. Is she okay? If you need to go home now I understand. I can stay with Alex or Neil and follow you in a few days."

  "I'm not leaving Seattle without you Emjay." He kisses me and soothes me instantly. "I do need to leave for a little while. I need to go drop payment off to the officers that the club paid."

  He looks guilty, but he knew I was aware he called in that favor and so I nod in understanding. "You're coming back though right? I can't sleep here D."

  "Of course I am. I'm gonna need you to go with Al though. I don't want anyone here, especially you. I will pick you up from Al's and we will go to a hotel."

  I nod and hold him close as long as I can until I know he needs to leave. "I love you. I'll be back soon okay luv?"

  "Please be careful."

  He nods and kisses me goodbye. I head back into the kitchen to my friends. "I need to pack a bag real quick then we can leave."

  "Are you hungry? Have you eaten today?" Kyra asks and rinses what few dishes I have.

  "I haven't eaten, but honestly I have no appetite."

  "You need to eat peanut. Food first then my place. I'll spring for Chinese take out." Al follows me to my room, placing his opinion on everything in my closet that I need to pack.

  "It's an overnight bag Al. I need pajamas, face wash, toothbrush and clothes to get me home in. I do not need three pairs of heels and two designer pairs of jeans." I removed everything he was throwing in and slipped the back pack over my shoulders. "Let's bounce."