Ugly, Perfect

by Melanie Walker

  "You would think that of all your fabulous clothes you would want to wear them."

  He sounds truly sad and I finally laugh at the stank face he gives me.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Present day

  Seattle WA

  "The victim was found mutilated in an abandon Seattle house on the North end. The police haven't provided names of the victim who is listed as critical."

  I listen to the news anchor as she drones on about the victim in what sounds like a heinous crime. I feel D as he slips his arms around my waist and kisses my neck. "Mornin' luv."

  I turn in his arms and kiss him gently on the lips. "How did you sleep?"

  "Amazing. I just talked to Rayen, she's feeling a little better and wants me home."

  Poor thing. I feel awful that he left so suddenly and she was sick. "I'm ready whenever you are."

  "Luv, I was ready the day you left." He pours a coffee and sits beside me at the bar, the news anchor reporting again on the mutilated body.

  "The unidentified victim was found in the home after both hands had been removed as well as his tongue in a gruesome display. Officers aren't releasing much, however there is speculation that this could be gang related. This is Sonya Jimenez reporting live from Seattle's, North End."

  "What happened there? Dead body I take it?" D asks and keeps watching the news as the weather comes on.

  "No I think he is alive…I didn't listen too much. " I shiver at the images my mind creates. "Too graphic and scary knowing people that twisted exist."

  He laughs and shakes his head. "Only you would feel sorry for a dude who's hands were cutt off and his tongue cut off. Sounds to me like this dude pissed off the wrong people and probably got what was coming for him."

  "Seriously? Nobody deserves that D." I say and shake the feeling of fear from my spine. I hate violence, I abhor it. And he is so very scary when he talks like that.

  "Hey, all I'm saying is this dude probably knew damn well he shouldn’t have fished in someone else's pond. The fact they removed his tongue and no names released, probably means dude is a snitch. Instead of babying the fucking piece of shit, think of who he hurt to deserve such a punishment."

  "Oh is that how you sleep at night?" I snap, hating this conversation. He is too opinionated about all of this and something about the story is freaking me out.

  "Like a baby, luv." He sips from his coffee and continues to watch the news, obviously anxious to hear more.

  Before I can ask him why he is so engrossed, my phone rings and it's Al. "Hey you, you're up bright and early for a Sunday."

  "That's because I was just notified that Kendal was found." He sounds sick by the news and we should be celebrating.

  "Holy shit! That's wonderful. What has he said? Did he admit anything?" I grab the remote to the television and mute it, placing the call on speaker so D can hear.

  "No, and peanut I doubt he ever will. They found him beaten bloody, hands chopped off and his tongue cut off and shoved in the garbage disposal of the rat infested flop house he was hiding in. It is all over the news."

  I look at D, wanting to be sick at the gruesome details. D is watching me close and I know, I fucking know he did this. "Do they have leads on who did this to him?" I ask, knowing they won't.

  "No, but do you know if he had mob connections? This is way too gory for the typical junkie psychopath."

  I shake my head no, aware he can't see me. "She is in shock Al, but she is shaking her head no." D comes close and places his hand at the small of my back. "I'm going to have her call you back my man, she's pale as fuck right now."

  "Okay, take care of her and I will call with any updates. I have a call with the D.A. at nine so hopefully I will have more details."

  He ends the call and just sits beside me in silence until I can't take it. "Did you have anything to do with this?"

  He laughs without humor. "I wish, but sadly no."

  "D!" I yell and stand unable to sit still a second longer. "This isn't funny, it's scary. What if who did this to him was who hurt Harley?"

  He looks at me like I am crazy. "Because he killed your dog Luv, not the mafia. Even if they wanted to hurt him, you wouldn’t be the way they'd do it. He hates you even if he can recognize it. The mob would be sick by the actions. They consider themselves classy, organized and far too intelligent to do anything so obvious."

  "How do you know?" I ask and he just shakes his head no.

  "Not the mobs style. They wouldn’t kill the dog of the woman he stalks, and I guarantee if it was the mob they know all about you. Killing you or Harley would serve no purpose to them. As fucked up as it is, they were a day late in getting to him."

  "Stop acting like you're enjoying this." I cry.

  "I am enjoying it Emjay. This sack of shit has been torturing you for years, killed Harley and could have killed you. I do not care in the slightest that he was tortured and is dead or could be. He deserves it and more."

  "It's terrifying how you reason." I say and scrub my hands over my face trying to process what I just learned.

  "Yeah? It shouldn’t. All my reason and logic in this is emotionally based on you and your survival. I don't give a fuck how mean you think I am for it, but I don't give two shits about him and I will sleep more sound than I have in eight fucking years knowing he is a helpless sack of shit now."

  "D…" I say, shocked by the rage and utter disdain he has for Ken.

  "Done, Emjay. So done. I am thrilled he doesn’t have hands to touch you with." He points at the television and looks at me. "I don't care why it happened and whoever did it. I hope remains a mystery because whoever it was deserves a fucking medal not a prison sentence. Fuck him. Period!"

  I can't bear to look at him right now and say nothing before I walk away and slam the bathroom door shutting him out. I know I shouldn’t care. I know it is the dumbest thing to be upset over, but his hatred for Ken scares me because it has his name written all over it. I know he had something to do with it and I am too scared to confirm my feelings.

  "Emjay, the police are here." Dante calls from the outside of the bathroom door from the hotel room.

  I open the door immediately and step out. Two detectives dressed in street clothes with polo shirts that say they are from the Seattle PD. "Miss Wayne?" One says and I nod.

  He reaches for my hand. "My name is Detective Mike Wallace with the Seattle Police department. I work in the Gang task force there as does my partner."

  The other one shakes my hand, a kind smile on his face. "I am Paul Vincent."

  "How can I help you both?" I ask and sit on the opposite side of D, across from them in the small kitchen nook the suite has.

  "Kendal Downing was found last night, severely mutilated. We have a rather large file on you listed as the victim in the majority of his charges in Washington state. He was extradited back to Colorado for the time he served and concluded charges here as well. He was released three nights ago on early parole for overcrowding and he was at the end of his sentence. We are hoping that you can help us piece together what happened after his release."

  I laugh without an ounce of humor and look at them. "Yeah he trashed my house and murdered my dog night before last."

  They nod, both writing notes down in these little hand held device things with a stylus. "Did he try to contact you in any way?" Detective Wallace asks me.

  "No. I was notified via voicemail that he had been released. It was an automated call. I got the message while I was on a flight home from Indiana. By the time I was home, my boyfriend had notified the police on a civil call so they would be there as I made sure my house was in order." I bow my head toward Dante and the images of Harley flash through my mind. "There, inside on my bed was my Great Dane, Harley. Shot and left to suffer and eventually I had to let her go because there was nothing left to be done for her. I put her down that night."

  Detective Wallace closed his eyes and nodded. "I understand she was a service animal and was there to protec
t you?"

  I nod and reach for a tissue to dry my eyes. "Dante gifted her to me when she was five months old and that was five years ago."

  "You're Dante Kole?" Detective Wallace says and his voice has an entirely different tone. Authoritative now, intentional. I hated that he spoke to him in that tone, because it only solidified my fears that D did this to Kendal.

  I don't want to doubt him. Not now. We were finally together, no doubt or fear.

  "Can you tell us where you were last night, Mr. Kole?" Detective Wallace asked.

  D leans back, not a care in the world, folding his hands behind his head. "I was at your department actually. I wanted more than where the typical junkies hid in Seattle. I wanted to know how my woman was still unsafe when she had done everything right. I wanted to know why the department of corrections fucked everything up with an automated call that came over twelve hours later than when he was released."

  "Can we verify that through whatever officers you spoke with?" Detective Vincent asked and I was shocked he was leading in considering Wallace seemed like the seasoned officer.

  Dante gives them the names and I recognize them immediately as the officers he paid for. It told me that yes, he may have been there to gather information as well as make the payment my safety cost. It could just as easily be a paid for cover. The last time he went after Ken he paid into Colorado undetected and back out the same way.

  It hits me, that if I am right. He was there buying an alibi.

  "Sure you can call them." He laughs, still too relaxed. It eases my fears as harshly as it ignites them. "I am willing to bet you can see it on your security tapes."

  Wallace nods, but Vincent digs deeper. "How long were you there and aproximately what time?"

  "Well I don't have approximates, but we checked in here after eleven. There was an hour give or take that I was 'undetected' because I was getting Mallory from her friend Alex's and after chatting for a few then checking in here… I would say about an hour. You would have to check traffic cameras to trace my rental car, and that's if there is traffic cameras though I am sure there are near a large precinct. But, hey- worse case scenario, check traffic reports and judge the time it took, call Alex and ask if he knows the approximate time I was there and then do the math."

  Both detectives and myself are looking at him like he is a lunatic with serious attitude.

  "All that…" He says and motions to the drawn out investigation they could create. "Or fucking ask me if I decided to go all vigilante in my rage?"

  "D?" I gasp and smack his arm blown away by his candor.

  "Did you?" Vincent asks, and all three of us have eyes on him.

  D looks at me and softens, dropping the tough guy, no fear of the law act and takes my hand in his. "Can I tell you the truth without judgment?"

  Both detectives tell him yes

  "No. I didn't. But I wish I had. I would have done worse. I loathe him. He is poison, a cancer on society. He preys on those weaker than him and has a rap sheet to prove it. He hates her because she fights him, she never backs down. She has gone the extra mile to protect herself and her home. He hates her for that. I admire it."

  Vincent nods and looks to Wallace to guide him. I wonder if he is as speechless as I am. "And what about people that could do it for you, Mr. Kole? Do I need to dig deeper, and if I do will I find you at the end of this?"

  He laughs like a complete sociopath. "You boys are smart. You know exactly who I am, or was. I have no business with an MC anymore and even if I did, let's get one thing straight." He now leans forward, steeples his fingers like the Don of the mob family. "I would take the pleasure in tearing his ass limb from limb. I wouldn’t be satisfied asking someone, friend or not, to do it for me. You dig your little noses all the way up his filthy reeking ass for all I care. I am nowhere in this, but go ahead and note I am a suspect for all the good it will do you. You will find nothing other than the truth."

  "And what is the truth?" I ask, shocking myself that I would join in on their investigation. Probably making him look guilty as hell, since I obviously question his morality in this.

  He looks at me with his intense stare and says nothing for long seconds and I hold my breath. "That I wish I had, a million times over Emjay. Every hair he ruffled on your head, every sleepless night, every tear. I wish I could take his life, but you would never forgive me." He looks at the detectives now. "That, is the only reason he was able to hurt her again. Because I love her too much to end him and her fear in one single bullet."

  I feel tears in my eyes and want to smack myself stupid for finding beauty in his death wish for Ken. But, I have been since the minute I met him eight years ago, have been addicted to Dante.

  "Let us do our job, by not fighting us with the he-man shit." Wallace says and stands. Vincent, D and myself follow suit. "I'm married Mr. Kole. I have three daughters and two sisters. I understand why you feel what you feel, but the only way to keep her safe, is by not letting him be the victim."

  D nods and shakes both their hands. "Here is my card and Detective Wallace's. If anything at all happens, any threats toward either of you…" He hesitates and looks at D. "Please call us and we will handle it."

  D nods and slips their cards in his wallet as I take the cards they hand me and place them near my purse. "We will be in touch."

  D looks at Wallace. "We will be in Indiana tomorrow."

  Wallace looks to me and I nod. "We rented a house last weekend and I was planning to move next week and sell my house. I was here to get all the arrangements in order and fly Harley and I home."

  Wallace nods in understanding. "I assume this all put the move on fast forward and far from Seattle?"

  "Yes sir." I say and I hope they don't tell me I have to stay.

  Instead Vincent eyes us both. "Answer our calls and stay close to Schererville Mr. Kole."

  D smiles and agrees and I hate that he wants to antagonize them.

  I lock the door behind the detectives, who are no doubt watching every move D makes and my skin is crawling with a knowledge I can no longer deny.

  "You did this, and I know you did so do not lie to me D." I say and spin on him with mad fury in my eyes.

  I expect lies and bullshit. I expect promises that he didn't do shit. I expect him to, at the very least be upset that I keep pushing this. But he looks at me, with truth. "You, Mallory… will never know. His attacker will never be found and you will never get the answers you want. No amount of begging, crying or running away from me will give you the answer you want."

  "You just gave me everything I needed to know." I walk to the door, hands shaking and I can't begin to process what he just admitted.

  "I gave you the truth. You need to accept that truth Mal." He sounds terrifying to me. I know what he is capable of now and I know he is comfortable with finishing Ken. Might still.

  "Yeah, and that truth is a butt load full of 'yeah, I did it! So what'!"

  "Emjay, if I did it or f I didn't are the answers you will never get. You have to trust me here and nothing else. Not what happened to him, not why, but that he is gone. He is gone for the B and E on your house, the killing of Harley and a shitload more charges." He points at me, then slams his hand on the counter. "That, is all the truth you need!"

  "Do you have any idea how this makes me feel? Any at all?" I cry out at the truth blaring, blinding, in my face.

  "Off the top of my head? Safe!" I roll my eyes and want to scream. "For the first time in your adult life, you finally don't have a thing to fear from Kendal."

  "Because you chopped his hands off, took his tongue…" I feel my stomach roll at the agony of it all. Mine, Harley's, Kens and even Dante's. The vicious way this all comes to a dramatic and painful end for all of us. "You took his voice and the ability he could ever have one. Should have spooned his eyes out D, then he could never identify who hurt him!"

  He laughs at that and I feel tremors wrack my spine. "It's a damn good idea; hauntingly good. Maybe I will if he still
fucks with you in ten to twenty-five years when he gets out of prison. Maybe then you'll appreciate the gift of his suffering for once so you could have a moments peace."

  I cup my face in my hands, rubbing between my eyes trying to releive the absolute worst tension from breaking through my skull. "Why can't you just once ease my fear, my fucking suffering and tell me what I need to know?" My voice is soft, gentle because the fight is gone. I know what truth in this I believe. I don't know why I need vindication from him telling me yes he did it. But I do. He is my forever, and that happily ever after I waited on hangs on that one missing piece.

  He squats in front of me, pulling my hands from my face and cups my chin so I will look at him. "Baby, you have all the truth you need. You are over thinking shit and scaring yourself. I am here Mal, we are where we have always wanted to be. The stars aligned, fate said fuck it I'm bored, let them be happy… and you are still struggling to see the big picture."

  "And what is that D? Turning a blind eye to the fact that you mutilated another human being with some sick sense of vigilante revenge?"

  "Luv, the big picture is simple."

  I look at him, every hope, wish and prayer hanging out in the ether for him to show me his view in a way I will understand and still be able to live with myself and love him. "Fuck him, Luv. Fuck Kendal and whoever got him. Knowing will not fix it, take it away or solve anything."

  I place my fingers over my lips and I understand. "I don't need to know who did it D. I need to know you didn't, that you had nothing to do with it." I shake my head as tears fall. "I need to know you wouldn’t do it."

  "I admit to nothing, but why Emjay? Why can't I be the guy to save you? No white horse, no valiant shield. Just me and the rage he caused in me since the minute, literally, the minute I met you?"

  "Because it's wrong D." My answer comes so easily. It isn't complex or inscrutable. It is simply wrong.