Cast into Doubt

by Patricia MacDonald

  ‘It wasn’t that bad,’ Talia scoffed. ‘You always exaggerate.’

  ‘Don’t tell me what I remember. Don’t tell me what I should feel about her,’ Shelby insisted.

  Talia sighed. ‘You never cared about her feelings. You walked away and never gave us a thought. Mother always said that about you. Shelby does exactly as she pleases and the hell with everybody else. But I never thought you would stoop to this. Is that what you’re really doing here? Trying to figure out how your pitiful contribution to her care has been spent?’

  Shelby stared at her sister’s face which was devoid of any recognizable emotion. ‘This has nothing to do with Mother,’ she said. ‘I’m here because somebody paid for Bud Ridley to go on that cruise. I think somebody sent him there to throw my daughter overboard,’ she blurted out.

  Talia looked stunned, and for a moment she did not speak. And then she shook her head. ‘And you think I did it?’

  ‘I was just . . . I didn’t know,’ said Shelby, but even as she spoke, she was wishing she had never started this conversation. For a moment she felt frightened of her sister. Frightened to see that same fury blooming in her sister’s eyes that she had so often seen in her mother’s.

  ‘So, wait a minute. That’s why you’re looking through my papers. To see if I paid for someone to take that cruise and kill your daughter?’

  Shelby nodded. ‘Yes.’ Even as she uttered the word, Shelby realized that it was the worst accusation she could ever make. To level it at her sister was tantamount to breaking every tie between them that ever existed. There was no taking it back, no matter what. The word hung in the air between them.

  ‘Oh, for heaven’s sakes,’ said Talia.

  Shelby stared at her.

  ‘Why would I do that?’ Talia demanded.

  ‘To get back at me,’ said Shelby. ‘For leaving you with all the responsibility for Mother. For not helping you.’

  Talia sighed, and her shoulders heaved. ‘Look, Shelby, if you feel guilty, that’s your problem. Personally, I will never have to ask myself if I did enough for Mother, if I made her happy. It’s you two who will have to suffer. You and Glen. Just don’t come crying to me someday, saying that you’re sorry. If you’re sorry then, it will be too late.’

  Shelby stared at her sister. It was as if her heinous accusation had not even penetrated. Talia was not offended. She did not understand that Shelby had suffered the most grievous loss in the world. She did not even grasp that Chloe was the most important thing in Shelby’s life. Shelby thought about that impersonal sympathy card which Talia had sent Faith to buy for her. Chloe’s death had not really registered with Talia. To Talia, only one person mattered. She was devoting her life to the person she loved most, and, if she felt chagrin, it was because her brother and sister didn’t see it her way. They were missing their chance.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ said Shelby, suddenly ashamed of the enormity of her mistake. ‘I shouldn’t have said that.’

  ‘Said what?’ Talia asked.

  ‘Well, I shouldn’t have come here and rifled through your papers. I shouldn’t have implied that you might have made a deal with Faith’s father.’

  ‘I don’t know Faith’s father,’ Talia complained. ‘Why in the world would I make a deal with him?’

  ‘You’re right,’ said Shelby. ‘It makes no sense.’ Once again, she felt as if the answer to her questions had slipped from her hands and evaporated into the air.

  ‘So if you’re not going to help, why don’t you just go?’

  ‘I guess I will,’ said Shelby. ‘I need to get Jeremy.’

  Talia looked puzzled, as if she didn’t know whom Shelby was talking about. And then her gaze cleared and she looked bored. ‘Well, go ahead then,’ she said. ‘You’re no help to me here. As usual.’

  TWENTY-SEVEN

  The next morning, before dawn, someone pounding on the front door of Chloe’s house awakened Shelby. She rushed down the stairs, tying the knot on her robe, and opened the door.

  A couple stood on the doorstep surrounded by suitcases. They were both tall and thin, with glasses and short gray hair. His was in a crew cut, and hers was in a little silver cap. They both wore baggy pants, soft shirts, and sneakers. ‘Shelby?’ said the woman.

  ‘You must be Vivian,’ said Shelby. ‘And Hugh. Come on in.’

  The Kendricks, though missionaries by vocation, did not dress in clerical garb or brandish Bibles. They both had a relaxed, genial appearance. Vivian did not leave the heavy lifting for her husband. Together she and Hugh picked up their assorted bags and wedged themselves through the front door. Vivian set hers down in the hall with a sigh. ‘There we go.’ She looked at Shelby with concern. ‘This is a terrible way to finally meet, isn’t it?’

  ‘It’s a very tough time,’ Shelby admitted. ‘But I’m glad you’re here.’

  ‘How are you holding up, dear?’ Vivian asked kindly. ‘I’m so sorry about Chloe. Such a lovely girl.’

  ‘It’s been tough,’ said Shelby. ‘I’m lucky to have Jeremy. He keeps me so busy I . . . I don’t have much time to think about it.’

  ‘Still,’ said Vivian. ‘The Lord doesn’t give us a more difficult trial than that – the death of a child. I can’t tell you how my heart aches for you.’

  Shelby thanked her.

  ‘I know this is an uncivilized time to be showing up at the door,’ said Hugh. ‘But we’ve been in transit for the better part of twenty-four hours.’

  ‘You must be exhausted,’ said Shelby.

  They looked at one another and nodded. ‘We’re pretty tired,’ Hugh said.

  ‘You should lie down,’ Vivian said to her husband. She turned back to Shelby. ‘He’s had some problems with a heart arrhythmia. He needs rest.’

  ‘Well, you can go upstairs to Rob and Chloe’s room and stretch out on the bed.’

  ‘I think I’ll do that for a few minutes,’ said Hugh.

  Vivian rubbed her husband’s shoulder tenderly. ‘That’s a good idea. Go and rest for a while.’

  Once Hugh had climbed the stairs, Vivian settled herself on the living room sofa and sipped some tea that Shelby had brought her.

  ‘I’d love to hear about your life in Southeast Asia,’ said Shelby, trying to stifle an early morning yawn.

  ‘Oh, there’ll be time for that,’ said Vivian. ‘You and I need to get to know one another. After all, we have a grandchild in common. I’ll just be so glad to see Jeremy and Molly again. The last time I saw Jeremy he was an infant.’

  ‘They’ll be glad to see you, too,’ said Shelby.

  ‘Do you know when Rob can come home?’ Vivian asked.

  ‘The doctor said maybe today,’ said Shelby. ‘But he’s pretty beat up. He may not even be able to climb the stairs. I figure he can sleep in that recliner if it’s necessary.’

  ‘Do they know how it happened?’ Vivian asked, frowning.

  ‘Actually, they do,’ said Shelby. ‘Apparently he got into an argument with some kids when he was buying gas. They followed him and ran him off the road. Luckily, the police have them in custody.’

  Vivian shook her head. ‘Oh my God, that’s awful. Poor Rob. All he’s been through. Losing Chloe, when he’d finally found happiness. And now this.’

  Shelby felt the color rise to her cheeks. ‘They did seem happy together.’

  ‘Oh definitely,’ said Vivian. ‘Lianna was never the right woman for him. Just between you and me and the lamppost, the only reason he married her was because she got pregnant and he wasn’t about to walk out on his responsibilities. Not that he regretted it, mind you. He adored Molly from day one. But the marriage . . . let’s just say, it wasn’t the best of times for him. He didn’t complain, but I could tell. He would have stuck it out, of course, if she hadn’t left him. He’s honorable that way.’

  Shelby certainly wasn’t going to be the one to break the news about Molly’s parentage. Rob could tell his parents about that. More than anything, she was stunned to hear Rob’s mother’s per
spective on his marriage to Lianna. An unhappy alliance, that only occurred because Lianna told him she was carrying his baby? Chloe, Shelby thought sadly, had worried for nothing.

  ‘But when he got together with Chloe – well, the whole tone of his emails changed. Chloe was just so much more right for Rob than Lianna ever was. That time we came to visit, after Jeremy was born, was the happiest I’d ever seen my son. And now she’s gone. He’s lost her.’ Vivian’s eyes welled with tears. ‘He’s had to endure so much.’

  ‘Chloe adored him,’ Shelby said honestly. ‘He’s a fine man.’

  Vivian sighed. ‘Well, we’ll have a bit of a rest and then we’ll go and get him at the hospital. Do what we can to ease the burden for him.’

  Shelby nodded. ‘I think once I get Jeremy up and dressed I’ll go back to my apartment.’

  ‘I’m sure you could use a break,’ said Vivian.

  ‘No that so much as I want to give you folks a little extra space. And time to get to know Jeremy. He’s a wonderful kid.’

  ‘He goes to preschool, doesn’t he?’ Vivian asked.

  ‘Yes. His teacher is an old friend of your family’s – Darcie Fallon?’

  ‘My goodness. Little Darcie is teaching school? She was an adorable child. Always following Rob around like he was her big brother.’

  ‘Well, she’s very devoted . . . to both of them. Rob and Jeremy. If you need anything, I know you can rely on her,’ Shelby said.

  ‘That’s good to know. We’ll all have to pitch in to help Rob now. Jeremy will need all the love and support he can get. Especially from his grandparents,’ said Vivian pointedly.

  ‘I’m always here for him,’ said Shelby, her voice shaking a little.

  Vivian reached out and grabbed Shelby’s hand with her own. ‘I know you are,’ she said.

  Shelby was only able to return to her apartment by promising Jeremy that she would see him the very next day. He was uncertain about these strange new grandparents until Vivian assured him that they were going to pick up his dad at the hospital and bring him home. He immediately forgot Shelby’s departure in the excitement over his father’s return home. Shelby felt incredibly grateful to Vivian and Hugh for the kind, low-key way that they handled their grandson. She knew she was leaving him in loving hands, even if it was only for a little while.

  Shelby was running a load of laundry in her kitchen and putting together a simple supper for herself when the phone rang. To her complete amazement, it was her sister, Talia, sounding almost cheerful.

  ‘I’m surprised to hear from you,’ Shelby said. ‘I thought maybe you weren’t speaking to me.’

  ‘Why wouldn’t I be speaking to you?’ said Talia.

  ‘Never mind,’ said Shelby.

  ‘I’m calling because I thought you might want to know, since you were accusing him yesterday.’

  ‘Who are you talking about?’ Shelby asked. Her sister had never called her to discuss someone other than their mother or Glen.

  ‘Faith’s father,’ said Talia, and Shelby could hear the satisfaction in her voice. Far from being angry at Shelby, she was proud to have this information to offer her sister. ‘He killed himself last night.’

  Shelby’s knees went weak. ‘What?’

  ‘Yeah. Faith called to say she wasn’t coming in. Apparently, he hanged himself.’

  ‘Oh my God,’ said Shelby, recoiling from the mental image.

  ‘Faith said he had a terminal illness,’ said Talia offhandedly. ‘Probably wanted to avoid the slow decline.’

  Shelby’s mind whirred. She thought about her confrontation with Bud Ridley and felt a nagging sense of culpability. Had her threats sent him over the edge? No, she thought. If she had been wrong about his part in Chloe’s death, it wouldn’t have affected him at all. It was because she was right that he had taken this drastic step. His actions actually confirmed her suspicions. She was certain now that someone had hired him – it just wasn’t Talia.

  ‘Did you hear me?’ said Talia.

  ‘I heard you,’ said Shelby.

  ‘I couldn’t tell. You didn’t say anything.’

  ‘I’m thinking,’ said Shelby. Bud’s suicide seemed to say, louder than words, that she had confronted him with at least part of the truth. But Shelby had to know if Bud had admitted to anything before he died. Left a note. Something to implicate the person who had engaged him.

  ‘What is there to think about?’ asked Talia.

  ‘I’m just wondering . . .’ Shelby realized that she needed to see Faith or Peggy. To question them. But their hour of shock and grief was no time to start making accusations against their dead father and husband.

  ‘Wondering what?’

  ‘Are there services? Or a wake?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ said Talia impatiently.

  ‘If there’s a wake, you should really go and pay your respects,’ said Shelby slowly.

  ‘Why?’ said Talia. ‘I said I was sorry. That’s enough.’

  Sometimes Shelby wondered how her sister managed to function in the world. The conventions of life had no meaning for her. ‘Talia. Come on. You work with her every day. It’s the least you can do. You’d expect Faith to show up if the tables were turned. If it were mother.’

  ‘Mother would never kill herself,’ Talia said indignantly.

  ‘I meant, if she were to die. That’s how people show that they care about you – by showing up.’

  ‘I don’t care about Faith that way,’ she insisted.

  That’s probably true, Shelby thought. She heard no sympathy or compassion in Talia’s voice. Even Shelby, who sincerely believed that Bud had pushed Chloe overboard, was able to imagine Peggy’s shock and sympathize with Faith’s grief.

  There was a component of empathy missing in Talia, but that was hardly news to Shelby. And she was not about to let her sister off the hook. She intended to go to the visitation with Talia, so that her presence there would seem natural. ‘Do you want to hurt her feelings?’ Shelby asked. ‘Because if you don’t show up, her feelings will be hurt. And that’s not a good way for an assistant to feel.’

  Talia was silent for a moment. ‘She is a good assistant,’ Talia admitted.

  ‘Exactly. I’ll go with you.’

  ‘Why?’ Talia asked.

  Shelby wasn’t about to explain that perhaps the link to Chloe’s killer could be found at Bud Ridley’s wake. ‘It’ll make it easier,’ Shelby said. She was already searching for Bud’s death notice on her computer as they spoke. She located it. ‘The first viewing is tonight. We’ll go and get it over with.’

  ‘I can’t leave mother,’ said Talia.

  ‘Get Nadia to stay with her,’ said Shelby. ‘Tell her I’ll pay her double.’

  TWENTY-EIGHT

  Shelby and Talia hurried past a half a dozen smokers who were huddled, collars up, under the eaves and entered the vestibule of the funeral home, shaking the rain off of their umbrellas. Shelby consulted the board with names of the dead who rested inside. She had heard of wedding factories, but this facility seemed to be a funeral factory with a dozen or more of the departed ensconced in the variously themed rooms inside. ‘The Columbus Room,’ she said to Talia. ‘Come on.’

  Talia followed her sister into the wide, dimly lit hallway with its thick carpet and imitation-Venetian chandeliers. There were letter boards beside the double doors, indicating which of the deceased rested in that room. Between the double doorways were thickly padded faux-leather benches where people could sit for a while and escape the grief of the other mourners, the cloying smell of the funeral flowers, or the sight of the departed.

  Shelby went down the hall until she located the Columbus room. She gestured for Talia, who was hanging back near the doors to the vestibule, to join her. Reluctantly, Talia shuffled over to her sister.

  ‘I’m not staying here for long,’ Talia said in a normal speaking voice that was startling in the hush of the funeral home.

  ‘We don’t have to stay long,’ said Shelby. ‘
Just speak to the family and sit for a few minutes.’

  ‘I don’t want to.’ Talia squirmed like a child. ‘You made me do this.’

  ‘Just take it easy,’ said Shelby. ‘It’s rude to be in too big of a hurry.’

  Shelby led the way. The room had folding chairs which were set up to accommodate a crowd of a hundred or more. There was no need for that many chairs tonight at the viewing of Bud Ridley. There were about a dozen people scattered in the front few rows, in pairs or groups of three or four.

  The open casket was at the front of the room, flanked by gladioli in urns. In the front row, facing the casket, Peggy, Faith, and Faith’s husband, whom Shelby recognized from the wedding picture in Peggy’s house, were seated, wearing black. Shelby gestured to Talia to follow her, and they went down the side aisle and walked up to the casket. Shelby looked in at Bud. It was hard to believe that she had seen him alive just the day before. The undertaker had liberally pancaked his face and neck so that his complexion was an orangey-pink, and the bruises around his neck were minimized. The embalmed body looked like a life-size, homely doll, lying stiffly on a bed of satin.

  You killed my daughter, Shelby thought, looking at him. Your suicide is the proof. She closed her eyes for a moment, as if she were praying, and took a deep breath.

  Talia glanced at the body and then turned away. She walked over to Faith and stiffly muttered ‘Sorry, Faith.’

  Shelby turned around.

  ‘Oh, Dr Winter, how nice of you to come. This is my husband, Brian. And this is my mom.’

  Talia grimaced as she shook hands with each of them. Peggy was slump-shouldered, her face puffy from weeping. She greeted Talia politely, wiping her eyes with a balled-up Kleenex.

  Talia hastily excused herself, and took a seat halfway to the back of the room. She indicated to Shelby that she should hurry up about it. Shelby ignored her sister. She greeted Faith, who seemed surprised and almost flustered to see her again. She murmured her condolences to Faith and her husband, and then moved on to Peggy.