Devoted to You

by Rebecca King

  When Jerry looked at him, waiting for an explanation, Aidan sighed and quickly recounted what had happened.

  “Do you think Edwards has worried her or something?”

  “I don’t know,” Aidan sighed. “But I damned well intend to find out. One thing is for definite; I don’t want that damned nurse in my house but can’t find a way to get rid of her. Now, I need to know what her motives are before I decide whether to call the magistrate or not.”

  With that, Aidan opened the drawer to the table beside him.

  “It is cold I am afraid, but try this. Take only a small piece, and spit it into the fire once you have tasted it,” he instructed as he cut a tiny piece off each item and held them out to Jerry.

  Jerry’s brows lifted but he did as instructed. His nose wrinkled at the unusual taste, and he gladly spat the food into the fire.

  “What is that?” he asked as he sat back down.

  “Laudanum. It’s disgusting,” Aidan replied.

  He explained what had happened with the breakfast, and the staged incident that had upset Petal so much, and watched his brother’s face harden.

  Jerry sighed. “I think it is safe to say she has been sent here to try to ensnare you, correct?”

  “The very thought leaves me cold,” Aidan muttered with a nod. “But, the dowager just happened to re-appear in the bedroom at the precise moment I had no choice but to lean on Edwards for support. However, when asked she couldn’t come up with a reason for doing so.”

  “You were set up,” Jerry reported. “So, we can only assume that Edwards is here to catch herself a husband. If she has to drug you to do it then she will, obviously.”

  “Not bloody likely,” Aidan declared fervently. “I am wise to her now, and won’t let my guard down again while she is in this house.”

  Jerry snorted. “Well, I think that unless you are incredibly careful, you are going to be trapped by a scheme of some sort. You will then have to marry her because her family will insist upon it. However, if you are removed from the marriage market entirely, then Edwards has no reason to stay.”

  “Are you actually scheming against them?” Aidan asked, not sure how he felt about being forcefully pushed into marriage to Petal either.

  Strangely, he didn’t want to use Petal to save his own backside. He wanted Petal to be his wife, and for her to know that he wanted her, the woman.

  Wait a minute! A small voice chided. When did you realise you want Petal as your wife? Do you? Do you really?

  “I think the only way you can deal with the dowager is to play her at her own game. That means you have to scheme against them, and quickly, if they are prepared to go to such lengths to catch you unaware,” Jerry said. “I think that you had better think very carefully about what kind of woman you are looking for in your life. Do you want someone biddable? Or, are you prepared to sacrifice the life you have fought so hard to keep to marry someone the dowager’s chooses? If you do, you need to accept the untold misery it could very well bring you. If not, then you need to choose someone who appeals to you and damn the consequences. After all, people have married the oddest choices of mates and not been entirely shunned by society. Any good friend will accept both of you, or neither. Those who are real friends won’t care as long as you are happy. Those who merely want to be connected with you will make their objection known, and be offensive in their attitude against it. If they do, good riddance to them, I say.”

  “I am not going to take any of their opinions into consideration when I decide whether to marry or not. Why, it is no better than caving into the dowager’s machinations, and that is something I am never going to do,” Aidan assured him.

  “You have a good house here, and a lovely estate that is self-sufficient. You can do trade locally and survive perfectly well. The house is connected to Abbeygate, and me. Don’t ever forget that. People rely on me to keep their businesses afloat, and wouldn’t dare cause offense in case they lost my trade. I will ensure you are supported, whatever you choose to do.”

  “You actually would support a marriage to someone like Petal?”

  Jerry nodded. “I know it sounds quite mercenary, but you are providing her with a life she could never be able to afford after all. You two seem to get on well. I think you have every chance of having a long and happy marriage.”

  Aidan shook his head. “It just feels like I am using her like a, well, a kind of human shield. That isn’t what marriage should be all about. I should not be gaining a wife to hide behind.”

  Jerry grinned. “You are no coward. You are just ensuring you have a ring on your finger but are putting someone beside you whom you choose to be with. The lady in question stands to gain a hell of a lot in all of this. Look at this place. You have a hundred acres of rolling hillside, several working farms, a profitable fruit business, a beautiful family home. She will be the lady of the manor, and will undoubtedly be kept busy creating the family to go in it.”

  Aidan stared blankly out of the window while he considered that. He had never thought about it like that before. Marriage had always been an expectancy placed upon him at an early age. However, he had never truly stopped to consider what it truly meant. Not only for his way of life, but the impact it had on his future could either bring him the greatest of rewards or plunge him into the darkest pit of despair. If he had a happy marriage, with a bride who was chosen for the right reasons, then he could have a family whom he could work to raise with her. That thought suddenly lifted the looming spectre of the chain bearing marriage that had always hung over him. Instead, it opened up a doorway to an entirely different set of possibilities that filled him with a quiet sense of anticipation.

  Jerry fought a grin. Although he didn’t know much about Petal, he suspected she was devoted to Aidan, only he didn’t appear to realise it yet. She always looked at him with a special light in her eyes that was as close to adoration as Jerry had ever seen.

  Was it love?

  He knew it was on her part. As for Aidan; he was behaving like a love-struck fool. It was clear to anyone with eyes in their head that his fascination with her had started from the day he had entered the house. It had, in spite of everything, appeared to grow stronger with each day that passed. Aidan just didn’t seem to know it yet.

  Jerry knew she could read, and was a little too feisty to make a biddable maid. However, in Aidan’s case that could only be a good thing. He needed someone to challenge him; who could argue with him occasionally. A marriage where arguments never happened often became dull and boring very quickly and left either person apt to have a wandering eye. That was the last thing he wanted for his brother; whose recent trials and tribulations had nearly ended his life.

  “Look, all I am saying is that you need to think carefully about this. You don’t want to bother with the connections your status in life affords you. You have no intention of returning to the ton whether you marry or not. This estate runs well, and so does Abbeygate, even without you being married. You have no reason to worry what anyone else thinks. I am happy for you,” Jerry began. “There is just one thing I think you need to remember.”

  “What?” Aidan asked with a frown.

  “Once you start something with Petal, you are taking her out of her place in this house. If anything goes wrong between you, it will be impossible for her to return below stairs. Just think about that, that’s all I am saying. I am not suggesting for a second that anything is going to go wrong if you do decide to start up a relationship with her. But, you have to consider her side of things. If you are not entirely confident about a connection with her being a happy one, then you are best to leave her below stairs where she belongs and forget all about her. That does mean you will have to find another way of dealing with the dowager and Edwards, but I will help you where I can.”

  Aidan nodded. He had to concede that Jerry was right. This wasn’t all about him. He had to consider Petal’s position in the household, and just how difficult it would make life for her if things went wr
ong. At the moment, there was nothing more than a memory of an incredibly steamy kiss or two, and an invisible connection that left him always thinking about her. Nothing had happened as yet that couldn’t be corrected. However, he knew it wouldn’t take much for matters to escalate. In spite of their different positions in life, desire shimmered between them; he would be a fool to deny it. But was it enough?

  With that in mind, he had to maintain his good standing as much as he could. He didn’t want to earn a reputation for sullying and corrupting maids, or using servants for his personal pleasure in the bedroom. He just wasn’t that kind of employer.

  “While she is an employee in this house, I just cannot touch her,” Aidan sighed regretfully. “It just doesn’t sit well with me. She is my servant.”

  “Then let her go.”

  Aidan’s scowl deepened as he considered whether it was already too late for that.

  CHAPTER TEN

  One week later

  Petal was miserable. She was tired. She felt sick, mainly because she had eaten very little. Food didn’t hold any appeal to her anymore, which was unusual because she normally had a very healthy appetite. She picked at what was put before her but didn’t enjoy it.

  She knew exactly what was wrong, though. She missed him.

  The urge to creep upstairs when the house was quiet and make sure he was alright was tangible. Because she didn’t, she often tossed and turned throughout the night. It had become so bad that Aggy had threatened to make her sleep on the floor if she didn’t lie still.

  She swept the hearth out and absently lit the fire in the study, lost in her thoughts of the man she knew she should forget.

  The last week had been the longest in her entire life. While she knew it was best to put some distance between them, she hadn’t expected it to hurt this much. There was a physical ache somewhere in the middle of her chest that refused to go away.

  Was this what it felt like to be in love?

  But you cannot love your boss, she thought morosely.

  If she did, it was the most foolish thing she could ever do in her life. Although there was only one floor of the house between them, it might very well be an entire continent. They were worlds apart in every way. Their backgrounds were not only vastly different, but he was master of all he surveyed, and that included her. She was the lowly servant, nothing more. The fact that she had a yen for the boss was a secret she must keep to herself.

  She had no idea how she had grown to love him so quickly. They barely knew each other. Alright, he was handsome, but she had seen handsome men before and they had never affected her in this way. He was nice, but there were a lot of people of her acquaintance who were nice.

  She couldn’t explain it to anybody, even if she wanted to. Aidan had been nothing but the composite gentleman toward her. Well, except for some rather risqué kisses he barely remembered. There had been certainly no sultry looks, suggestive comments, or unwarranted touching. He had done nothing to encourage her affections. They had grown entirely of their own accord.

  The only positive thing that had come out of the last week was that Edwards had stopped sneering at her. She had taken to looking at her with an air of supreme smugness instead. But Petal refused to even acknowledge the woman’s superiority complex. She knew Edwards’ machinations would become clear to everyone in time. Now that Petal was downstairs, Edwards had taken to spending even more time in Aidan’s bedchamber. Although she had vociferously protested at Rollo carrying the trays of food up to the room, the butler had ignored her protests and continued to guard the master’s meals with all the ferocity of a dog.

  As far as Petal could tell, there had been no further incidents of the master being drugged nonsensically.

  “Petal? Rollo wants to see you,” one of the footmen announced from the library doorway.

  Petal put her cloth away and hurried into the kitchens to find Rollo and Mrs Kempton seated at the kitchen table.

  “Take a seat,” Rollo said quietly, but didn’t wait for her to take a seat before he began. “Have you heard?”

  Petal’s stomach dropped to her toes. She slumped into the chair and waited; her heart in her throat. Immediately, her thoughts turned to Edwards and the master, and she closed her eyes while she waited for Rollo to break the news.

  “Aggy is not well.”

  Her eyes popped open. “Pardon?”

  “She started being sick this morning and has gone to her room for a lie-down. I am going to get Maisie to take over the work downstairs. She is the only one who knows what to do. I need you to go back upstairs. You are the only one who knows what is required up there.”

  “I can’t.” Petal’s protest was instinctive.

  “I know you don’t want to, but the master has promised to ensure that Edwards poses no threat to you. I don’t know what he is planning. He is rather out of sorts at the moment. I think he has been in collusion with that brother of his. They have cooked something up between them in an attempt to get rid of her, but they won’t confide in me. I can’t ask what it is, but that brother of his is always here and they are always having whispered conversations. I have informed the master that there was to be no maid designated to his room for a while, but he insists you are the one who sees to his room. He has also asked that you resume reading to him.”

  Petal felt the now familiar ache in the region of her heart weigh heavily upon her. She wanted to; so very badly, but she knew it was a very foolish thing to do. Still, this was her job. There was no way out. If the master requested it then she had to comply. It wasn’t her position in the house to object.

  “If Edwards does give you any trouble, tell master, me, or Rollo. We will deal with her,” Mrs Kempton reported kindly.

  It was clear that both Rollo and Mrs Kempton considered her reluctance down to her worries over Edwards’ sniping rather than affection for Aidan.

  Suddenly, as if he had been listening in on the conversation, the bell to the master’s room rang.

  Petal closed her eyes and said a silent prayer as she left the table for the strength to get through the forthcoming meeting.

  “I had better go and see what he wants then,” she sighed reluctantly.

  “It will be alright,” Rollo assured her.

  Petal smiled absently, but deep inside she knew that it couldn’t possibly be.

  Aidan waited impatiently for someone to answer the bell.

  After his conversation with Rollo, he felt more buoyed than ever. Matters had, for once, fallen in his favour. It had been a very long week; one whole week since there had been any sighting of Petal, but he had forced the break. Just to see if she was as important to him as he thought she was.

  He had missed her; especially being able to listen to her wonderful voice while she read to him. He had missed the way she fussed over him. He wanted to see her warm smile and the mischievous twinkle in her eye whenever she laughed.

  He had missed, well, all of her, desperately.

  Now that the rather timid maid who had been attending him had fallen ill, he fully intended to take advantage of the situation to see Petal again. If it helped him make a decision once and for all on what to do about the future then he could at least achieve something during his convalescence.

  Since his conversation with Jerry, he just hadn’t been able to get the mental image out of his mind of young children playing in the garden, and running about the house. It was something that had haunted his dreams, and worried him to the point that if he didn’t see Petal soon, he was going to go downstairs and find her. He knew that if he saw her again, and felt absolutely nothing, she was definitely not the one for him. If, when he saw her he couldn’t bear for her to leave then he had to take matters into his own hands and damn the consequences.

  Over the past week, the rather stupidly ignorant Edwards had taken it upon herself to launch a charm offensive that was sleazy to say the very least. The way she insisted on only lighting one candle at night, and seating herself on the edge of his bed
made him realise he had to make a decision – and soon, before matters were taken out of his hands. He knew that besides climbing into bed with him there was nothing else Edwards could do. He could only hope and pray she wouldn’t go that far. As far as he was concerned, he would rather be a eunuch than dabble in the sins of the flesh with the chilling nurse who had matrimonial bells ringing in her ears.

  Minutes ticked by. When none of the servants appeared, he sighed deeply and wondered if Petal was avoiding seeing him. He waited a few moments more, but she still didn’t appear. His impatience grew to the point that he threw the covers back from the bed and stood up. This time, he was pleased to note that he didn’t wobble, his knees didn’t tremble, and the room didn’t sway. He made it over to the bell pull without issue and tugged several times on it to reiterate his impatience.

  Rather than return to the bed as he was supposed to, he began to wander around a little. It was good to be free of the bedclothes for a while, and he savoured the opportunity to stretch a little. While he waited, he wandered over to the window and stared absently outside. Once again, the thought of his children racing around in the gardens like he used to do with Jerry at Castlecrede, intrigued him. To the point that he felt determined to ensure that idea actually came to fruition.

  “Where the hell is she?” he snapped to himself when nobody appeared. He glanced at the clock behind him and wondered if he should go and find her after all.

  “Yes? Oh my, you are out of bed,” she gasped breathlessly when let herself into his bedchamber. She was panting slightly from the exertion of racing up the stairs as quickly as she had. Her haste had no reason behind it, though, other than eagerness to see him again.

  It was the first time she had seen him standing upright. Her first thought was that he was so incredibly tall.

  When Aidan turned to face her, everything changed.

  His eyes devoured her.