Devoted to You

by Rebecca King

  God, I have missed her, he thought, a little stunned at the force of the emotions that swept through him. She looked wonderful, if a little tired. Unsure what to make of the strong reaction to her presence in his bedchamber, he carefully blanked his thoughts and gave her a dour look.

  “It is about time you got here,” he grumbled.

  “There is chaos downstairs,” she said. She had to force herself to tear her gaze away from the broad muscular shoulders, and piercing gaze, and look at something else. To her consternation, her gaze landed on the bed. “Was there something you wanted?”

  While she waited for him to reply, she hurried over to the bed and quickly began to make it. She tried desperately to ignore just how right it felt to be with him again. However, the bittersweet emotion that brought forth the tears warned her that she had to maintain her distance, for the sake of her battered heart if nothing else.

  Yes, you, Aidan thought, but didn’t say the words out loud. Instead, he forced his attention to what she had just said.

  “Why is it carnage? What’s happened?”

  “Aggy started to feel sick. Then Edwards has fallen ill. Now Maisie is feeling poorly, and several of the footmen have fallen ill as well. Poor Rollo is racing around like a headless chicken.”

  “Is everyone alright? What’s wrong with them?”

  Aidan watched her flit around the bed, bending and twisting with lithe grace as she smoothed the sheets and shook out the blankets. The effortless way she moved captivated him and had a devastating impact on his body. Carefully turning away before she witnessed the full force of the effect she had on him, he found his thoughts return to the prospect of having children in the house.

  As the minutes ticked by, his attention was drawn back to the way she bent over the bed to smooth out the covers.

  Unaware of the direction of his thoughts, Petal talked as she worked.

  “Edwards is accusing Mrs Kempton of not cooking the meat for last night’s dinner properly. That has outraged Mrs Kempton, who denies it is her cooking. Edwards has slouched off to her room to sulk, but Rollo is run off his feet because most of the staff are sick, and Mrs Kempton is now too upset to work. She thinks everyone is accusing her of trying to poison them.”

  Aidan’s brows lifted. He was now glad that he was safely tucked upstairs out of the way, even if it was a little boring being in the same four walls all day.

  “Where is everyone now?”

  She threw him a wry look. “Well, mostly in their rooms being ill. Those of us who are well enough to work are busy looking after those who aren’t.”

  “How are you?” His voice dipped to a husky rumble before he even realised it. The atmosphere between them shifted imperceptibly into something that was warm and intimate.

  She stopped plumping the pillow she was holding and studied him.

  “I am fine,” she replied, trying her hardest to ignore it. “You must be ever so glad to be up and about now,” she added with a nod to his position beside the window.

  “I am. I have to admit that I don’t feel half as vulnerable as I did lying in that bed.”

  He tried to keep his gaze away from the delightful curve of her derriere as she bent over the bed to tuck the sheets in and shifted his stance when his body predictably responded again. He still had lingering doubts that it was right to even consider Petal might be a suitable wife. But he couldn’t ignore the wild surge of attraction he felt toward her whenever they were alone together; like now. Or how much he had missed her.

  Life just seemed dull whenever she wasn’t around.

  “Would you like me to fetch you some tea?” she asked.

  With the bed made, the fire stoked, and the room tidy, she had run out of things to do.

  “No, thank you. I should like you to read to me for a while. Another chapter should just about do it.”

  It was on the tip of her tongue to ask him why he wasn’t reading to himself but knew it was overstepping the boundaries of her position in the house.

  She collected the book and waited.

  He watched her hesitate and knew she was waiting to be told where to sit. He hated to see such a subservient side to her.

  He assessed the distance between where he stood and the chair in front of the fireplace. The bed was closer, but he really didn’t want to go back to that. With a sigh, he took a deep breath and took a step toward the fire.

  He managed it reasonably well. It was only when he was a few feet away from the chaise that his feet became tangled in the end of an upturned rug. The room suddenly swayed alarmingly. He reached out to the chaise but was too far away to grab hold of it.

  “Damn it,” he growled when his legs protested when they were being asked to hold him upright while bent at such an awkward angle.

  Petal knew he was going to fall and dropped the book as she lurched across the room toward him. She reached him just in time to save him from a rather painful fall but, to her dismay found herself plastered against him with her nose buried in his chest.

  “Petal,” he growled huskily.

  The feel of her flush against him brought forth a heartfelt groan that pushed the very limits of his self-control. He had never felt this kind of instantaneous response to any woman before upon the first contact.

  “Where do you want to go?” She gasped, desperate to keep her attention off just how right it felt to have his arms around her.

  “I just can’t do this anymore,” she muttered beneath her breath.

  “What was that?” he asked, peering down at her.

  “Nothing,” she replied blankly, unable to divulge her deepest, darkest secrets to him.

  That dreaded ache began to build around her heart again. She made herself a promise right there and then that as soon as Aggy was better, Aidan could demand what he liked. She was going to swap her duties with her friend and work downstairs from now on. This was too much for her beleaguered senses to endure. She couldn’t stand it for a moment longer. When she felt tears sting her eyes, she tried to ease away from him only to find herself wrapped in his gentle hold.

  “What is it, what’s wrong” he asked, studying the hurt on her face.

  “Nothing,” she replied. The last thing she needed right now was this tenderness from him. It battered her defences and left her helpless.

  Aidan cursed himself for his foolishness. He was busy thinking about the way his body responded while she was focused on where she could deposit him. It made him wonder if all of this desire was just a figment of his imagination. Whether it was something he wanted, needed, because he was confined to his room, rather a mutual attraction.

  His doubts were immediately quashed, though, when she looked up at him.

  To say that her soul was in her eyes was an understatement. He read in those slumberous depths all the emotions that were currently battering him and knew that this was indeed a mutual affair.

  Before she could move away, he lowered his head and captured her lips in a kiss that stole both their breaths. He sensed her hesitation but wouldn’t allow her to avoid what was happening. One hand seized the back of her head, preventing her from drawing away. He didn’t release her, not even when she didn’t immediately return his caress. It was clear from her hesitancy that she had never been kissed before. Not since the last time he had kissed her in any case. However, he persisted, refusing to allow her to ignore what lay between them.

  She couldn’t deny herself this one special moment. She didn’t want to. This was what she wanted. He was what she wanted. The dominating possession of his lips stole all sense, all thought, and made the world, and everything in it fade into insignificance. Being wrapped in his arms was the place she truly felt she belonged. It was the first time she had ever felt anything even remotely like this. It was gentle; it was as worrying as it was rewarding. It made her feel feminine and wanted; needed, yet also brought forward a sense of heartbreak unlike no other, because she knew it couldn’t last. This man could never be hers. Recklessly, she couldn�
��t draw away. When his long arms slid around her waist, drawing her closer, she stepped forward instead. She could feel his every heartbeat thundering in tune with hers. Each time he drew a breath it felt as if he was taking the air right out of her, and she surrendered it gladly. When he leaned forward, she stepped backward.

  He would have followed her to the ends of the earth. Nothing could have parted him from her. Nobody could tell him to stop. He would just ignore them. He didn’t care about the servants downstairs. He didn’t spare a thought for the dowager, or her companion, or the dratted Edwards, who might appear at any moment. Nothing in the household was as important as the woman in his arms, and what was happening between them.

  She took another backward step but couldn’t release her hold on him. He took another step forward. Again and again, until the bed nudged the back of her legs.

  He broke the kiss long enough to drag the covers back but swiftly returned to her.

  “Tell me to stop,” he ordered quietly. He cupped her face in his hands and looked solemnly down at her. “Tell me to stop, Petal.”

  She knew he was right. Her heart dipped beneath the heavy weight of disappointment, but that was quickly tempered with a defiance that she had never felt before.

  As a young child, she had always been a dutiful daughter and had followed each of her father’s rules to the letter. As an adult, she was now in a job which also required her to follow somebody else’s rules, regardless of what she wanted, and she was sick and tired of it.

  This was the first time someone – anyone – had ever treated her like a person; a woman; and she wanted to savour every single moment of it. Whatever the future held she knew her life would remain in service to someone somewhere. That was who she was. There was nothing she could do about it. It was the only thing she could do. She needed to keep a roof over her head and to do that she must work. Being a maid was her life now.

  But did that mean that she had to stop becoming a woman? Did that mean she had to sacrifice who she was, and what she wanted, for the sake of being able to eat, and possibly take home a wage to her father? What about what she wanted in life? What about what she felt, thought, needed? Throughout her life there were very few opportunities to converse with anyone other than downstairs servants and footmen, but she wasn’t interested in any of them. There was something about Aidan that had captured something deep within her, and there was nothing she could do to get that back.

  She has changed forever now, after just a few kisses. She knew, she didn’t know how yet, but she just knew, that allowing any other man such liberties would never be the same. They couldn’t possibly bring her the emotions Aidan made her feel. Nobody could.

  He groaned when she remained mute and merely looked at him.

  When he kissed her again, the logical side of him wanted her to be a little frightened and back away before things went too far. He was only a man, and his patience would only stretch so far. He had tested its limits enough already. To his surprise, Petal returned his embrace with equal ferocity. Her soft palms swept along the corded length of his arms, and over his shoulders until they came to rest at the back of his neck.

  Even when he tipped his head and deepened the kiss, she merely copied his movements, and in doing so sealed both of their futures.

  Hours later, Aidan listened to the steady thump of his heart and stared blankly at the canopy overhead while he contemplated what had just happened. Petal was nestled beneath one arm, her satiated body half buried beneath the weight of his. He just couldn’t summon the energy to move. This was the most replete he had ever felt in his entire life. If he was honest, he couldn’t quite believe what they had shared.

  He now knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she did indeed feel the same way as he did.

  He also knew that she was untried, and he had just completely ruined her.

  In a way, although he was still deeply worried about the outcome, he knew he had just solved many of his problems. First and foremost of which was the woman beside him. By sharing his bed the way she had, although she may not know it yet, she had just committed her life to his. Surrendering to him in such intimate terms had left his brand upon her in a way that no other man ever could. Now all he had to do was figure out a way to tell her.

  Pressing a kiss to her temple, he began to relax for the first time in a long time. Well, since the last time he had held her.

  “The kisses we shared the other week, when Edwards laced my meal, happened, didn’t they?” he whispered thoughtfully. He knew they did, he just wanted her to confirm it.

  Petal lay listening to the dull thump of his heart. The coarse hairs on his chest tickled her nose, but she daren't move. She couldn’t. She wanted to stretch this moment out for as long as she could. As soon as she got out of bed, the real world would intrude on her contentment, and steal her happiness and couldn’t bear for that to happen just yet.

  She would have been happy to spend the rest of her life like this, but knew that was impossible. That thought was like a bucket of cold water over her and brought forth such doubts and confusion that she suddenly began to feel awkward and uncomfortable. Still, she couldn’t lie to him.

  “You were thrashing about when I got here. I talked to you. You seemed to settle, but then kissed me. I realised you didn’t know what you were doing and made you stop. You then went back to sleep.”

  “Why didn’t you mention it?”

  She couldn’t bring herself to look up at him but had to be honest.

  “I just didn’t know how to tell you. The next morning it became clear that you didn’t remember. I thought it was best forgotten seeing as you didn’t seem to know what you were doing.”

  What now? What was she supposed to do now? Should she gather her clothes up and pretend nothing had happened again?

  “Are you alright?” He knew she was awake, he could feel her blinking as she stared at his chest.

  “Yes,” she whispered. “Are your legs alright?”

  In spite of the seriousness of the situation, Aidan smiled gently.

  “They are fine.” He rested his head on the top of hers for a moment and stared absently into the fire as he stroked the fine strands of her luxuriously soft hair.

  At some point over the last hour or so all the pins had fallen out leaving her hair to cascade in wild abandon across her shoulders and down her back. Her tresses were so long that he felt certain he could wrap them around his wrist. Curious, he did just that.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Seeing just how long your hair is,” he replied as he wove the golden strands around his wrist.

  “I should go,” she whispered reluctantly.

  Aidan yawned but didn’t feel in the least bit sleepy. Instead, when he lifted his hand up he accidentally tugged the covers lowered and revealed the delightful curve of a plump breast to his appreciative gaze. Eyeing the bared flesh hungrily, he leaned purposefully over her.

  “Are you alright?”

  “You just asked me that,” she replied somewhat shyly, finally looking deeply into his eyes. She hadn’t expected him to be so concerned for her, and she was touched by it.

  “I was a little rough,” he murmured apologetically.

  “Were you?” She had no idea. She had never done that before, but she wasn’t going to tell him that. She rather suspected he knew already.

  “It should be a lot slower,” he murmured suggestively as he trailed one long finger along the edge of the sheet that covered her barely concealed breast.

  “Should it?” Her heart hammered wildly. Although she was in a little discomfort, she felt a pool of heat turning molten deep within, ushered along by a wild flurry of renewed excitement. He had shown her things she had never considered her body able to do before, and she was curious to know if he could do the same again so soon.

  “Absolutely,” he assured her. “You see, the slower it can be, the better it will get.”

  She swallowed and tentatively began to stroke his chest. He
looked down at that delicate hand against his flesh and knew he was lost.

  “Let me show you,” he whispered, and proceeded to do just that.

  It was gone midnight. Both Petal and Aidan were still wrapped in each other’s arms beneath the covers in his huge bed sound asleep. Neither of them noticed the door open silently. A shadowed figure appeared in the doorway and watched her leave. After a moment’s hesitation, the door quietly closed again.

  The clock on the mantel chimed five o’clock when Petal awoke again. Blissfully warm, she sighed in contentment – until the cold wash of reality swept over her when she realised where she was, and what she had done.

  Aidan’s slow, steady breathing assured her he was still asleep. Careful not to wake him, she eased out of his arms.

  The cold air within the room immediately stole all trace of warmth from her skin and made her shiver. Quickly gathering up her clothes, she winced at the soreness of her protesting body. While she dressed, she tried to blank out everything she had allowed Aidan to do to her last night. It was hardly surprising that she was a little discomforted. Still, she didn’t regret it. Not really. Well, maybe just a bit. It was going to be impossible to forget what they had shared last night. They had done things to each other that usually only married couples shared.

  However, did that make her a wanton hussy or just someone determined to enjoy whatever gifts life threw her? Whichever, she took a moment to study him in the shadows of the early morning light before she left.

  Unwilling to part with him until she had touched him one last time, she tiptoed over to the bed and drew the covers up. Bending down, she pressed a gentle kiss to his temple then quietly left the room.

  Aidan waited until he heard the soft click of the door closing behind her then opened his eyes. He had planned to discuss the future with her but couldn’t be entirely sure what that entailed until he had given it a bit more thought. By nature, he was a planner; someone who rarely took risks and always tackled everything in life with a good battle plan. If he didn’t get the chance to mull problems over first, then he didn’t deal with them, it was as simple as that, and Petal was one massive problem.