The Soul Room

by Corinna Edwards-Colledge

  Fabrizio came over and sat on the bed beside me, patted my leg. I brushed off his hand instantly, recoiled against Dan. ‘Maddie, carrissima.’ Said Fabrizio paternally. ‘How very sorry I am that it has come to this.’ He sighed regretfully, gestured at the scruffy room. I wanted to sink my nails into his face; my hands trembled with the effort of keeping them in my lap. He gestured to the man with the screen, and he placed it around the chipped and stained toilet in the corner of the room. ‘I am sorry for the surroundings,’ he said in a throw-away tone, ‘but I am hoping very much you will not be here much longer.’

  I forced myself to look at him again, to try to glean his meaning, but as ever his unshakeable composure made him impossible to read.

  ‘I am thinking, in many ways, that I am admiring what you have done,’ he continued, ‘it shows coraggio and loyalty, qualities most desirable in the mother of my grandson. However, you have also been molto, molto stupido. You have forgotten your responsibility for your child. You take terrible risks. In this you show me that you are not fully competent,’ he paused as if searching for the right way to say something, the polite way, ‘to make decisions for this baby.’

  ‘The only reason myself and my baby are at risk,’ I said quietly, my breath clenched in my chest like a fist, ‘is because you are a rapist, a kidnapper, and a crook.’

  He looked at me coldly and stood up, started to pace around the room. ‘Oh dear Madeleine, you disappoint me. What kind of man would I be if I did not defend my family name – the birthright of my children and grandchildren?’

  ‘This vineyard was here before you and will be here after you. Nonna is right about souls, Fabrizio, and yours will poison you in the end!’

  He looked as if he was going to hit me. Dan sprang up, his eyes blazing. Instantaneously Fabrizio’s strong-arms came forward, he waved them back.

  ‘He wants to protect his sorella,’ he said smoothly, ‘but what he does not understand is that she is safe, the safest woman in the world in questo momento. She carries my grandson, I will give anything, my life to protect them. He would be helping no one, least of all himself. Sit down Mr Armstrong and listen to what I have to say.’ Dan was visibly struggling to control himself, but he sank down shakily into the arm-chair. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and shifted up so I could reach over and put my hand on his arm. I could feel the muscles, tight under his dark skin.

  ‘I have a proposition to make to you both.’

  I looked up at him reluctantly, my eyes burning with hatred. ‘This is crazy. Nonna will be awake now and wondering where I am. What are you going to tell her? You can’t keep us down here like this. People will start to ask questions!’

  ‘Nonna has already been here and I tell her what I will tell anyone else who asks questions – that you have gone to Rome with my wife to buy things for the baby. That you are likely to stay over a night or two and have a – what do you English call it? Yes! A girls night out.’

  ‘It won’t work!’ I blurted out. ‘Nonna...’

  ‘Yes?’ He smiled at me, dangerously, quizzically. It occurred to me that I could put Nonna into very great danger if I said too much. Nonna would know something was wrong, she would find a way to help. ‘She will try to ring me.’

  ‘Your phone will be out of signal.’

  ‘She’ll ring Rosa then.’

  ‘And Rosa will tell her just as I have, and add that you are taking a nap and will call back later.’

  There was a movement, a glorious vigorous twist of baby against the right-hand side of my tummy. It suffused me with relief in the midst of the horror, made me feel a shade less desperate. ‘You had better tell me what it is you have to say.’ I said flatly, a taste of bile coming into my mouth.

  ‘It is very simple. Dan, if you continue with my ospitalita for now, Maddie is free to come and join myself and Rosa and live with the famiglia. With us she will receive the best private medical care before and after the birth. While she is with us; and while she talk to no one about finding you, about your Mamma, or anything else you have told Maddie about me, I promise I will not hurt you.’

  I had been expecting something like this, but still it hit me deep in my gut. ‘And after the birth?’ Do you honestly think you can keep this from Nonna? That Rosa, a woman and a mother, would let you do this to me and the baby? When she knows you have threatened me? Kept my brother, your son, a prisoner all these months?’

  ‘Rosa is my wife, a good wife; she knows everything. You think too little of what losing a son does to a mother. Rosa would do anything for a second chance. It comes down to her loss or yours. I know which she will choose.’

  My flesh crept. ‘What do you mean my loss?’

  ‘After a few months,’ he said reasonably ‘once the baby has a…’ he looked at the ceiling, struggling to find the word, ‘…ah yes, a routine, Dan and yourself can return to England. If you hold your tongue you can come and visit your son twice a year. If you do not he will be removed from here, to a safe place where we can care for him without fear of your interferenza.’

  ‘Leave my child! With you! With a violent, foul...!’ I clutched at my belly wildly. I knew now that there was something wrong with Fabrizio, Sergio’s death had dislodged something in his mind, he wasn’t rational.

  Dan started to laugh, got up, still laughing and went right up to Fabrizio till his face was only a few inches from his own. ‘You’re crazy papa!’ He said, sarcastically, ‘You’re completely mad! This whole thing is going to blow up in your face. Surely you know that!? The house of cards will come tumbling down with you and your precious Amarena name with it. Maybe you can pull it off for a few weeks; but months? Years?? There’s no way you’ll get to keep Maddie’s baby and you know it.’

  ‘It is not so strange if you think about it,’ Fabrizio returned, calmly ignoring Dan, but backing away from him, sitting down in the old armchair. He put his finger-tips together, held them under his chin thoughtfully. ‘Let me tell you a story. A story about a woman I know. Let us call her Margaret. She was married to a man whose daughter died, very tragically, and even a little because of Margaret’s own selfish actions,’

  I stared at Fabrizio, hatred bubbled under my skin like lava but there was something else too, something worse. The old haunting debilitating feeling that I had almost learned to forget.

  ‘Yes Maddie, your father and I had a very good chat about you when he called to ask if I had any work for you. I have also had professional help, when I needed to fill in the gaps. Anyway, to return to my storia: Margaret’s Mama, she dies of cancer, it is very sad. A few years later her step-daughter dies in an accident walking home from school; then her husband, he commits suicide. He cannot live without his bambina, she was only ten years old, a terrible waste don’t you think? Tragedia follow tragedia for poor Margaret, she become very depressed, she is ill for a long time; she cannot work, she abandons her friends, she is on anti-depressants. Her brother – a homosexual well known for…I think they call it…’recreational drug use’ and, I am thinking also, much casual sex; later disappears; this he has done before, many times. But this time he also tell no-one what he do or where he go. He cause a police enquiry in two countries. This is very expensive, it wastes police time.’

  He surveyed us, almost regally, I was speechless, incapacitated with horror and fury. Dan was stood stock still, his eyes riveted to Fabrizio’s face.

  Fabrizio continued, his brow furrowed with concern. ‘Does this sound like a woman who will make a responsible mother? Does this sound like a family that will be good for the raising of a child? I say, let us compare them with the respected vineyard owner, a loving family man – he has roots that go back hundreds of years. He can offer the baby a great birthright as well as a stable and wealthy family...’

  ‘STOP!’ I finally screamed. Amarena nodded slowly, his face creased with concern.

  ‘I understand, this is a very hard thing for you. You need time to think about what I have said. I will return later, in a
few hours.’

  No,’ I sobbed. ‘I need more time, time to talk to Dan. Come this evening – later please.’

  He laid his hand on my shoulder. ‘Of course my dear. You shall have your time. I will return this evening.’ He motioned to Mario and the other man and together they left; softly, like attendants at a funeral. As soon as the door was closed and locked I launched myself clumsily off the bed and picked frantically at Dan’s arms.

  ‘It’ll be all right!’

  Dan let his head fall on to my shoulder. ‘What can we do Maddie?’ he breathed hotly into my neck. ‘He’s completely mad!’

  ‘We’ve bought some time Dan. If he doesn’t come back till this evening, it will probably be long enough for Dad to raise the alarm with John. And Nonna won’t believe that I’ve gone to Rome without telling her. She may even have already called my family, or the police.’

  ‘An octogenarian mystic, our Dad and one rogue detective against Fabrizio, against all this?’ He gestured wildly.

  ‘It could be enough, we’ve got to hope Dan! Please don’t give up, I don’t know if I can get through this if you give up!’

  ‘If only I’d thought of the consequences.’ Dan groaned. ‘That that phone call was going to bring you here,’ he gestured violently, ‘into this nightmare! I should have just called the police. But I panicked, I only had the phone for a moment, I knew the police here were in his pocket, I didn’t know if 999 would work in Italy, if there was an international emergency number. I just didn’t think.’

  I stroked his hair. ‘It’s OK, I would have called you in the same situation.’

  ‘Really?’ He glanced up and tried to smile, and for a moment he looked like a child.

  ‘Yes, of course.’

  ‘But this policeman, John, he believes I’ve been kidnapped?’

  ‘Yes, or more to the point he believes I do.’

  ‘And that’s enough?’ He said, looking at me keenly.

  I turned away. ‘It seems to be.’

  Dan got up and strained to look out of the window. A sliver of blue sky glowed tantalisingly against the greyness of the room. ‘So at worse, taking into account time for this John guy to get to the airport, book flights, get to Rome, talk to the regional police and drive to Terranima we’re looking at about 12 hours max?’

  ‘That sounds about right.’

  ‘So we’ve got to spin this out – this whole situation – for that long at least.’ He nodded thoughtfully, his jaw tightly clenched. He wasn’t giving up yet, thank god for that at least. Then a horrible thought struck me.

  ‘God Dan, what if he’s got some kind of device in here? Something to listen in with?!’

  Dan smiled wearily. ‘How do you think I’ve filled my time all the weeks I’ve been here? I’ve checked every square inch of this room. Every crevice, every cup and scrap of food, and piece of furniture. Besides, unlike his Mother-in-Law, he’s a Luddite, it’s another sign of his arrogance. Because he doesn’t like technology he presumes it’s of no use.’

  I shivered, ‘I hope you’re right.’

  The day was long and arduous. Dan and I used the time to catch up; getting up and changing places in the small room like actors in a play; trying to keep from getting stiff and to work off the waves of nervous energy.

  I told him everything that had happened to me since he had gone missing. Something still stopped me though, from telling him about my dream room, about talking to my little boy. It felt sacrilegious somehow, or reckless; as if I would be tempting fate.

  Punctuating the hours were a series of cramps, sporadically moving across my abdomen. I told myself that it was just Braxton Hicks practice contractions again (I wasn’t due for four weeks after all) but in my heart I was sick with worry. By the end of the day they were getting stronger. And I knew that by the time that Fabrizio returned to the room that evening, it was becoming hard to stop the waxing and waning of each cramp from registering on my face. A non-stop commentary to the baby played in my head, not yet sweetheart, just a little longer, just a tiny bit longer please...please!

  Fabrizio came back about six-thirty that evening; smiling beneficently and carrying a tray. There were two plates, filled with beef escalope, vegetables and sautéed potatoes. There was also a glass of beer and a plastic bottle of fruit juice.

  'I know I mustn't ‘jump the gun’ as you say, but I thought we could celebrate our new understanding so I have brought food and drink! Just a juice for you my dear,' he said with a wink in my direction, 'but there is plenty of goodness here for both you and the baby.'

  Was it possible I could hate him still more? At that moment the depths of my hatred seemed illimitable. However, I was pregnant and I was hungry and I knew that I needed to keep my strength up, so I reached for the plate that he held out to me. Fabrizio gestured for Dan to take the other plate. He shook his head, Fabrizio shrugged and put the plate down on the table.

  'You must know you can't make this work Fabrizio.' I said, trying to keep my voice level. 'It's crazy; you don't really expect my family and friends to believe that I have willingly left my baby here with you?'

  'I believe you will manage it, because mother's who don't want to lose contact with their children are capable of anything.'

  'This whole thing can end right here.’ I felt sick, I leaned forward, looked Fabrizio in the eye. ‘Ring the police and we’ll explain how much emotional pressure you’ve been under. That your grief has made you ill,’ softened my voice, ‘made you make some bad decisions. We’ll make sure they know that you’ve treated us well. They would be lenient. I could bring the baby over to see you often. Make sure he understands where he comes from - what he could come back to one day.'

  Fabrizio watched me abstractedly. It was only at that moment that I realised how truly dangerous a man he was; because behind the outwardly normal expression on his face, chaos was in his eyes.

  ‘Quite apart from the fact that you brother has some details of my financial affairs that could be misconstrued by the authorities,’ he said with a delicate sigh, ‘you must know that we have come much too far down the path to turn back now.’

  Dan shot up, and before Mario could respond he had Fabrizio against the wall, his hand around his throat. ‘Just let her go you bastard!’ Mario was behind Dan now, trying to pull him off but Dan was like a rock, his fury giving him superhuman strength. ‘I couldn’t give a fuck what you’ve been up to or how you make your money. Keep me if you have to, but let her go or I swear, I fucking swear I’ll kill you!’

  ‘Dan No!’ I got to him as quickly as I could. Ignoring Mario I pulled at Dan’s hands. ‘Don’t do this, or you’re no better than him! I won’t let you do that to yourself.’ Finally his fingers loosened their grip around Amarena’s throat. Dan let out a short sob. Mario took hold of him, pinning his arms behind his back, but not roughly, the Italian’s face was clearly distorted with conflict.

  ‘The birth of your first-born is the most incredibile thing that can happen.' Said Fabrizio hoarsely, visibly shaken. He lowered himself onto the bed. ‘Un momento you are a man only, the next you are a father. Un momento you are free, the next you are a prisoner. This questo bambino, looks up at you with its big black eyes, and you know that you would do anything; anything for it, you will work your fingers to the bone to give it the best of everything. Nothing can prepare you, Maddie. And my son, my buon figlio look at me, all of his life, with those black eyes; and I know that however hard I try, I keep disappointing him, and I don't even know how. I have worked,' he held up his hands, palm outwards, as if showing off the callouses that had long since disappeared, 'so hard for him. Worked so hard to make this vineyard something he could be truly proud of - something he could make grandioso - and still those black eyes, non sono felici.'

  Some understanding, some sadness seemed to pass across Fabrizio’s face, but it quickly faded. 'You wonder, how can I do this to you Maddie, when you know I feel this way. But it is my chance, my second chance to make happy those black eyes.
I will show Sergio, through his son, what he mean to me. Finally he will understand.'

  You couldn't make him happy because you didn't understand him! I wanted to scream. He was discontented because he knew that you had no idea who he was - what he wanted. The harder you tried, the further you pushed him away! But I stopped myself. I needed to play the game, I needed to keep him happy for a couple more hours at least.

  'Do you think he would thank you for all this, Fabrizio?' The words slipped out before I could stop them.

  'I think I know my son better than you!' He said sharply.

  I held his gaze. The air between our eyes twanged like a taut string. And then a deep, sharp cramp flushed up my tummy, sending the nerves of my lower back screaming. It took every ounce of my self-control to not let the pain register on my face. My appetite disappeared, I struggled to chew and swallow the bite of steak I had just taken, took a deep gulp of my drink to help push it down.

  Fabrizio got up off the bed and another of the guards appeared at the door. 'It is time to take your place with Rosa and me upstairs Maddie, to join our family properly and prepare for the Ospedale. Say goodbye to your brother; you will see him soon, so long as you show me you are sincero, and remember our deal.'

  ‘No!’ I reached out for Dan. Mario released him and he took hold of me, and as he did so, another contraction (for that was what I could no longer deny they were) gripped me like a vice around my abdomen. I sank against him.

  'It's started hasn't it.' he whispered into my ear. I nodded against his neck, felt the tears stinging my eyes. ‘I love you, I’m sorry Maddie, I’m so sorry.’