I laughed, and was about to send a text responding to him, but my phone buzzed with yet another incoming message.
Babe<3: Seriously, Nickayla, you look amazing. Have fun tonight. I love you.
At the sound of a horn honking, I looked out the window, surprised to see that we were riding in Michele's car for the night. I grabbed my purse and ran downstairs, locking the door behind me as I walked outside.
The car was idling in my driveway, and Brody was making an unattractive face as Michie fussed at him over his hair.
"You look like you just rolled out of bed, Brody!" Michele said, running her fingers through his hair and trying to push it back.
"That's kind of the point, Michele!" Brody retorted, shooting her a warning glance. "I swear if you spit in your hands and put them in my hair, you're walking to Ben's!"
I shook my head at their trivial argument, getting in the back seat and fastening my seatbelt.
"I'm not gonna put my spit in your hair," Michie said, rolling her eyes. "Maybe that's something Belinda Whore-reno did when you were fucking her, but it takes having no life and a LOT of tequila to get me to be THAT trashy!"
I covered my mouth to stifle my laughter, and Michele shot daggers at me--that was her way of telling me that this was no laughing matter. I kept silent, staring straight ahead as Brody pulled out of my driveway.
"Just because we had sex doesn't make Belinda a whore," Brody said, groaning.
"No, but her being a whore makes her a whore," Michie spat back. "And are you seriously defending her right now? You do not want to piss me off tonight."
"You're already pissed off Mich!"
Michele groaned, glaring at him unblinkingly.
"Well let's run down the list, shall we?First, you show up like you've never owned a brush in your life. Second, you threaten to make me walk to Ben's. THEN, to top it off, you are defending, Blow Job Belinda, who spends more time on her knees than anywhere else! I'm your girlfriend, Brody, not her. Maybe you should try...oh, I don't know, defending the person you're actually dating? Maybe then I wouldn't be pissed off!"
I had to actually bite my lip to keep from laughing aloud at the use of our nickname for Belinda. I could only hope that Brody would keep his mouth shut from that point on, otherwise he'd be in deep shit before we even made it to the party.
Michele turned to him, staring him down with a pure, unadulterated hatred in her heart.
"Let me ask you something, Brody," she said, her whisper lethal. "I know that her specialty is giving an excellent blow job...but does she swallow?"
I looked between them, certain that Brody was wishing he were anywhere but in that car at that moment. He gulped loudly, glancing over at her, and then turned his gaze back to the road.
"You know what, don't answer that," Michie said. "I want to enjoy this party and anything that comes out of your mouth besides 'okay' will warrant you a slap right now."
Brody looked forward, and then, with a deep sigh of discontent, he whispered, "Okay."
Michie huffed loudly, crossing her arms in front of her and replied, "Okay."
The rest of the car ride was pleasantly quiet. When we pulled up to Ben's house, I sent a text to Colin.
Me: Just got to Ben's. Call me when you're ready. Enjoy work, babe. I love you.
I put my cell phone in my purse and absentmindedly reached out for Brody. I eyed Michele, looking for her approval, but she just shrugged nonchalantly and walked inside the house alone.
Brody's arm wrapped around my shoulders and he kissed me on the forehead.
"Hey, Nic, look at me," he said.
I turned to face him and he placed both hands on my shoulders, looking into my eyes. He pulled me in close for a hug before whispering into my ear, "I don't know what you're afraid of, but I'll always have your back. If you need me, you know where to find me."
I choked back tears, letting out a light laugh as I pulled away from his embrace.
"Yeah, you'll be up in Ben's room, groveling on your knees for Michele's forgiveness," I teased. I looked up at his hair, shaking my head. "You know, your hair really is a mess, Brody."
He chuckled, taking my hand again as we walked into Ben's house.
Inside, music was blaring from Ben's speakers, and people were all over the place, drinking, dancing, and talking loudly. Ben's girlfriend Taylor met me at the door, guiding me away from Brody and enveloping me in a hug.
"Nickayla! I haven't seen you in forever!" she exclaimed, pulling away from me. "Where have you been? How have you been?"
"I've been good!" I replied, equally as excited as she was. "Just been spending time with Michele and Brody and my boyfriend."
Taylor beamed, her smile wider than I'd ever seen it.
"That's right, you're dating the Westwick boy!" she said. "Gosh, Nic, he's a cutie! Where is he tonight?"
"Working," I responded. "Maybe you'll meet him at the next party."
I sighed, walking with her to the kitchen where a few of her friends were, talking about their boyfriends. She offered me two Solo cups, one filled with soda, and one filled with liquor.
"I'll take the soda," I said. "I'm not drinking tonight."
I waved "hi" to Taylor's older sister, Emily, and their friends, Vanessa and Janine. I leaned against the counter in the kitchen, smiling as I listened to the girls' conversation.
"So Kevin and I broke up like a year ago, and he's been trying for the past month and a half to get back together! How the hell do I tell him that I wouldn't get back with him if we were the last two people on Earth and the only people who could keep humanity alive?" Janine asked, rolling her eyes.
I burst out laughing, nearly spilling my soda on the kitchen floor.
"Gee, Janine, I'm sure that'll cover it," I said. "Just tell him that and I guarantee he won't come back."
She sighed with a small smile.
"I wish that was true," she replied. "I could announce that I didn't want to be with him over the loudspeaker at school, walk around with a sign on my forehead, and fucking have it written in the sky and Kevin still wouldn't take the hint!"
Suddenly, Emily's eyes widened.
"Don't look now, Janine, but Kevin's heading this way," she whispered.
I had never seen someone run so fast in my life.
I located Michele a couple hours later, after Taylor went to join Ben in the Jacuzzi.
Michie was sulking on the couch in the living room, her arms crossed and her lower lip jutting out slightly. I sat down next to her, placing my hand on her knee.
"I'm sorry I dragged you to this party just so that I could be fighting with Brody," she said. "I know how hard it is for you to be here, and it's not fair to you at all."
I shook my head, squeezing her knee.
"Just go find Brody and fix things," I told her. "If you don't, it'll be a Hell of an awkward ride home."
She sighed, looking at me through hopeful eyes.
I could see the wheels turning in her head. I'd known her practically my whole life, and I knew that she was weighing her options: either she stayed with me and helped me through my issues with being at this house, or she found Brody and made things right between the two of them.
"Kales, are you sure?" she asked.
I nodded.
"Yes. Just go," I assured her. "I'll be fine."
She took off upstairs in search of Brody, and I left the living room so that I could get something else to drink. I was going to head outside and hang out with Taylor, just so that I wouldn't have to be alone.
I had barely made it to the empty hallway right before I got to the outside patio when I felt a hand grab my arm.
"I've been watching you all night, Nickayla," Kyle said, jerking me around to look at him. Through tear-filled eyes, I found his, and I shook my head, hoping to God that he wasn't attempting to repeat history. "How are you?"
I tried to jerk my arm away from him, but he only held on tighter. I felt his fingers dig into my flesh, and I felt uncomfortab
le all over again. It was just like that night, almost a year ago. I tried to wrench myself free of his grasp, but the response I got was his nails digging five crescents into my arm.
"Let go of me, Kyle!" I said, trying to keep my composure.
He squeezed my arm as he pulled me closer to him, his face mere inches from mine.
I groaned, trying to break free so that I could leave.
"Ever since Westwick came to this town, I haven't had the chance to get you alone," Kyle said. "I've been meaning to talk to you." He squeezed my arm again, shaking me violently. "Can you just give me the chance to talk to you?"
I nodded, too scared of what he would do if I didn't agree with what he wanted.
"Okay, good," he replied. He pushed me against the wall, pinning me against it with the muscles in his arms alone. "I honestly don't know what your problem is. Last year, we had the most amazing night...you gave yourself to me, and then all of a sudden, you don't want anything to do with me anymore." He sighed. "I thought guys were the only ones who did the 'hit-it-and-quit-it' thing."
I tried to wrench away from him, and that only made him hold on tighter.
I wasn't going to let him do this to me, not again. He'd been antagonizing me all Goddamn year and I couldn't take it anymore.
"First of all, you're stupider than you look if you think I gave myself to you," I said. "And secondly, you sound like a little bitch right now Kyle. Now let go of me."
He stepped forward, squeezing my arm, then grabbing my wrist and holding it to my chest as he dragged me forward. I could smell the vodka on his breath.
"Kiss me, Nickayla," he said, angrily. The black irises that stared back at me sent shivers down my spine.
"You are out of your fucking mind," I spat.
Kyle grabbed me by my shoulders, slamming me up against the wall. I closed my eyes, my entire body stinging from the impact. Before I had the chance to recuperate, he was up against me, his sculpted, bulging body pinning me to the wall so tightly I could barely breathe. I felt my chest crushed between the wall and his giant build, and I thrashed as wildly as I could to escape his grasp.
"Get...off...me," I choked.
I was nearly lifeless beneath him. He had me pinned so that I was almost straddling his leg, and my legs dangled in the air. God, he was strong. I wriggled my legs, trying to find the floor, then it hit me.
In a swift motion, I kneed him in the crotch, causing him to cry out in pain as he backed away from me. I clutched my chest, gasping for air, and when he looked up at me, I used all the strength I had inside me to punch him in the face.
"Asshole!" I screeched, stumbling as I ran away from him and toward the stairs.
I shook my hand out, cradling it to my chest as I raced up the stairs, knocking on every single door until someone came out. I stood in the hallway, walking back and forth frantically.
Michele was the first to emerge from a bedroom, her shirt askew and her jeans unbuttoned.
"What the Hell is going on?" she asked, eyeing me. "Nic, what's wrong?"
I shook my head, nearly unable to speak.
"I need your keys," I said.
She handed them to me without a word, walking toward me. "Nickayla, are you okay? Where are you going?"
I shook my head again, descending the stairs in a quick run. I could hear her running after me, but I refused to look back. I raced out of the door, clicking the button on Michie's key chain to unlock the door.
I stood outside Ben's house for a minute, trying to regain my composure. I had planned to stay a few extra minutes while I figured out where to go, but when I heard Kyle's voice again, yelling my name, I ran to the car and hopped inside.
It was a split second decision, forgetting momentarily that I had a cell phone and that I could call one of my brothers or even my sister if need be. Instead, though, I kept going. I hit a corner and sped in the direction of Colin's house, driving as fast as the car would take me. I cringed at the pain shooting up my hand. I just wanted to get to Colin's and have him hold me while I iced my hand.
I yelled and cursed in anger, pressing the gas and speeding faster, wanting desperately to get as far away from Ben's stupid house, from his stupid party, from his stupid, alcoholic friends as possible.
Images flooded my mind once more; I fought to push them away, but to no avail.
Come on, Nic. Come on, Nic. You love me don't you? If you love me, this should be exactly what you want. This isn't what I want Kyle. I don't think I'm ready. Nickayla look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Come on, Nic. You love me don't you? I love you. I love you. I love you. Oh, Nic. Nic, this feels amazing. God, you feel so good. Shh, Nic, don't scream. It doesn't hurt. You want this, remember? It doesn't hurt. Just listen to me. Ohh, Nic. Nic, stop crying. Please. I'm almost there. Nic, you're amazing. Oh, god. Ohh, my God. Holy fuck. How did that feel? Nic, talk to me. Nic? Are you with me? Nic, come on, talk to me. Let me hold you. Nickayla, don't pull away from me. Let me hold you. It's going to be okay. Kiss me, Nickayla. You gave yourself to me. You gave yourself to me. You're stupider than you look if you think I gave myself to you. Let go of me. Let go of me. Kiss me Nickayla. Kiss me, Nickayla.
I fought back the tears as I finally approached Colin's house. I hopped out of the car after turning it off, leaving the keys in the ignition and racing up the stairs of his apartment complex and pounding on the door to his apartment. I didn't see his car parked in the driveway, but I hoped that Suze was home to let me in. I pounded on the door once more, jumping up to try and find any trace of lights that might have been on.
"Suze!" I yelled. "It's Nickayla! Suze, let me in!"
I was frantic, jumping up and down, trying to be noticed. After ten minutes of knocking, I gave up. I collapsed onto the steps, sobbing hysterically into my hands. A wretched sound came from my throat as I bawled, no-holds-barred. My chest constricted as my body was wracked with more cries of despair. The pain was too unbearable. I tried to will the tears away, only to find that that made me sob even harder.
I saw a beam of light shine through my hands, and I looked up to see Colin pulling into the driveway.
I ran down the stairs to meet him, to upset, exhausted, and in too much pain to wait for him to ascend the stairs and find me. I rushed out of the doors of his complex just as he was turning the car off.
I stood in the doorway, watching him as he grabbed all his things.
"Nickayla?" he asked when he finally saw me, jumping out of the car and slamming the door. "I told you I would pick you up." Confusion turned to concern as he got closer to me. "Is everything okay?"
He clearly couldn't see the tears on my face from where he was, but I raced over to him and buried my face in his shirt. No questions asked, as was typical Colin fashion, his arms wrapped protectively around me. One hand cradled my head as he massaged my scalp, his chin resting atop my head while he whispered soothing words into my ear. The other hand delicately cradled my waist, trying to hold my body up as I shook violently with emotion.
After mere seconds, he gave up, his knees going slack as we both slowly went to the floor. He held me even tighter, embracing me in a way that only he knew how. I leaned against him as though he was my safety rail, keeping me from falling off the deep end--only thing was, it was a little too late for that.
He rocked me back and forth, whispering in my ear.
"Nickayla, sweetie, I'm right here," he said. "Let it out; it's okay. It's all going to be okay."
I clutched his shirt, which was soaked with my tears and covered in eyeliner. My whole body went limp, but he held me anyway.
He placed his hands beneath my knees and behind my back, cradling me and lifting me as we ascended the stairs. With one hand, he unlocked the door to his apartment. He used his foot to kick the door to his bedroom open. I continued to sob against him, holding on to him with my uninjured hand. He drew back the blankets on his bed, sitting down himself and adjusting the both of us so that we were lying down. I rested my head against his chest,
sobbing uncontrollably as he cradled my body against him.
"I love you, Nickayla," Colin crooned. "It's going to be okay. I'm right here. I love you. I love you so much, sweetie. No one's going to hurt you now, I promise."
I wasn't sure when I knocked myself out, but I knew the last words I heard before I did were the only words I needed to hear.
Thirty.
I awoke, struggling to open my stinging eyes. I couldn't quite figure out my surroundings at first, except for the fact that my head was resting on Colin's stomach as he slept peacefully.
I wrapped an arm freely around him, admiring the serene expression he wore while he slept. I watched his chest rise and fall slowly, his nostrils flaring as he inhaled and exhaled. He only wore a wife beater and boxers, a blanket draped delicately over my middle and his lower half. I moved myself closer to him, and I felt his arm--which I hadn't known was even behind me--tighten around me.
He stretched slowly, then opened his brilliant green eyes, sitting up momentarily and looking at me.
"Good morning sleeping beauty," he said, grinning.
God, his morning voice is sexy, I thought.
"Funny," I said, sitting up next to him, "I was about to say the same thing to you."
He gazed at me intensely, his eyes boring into mine, asking the question that I knew he was afraid to ask. How are you feeling?
Wordlessly, I snuggled closer to him. I wanted to feel the heat radiate off his body as he held me. I needed to feel his essence all over my body. I rested my head in the gap between his shoulder blades, and gazed lovingly at him.
"Thank you," I said.
He cocked his head to the side, examining me closely.
"For what?" he asked.
I smiled up at him, wanting desperately to kiss him, but there were things that I needed to say to him first.
"For saying everything I needed to hear when I needed to hear it," I said. I sat up, pulling away from him slowly. He stared at me as I drew in a deep breath.
I leaned over, kissing him on the lips. After everything that had transpired the night before, I really just needed to kiss my boyfriend. His tongue delved into my mouth quickly, softly, engaging in a dance with mine as I leaned my head back in order for him to deepen the kiss. I placed my aching hand on one side of his face, and the other I placed behind his head, twining my fingers in his hair. I pulled him closer, nibbling his lip lightly as I did so. He groaned into my mouth and fuck if that wasn't the sexiest thing ever.
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