Taking Chances

by Deanna Frances

“Oh, don’t get snappy with me, Sydney.” Maddie warned.

  “Are you planning on getting rid of Michael any time soon?” I crossed my arms.

  Maddie sighed. “You know I’m trying. I just can’t seem to get away from him.”

  I shook my head. “You’re unbelievable. If I had a husband who was abusing my children, I’d be gone by now.”

  A small tear slid from Maddie’s eyes. “He’s not that bad.”

  “Are you serious? Are we talking about the same man?” My eyes widened. “Did you forget that he once hurt you too? Do I need to show you the marks I have from him, Maddie?”

  “Don’t you dare, Sydney! I am your mother and you will speak to me with respect.”

  “Well, how about this?” My hand went to the front of Spencer’s sweatshirt, and I pulled it off angrily, pointing to the red marks on my arms.

  “Those are birthmarks,” Maddie said in her defense. My eyes widened.

  “What about this, Mom? Do you know what that is?” I lifted my T-shirt and showed her the burn scars from Michael’s cigarette. Angry tears came to my eyes, and Maddie’s bottom lip began to tremble. She quickly walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of vodka from the fridge. She drank it slowly. I didn’t want to watch. She was drinking herself into believing that this wasn’t happening, and I couldn’t take it anymore.

  “I’ll leave you alone to get drunk, I guess… So much for a good conversation.” I stormed up to my room.

  I fell down on my bed, burying my face in my pillow, and letting myself cry. It was a bad trait, to cry when you’re angry, but it had always been that way for me.

  I cried for a while, and then as I wiped away my last tear, I sat up and looked down at the beautiful ring on my right hand. I let a soft smile form on my lips. That is where the ring would stay. It was a symbol of our love, and of my commitment to Spencer.

  Chapter 10

  LAKEVIEW BOOKS, MOVIES AND MATT JOHNSON

  The next day at school, Jacquie and Annie asked about my ring, so did a lot of other girls I didn’t even know. I told them about how Spencer had given it to me for our one-month anniversary. Jacquie told me that Jeremy gave her a ring for their one year, and that I was pretty lucky to have a boyfriend as amazing as Spencer. I was lucky.

  I had only been at Indian Creek for about a month or two, and I already had the most amazing boyfriend, and the best friends a girl could ever ask for. My parents were gone most of the time, either out gambling, at bars, or clubs, so I wasn’t getting hurt as much. Lillian and Rebecca were either at Aunt Megan’s or with friends, so I didn’t have to worry about them getting hurt either. My life was starting to turn for the better.

  When I got to school the next day, Spencer was at my locker waiting for me.

  “Hi,” he said as I walked up to him.

  “Hola,” I replied, kissing him. He chuckled.

  “I didn’t know you spoke Spanish,” he said.

  “Only sometimes, I don’t know much of it. I took the class, but I didn’t pay attention much.” I giggled, opened my locker and said, “Como estas?”

  “Hey, I thought you didn’t know much,” he accused, coming over to the other side of my locker to face me.

  “It means ‘how are you?’” I laughed. “It’s pretty basic.”

  “I’m fine, thank you.” He smiled. “How about you?”

  “I’m fine, just a little tired. I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

  “Me either,” he said. “My house is so quiet. Uncle Justin left me a alone for the rest of the week. He had to go to this conference.It’s a little too quiet.”

  “I’ve never been inside your house.” I realized suddenly. I’d dropped him off at his house before, but had never been inside.

  “What are you doing tonight?” he asked, slowly coming closer toward me.

  “I have work,” I said sadly.

  “Oh.” His face fell. “You don’t work tomorrow, do you?”

  “Nope. I’m all yours.” I smiled.

  “All right. Tomorrow night, you can come to my house.”

  “Sounds good to me.” It did sound good to me. No Michael getting mad at me, no Lillian and Rebecca to look after, just him and me alone again.

  “You know, it seems that by how strong our relationship is that we’ve been dating for years more than just a month or two,” I said as Spencer walked me to Biology.

  “I know. I realized that, too. But, I’m sure we’ll be together for a while. Seeing as I can’t seem to get away from you.” Spencer laughed.

  “That’s a good thing.” I giggled.

  “I love you.” He looked down at me and smiled.

  “I love you, more.” I laughed.

  The classes that day were okay. In Creative Writing, I started a new poem.

  Take a Chance by Sydney Baker

  Have you ever felt like you’ve done all you can do?

  And you are trapped inside with no way out.

  When this happens, you just give up, but you are wrong.

  There’s a way through, you just have to take a chance.

  Show your face and show the world what you are made of.

  Stand up and shout because happiness is just a step away.

  So take a chance.

  That’s all I could think of to write. I wasn’t sure where that poem would lead me, but I hoped that I would finish it and find out.

  That night at work, Matt invited me to go see a movie with him the next day, but I told him truthfully that I already had plans.

  Wednesday at school I was wondering what would happen that night. I would be at Spencer’s house for the first time.

  After school, I drove to my house, and picked up an extra set of clothes in case I spent the night with Spencer. When I got to his house, Spencer was sitting on the porch waiting for me. The big house was a creamy white with a white wraparound porch that went around the whole building. There were many windows on the outside of the first floor, and dark green shutters framed them. There was also a balcony on the second floor with a big, glass door that led into the house.

  I got out of my car and headed toward Spencer.

  “Are you ready?” he asked.

  “Si,” I answered.

  He laughed. “There you go with the Spanish again...”

  I smiled, and he took my hand as we walked into the house. He opened the door, and I was astounded. The inside of the house was white, like mine, and there was a staircase with white carpet that led upstairs. Off to the right was a dining room with a big, wooden table, and beautiful chandelier hanging from the ceiling.

  “What do you think?” Spencer asked.

  “It’s so pretty,” I whispered.

  “I’m glad you like the entry way.” He chuckled. “Do you want to see the rest of the house?”

  I nodded. He led me over to the dining room, and showed me that the room led into a small office with a wooden desk and a computer. The office led into a huge, light green kitchen with gleaming white appliances. There was an island in the center of the kitchen. On top a book lay open. I went over and took a closer look. It read, Stevenson Family Recipes.

  “That was my dad’s cookbook,” Spencer said from behind me. “I use it every once in a while.”

  “You cook?” I asked.

  “Well, I used to cook with my dad all the time,” he said softly.

  Next, we walked into a large living room.

  “My parents had just repainted this when they passed away,” Spencer said. I looked up at him. He smiled slightly. The living room was painted a dark red and there was a big stone fireplace on the opposite wall from where we were standing. Above the fireplace was a big chandelier. There was another staircase with white carpet next to the fireplace that led upstairs. Above the fireplace was a family portrait that looked like it was taken recently. Spencer, his dad and his brother were dressed in jeans, white button-up shirts, and cowboy boots, and Spencer’s mom was in a blue dress. A beautiful, happy family.

&nb
sp; “That was taken two weeks before the accident,” Spencer said.

  “I’m sorry.” I replied, knowing that this was probably hard for him.

  “I wanted to take it down for a while, but I couldn’t do it,” he replied. “Come on, let’s go.”

  Spencer led me up the white staircase, to the second floor hallway. Several doors lined the length. We walked up to the first door on the left, and he opened it for me.

  The room was large and painted a dark blue. It had a wooden dresser, a bed covered with blue blankets, and a desk covered with papers. A small chandelier hung from the ceiling.

  “This was one of the guest rooms, but Uncle Justin uses it now.” Spencer explained. He took me to the next door. That room was much different. It was cherry red, with white polka dots, and instead of a chandelier, there was a white fan with lights. That room had a white-posted bed with red sheets, a white desk, and a dresser.

  “This is the second guest room.”

  Spencer showed me two, white, tile bathrooms before showing me a room that made both him and me cry.

  “This was my parent’s room,” he whispered.

  The room was probably the biggest bedroom I’d ever seen. It was enormous with light gold painted walls. A tall mirror trimmed in white stood next to a matching dresser. Next to the dresser was a king-sized bed with gold and white pillows and blankets. There was also a big white door that led into a walk-in closet.

  I could hear Spencer sigh, and I could tell that he was starting to cry. I felt tears welling up in my eyes, too. I wrapped my arms around him. He whispered, “They would have loved you, you know.”

  I thought about how much it was hurting him. He loved his parents and his older brother. They had died before I even met him. I wish that I could have been there to help him get through it.

  After a few minutes of silent remembrance for Mr. and Mrs. Stevenson, we headed on to Spencer’s brother’s room.

  It was light green with a bunch of Save The Planet posters. He had pictures of animals from different countries that he must have sponsored. The wooden bed was covered with green sheets, and there was a walk-in closet. We didn’t stay in there for too long; we headed on to the second to last room.

  “This is the music room,” Spencer told me.

  The room was light blue with black music notes painted on the wall. The room was very big, big enough to hold the most beautiful baby grand piano I’d ever seen. There was the piano, some music stands, some guitars on stands and a table in the room. I had a feeling that I would like that room. It seemed peaceful, a place to think and relax. On the opposite wall, a glass door led out to the second story balcony. The whole house was like a fairytale.

  “I like to come here when I write my songs and poetry,” Spencer told me.

  “Do you play?” I asked, looking at the guitars and the piano.

  “Yeah. My mom taught me when I was little. Here, I’ll play for you.” He took my hand again and let me sit on the piano bench with him while he played the most amazing song I had ever heard. He sang along to the piano, too. The song was about love, and how you can’t let it tear you apart, you can only let it boost you up. I think I started crying a little.

  “I wrote that song a couple of years ago,” he told me.

  “Wait, you wrote that?” I asked, astounded.

  “Yes.”

  “That’s amazing.” I sniffled. He saw that I was crying, and held me close to him.

  “You’ve boosted me up. I was always grieving about my family, and then you came into my life, and I’ve been happy since,” he whispered in my ear.

  “We have one more room left. Do you want to see it?” he asked.

  “Okay.”

  He led me out of the music room, and into the last door.

  “This is my room,” he said. My eyes widened at the beauty of the room in front of me.

  His room had red walls and the furniture, like his parents’ room, was all white, a stark contrast to the deep red walls. And like the other bedrooms, his also had a walk-in closet.

  “Do you like it?” he asked.

  All I could do was nod. Spencer chuckled.

  “Here.” He led me over to his bed. We sat down, and he said, “Thank you so much, Sydney.”

  “For what?” I wondered.

  “For being the best girlfriend I could ever ask for. I’ve dated girls before who were stupid, and wouldn’t even commit to me. They would go off and cheat on me with different guys. I couldn’t stand them, and now you’re here, and I feel so alive. You’re so nice, and kind, and beautiful. I’m in love with you, and I’ve never felt this way about anyone else before. You’ve brightened my life, and I thank you for that. I love you, Sydney.” He bent his head down and kissed me.

  I kissed him back with hope. Hope that we would be together years from then, and we would look back on that day, and see how perfect we were for each other. He said that he had never felt that way about anyone else before. I hadn’t either. I hadn’t even considered a boyfriend in Chicago, and when I came to Shabbona and saw Spencer for the first time, I had this new feeling inside of me, the feeling that he was the one. Jacquie told me that Spencer was completely in love with me, and I felt the same way. I didn’t ever want to leave him, and I didn’t have to. I wanted to stay in Spencer’s house with him and never let him go. It felt like home there, it felt like it was my home, just like Spencer was mine, and no one could ever take him away from me. He was my love, my Spencer.

  Spencer worried that my parents might get mad if I was there too late, so I went home unwillingly. Michael screamed at me as soon as I walked in the door about leaving the house without his permission. It seemed as if I was living two different lives: the girl who helped Spencer overcome his troubled past with his family, just like I had always wanted to do, and then the girl who couldn’t even help or protect herself….

  Chapter 11

  CHANCES

  I realized that time had gone by faster than I thought as I woke up shivering on a cold morning in January. My life hadn’t changed much. I still worked at Lakeview with Matt, though Spencer gave him looks every time Matt and I were together.

  The Creative Writing class had done a coffee shop open mic up in DeKalb at The House Cafe, and we would be doing the Poetry Slam the following week. I was completely excited for that. I didn’t care if I won or not, I just wanted a chance to read some of my poems for Spencer and others to hear.

  I had spent Christmas Eve night over at Aunt Megan’s house in downtown Shabbona with Lillian and Rebecca, and Christmas day over at Spencer’s with him and his Uncle Justin. We exchanged gifts; he had gotten me so much more than I deserved.

  Maddie and Michael were still together, and I couldn’t stand it. I’d seen Maddie sitting in the living room, crying as Michael yelled at her for not taking charge of her children. I wanted to help her, but there was nothing else I could do to get Michael away.

  The day of the Poetry Slam came around, and I was more nervous than happy. The whole school gathered in the gym and listened to the Creative Writing classes perform. It was suddenly my turn to perform “Love”, one of the poems I had written for Spencer.

  I performed the poem, and everyone started applauding. I would have performed “Take a Chance”, a poem that I had started writing in September, but I still wasn’t done with it. After the Poetry Slam, people told me that they loved my poem because even though it was deep, it was short, sweet, and to the point. The students loved Spencer’s poems as well.

  That night, after work with Matt, I spent the night at Spencer’s. His Uncle Justin said he didn't mind. It was a Friday, so I didn’t have to be at work until ten the next morning. I wanted to spend the night in Spencer’s arms. We became closer each day, and yet I still became weaker and weaker from Michael’s abuse. Even though it wasn’t very often, it was more hurtful than usual.

  Matt’s actions around me began to change. He treated me more like a very close friend, than someone who I just started hang
ing out with again. For some reason, it was like he forgot that I had Spencer in my life, or he was just ignoring that fact. Though Spencer had somehow seen this behavior coming on, I had never thought of Matt as a boyfriend. He was a good friend, sure, but nothing more.

  On Saturday morning, I really didn’t want to go to work. I would have rather been spending the time with Spencer or one of my friends, but I was only working from ten to one, so I figured I wouldn’t have to deal with Matt for long.

  “So, what are you doing tonight?” Matt asked as we were stocking new books around twelve-thirty.

  “Probably hanging out with Spencer,” I replied, happily.

  “Oh. Cool. Well, maybe we could hang out again sometime.” Matt stepped closer to me, trapping me up against the bookshelves as he put his hands on either side of me.

  “We just hung out last week, remember? That party where you finally introduced me to all of your other friends?” I reminded him.

  He smiled, “Yeah, but I meant maybe something more.”

  “Um…Matt, you’re a great friend, really, but I have a boyfriend. I—”

  “You know I’d be better for you than Stevenson.” He came even closer to me.

  “Actually, Spencer and I are great together. What’s wrong with just being friends, Matt?” I asked.

  “I think we could be more. Sure, we’re great friends. We always have been, but I’ve always felt something more than that. Remember when we were little and we used to tell my mom we were married, and she thought it was so cute that we were that…close.” His dark eyes sparkled with excitement.

  “Matt, I think we’re better off as friends.” I was about to tell him to get off of me when I heard Spencer’s voice behind me.

  “Sydney?” I turned to see him standing there, leaning up against the bookshelves.

  “Spence, hey, what are you doing here?” I asked excitedly as Matt backed away with a nervous look on his face.

  “I just wanted to see if you wanted to go out to lunch after you were done working, but I guess I caught you and your boss at the wrong time. I’m wondering now what he was doing trapping you up against the shelves.” He didn’t look at me; he stared an evil glare towards Matt who backed away slowly.