For the First Time

by Stephanie Doyle

  Her hand clutched his upper arm for support as she tried to angle her body in a way that brought his thigh into even better contact with where she wanted it. But then he was shifting back, moving that wonderful, delightful thigh away from her.

  “No!”

  “It’s okay. Listen, sweet, I’m going to make you come first. Okay.”

  “Yeah.” She agreed like it was something that happened every day. Like he was offering to clean the dishes or put away laundry.

  I’m going to make you come first.

  Sounded like a plan.

  This time he arranged her so she was more fully on her back. He kneeled between her spread legs and she missed the warmth she’d felt when they were closer. But now she could look up at him and take in his broad chest and tight middle. She could see the thrust of his erection standing between his legs, but it didn’t scare her as much as she thought it would. In an odd way it seemed familiar. Like this was how it was all supposed to be. Like her body was completely okay with everything that was happening even though this was the first time it was happening.

  This time when she reached out her hand, he let her touch him.

  Hello, Penis.

  She heard the small gasp, followed by a low moan, as she tightened her grip. Wow, he felt good. Really hard and really hot and sort of thick. And smooth. Or maybe fluid. She couldn’t really summon the right word, but instinctively her hand wanted to circle his length and stroke him.

  She watched HBO. She’d seen naked men before, but she’d never touched this part of a man and once again reality was far better than her imagination. After a second he moved her hand away.

  “You first.”

  She wasn’t exactly sure what that meant until his hand drifted down her center over the small roundness of her belly and between her legs. She could feel and hear the slickness of her body as his fingers toyed with her first before he plunged one deep inside her.

  “Oh!”

  “Good?”

  “Yes,” she confirmed. She knew what an orgasm was, too. There had been a few times when, as much as she tried not to touch herself, tried to deny herself that fundamental pleasure, that she couldn’t stop her body from convulsing on its own. Sometimes it happened in a dream and she could indulge it because she couldn’t be accused of betraying Julia then.

  But Julia wasn’t here now. She wasn’t in this bed. There was no guilt as she pressed herself into his hand, as his finger slid deep. None when he added another finger, then used his other hand to tweak her nipples. Pinching them until they stood up in sharp attention.

  Finally his thumb slid between her folds and pressed against her clitoris. It was all her overstimulated, sex-starved body needed. She threw herself into the tremors of her climax, twisting and stretching, pulling every delicious sensation out of it. Eventually the feelings subsided and she relaxed against the bed, her arms to the side, her legs spread wide with Mark still kneeling between them.

  Beautiful, magical Mark. Her brain registered a nonorganic sound and she rustled up enough effort to open her eyes. His fingers were sliding a condom down over his firm erection and suddenly it occurred to her that this wasn’t over.

  “I’m going to take you this way first, okay. It will be easier.”

  She didn’t have enough sense left to either agree or disagree. She simply acquiesced as he shoved one, then another, then another pillow under her ass. Forcing her into an almost bowed position as he took his cock in his hand and began to press it into her body.

  Her first thought was pressure, her second thought was a burning painful sensation like he was ripping into something even though she knew she didn’t have a hymen. And it continued as he pressed farther into her, not once stopping despite her whimpering.

  The word no surfaced quickly, immediately followed by the word stop, but she clamped them down. She knew it wasn’t going to feel good, not the first time. This was the bravery part. Accepting the pain, accepting that he was the one giving it to her, and then hoping he would also be the one to deliver her from it.

  Their breathing was harsh now and it filled the room with the noise of a loud engine. He pushed again and she felt him so deep inside her. She used her hands to push against his hips, trying to back him off and lessen the extreme fullness.

  “Just get used to it a little,” he said gruffly, his hands now tightly wrapped around her hips as he held himself still inside her body.

  “Used to it? Little?”

  He leaned down and nipped her breast. “You’re doing fine. This is sex, baby. The pleasure and the pain of it. You’re getting good and laid.”

  He had the audacity to chuckle and she wanted to hit him for it, but then he was easing out of her body. Like a wave slowly receding, the relief of it was enough to make her moan. Only without warning he started to push back inside. This time she really was going to stop him, but before she could register the heft of him, he was slipping away again.

  And that was how it went for what felt like an endless amount of time. Him pushing into her too high and too hard, then him sliding away. Again and again.

  “Better?”

  “It’s okay.” And it was. The burning sensation was gone and she liked the feel of him sliding away so much that she was willing to tolerate the heavy fullness when he was deep inside. “I don’t think I could…uh… I don’t feel what I felt before.”

  Then he leaned down over her, his hands on either side of her head, caging her, but not letting her take his full weight.

  “That’s because you have to learn what you like, what your body wants. We’re going to roll now, baby.”

  He did it as soon as he said it. He shifted their position without leaving her body, so that he was on his back and she was lying on top of him. She settled her knees on either side of his hips and experimented by putting her hands on his chest and using her own weight to spear herself on his cock.

  When the pressure got to be too much she could ease up on her own. She liked that. She really liked that.

  “But what about you? Is this frustrating? Don’t you want to…”

  He laughed again. “Yup. Frustrating as hell. Keep it coming. You can do this all night, baby. I never come on my back like this, so play to your heart’s content. After you come again we’ll worry about me.”

  Play. That did sound like fun. Here was this incredible man underneath her legs, inside her body, and she could do whatever she wanted. Take him deep or shallow. She sped up her movements and he growled. She liked that, too. Liked the fast in-and-out motion. Then she tried it slow again and that was good.

  She wasn’t sure when it had changed, but the pressure definitely became a pleasure. And she wanted more of it. More of him. She sank down and forced her body to take all of him until their bodies were pressed tight.

  “Jo, yessss. That’s it. So good.”

  She leaned forward and rubbed against him, feeling the friction of his hard stomach pressing against her mound even as she forced his cock deeper. “Ahhh…”

  “Don’t push it, baby. Take only what you want.”

  But that was the crazy thing. She wanted all of him. She wanted him so completely inside her that she wouldn’t forget him. That he would be tattooed forever inside her body.

  “Mark. Mark.” It was a chant that left her body as she continued to move on him. Up and down in her own relentless rhythm. “I don’t know how to…get there. Help me. Please help me.”

  She saw his eyes open, felt his body tense, and she knew that she was no longer in charge of this ride.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  HELP ME. PLEASE help me.

  The words tore through Mark like an electric shock. Yes, he wanted to help her. Yes, he wanted to give her everything she needed. He wanted to be everything to her. Her savior, her ravager. Her pleasure.

  He sat up and it shifted his cock inside her body, which made her gasp.

  He decided making her gasp could be his new life mission.

  He grabbed he
r ass and pulled her closer, her legs shifting so they wrapped around his waist. He could feel the tips of her nipples agitating his chest, making him remember how they felt in his fingers, on his tongue. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she let her head fall back, accepting the switch in control. Then he started to thrust his hips, even as he was pulling her down hard on his erection, going deeper than she had taken him on her own. But her soft cries told him that she welcomed it.

  There was no finesse in this. His body was jerking and shoving at hers while she was trying to get closer, holding him even tighter so that place where they were connected was the center of both their universes.

  He thought about trying to use his fingers on her clitoris. He thought about trying to kiss her again. He thought of so many clean—and maybe even a little dirty—ways to bring her more pleasure, but he couldn’t make himself stop. He could feel the rush in his balls and knew what was coming, what he could no longer hold back.

  “Mark!”

  There it was. Her body squeezing around his, her insides squeezing around his cock in the tightest, hottest grip he could imagine. He thrust once, then again, then again, letting his orgasm overtake him, feeling his come spill out and crazily wishing that there was no condom between them. That he could be leaving himself inside her to become a part of her.

  Then all those crazy thoughts left him as he pulled her down with him, into the bed. Her legs stretched out alongside his, her cheek pressed against his chest. There was a pleasure in this he didn’t think he’d ever felt before. Her body filled with air and then released it in time with his own quick breaths. Like they shared a heart and lungs.

  Eventually he would need to separate himself from her, deal with the condom and the realities of sex, but for five more seconds he simply wanted to hold her.

  “I thought you said it didn’t happen for you in that position. I’m no expert or anything, but that felt like something happening.”

  It usually didn’t. Not since he’d been a teenager when a girl looking at him the right way was enough to get him off. He liked to be on top, controlling his own tempo in order to orgasm.

  There hadn’t been any control in what they had just done. His climax had hit him like a shot to the base of his spine, exploding out of him.

  Shit, that had felt good.

  But then reality intruded and he remembered why he’d wanted JoJo on top of him in the first place. He should have been softer with her, but he couldn’t summon the decency to be ashamed of himself.

  He could, however, be a gentleman now. Cupping her bottom he held her steady as he slipped out of her.

  “Nnnnn…”

  “I’m going to interpret that sound as regret.”

  “Half regret, half…I’m not sure what.”

  He rolled her again so that she was on her side and then left the bed. He could feel her eyes on him, following him. He had the urge to ask her if she liked what she saw—the first time in his life he’d ever cared about that.

  He went to the bathroom, dealt with the condom, then he grabbed a washcloth and turned on the water. Bringing it back into the bed, he didn’t hesitate before pressing the cold cloth against her sex.

  “Yeow!”

  “Hold still.”

  “It’s cold.”

  “It’s supposed to be.”

  “I thought you said you never had a virgin. What makes you think you know what you’re doing?”

  “It’s common sense. Cold will settle the inflammation. This way maybe we can do it again without it being too painful. I’m going on record to say I really, really want to do that again.”

  “Well, then, this makes all the sense in the world.”

  A niggling worry clouded over his good humor. “Was it too much this time?”

  “Too painful?”

  He nodded. He knew it hadn’t been painful enough for her to want to stop. He also knew he’d brought her pleasure at the end. But he hated the possibility that what had felt so completely right, so inherently good to him, had brought her pain instead.

  “No. It hurt a little in the beginning and I wasn’t sure it could ever really feel good.” She smiled shyly then and it made his heart flip in his chest. “But then it did.”

  Mark took the cloth away and tossed it in the direction of the bathroom. Then he settled into the bed again and brought her against his body. Satisfied that he’d taken care of her as best he could, he took the time to appreciate how she felt pressed up against him. Her breasts along his side, her leg over his, shifting in a way to cause the most pleasant kind of friction.

  “No bad thoughts,” he said.

  She propped her chin on his chest and for a second he could see she didn’t know what he was talking about. Then her eyes widened, as if she was surprised at herself.

  “No. I didn’t think about her at all.”

  He felt her stiffen and instantly he wrapped his arms around her to hold her closer. “Good. She doesn’t belong in this bed. You’ve held on for so long to what happened to her, I don’t know how you can remember the good stuff. The good stuff is what’s important.”

  “You’re right. Sleeping next to Sophie, I remembered that Julia used to make the same kind of sleep noises. I hadn’t thought of that in so long. It was a nice memory. I miss having nice memories of my sister.”

  Mark smiled. “Glad my daughter’s snoring is a good thing.”

  “She wasn’t snoring. More like snorting. Speaking of, I suppose I should go back. I doubt it would set a good example for her to wake up and see that I decided to change roommates. And be naked roommates.”

  “Right, I have to be responsible, don’t I?” Fathers didn’t let their daughters know they had sex. It seemed like a stupid rule. His daughter wasn’t an idiot. Hell, she had even encouraged him to date.

  Nancy. Not JoJo. JoJo, she had said, was strictly off-limits if they were going to be working together.

  In the aftermath of awesome sex that also sounded like a stupid rule. He didn’t want to fire JoJo. Didn’t want her to leave either his bed or his business. He supposed the reason why mixing business with pleasure was so taboo was because ultimately, when things ended, it would be unpleasant. They would be more involved professionally, more involved personally. Dividing up clients and cases would be a battle. Figuring out which of the things in the apartment was hers or theirs or his could be a nightmare.

  Intellectually it made sense. But when he looked forward and thought about the end, it was all blurry. It had never been blurry before.

  “No, stay for a little while. This is the part women like best.”

  “It is?”

  “Yeah, go figure, because orgasms are so awesome, but all women ever seem to want to do is cuddle.”

  “Well, maybe you weren’t doing it right with those other women.”

  He sent his hand down her body and pinched her ass.

  “Yeow!”

  Mark laughed. “You deserved it.”

  “So are we going to do it again?”

  This made him smile. “I don’t know. I told you my position on the matter, but it’s really up to you. Did you want to?”

  A pause and then she said, “Yeah.”

  He had to work to keep the smugness out of his next question. “You liked it?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You really liked it?”

  “Now you’re just feeding your ego.”

  “Let’s give it a little time. I need to recover. I am a man after all.” Although at the mere mention of doing it he could feel his sex swell. He needed to call on the nobility he had with her earlier this evening. She’d just gotten properly screwed and while he wasn’t a woman, he could imagine her body needed time to process that. “Then we’ll see how you feel.”

  He could feel her head plopping back onto his chest, rubbing her cheek against the mat of hair. “And we just stay here like this? Naked?”

  “That’s usually how it works.”

  “How do people sleep like th
is? You’re naked and I’m naked and we’re still touching and everything.”

  She was right. He’d swelled to a near full-on erection. Mentally, he told his body to chill out. What had happened between them had been pretty intense. While he obviously hadn’t killed her desire for sex in the future, he didn’t want to risk causing her pain. He wanted her to enjoy every second of their time together.

  “Close your eyes and just listen to my heartbeat.”

  “That will work?”

  “It will stop you from talking, which will let me sleep, and that’s all I really care about,” he said, laughing so she would know he wasn’t serious.

  He didn’t try to evade it when her hand swept down his body. He felt her fingers on the side of his butt and when she gave him a really hard pinch, he yowled.

  “You deserved it,” she said, then did as he suggested and settled more comfortably into his body. In minutes he could hear her sleeping noises and they filled him with some kind of huge emotion.

  She’d let him inside her body, she’d let herself fall asleep in his arms. She trusted him and Mark never wanted to lose that trust.

  *

  EARLY IN THE morning she stirred against him. Her hands moved over his body and he returned the favor. It was so slow and easy. So simple to roll her onto her back and kiss her breasts while she moaned softly in his ear and ran her hands up and down his back. Then he moved his body lower and found her soft stomach and her belly button, which while not designed for piercing, was perfectly adequate for him to dip his tongue into. When he did it, he made her squirm.

  Then he moved lower and waited for a beat to see how she would react. She had to know his intent. While she’d never had sex, only the youngest of children or most sheltered of adults could avoid knowing what it was all about. Still, he had to remember that everything was new to her. It only made sense that she would be hesitant to let him have whatever he wanted. And he was completely fine with that, as long as she let him have what he wanted eventually.