For the First Time

by Stephanie Doyle

  Because what he wanted, what he really wanted, was to make her scream with pleasure.

  Finally, her legs shifted apart and she arched her back and gave him everything.

  He felt like a king when he pressed his tongue against her slick folds. Like a god when she cried out his name as he brought her to climax. Like a man with his cock throbbing, desperate to be inside her.

  He had enough sense left to grab a condom from the nightstand where he’d stashed some just in case. When he was ready to enter her body, he forced himself to take it slow and easy. She was so snug, but this time there was less resistance to his entry. It was like she’d been welcoming him into her body all her life.

  He put his weight on his forearms on either side of her head and just rocked his hips into her in a steady, even beat. She kissed his chin, his cheek. She pulled her legs up and wrapped them around his hips. They kissed and made love and when she tightened around his body he held himself still and reveled in the feel of her climax before taking his own pleasure.

  This time there was no talk afterward. He took care of the condom and got back into bed. They repositioned themselves. He spooned her into his body and they fell back asleep like the lovers they now were.

  *

  MARK HEARD A sound but it didn’t register immediately. As he forced himself awake he had to work to recall where he was. Not in Afghanistan—he was too damn comfortable. Really comfortable. Like he could lie in this bed with this person for the rest of his life.

  That was right. He was with JoJo. They were lovers. Everything made sense.

  “Mark? Are you in there?”

  He wanted to tell whoever was knocking to go away, that he and JoJo were still sleeping. Then it occurred to him that the person on the other side of the door was his daughter.

  Oh, shit.

  Mark turned and saw JoJo still soundly sleeping on her stomach, her face turned toward him. The dark tattoos on her neck stood out in stark contrast to the white pillow. So hard and unforgiving, when she was anything but.

  He couldn’t wake her. He couldn’t force her to hide in the bathroom. It would somehow make what had happened between them last night wrong—and there was nothing wrong with what they did. It had been perfect.

  He rolled out of bed naked and snatched up his robe. Then he went over to open the door and deal with whatever reaction Sophie was going to have to the change in their sleeping arrangements.

  It was one more reason not to bother hiding the situation from her. He had no intention of going to bed tonight without JoJo next to him.

  Sophie looked anxious, which instantly worried him.

  “What’s up?”

  “Did JoJo say anything about having to do something this morning? I woke up because I wasn’t feeling well and her bed was empty. It’s been a few hours and I just thought…”

  Mark walked out of the bedroom and shut the door behind him. “JoJo’s asleep.”

  “No, that’s what I’m saying, she’s gone.”

  Mark used his chin to indicate the room behind him. “It’s okay. She’s with me.”

  “With you?”

  He watched his daughter’s face as understanding dawned. She said she hadn’t been feeling well and he could see it. Her cheeks were red, but there were dark circles under her eyes. She looked worn and tired.

  “Hey, I’m thinking we should find you a doctor. You really don’t look good.”

  “I’m fine. It’s just the flu or something,” she said tightly. “So are you serious? Are you two doing it now?”

  Having absolutely no idea how to have this conversation with a teenager, let alone his daughter, he thought back to when he was her age and what he would have wanted to hear.

  The truth, he suspected.

  “JoJo and I are sleeping together, yes. But it’s not going to change anything.”

  “Bullshit!”

  “Watch your language.”

  “Oh, please. Spare me your fatherly disapproval. I can’t believe you.”

  “I don’t get why you’re so upset by this. You like JoJo. You like hanging out with her and you even said she was my type.”

  “Yes, and then I said it was too bad because you couldn’t do anything about it. She works for you. Remember?”

  “I don’t think that has to change,” he said stubbornly, his thoughts from last night returning. Why couldn’t they work together, eat together, sleep together? Why couldn’t he have everything he wanted?

  “Of course it’s going to change! You’re freaking screwing her now. Everything is going to change. You’ll get tired of her like you did with Mom and then she’ll leave. She’s been, like, my only real friend and you just ruined it. But maybe you don’t care about that. I mean who cares if she leaves, right? Who cares if you leave for that matter.”

  “Leave?” The idea was crazy to him. She was his responsibility from now until, well, forever. “Sophie, where the hell do you think I’m going?”

  The door behind him opened and Sophie backed up a few steps, her glare and derision now fully transferred to the woman behind him.

  “Sorry. I heard you guys talking. Sophie, what’s happening between me and Mark doesn’t have to change anything between us.”

  “Right,” Sophie snapped. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter. You were probably just being nice to me so you could get into his pants.”

  JoJo moved to stand front of him. “That’s not fair. You know me better than that. You know I wouldn’t use anyone. Certainly not you. What happened between me and Mark…just happened.”

  “Like I said, I don’t care. But don’t even pretend we know each other, okay. You’re nothing to me. You’re just someone who my dad fu—”

  “Hey!” Mark barked. “That’s enough. I don’t know what bug crawled up your butt. You need to get over it. JoJo and I are together now.”

  “Together,” Sophie huffed. “You don’t know what together means. I’m out of here.”

  “You’re not going anywhere, young lady.”

  “Screw you…Dad.”

  Mark reached out to grab her arm, but she pulled away and bolted for the door. He ran after her, but she was fast and disappeared down the hallway in a blink. He pulled up when the elevator door closed behind her and cursed when another elevator opened. People got off, gaping at him as he stood there in his robe and bare feet.

  Then he heard the sound of feet pounding the floor behind him. While he’d been chasing Sophie down, JoJo had changed into a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. Her sneakers were unlaced as she came up beside him and hit the down arrow.

  “I’ll follow her.”

  “If she gets down to the lobby she could get a cab, go anywhere.”

  “Go get dressed. Start calling people at the other hotel. Nancy, Bay. She’ll likely go there.”

  “JoJo,” Mark said, taking her arm and wondering if she understood what had just happened. Sophie was out there in the city without him. “Find her.”

  She flashed him a smile as she kneeled down to tie her sneakers. When she stood, he could see the determination in her expression. “I won’t let anything happen to her. She might be pissed at me right now, but she’s the only friend I’ve made in a long time, too. I’m not letting her go.”

  The elevator dinged and JoJo stepped in. As the door closed, she gave him the thumbs-up sign and for some strange reason he felt relieved. JoJo wasn’t going to let anything happen to his daughter. Tightening the sash around his robe, he made his way back to the hotel room only to realize he had no key.

  What had started out as a great morning was turning into a real shit of a day.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  “NO, SIR. SHE’S not with me. Of course. As soon as I see her I’ll call you.”

  Bay hung up the hotel phone and Sophie closed her eyes with relief and gratitude. She hadn’t been sure that when it came to either choosing her or doing the right thing that Bay would pick her. He was a traditionalist that way.

  “You know this
is temporary, right? You’re going to have to talk to him eventually.”

  “Eventually,” Sophie repeated. “As soon as I get the image of them doing it out of my brain. Which could require a lobotomy.”

  Bay sat on the opposite end of the queen-size bed where she was stretched out. He was probably trying to show her that while he had no problem sitting on a bed on which she was lying, the closest they were going to get was two body lengths away.

  “Did you actually walk in and see them, you know, doing it?”

  The way she had previously told the story might have been slightly exaggerated. But it felt like she had caught them in the middle of something tawdry. Even though Mark hadn’t tried to hide it. Not really. Just came right out and said it.

  We’re together.

  What he forgot to add was…for now.

  “Not exactly. I mean, I wasn’t in the room with them or anything.”

  “You’re really that upset about it?”

  Yeah, she was really that upset about it. What bothered her was that she couldn’t exactly pinpoint why she was so upset. She felt betrayed by both of them. Like neither one of them thought about how she might feel about them sleeping together before they went ahead and did it.

  “I think they sort of fit together.”

  “What do you know about them?” Sophie snapped. Then she bit her tongue. She was supposed to be getting him to like her enough to make out with her. Snapping at him like she did with Mark was probably against the rules of flirting. Unfortunately, it seemed to be a pattern she’d developed. All someone had to do was tell her something she didn’t want to hear and bam, she turned into royal teen bitch.

  Sophie hated being so predictable. She decided to blame her attitude on her cold.

  “I know that she’s badass with her tattoos and all. The way she hopped up on the stage and took on the maestro for you, that was cool. Plus your dad’s already a badass just by being in the CIA. All I’m saying is I get why they like each other.”

  “Maybe.”

  “Plus she’s hot.”

  That had Sophie sitting up on her elbows, glaring at the opposite end of the bed. “You think she’s hot?”

  “Uh…yeah. Not pretty…hot. More like smart Goth-chic hot.”

  “Is that what you like? In a girl?”

  “Me?” Bay laughed. “No. My parents would kill me if I brought some girl home with piercings and a bunch of tattoos.”

  Sophie smiled, very pleased to hear that. She’d only met the Tongs once when Bay introduced her to them after opening night. She knew he didn’t do it because he wanted her to meet them. Only because they had asked to be introduced to her. She tried not to hold that against him. At the time she felt like they had approved of how she handled herself onstage and off. To a pair of longtime stage parents, that meant something.

  While she understood why she and Bay couldn’t officially date, she still had this idea that someday soon he would bring her home with him for a break or maybe even a holiday. Then the Tongs would get to know her and realize how mature she was for her age. Then Bay would be less freaked-out by the almost three-year age difference.

  Then…

  Sophie thought of her logical progressions like they were runs on the piano. It was part of what she loved about playing, each note leading to another note. Each sound building on the other. Starting low and then getting a little higher, a little higher, a little higher.

  That was the way she thought of everything.

  Get through the night after the police let her know her mother hadn’t survived the car wreck. Get up the next morning and don’t break down in front of her grandparents. Get through her mother’s funeral. And then…get on with her life. Alone.

  Get Bay to notice her. Get Bay to talk to her. Get Bay to like her. Get Bay to make out with her.

  Get Bay to have sex with her. To be her first.

  Always so nice and orderly. Every note in her life in its perfect place.

  “Bay, do you mind if I use the bathroom?”

  “Go ahead. But seriously, you need to call your father or JoJo. The whole letter thing probably still has them freaked-out. You can’t hide out here forever.”

  “Sure. I will.”

  She rolled off the bed but stilled herself when a wave of dizziness swamped her. Stupid cold. If it didn’t let up, tonight’s performance was going to suck. She wasn’t really worried about how she would play. She knew once she got onstage the adrenaline would kick in and overtake her. The sucky part would be afterward, when she would totally collapse. Which would make getting up for the next performance that much harder.

  But none of that mattered. She and Bay didn’t have to be at the theater until close to five. It was only ten in the morning. They totally had time to do it. Maybe they could even do it twice. Because she knew the first time would probably really hurt.

  Sophie looked at her reflection in the mirror. Immediately, she lifted her hand to her mouth and started biting through her clear polished nails. This time she didn’t try to stop herself but suffered through the horrible taste because she needed the comfort.

  Her hair was in a ponytail. She wasn’t wearing any makeup and she was wearing the jeans and black T-shirt she’d thrown on that morning. A black T-shirt with a big treble clef on it. She sighed. No wonder Bay thought she was a kid. She took out the twist band and tried to fluff her hair. Then she took off her T-shirt and stared at herself in just her bra.

  It was black. Another Victoria’s Secret bra that she had totally overpaid for, but she thought this one made her look bigger than she actually was. If she just walked out there without her shirt, then he would have to do something. Right?

  He was a guy. She would be almost naked. If she didn’t give him a chance and just walked up to him and started kissing him, then he would kiss her back. She was sure of it. Then once they started kissing she could entice him into going all the way. Guys wanted to go all the way all the time.

  And today she did, too. She was tired of waiting. Tired of playing by the rules.

  What did it get her anyway? Her mother was dead. Mark didn’t care enough about her to keeps his hands off her friend. And JoJo? JoJo was just using her. She wasn’t sure what hurt worse.

  She had been starting to feel, like, close. To both of them. But they didn’t care about her—all they cared about was getting into bed with each other.

  Proof that sex was probably even a bigger deal than she realized. Proof that no matter now noble Bay wanted to be, he wouldn’t be able to resist.

  All she had to do was go out there.

  Maybe she should take off her pants. Sophie reached for the top button and pulled them down.

  Okay. No way. She had on Snoopy underwear. Which was cute in the packet when she bought it. There was actually a Linus pair. But she couldn’t walk out there in something that made her look more like a kid. Instead she took off her bra, unhooking it and letting it slide off her shoulders before she could think about it.

  Her stomach started to flutter and she could feel her face flush. She forced herself to keep her hands at her sides and let her hair fall behind her back. Actually, her breasts looked better in the bra. Definitely bigger.

  “Yo, you okay in there?”

  Sophie scrambled to put her bra back on, even though she doubted Bay would open the door. “I’ll be out in a second.”

  This was it. She could do this. “Bay,” she said softly to the mirror. “I want you to be my first. I swear I won’t tell anyone.”

  Turning toward the bathroom door, she took a deep breath. She could do this. She was ready. She wanted this. She wanted this with him. She wanted to be important to someone. Sex would change everything between them.

  When she put her hand on the doorknob, she saw that it was shaking. She was such a pansy. It was just sex. Girls her age did it all the time. And he couldn’t reject her. Not with her in a black bra. He was a guy. They had absolutely no control.

  Opening the door, she forc
ed herself to walk out into the room. He was flipping channels on the television.

  “Hey, I thought if you want to hang out we could watch a movie.”

  “Bay.” Her voice cracked. “I swear I won’t tell anyone.”

  He turned and his eyes got big and his jaw dropped. “Sophie…”

  “Please don’t say…say…” Oh, this wasn’t happening.

  Completely out of her control, she bent over and hurled on the carpet in front of him.

  *

  “ARE YOU GOING to tell Mark?”

  JoJo removed the cool cloth she’d placed on Sophie’s head and replaced it with a fresh one. The cloth apparently had tremendous healing power because Sophie was finally speaking.

  She knew what Sophie was asking, but she wasn’t sure what the right answer was. When she got to the hotel JoJo had gone straight to Bay’s room, knowing not to trust what he’d told Mark on the phone. She knocked on the door and shouted “house cleaning,” which apparently he was desperate to have right at that moment because he immediately opened the door.

  JoJo had pushed through and found Sophie on her knees in front of a pile of sick wearing only her jeans and her bra and sobbing hysterically.

  JoJo feared Bay might have developed a permanent stammer, given the amount of stuttering that accompanied the excuses he’d been trying to offer while she helped Sophie to the bed. First JoJo got the girl back into her T-shirt and then she had brought her back to their hotel suite.

  Thankfully, Mark was gone. He’d gone to the theater to try to track her down. When JoJo called him, his relief had been palpable—until she told him to go for a walk for an hour.

  He’d pressed her for information but all JoJo offered up was that they needed girl time.

  Men didn’t mess with girl time.

  He agreed, but only for the forty minutes it would take him to walk back to the hotel from where he was.

  JoJo hoped it was enough time.

  “So are you?”

  JoJo shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not really good at this. I guess he should know, so he can talk to you about sex and stuff.”

  Sophie closed her eyes and groaned. “Please do not make me talk to Mark about sex.”