Silent No More

by N. E. Henderson

  My gaze cut over to the woman who had covered her mouth with a hand. My heart broke in that moment. Standing naked in my living room was my best friend, Allison. Her sky blue eyes were wide with shock. It couldn’t be real. This had to be a sick joke, but it wasn’t. It was real all right.

  “You bitch!”

  It was all I could say as tears immediately sprung to my eyes. I turned my back on them, jerking my keys out of the door and raced the short distance back to my car. As I slowed my pace, I noticed Allison’s red metallic BMW Z4 convertible parked out front. The one I passed on the way in. How did I not notice it? I was in her car at least twice a week! I slid into my Porsche while in a daze. I raced out of the parking a little faster than I should have, tears spilling from my eyes.

  I’m forced back to the present when I hear my iPhone ring for the hundredth time since I left my apartment. That’s a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the picture. I ignore the display as I have every time it has rung since leaving home. Grabbing it, I flip the silent switch on and toss it over into my shotgun seat. It will still vibrate, but I won’t have to listen to the annoying ringing sound.

  Glancing at the clock on the dash it reads 6:48pm. I puff out a breath of air knowing it’s time to find a place to crash for the night. My body aches and I have a piercing migraine above my eyes. I know I can call my friends, Katelyn and Stacy and stay at their place, but sleeping on their couch does not appeal to me. I need a comfy bed to crawl into so I can forget about today. I’m not ready to talk about what happened, and I know if I go there, that’s exactly what will happen. If I say it aloud, it will make it more real. My best friend betrayed me.

  Backstabbing bitch!

  I see The Cove ahead on the right, about a quarter of a mile up the road just as “Burn” by Papa Roach starts to play through my speakers. I decide in a nanosecond that is exactly where I need to be. It is, after all, one of my weekly hangouts for one reason or the other. Not the hotel, but the amenities it offers such as a luxury spa, bars, and restaurants.

  I love The Cove.

  Allison and I get pedicures at Serenity, The Cove’s spa, once a month. Well, not anymore...that whore will have to find someone else to have a spa day with.

  God...did I really just think that? I can’t believe I just called my best…ex-best friend a whore, and actually meant it. But you know what? That kind of felt good. I’ve never been the type of person to call people petty cruel names, but now, I finally understand why people do it.

  I whip into the parking lot, pulling up to the valet. A young guy saunters over to my car door, opening it for me. Taking his hand, I swing my left leg out of my car, allowing him to pull me up. He’s stronger than he looks. He can’t be more than eighteen, but like any teenager his age, he gives me a once over with his pale blue eyes. Any other time this might make me smile or even laugh, but not today. Sliding around him, I mumble a thank you as he sinks into the driver’s seat of my car. He’s pulling away as I make my way inside.

  I’m amazed every time I enter this place. Words don’t do justice to the grand entrance. It’s modern and sleek. I love everything about this hotel. The aroma is something I’ve never smelled elsewhere. It’s inviting and rich, yet warm. I walk up to the receptionist’s desk. The cutest blonde girl I’ve ever seen greets me. Maybe she is new. I don’t remember seeing her before; then again, I don’t usually check-in for a room when I come here. Her face is plastered with a wide smile. It’s not the fake smile I get by most people in the customer service industry. She genuinely looks happy to help me.

  After checking in, I toss the key card into my purse, but don’t go up to my room; instead I head straight for the main hotel bar. This hotel has three bars and two restaurants. The main bar is called Quaint and it’s just that. It is charming, dark and quiet, just the place to drown my sorrows, a place to be alone.

  Getting drunk has never been my idea of fun, and definitely not something I do regularly. Don’t get me wrong, I love a beer and a glass of wine or even the bubbly, but I hate that feeling of no control. In fact, I’ve only been drunk once in my life, right after I graduated college and I swore I’d never do it again.

  Of course, when I made that vow, I never imagined I would have caught the two most important people in my life screwing...each other. God, I’ve given that fuck-face five damn years of my life. Why the hell would he do this to me…to us?

  How could Ally, of all people, do this? We have…had been best friends since the first day of junior high, over fourteen years ago. We both decided to attend the same college so we wouldn’t be apart. We have always been inseparable. She’s like the sister I never had. Apparently, I’m the only one that felt that way.

  Fucking bitch!

  The bartender approaches me as I take a seat at one of the empty bar stools near the end of the bar on the right side. I go for a smile, but I know it doesn’t reach my eyes. I don’t know if I’ll ever smile again. Yeah, you could say I’m a bit depressed right now. If that is in fact what this empty, lonely, angry feeling is. I’m not clinical, so I can’t exactly go diagnosing myself.

  “What’s it going to be, pretty lady?” His smile is warm and sincere. It matches his chocolate eyes and dark hair that is peppered with a bit of grey.

  “Vodka tonic and NO questions, Sam,” I say, emphasizing “No” as I remove the small round diamond ring from my ring finger. I should have taken it off earlier. I twirl it around my fingers while I’m waiting on Sam to bring my drink over.

  Cripple dick.

  Surprisingly, I’m more hurt by my best friend than I am the man I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with. What does that say about our relationship?

  Sam returns and I place the ring on the counter to take the drink from his hand. He eyes me with concern when he watches me lay the ring on the counter, but doesn’t say anything about it. He turns, walking to the other end of the bar to serve two men in business attire who have just sat down.

  I’m not one of Sam’s regulars, per se, but we are on a first name basis with each other, and he always recognizes me when I stroll in. I pop in occasionally after work on Friday evenings. I like to have a glass of wine to relax before going home to get ready for a night out with my friends. Friday nights generally consist of Katelyn, Stacy, Ben, Kyle and myself. Luke and Ally always have to work. Plus, Stace has never gotten along with Luke so I try to keep them apart as often as possible.

  I look at Sam at the other end of the bar as I take my first sip. The liquid doesn’t flow smoothly down my throat. It’s a bit tart, and normally I’d want to make a disgusted gag face and stick my tongue out, but I force it down anyway before taking a larger gulp. The larger the sips I swallow, the faster I’ll be done. The faster I’ll be done, the faster I’ll forget today ever happened.

  I know Sam is probably wondering why I’m here on a Wednesday night, but I’m grateful he doesn’t question me. I’m in no mood for conversation. I just want to forget what I saw and vodka is the way to do that. I lift the lime wedge from the rim of my glass to suck the juices out before tossing it into the liquid.

  Just as I’m swallowing a small sip from my fourth glass of vodka tonic, my phone starts to buzz on the counter. I’m now wondering why I bothered pulling it out of my purse as I grab it, eyeing the display screen. I roll my eyes, and then when I swipe the answer button across the glass screen of my phone, I speak in the harshest voice I can muster, “Go! To! Fucking! Hell!” I punctuate each word to get my point across, then press end, tossing it into my purse. Why doesn’t he just give it up already? He’s the one that fucked up, not me. He and I are finished! There is no talking your way out of that shit. There is no apology that can undo it. Our relationship is over!

  I hope his dick falls off! Yeah, that’s a bit harsh, but who gives a shit?? Not me.

  Fuck him!

  And fuck her too!

  I nearly jump in my seat when I hear the sound of a man’s voice. It’s a deep strong, modulated voice, the type of v
oice that penetrates your ears and demands attention. “He must have fucked up pretty bad to make a beautiful woman sit in a bar, drinking all by herself.”

  Although the voice is pleasant to my ears, I just want to be left alone tonight. Getting hit on really is the last thing I need right now. I look in the direction of his voice to glare at him. He’s sitting around the corner to my right, only about five feet away from where I’m seated. My eyes automatically soften when they meet the bright blue flames. Talk about intense. They look like the blue embers of a roaring fire reflecting back at me.

  Damn!

  I need to say that again. Damn!

  Those might be the most perfect set of eyes I’ve ever seen, and definitely the most intense. I lean back a little, feeling like I’ve been knocked back against a wall. Air momentarily leaves my body. How have I not noticed this man before now? It may be dark inside the bar, but those eyes stand out; they’re virtually glowing at me from a few feet away. When the oxygen returns, I silently ask myself, am I that caught up in myself? Yeah, I am. At least, tonight I am.

  The way he’s staring at me is unnerving…unraveling. It’s as though he looking inside my head and really seeing me, seeing the “me” I don’t allow people to see. The last thing I want is for anyone to see that deep inside. Of course, maybe it’s just the alcohol and I’m only imaging the way he’s gazing at me.

  As I take in the rest of his face, I notice his hair is dark brown or it could be black. It’s too dark in the bar to tell. It's messy on top as though he’s run his fingers through it a few times. He has a square jaw with a little stubble on his face that makes him slightly rugged, but sexy as sin. A mouth that looks like it could devour anything it touches. Allowing my eyes to dip, I see he’s wearing a dark-colored suit jacket with a white shirt, no tie. The jacket is open with the first two buttons at the top of the shirt undone. There is no hair that I can see poking out, so he probably has a smooth chest. His shoulders are broad…large. He’s not a small man by any means.

  This guy is smoking hot and oddly…familiar, but I know I’ve never met him before. I would remember a man like this.

  I begin to feel a little off balance and not because of the alcohol I’ve consumed. My body heats up and I feel a flush creeping across my face. Whatever thought washed through my mind is gone now. I can’t remember what I was going to say, so I turn back to my drink, taking an even larger sip, not liking this feeling in the pit of my stomach one bit.

  I don’t know why I’m even drinking a vodka tonic. I hate this drink. Tonic, yuck. But I can’t lie to myself; I know exactly why I’m drinking this. Vodka will get me where I plan on being the quickest. I have a goal, and I intend to get there.

  He addresses me again as I’m draining the liquid in my glass down my throat. “You really should slow down. That’s your fourth, and I don’t want to see that beautiful face of yours hit the floor.”

  He sounds like he is genuinely concerned. I don’t give a shit how concerned he is. I am none of his business, and how much I drink is certainly none of his concern. Who the fuck is he to tell me to slow down? I’m starting to get pissed off. It’s been a long fucking day, and an even longer time since anyone has told me what to do. I’m not about to let someone do it again.

  Ever!

  I look in his direction, giving him my best “fuck off” expression. “I don’t believe I asked nor need your permission to do as I damn well please, so why don’t you mind your own God damn business, and stay the hell out of mine?” I say this in a calm and controlled tone, hoping that it will shut the fucker up.

  It doesn’t.

  His eyes darken and smolder. I wish he wouldn’t look at me the way he does. It makes me squirm in my seat. The look in his eyes screams authority and control. I’ve seen that look once before, but not exactly like his. He doesn’t scare me at all.

  “Careful, sweetheart, you may pay for that remark later,” he says as he takes a sip of his drink. His eyebrow is arched and I can see the corner of his lips turn slightly upward behind his glass.

  “Are you threatening me?” I ask, with I’m sure shock written all over my face.

  “No, just a warning,” he laughs out. His eyes soften, but still remain intense. His smile widens as though he’s thinking about something, but he never breaks eye contact with me.

  So, he’s an arrogant fuck! That smile probably gets a lot of women to drop their panties. Sorry, buddy, but I’m not that kind of girl.

  I roll my eyes and pick up my drink, knocking the rest back in one gulp. I wave to Sam, ordering my fifth. Sam looks hesitant, but fixes me another anyway. Blue eyes and I don’t say another word to each other, but I notice he orders a gin and tonic with lemon right after Sam brings me a fresh glass.

  I reach for my phone inside my purse to check the time. I clear out the ten missed calls not even bothering to look at the text messages. I’ll deal with all of them tomorrow. Finally looking at the time, I see it’s almost 9:30 pm. At least I’m getting drunk early. I’ll still be able to get enough sleep before work in the morning.

  I’m mid-way through my sixth drink; my head is fuzzy and clouded. Maybe I should have taken the man’s advice and slowed down a little. If anything, his remark made me continue down my path.

  Asshole.

  I know it’s time to go, and God, I really hope I can make it to my room. I wave Sam over, asking for my check while reaching into my purse for my credit card. I place the card on the counter then store my phone in an inside pouch.

  As Sam approaches a few seconds later, I push the stool back standing up. Everything starts to spin.

  Shit!

  Double shit!

  I’m dizzy and this is bad. I needed a distraction, but I think I may have pushed myself too far. Why the hell did I do this to myself? I’m so going to pay for this tomorrow morning.

  “God damn it, Shannon!” I faintly hear to my right as I lose my balance. I try to grip the bar, but it slips from my grasp as I start to fall backwards.

  Who said my name? I’m surprised my brain can even form a question as it’s barely registering that I’m falling to the ground. It wasn’t Sam. I’m sure of that, and I never told Mr. Hotness my name, so it couldn’t have been him either.

  I don’t land on the floor like I think I’m going to. Instead, I’m being lifted into warm strong arms. My eyes are closed and too heavy to open, but I smell him. It’s like a powerful and unique natural male scent. There is no hint of cologne on him. I’ve never been attracted to the way a man smells, but by God, this fresh, sweet scent is maddening. I’m too far gone to object his hold on me when I hear Sam’s voice. It’s low and behind me. He mentions something about my room, but I don’t hear everything. I feel warm and safe.

  This is everything I wanted to feel since I left my apartment earlier today.

  TWO

  I wake feeling warm, comfortable and well rested. Slowly, I sit up in my bed, but quickly realize this is not the bed in my apartment. Everything from the day before comes rushing back to me. Images of Luke and Ally in my living room flood my mind. I remember coming to The Cove last night, but I’ve stayed here a few nights in the past so I know this bed is plusher and has nicer linen. This isn’t the bed in my room, unless I was upgraded and don’t remember. I’m a little worried.

  As I look around the large room, for the first time in my life, I don’t know where I am. Light through the white sheer curtains filters into the room, but no one besides me is in the bed…or this room. I pull the covers off and scoot to the edge of the mattress. My eyes widen as I look down. Panic flutters and threatens to rise in my chest.

  “What the fuck have I done?” I question out loud, as I take in the sight of myself. I’m wearing my white panties and matching bra, along with a huge white t-shirt that I know is much too big to belong to me. Plus, I didn’t bring any of my clothes, so where the hell did it come from?

  Oh. My. God. No. No. Nooooo! I’m screaming in my head.

  I spot the clothes
I was wearing yesterday sitting on a chair in the corner neatly folded. My cream pumps are lying next to the chair on the floor. I can’t help but sigh in relief.

  Getting out of bed, I quickly change into my white button-up shirt, grey pencil skirt and pumps. I leave the tee shirt on the chair where my clothes had been.

  I walk to the door, putting my ear against the wood, listening for any sounds in the next room. All is quiet. I take a second trying to recall last night, but the last thing I remember is my conversation with the jerk at the bar. I remember nothing else. I say a silent prayer to God not to let me open this door and see him…then again, maybe I do. What’s worse? The guy I remember from last night or another man I do not?

  Fuck!

  I can’t believe I let this happen. This is so not me; I swear.

  I ease the door open and walk out. Sitting at a desk next to one of the windows is the asshole himself. I’m overcome with relief for some strange reason. That’s a weird feeling and one I don’t think I should have at this moment. He looks up and our eyes lock. He still has the most amazing eyes I have ever seen. Super intense. That part I definitely remember. He smiles at me, showing no teeth, but it’s definitely a warm smile.

  “Good morning,” he greets me as he closes the lid on his MacBook. Shutting the door behind me, I continue looking at him, wondering how I ended up here. I try to rationalize everything in my head, but I was in his bed after all. I always think the worst of every situation I’m in. At least I was wearing my underwear. Surely, that’s a good sign?

  Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Shannon.

  “Hi,” is the only thing out of my mouth as I tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear. My tone is low and soft. I sound unsure of myself. He has a smirk on his face as he stands up from his desk chair. After he pushes the chair back, he walks around to the side of his desk.