LIGHTS IN THE SHADOW

by Rana Demiriz

  I was confused, and that helped ease down my embarrassment. My cheeks were turning back to normal. Finally!

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “What’s the first thing that comes to your mind when I say shadows?”

  He was confusing me even further. The way he answered my every question with another question didn’t really help me clear my head.

  “Well… Err… The time I guess, or… Lights? I don’t know, maybe it’s the sun…” He got up and started to pace the room up and down just like I did minutes ago.

  “The sun? Sun, shadows… Four o’clock…”

  He was getting closer to the target. “Is it my turn to go mad?” I tried to make a joke, but it only made me look dumb, so I decided to stop talking. Rio suddenly came to me, held me by the arm, and made me get up off the chair.

  “We’ve got to go. Come on! We have to be there before it’s too late!” He let my arm go. He was already by the door. I was still watching him anxiously across the room by the chairs.

  “Be where?” I asked.

  “To The Sun Gate,” he said.

  “Excuse me!?” I asked one more time just to make sure that I heard him right. Were we seriously going there?

  “Mia, I think that’s where they want us to go.”

  “The Sun Gate?” I asked once again. Instead of answering, he got inside the elevator. Time seemed to slow down. Every word found its place on my mind. Everything was starting to make sense. I didn’t know how much time had passed while we were waiting, but there was nobody in the large, luxurious elevator except the attendant and us.

  The note I received half an hour ago wasn’t just a note anymore. It was also a compass. It was obviously a map sent to us, or rather to me. When we reached downstairs, we got in one of the taxies which were waiting outside the hotel. I turned to the driver, one hundred percent sure of our destination, and the words came out of my mouth unintentionally.

  “Puerta Del Sol.”

  I knew that place. I’d seen its pictures countless times. Puerta Del Sol meant ‘The Gate of Sun’. It was also the center of Spain, which meant that it was exactly 500 kilometers away from the Sun Gate wherever you go in Spain. It was literally called the ‘0 km’. There is a zero kilometer stone in the center of Puerta Del Sol square.

  I’ve always wanted to see it, but I wish the timing weren’t so bad. Still, I kept looking out of the window until we reached Puerta Del Sol. I was impatient, excited. Normally, as a quiet person, despite the weird stuff happening around me, I was used to a calmer lifestyle. The ‘adventures’ of us had a different effect on me. I was enjoying the exciting impatience.

  I assumed we arrived at Puerta Del Sol, judging by the crowd. I got off the taxi, and for a moment, I just stood there with my mouth open with amazement. Right in the center, there was a statue representing Madrid’s coat of arms, as I remembered from my textbooks, which was a bear, reaching out to a madrona apple or a strawberry tree. I didn’t know when I could manage to take my eyes off the statue, but I saw Rio when I did. He was anxious.

  “We can’t afford to lose any more time, Mia! Come on. We’ve got to solve the riddle!” He checked his watch, and so did I. It was twenty to four. He lifted his head up to look at me. I had to tour around the square no matter what. I put on my most innocent smile and started to beg.

  “Who knows when I will ever get the chance to come here, Rio? Please, please… Just a little tour. Look, there is a museum just two blocks away, and it’s-”

  “Mia, please stop it. Just focus on solving the riddle, okay?” he interrupted me. I pouted and opened my eyes widely. He seemed like he could give up at any moment.

  “What can I do to change your mind? What can I do to help you concentrate on our duty?” I was wrong. He wasn’t going to give up that easily.

  “Promise me.”

  “I promise I’ll bring you here after everything is over, and you can stay here as much as you like. You can go everywhere, eat anything and do whatever you like.” I thought about it for a while, and then I flinched with a sudden thought.

  “What if I die?” My voice was trembling. Rio closed his eyes and turned his head up to the sky.

  “Now we’re back where we started.” His voice was low but filled with anger. He seemed to be out of patience. He opened his eyes and grabbed me by the arm. He shook me lightly.

  “Mia, stop overthinking because you’re not going to die. Do you hear me? You are not going to die. You can’t die.” The way he said his last sentence grabbed my attention. What did he mean by saying that I can’t die? The vulnerability in my eyes must have softened him. It was also reflected in the tone of his voice. He suddenly seemed like a fragile boy. “You’re not supposed to die, Mia. We need you for humanity and goodness. You have to live for the sake of all beings,” his voice weakened slowly, and he looked at me with piercing eyes.

  “I need you.”

  Those three words were enough to persuade me. He needed me, so I had to stay with him, and I was surely not going to die. Rio looked into my eyes even more intensely. He was coming towards me, closing the distance between us.

  No!

  Just when I thought he was going to kiss me, my head started to get numb with that familiar feeling. I was drowning in a sea of emotions and senses. My eyes lost their focus, and everything started to get blurry. My eyes were probably turning Azurite blue. Something wrong was happening. I couldn’t understand what was happening, but I knew I was about to sense something. Rio’s voice was ringing in my ear. He was screaming my name, and then everything went black.

  When I opened my eyes, I was shaking, and I could feel the soft fabric of Rio’s shirt. I was in Rio’s arms. He was carrying me. We were in one of the dark alleys where the sun couldn’t reach. For some reason, there was no one around us. I wriggled restlessly on his arms. He lowered his eyes and looked at me. “I’m fine; get me down,”

  He did what I asked. I held on to his arm until my dizziness passed. “Why are we here?” I looked at the nearly abandoned alley.

  “Because you were about to blow our cover. It was too crowded, and people were looking. Your eyes suddenly changed color, and I think you sensed something.”

  I remembered. “Yes!” I yelled and hung on to his arm tighter. I dragged him by the arm and started to run. Even though I had no idea where we were, I followed the light till we reach the end of this godforsaken alley. I followed the noise, and when we finally turned the corner, we were back at the square with the big statue again: Puerta Del Sol.

  I checked to see where the shadow of the bear was reaching. This was Madrid’s symbol. We rushed to get there, but it was hard because of the crowd. A new horde of tourists was getting off the bus, so they were all rooted in their place, taking photographs. For a moment, I wished I was one of them, but I kept running. After ‘hey’ and some Spanish words –probably insults-, we finally reached the spot where the glorious statue’s shadow fell.

  “Mia, what’s happening? Can you tell me? Is this about something you sensed?” I couldn’t answer. I was still calculating the shadows.

  I heard the beeping of an electronic watch from somewhere. I grabbed Rio’s arm impolitely and checked the time. It was exactly four o’clock, just like it should be. I lowered my head to see the statue’s shadow. We probably seemed funny. While everyone was looking at the statue itself, we were looking at its shadow.

  And then something happened that only Rio and I could see. The shadows started to shift and dance with the lights. I couldn’t believe my eyes.

  “Look!” I yelled at Rio.

  Rio was also looking in amazement. Other people were staring at us disapprovingly like we were mad. If I were the only one to see the dance of the shadows, I would be suspicious about my own mental health, but Rio also saw it.

  The dancing shadows started to take shape. I realized that it was a word. Rio and I locked our eyes, and I read it out loud.

  “Toledo…”

  CHAPTER 14
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  I looked at the word in shock, the word which was revealed after the dance of the shadows. What I felt was indescribable. Toledo: One of the oldest cities in the world... Toledo, which was inhabited by the Romans first… The medieval city which has a glorious past and an amazing source of history of arts… And the city I always wished to see… Now I was finally going there. It didn’t matter why or how. This must be my lucky day. Actually, for a moment, it felt like someone knew my deepest desires and choosing these magnificent places on purpose to make me happy.

  After we read the word, we just kept standing there till we could shake off our bewilderment. Of course the word ‘Toledo’ disappeared just in seconds. If we didn’t look closely enough, even we could miss it. We realized the time was passing as the shadows grew longer. I don’t remember how much time it took us to reach our hotel. We acted rather quickly. Rio was thinking about our next move. He was anxious. He could even be mad at what was written by the shadows. He seemed weary as if his fears were coming true one by one.

  And now, we were sitting on the blue velvet chairs in our room once again and watching the sunset in a crowded Madrid street. In our honeymoon suite. We didn’t seem like we were on our honeymoon at all. In fact, we weren’t even dating. Everything that had happened to us was nothing but a mere coincidence. At least, I wish it was. I wish we were not destined to be together. I frowned as I thought about what happened at Puerta Del Sol. I completely forgot about it after everything that happened. How close we got… I wondered if it was really going to happen. I mean, would he do it? Would I do it? I shuddered with a thought I couldn’t even confess to myself: If my talent hadn’t got in the way, we would have…

  “Mia? Mia? Are you here?”

  I turned to look at Rio. After thinking about what was about to happen earlier, it was too hard for me to catch his eyes. I guess I was blushing again. I was giving myself away. “Sorry? You were saying?”

  He started to laugh. He pulled his right leg up to his chest and leaned back on the chair. This was the way how he laughs.

  “What now?” I asked, trying to keep the panic out of my voice. I shouldn’t have let my emotions show.

  “You’re blushing in front of me. It crept up from your neck to…” His laughter didn’t let him finish his sentence.

  I squinted as my lips became a thin line. “And you think this is funny?”

  He straightened up on his chair and sat back again. “No, I don’t think this is funny at all. You’re just so innocent,” I said. He got serious. He looked out of the window, and he seemed more distant than ever, and then he looked back at me.

  “I wish none of this had happened to you. I assume you never killed anyone before?” His question startled me. I wasn’t expecting to hear something like this. In fact, I wasn’t even sure if he really meant what he said.

  “Did you?” I asked. I wondered how his answer would be like. On second thought, I didn’t want to know.

  He raised his one eyebrow. “I… Err… I did what I had to do.”

  I jumped to my feet with a sudden move. God! I was in the same room with a murderer!

  “I thought you were the Master of Light! This is… This-”

  He stood up and covered my mouth with his hand. I guess my voice came out higher than I thought.

  “Mia! You’re giving us away. Be quiet!” His eyes were filled with worry. As I couldn’t speak, I just nodded, and he lowered his hand.

  We sat back, and I started to yell at him just as expected: “I can’t believe it! What kind of a good guy, are you? You’re not supposed to kill anyone…”

  He leaned his head on the chair and started to rub his forehead with his hand. “I… had to, I have enemies too. Enemies who want to torture me or worst…”

  My hands were as cold as a stone. What have I got myself into? “I can’t understand. You could still show mercy to them. Or maybe someone else could do the dirty deed, but you shouldn’t have! I suppose you enjoy killing too?”

  He laughed bitterly. It was one of those moments when you can’t decide how to react in the face of overbearing emotions and just laugh instead. “Do you think I enjoy this? All of those tortures? I wish someone could actually kill me in one of those attacks. But I can’t die. I told you before. I wish I could just die and be freed from all of this. Damn it!”

  I saw the pain embroidered in his eyes. “You get what you deserve,” he snorted grumpily as an answer to my words. His body language showed that he was angry: He was still rubbing his forehead, and his eyes were closed shut. I badly provoked him, and I didn’t have the right to do so, as he did nothing but protecting me so far.

  I got up and stood behind his seat. I gently moved away from his hand from his forehead and put my fingers to his temples. His skin was warm to touch. I started to massage, and he lifted his head to me. My eyes met with his green eyes apologetically.

  “Just relax.”

  He hesitated for a moment, but then he buried his head to his seat again, and I kept rubbing his forehead. I couldn’t see if his eyes were open or not, but I could see that the tension was released from his clenched chin.

  After a while, I asked, “Are we going to Toledo?”

  He sighed. “Of course.”

  I pulled my fingers away. “I’ll go and pack then. It shouldn’t be that far from here if I’m not wrong,”

  After he tilted his head sideways and relaxing his neck, he got up from his seat. I leaned against my seat and really looked at him this time. The street lights, which somehow managed to creep into our dark room were dancing on his tired face. He looked so beautiful, almost angelic, with his soft curly hair and green eyes. His face was like a mirror, reflecting innocence and purity. Right at that moment, he seemed like a fragile little boy trapped in a grown man’s body. I could almost see the weight he was carrying on his shoulders. I just wanted to hug him. I trusted him. He was protecting me. In fact, I never felt safer with anyone before. What was happening to me?

  “Yeah, we should pack.” I checked the time; it was almost six o’clock. If we left now, we could make it there by dinner.

  "Okay, I'll get to work then."

  He turned his back. "And I'll make the arrangements."

  I nodded and looked at my luggage, scattered all over the bed. I shoved everything inside. Meanwhile, I was listening to Rio's phone call. "Okay, we're going to Toledo. I had no idea how far this could get..." His voice got lower.

  Right at that moment, someone knocked at the door. Rio cut his conversation short and went to get the door. I turned to see who it was, or rather what it was. Champagne, a huge fruit plate, and a serving cart filled with red rose petals was brought in the middle of our room with the help of a waiter. I went to Rio. He seemed as surprised as I was.

  The waiter left the serving cart, filled the glasses with champagne, and gave them to us. Another man appeared behind the waiter. At first, thinking that this might be an attack, Rio pulled me behind, but after he realized it was the man from the reception whom he argued with, he let go of me. The man put his hands together and slightly bowed.

  “Sir, please accept our apologies.”

  He pointed towards the champagne glasses. I could tell how good quality it was merely by smelling it. I didn't care if the glass contained the world's deadliest poison. A glass of fine champagne was just what I needed right at that moment. I brought the elegant glass to my lips and took a few sips. I felt my nerves loosen up immediately with the champagne's rich aroma. Rio turned to the man and started to speak.

  "I'm sorry, but we were just about to check out. Thank you for your kindness but we have to go to Toledo."

  It was such a pity that I couldn't spend a few more days in this beautiful room.

  The man politely nodded and left the room with the waiter, leaving the serving cart behind. I just stood there in wonder with Rio. My glass had hardly any champagne in it, while Rio's glass was full. How fast did I drink it? Rio looked at my empty glass.

  “Champagne, s
eñorita?” He smiled and made a low courtesy.

  I laughed. “Por favor.”

  Rio filled my glass with champagne and drank his. When we both finished our second glasses, it was already dark outside. “I think we should get going,” I said.

  His eyes were serious. “Yes.”

  We left our glasses on the serving cart. Rio took my bag from the bed. I gave a last look at the room and the blue velvet chairs. I knew I would probably never get the chance to stay in a room like this again. It must have cost Rio a fortune.

  While Rio was checking out, I sat on the luxurious seats in the lobby. When he came beside me, I was already daydreaming. It must be the champagne. I was already numb.

  “Mia, come on, let's go. I rented a car; our driver will take us there.”

  A car with a chauffeur? Why was I even surprised? Considering he was spending too much money since the moment we met, Rio must be really wealthy. But I didn't really want to think about it. After all, it wasn't my concern.

  I hesitated for a second when I saw the black Audi waiting for us in front of the hotel. It had tinted windows, and it was so shiny that I could see my own reflection looking back at me. I made a sour face.

  “Don't you like it?” Rio asked.

  “I was expecting a limo,” I said, looking all serious. His eyes were wide open with surprise.

  I laughed. “I am just kidding.” It was probably the champagne talking.

  I walked towards the black Audi. When I was about to get in, Rio acted first and held the door open for me. I thanked him. His smile got wider, and his green eyes shone for a moment. He sat in the backseat with me. We didn't talk much at the beginning of our journey. He just told me what he knew about the places we pass by.

  His voice was both distant and closed at the same time. The two glasses of champagne I drank hit me. My head was dizzy and slightly aching. I shouldn't have drunk on an empty stomach. As the buildings were getting few and far between and the lights lessened, I closed my eyes. I didn't remember anything from that point. I could vaguely remember Rio carrying me out of the car.