Wanting You

by Danyell Wallace

  “Tamia!” He interrupts me. “This has nothing to do with the way that you look. I love you and only you. Why can't you understand that?”

  I wipe my face with my hands and stare in the direction of Kellen's phone that's still lying on the floor. He follows my gaze and when he sees what my attention is on, he begins to look pale.

  “You tell me Kellen.” I grab my bag and leave the plane.

  CHAPTER 12

  Is It Over?

  Tamia

  Voice mail One hour later....

  “Tamia. Please baby, let me explain........”

  Thirty minutes after...

  “Tamia, there's nothing going on between me and Ashley. It's not what you think. I need you to call me............”

  Fifteen minutes later...

  “Tamia, I'm sorry and I love you. Please call me..........”

  Two days later...

  “Tamia...... (sigh) call me.........”

  Yesterday...

  “Happy Birthday Tamia. I know I'm the last person you want to hear from. Baby please call me. I'm worried about you, we need to talk. Love you.....”

  “Yeah Happy Birthday to me.” I say to myself putting my phone away after listening to all the messages.

  The day I left Kellen on the plane, I hailed a cab back to my parent's house, and I've been staying here for the past couple of days. Today I'm packing up my stuff and heading back to East Florida. Thanksgiving break was officially over, and I've already missed two days of school. So that I wouldn't fall too far behind, I made sure to contact all my professors, and get all my assignments.

  I head downstairs and find my mom in the kitchen. “Well my cab should be here in a few minutes. Where's dad?”

  “He's taking a nap. Are you sure you don't want me to take you to the airport? I don't mind.”

  “No mom, but I do appreciate everything you and dad has done for me the last couple of days.”

  “Well that's what parents do.” She replies, then pauses.

  “What?” I ask hesitantly.

  “What are you going to do about Kellen? Have you talked to him?”

  “Mom, do we really have to talk about this right now?”

  “Tamia.” My mom says calmly. “You can't keep running away from the situation. Talk to him and find out what's going on. I believe Kellen is a nice young man and I know he really cares about you. I just find it hard that he would drop everything to come here to be with you, just to leave you for someone else. Talk to him.”

  “What if there is something going on between them? I'm afraid of the answer, plus I've never been in this situation before.”

  “That's why you have to talk to him.”

  (Ding Dong)

  “That must be your cab. Think about what I said Tamia.” Then she hugs me.

  “Yes ma'am. I'll think about it.”

  “You have a safe trip and call me when you get back. We'll see you soon.”

  “Bye mom. Love you.”

  “Love you too Tamia.”

  ~ ~ ~

  When my plane lands, I wait until the pilot gives all passengers permission to use all electronic devices, then I pull my phone out and text Katie:

  Tamia: Plane just landed. Are you here?

  Two seconds later...

  Katie: Yes, waiting outside your gate. Can't wait to see you!

  I smile and put away my phone. I wait until some of the passengers clear the plane, then I stand and grab my carry-on bag and make my exit. When I step foot in the airport, I spot Katie immediately and wave. She runs in my direction and embraces me in a hug.

  “I'm so glad that you're back.”

  “I missed you too Katie.” I laugh. Then she pulls away.

  “Let’s get your bags and let's go home.”

  We walk to the baggage claim area and grab my bags. Next we walk to the parking deck and load my bags into Katie's Audi, then we're on the road.

  “So does Kellen know that I'm back in town?” I ask Katie.

  “Nope.” She responds shaking her head. “Tasha is the only one that knows.”

  “Thank you for not tell him.” I say relieved.

  “Well just to let you know, he's been a mess since you left. You really need to talk to him. He already told me what happened and trust me, he and Ashley have been over. The bitch is trying to start something.”

  I turn and look out the window. “I know we need to talk, I just needed some time to think.”

  “I know Tamia. Just know that Kellen really cares about you. I know he's my brother and can be an ass at times, but I would hate to see you guys end things over some stupid shit that he had no control of.”

  I don't respond, but continue to look out my window. She drives and I ride the rest of the way home in silence.

  ~ ~ ~

  “Okay, I need to run to the library for a couple of hours to finish this lame ass paper. Do you need anything?” Katie asks.

  “No, I think I'm going to take a nap. Thanks again for picking me up from the airport.”

  “No problem.” She says opening the door. “And Tamia.”

  “What's up?”

  “Happy belated birthday.” She says with a smile and leaves.

  I grab my bags and head to my room. When I open the door I see a big balloon that says Happy Birthday on it and gifts on my bed.

  Smiling I walk over and the first present I see is a gift bag from Jay. I take out the tissue paper and reach in and pull out a book called “The Art of Karma Sutra,” and all I can do is laugh. I put my book back in the bag and reach for the next one, and it's an envelope that says it's from Katie. I open it and find a $100 gift card from Victoria Secret. “She would get me something like this.” I say laughing to myself. I put the gift card inside the gift bag Jay gave me, and reach for the last present I see on my bed and it's from Tasha. It's a box wrapped in pink paper. I quickly tear the paper away and open the box to find a bottle of wine and a box of condoms. I begin to laugh so hard. “Priceless Tasha, just priceless.” I say gathering all my gifts, then I sit them on my desk. I turn my attention back to my bed, looking to make sure I didn't overlook a gift from Kellen, but nothing else is there.

  I walk into my bathroom and undress and get in the shower. Then the tears begin. Why are you crying Tamia? You're the one who wouldn't return his calls. I think to myself. I duck my head under the shower spray and wash my tears away then I begin to wash my hair and body. I stand in the shower for several minutes until my fingers start to look like raisins.

  After towel drying my hair and body, I stand and look at myself in the mirror and I look exhausted. My eyes are red and puffy from all the crying that I've been doing. I wrap my towel around my body and walk back into my room. I put on a long East Florida T shirt and a pair of panties. I quickly lotion my body and hop into bed and I stare at the empty pillow beside me until I fall asleep.

  ~ ~ ~

  I slowly open my eyes not knowing how long I've been asleep. I sit up to check the time, but a small box with a red bow laying on the pillow next to me catches my attention. Curious, I pick up the box and stare down at it. The tag on the box says it's to me from Kellen. I slowly remove the bow and open the box and see a handwritten note inside that says:

  Happy Birthday Tamia. I hope you love your gift. If you don't I will return it. I just know that when I saw it, I wanted you to have it.

  Love,

  Kellen

  I remove the note and frown because there's nothing inside the box.

  “I'm sorry I didn't leave a gift like everyone else, but I wanted to deliver it personally myself.

  At the sound of his voice, I turn around so fast and find him sitting in my desk chair.

  “Kellen?”

  ~ ~ ~

  Kellen

  As soon as I receive the text message from my sister, letting me know that Tamia was back in town and at the apartment alone, I took that as my opportunity to put my plan in motion.

  When I get to their apartment, I fi
nd Tamia fast asleep in her bed. Without her knowing I get in beside her, and watched her sleep. She was just as beautiful as the last time I saw her, minus the tears. Not being able to help myself I trace my finger down her cheek, then I plant a kiss to her lips, then I get up without waking her and place a small box on the empty pillow beside her. I make my way around her bed and take a seat at her desk and wait until she wakes up.

  Minutes later, I'm watching her sleeping form, then I see her start to move around. She begins to sit up, but stops when she sees the gift box laying on the pillow. I watch quietly as she examines the box. After a moment, she opens the box and sees the note I left inside and begins reading it. After she realizes that there's nothing in the box, I take that moment and make my presence known by speaking to her, and after I'm done, the way she said my name makes me think that there was a chance for our relationship.

  I stand and walk towards her and I take a seat on her bed facing her. She's looking at me with a shocked look on her face and all I wanted to do at that moment was kiss her.

  “Happy belated birthday Tamia.” I say giving her a rectangular box.

  “Kellen, how did you...?”

  “Tamia, please open your gift.” I interrupt.

  She looks down at the box sitting on her lap, and begins to open it slowly. When she sees what's inside, she quickly covers her mouth with her hand.

  “Kellen it's beautiful.” She says staring down at her charm bracelet.

  I reach and pull the charm bracelet out the box showing it to her.

  “I hope you like it. I asked them to add some charms to it. This one.” I say pointing to the charm of a key. “Represents the time you couldn't find your keys.” I laugh. “And the statue of liberty charm. If you'll let me I would love to take you to New York one day.” I say staring into her tear filled eyes. “The last one is a heart. It represents my heart Tamia. I love you.” I say wiping away her tears. “Ashley is my past. The picture you saw on my phone was taken a long time ago. I just hate that you had to see it. I know that I cheated on her with you, but you have to believe me when I say I would never do that to you. I've asked Ashley not to contact me no more, and that we'll never get back together. I think she has it in her mind that I would step out on my 'virgin girlfriend' but what she doesn't know is that I've already had you and I can't get enough of you Tamia. I lean forward and press my forehead to hers. “Baby please don't give up on us.”

  ~ ~ ~

  Tamia

  I close my eyes and continue to let my tears fall.

  “Kellen, I...”

  Before I can finish he grabs the back of my head and smashes his lips to mine and begins to kiss me hard but lovingly like this was our last kiss. He took all he could get from me and poured every emotion he was feeling into it. He pulls his lips away and is breathing hard. He wipes my tears away again, and kissed me softly.

  “I know you need time Tamia, but I had to come by and see you. Please think about what I said.”

  I nod my head yes and watch him stand to his feet and he begins walking backwards away from me, but keeping his attention on me.

  “I'm going to give you all the time you need Tamia. You know where to find me when you're ready to talk.” I watch as he turns around and makes his way to my door. Then he's gone, leaving me to my thoughts.

  ~ ~ ~

  Tamia

  Two hours later, I'm banging on the Katie's door.

  “Katie! Please open the door. I need to borrow your...”

  The door opens before I can finish.

  “Jay?” I say surprised.

  “Shhh.” He says walking out of Katie's room in just his boxers. “She's sleeping. What do you want Tamia?” He whispers.

  “I need to borrow Katie's car.” I respond.

  “Shit Tamia! Do you know how late it is?”

  “I know. I'm sorry, but I have to see Kellen.”

  “Shit! Wait right here.” He disappears back into her room then returns.

  “Here take mine.” He says handing over his keys. ”Be careful.”

  “Thank you!” I say hugging him, then I quickly remember he's half naked.

  “You're welcome. Now go.”

  I leave Jay standing at Katie's door and I walk into the kitchen and open the drawer containing Katie's spare keys to Kellen's apartment. I grab them and head out the front door.

  ~ ~ ~

  Kellen

  After I left Tamia, I went straight home and did everything possible to get her off my mind from watching TV, cleaning, and now studying. Maybe I should have waited on her to contact me, because now that I saw her all I wanted to do was touch her, hold her, kiss her, and love her. Since I have an early class in the morning, I close my laptop and decide to call it a night. I strip down to my boxers, cut my lamp off and get into bed, and I grab my phone deciding to send Tamia a quick text:

  Kellen: You're probably asleep, but I wanted to say I love you and good night.

  I put my phone away and close my eyes and attempt to fall asleep. As soon as I do, I hear my front door to my apartment close. I quickly get out of bed and pull on a pair of sweat pants and I cautiously walk to the front. As soon as I turn the corner leading me into the kitchen. I see her.

  “What the fuck are you doing in my apartment Ashley?”

  “Well hello to you too Kellen.” She says with a smile. “Remember, the next time when you ever allow someone to live with you and things don't work out, make sure you ask for the keys back or change the locks.”

  “Fuck!” I say to myself running my hands down my face. “You didn't answer my question Ashley.” I say through gritted teeth. “What are you doing here?”

  “We need to talk.” She responds.

  “Is it that important that you couldn't wait until tomorrow? It's late Ashley!”

  She just stands there with her arms folded across her chest looking at me.

  “Look Ashley, if you have nothing to say, I'm going to have to ask you to...”

  “I'm pregnant Kellen.”

  “You're what!”

  “I'm pregnant.” She says in a calm voice.

  “How is that possible when we used condoms every time?”

  “Well Kellen condoms can break.”

  “What about the guy you cheated on me with?” I question.

  “We used condoms also, and it's a possibility. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow to find out how far along I am, and that will help me determine if it's yours or his.”

  I sit down at the table in my kitchen trying to process all this information. After everything Tamia and I have been through, it's a possibility I may be a father.

  “Kellen I know we're not together, but if it's yours...”

  “If what's yours?”

  I turn my head in the direction of the voice and find Tamia standing in the doorway of my kitchen.

  “What is she doing here Kellen?”

  “Tamia baby, I can explain.” I say standing to my feet.

  “Hey Tamia.” Ashley interrupts. “I guess it's only fair that you know what's going on since you are his girlfriend.”

  I reach my hand out to touch Tamia, but she pulls away from me. “What is she talking about Kellen?”

  “Tamia, come here.” I say in a pleading voice. “It's not important right now. Ashley was just leaving.” I say walking to her.

  “Kellen are you kidding me? So you don't think it's important that she knows that you're going to be a father!”

  ~ ~ ~

  Tamia

  A father?

  This can't be happening. I start to feel dizzy, and in the back of my mind I'm hoping that everything that was going on was a dream.

  “Tamia.” I hear Kellen say my name. I guess I'm not dreaming.

  I turn my attention from Ashley to him and I'm looking at his face to see if I can see any signs that would tell me that what Ashley revealed was a lie, but all I see is hurt in his eyes.

  “You're pregnant?” I finally get out, looking in Ashley
's direction again.