Wanting You

by Danyell Wallace

  “Yes I am, and Kellen is the father.”

  Before I knew it Kellen is standing in front of me and blocking my view from Ashley.

  “Baby. Listen to me...”

  Without a second thought I slap Kellen so hard across the face. I shake my hand trying to relieve the sting I feel from hitting him. He's staring at me now, while holding the side of his face not expecting what I just did.

  “We're done!” I say through gritted teeth.

  I storm out the kitchen and out the front door. I can hear Kellen yelling my name, but I ignore him and start to run until I reach Jay's Range Rover. I get in and start it up and I put it in reverse. I look in my rear view mirror and see Kellen coming in my direction. I put the car in drive, then press on the gas pedal hard. My vision is blurring due to my tears, and I'm so distraught that I don't notice the stop sign ahead of me, until it's too late. I feel the impact before I can register what's going on. The Range Rover spins several times before it comes to a complete stop.

  “TAMIA!” I hear Kellen yelling my name, and that's the last thing I hear before I see nothing but darkness.

  Chapter 13

  Please Be Okay

  Kellen

  “Somebody call an ambulance!” I yell as loud as I can. “Tamia, can you hear me?” I scream while banging on the driver side door. I try opening the door but its jammed shut from the impact caused from the other vehicle. I peer through the cracked window and see Tamia knocked out. “Tamia!” I yell again.

  “Kellen! What’s going on?” I hear someone yell.

  I turn around and see Tyson running in my direction. “Call an ambulance!” I shout at him.

  Without a word, Tyson turns around and starts jogging back to his apartment.

  I turn my attention to the other vehicle and see the driver being tended to by others standing around. The driver seemed fine, but a little shaken up. I jog around to the passenger side and try opening the door, but it’s locked. “Shit!” I scream in frustration.

  “Kellen an ambulance is on the way. Here let me help you. I grabbed my bat on the way out.”

  I stepped away and watched Tyson take several swings at the passenger window until he breaks it. As soon as he steps away, I rush over and reach inside to unlock the door. I swing it open and quickly get in to check on Tamia.

  “Whatever you do Kellen, don’t move her. We don’t know if she has any broken bones.” I hear Tyson say behind me.

  I gently touch Tamia’s face and whisper her name. I lean forward and gently kiss her lips. “I’m so sorry baby. Please wake up.” I examine her face and see a small cut above her left eyebrow, and a bump on her forehead. I hear sirens in the background getting closer. The inside of the car turns red, caused by the flashing red lights, signaling to me that help was finally here.

  “Sir, I have to ask you to get out so we can check on her.”

  I turn around and see a firefighter. I get out and begin pacing back and forth while watching the EMTs, and firefighters tend to Tamia.

  “Man I’m sure she will be alright.” I hear Tyson say next to me.

  “She has to be.” I stop pacing. “This shit is all my fault.”

  We both stand there watching the police, EMTs, and firefighters around us.

  “Kellen!”

  I turn around and see Ashley standing several steps away. The sight of her brought back all anger that I was feeling from when she showed up at my apartment unannounced tonight. I take several steps towards her, but I’m held back by Tyson.

  “Get the fuck out of here Ashley! Haven’t you done enough tonight?”

  “Kellen, calm down man.” I hear Tyson behind me.

  I’m staring Ashley down, and she’s showing no signs of emotion. With one final look at me, she turns around and walks away. Tyson releases his hold on me and we both turn our attention back to where Tamia is. Two EMTs are rolling over a stretcher, while three others gently remove Tamia from the front seat. I attempted to run over and see her, but I’m stopped by a cop.

  “That’s my girlfriend!”

  “I understand sir, but please allow them to get her secured on the stretcher and into the ambulance. You’re more than welcome to follow behind them. I’m sorry but its policy.”

  I nod my head letting him know I understood, and I watch as they strap Tamia to the stretcher.

  “Miss can you hear me?” I hear the EMT ask her. “If you can, squeeze my hand. Okay that’s good. Now what’s your name?”

  I’m listening to all that’s going on. She’s awake, I think to myself.

  “Okay Tamia.” The EMT continues. “We’re taking you to the hospital to make sure you’re alright.”

  I push my way pass the cop making my way to Tamia, but I’m halted when he grabs my arm. “Sir I told you that you can follow.” I snatch my arm out his grasp.

  “Kellen come on. I’ll take you.” Tyson says.

  I stand there watching them load Tamia into the ambulance. As soon as they close the doors, Tyson and I make our way to his BMW. We hop in and follow the ambulance.

  ~ ~ ~

  When we get to the hospital, we’re asked to wait in the waiting room. I take that time and text my sister, Tasha and Jay. I knew I should call her parents, but at this moment, I didn’t have a clue to what I would say. I close my eyes and lean forward in my chair. Resting my elbows on my knees, I put my face in my hands and wait. Several minutes later I feel someone brushing their fingers through my hair. I look up and see Katie.

  “Kellen I’m so sorry.” She says kneeling down in front of me and embraces me in a hug. I return the hug, holding her tight. “Do you want to talk about it?” She asks.

  “I’ve really fucked up this time Katie.”

  Katie pulls away and looks me in the eyes. “What happened?”

  “Fuck.” I whisper coming to my feet.

  “Kellen you’re scaring me. Tell me what’s going on!”

  “Ashley is pregnant!”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I guess! She came by the apartment tonight saying she needs to talk to me, then she tells me that she’s pregnant. Tamia shows up and.” I pause for a few moments. “Ashley tells her that she’s pregnant and that I’m the father.”

  “Kellen please tell me that you’re kidding.”

  “I wish I could.” I say staring at my sister. “Tamia didn’t allow me to explain myself. Instead she ran out on me. I tried to stop her but it was too late.”

  “The car accident.” Katie says taking a seat.

  I watch as the color drains from my sister’s face.

  “Kellen do you realize that Tamia could have been seriously hurt?”

  “I know.” I say looking away.

  “Parking is ridiculous.” Jay says coming into the waiting room. “Here are your keys Katie. How’s Tamia doing?”

  “We’re still waiting to hear from the doctor.” Katie responds “Have you talked to Tasha?”

  “No, I sent her a text before coming in. So what happened?”

  “I’ll tell you about it later.” Katie says coming to her feet and gives Jay a hug.

  “Excuse me. I’m looking for the party here for Miss Smith?”

  “That would be us.” I say walking in the doctor’s direction. “How is she?”

  “Tamia is fine, but we’re going to keep her overnight. She hit her head pretty hard so we’ll monitor her and make sure she’s not suffering from a concussion. She has a few scratches but other than that she will be fine.

  “Can we see her?” Katie asks beside me.

  “Well that would depend. May I ask which one of you is Kellen?”

  “That would be me.” I speak up.

  “Well Kellen, Tamia has requested not to see you.”

  “She just needs to let me explain what happened. What room is she in?”

  “Kellen I’m sorry but my patients are my top priority. She says she doesn’t want to see you.”

  I’m looking at the doctor feeling like I’m about to l
ose control. I ball my fists up, wanting to hit something.

  “I know this is tough.” The doctor continues. “Go home and get some rest. She’ll be fine. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to check on other patients.”

  I close my eyes trying to calm myself.

  “Come on Kellen. There’s nothing else you can do. Is Tyson still here or do you need a ride?” Katie asks.

  “He dropped me off. I told him I would find a way home.”

  “Okay, well Jay and I can take you home. Come on.” Katie says tugging on my arm. “I’ll come by first thing in the morning to check on her.”

  That night I left the hospital feeling useless and empty inside. Useless because I couldn’t’ do anything about the situation I put Tamia in, and empty because the one that I loved was laying in a hospital bed, not wanting anything to do with me.

  ~ ~ ~

  The next day I wake up to the sound of Katie’s voice.

  “Kellen wake up! She’s leaving!”

  I sit up, trying to comprehend what she was saying. After Jay dropped me off last night, I found myself taking shots of tequila until I passed out. Squinting my eyes I look at my sister. “Who’s leaving?” I mumble.

  “Tamia!”

  “What do you mean?” I look at her confused.

  “Her parents came by our apartment this morning and packed up some of her things. Kellen I don’t know what’s going on, but I don’t think she’s coming back!”

  “Okay Katie slow down. Tell me what happened.”

  “Well they came by early this morning to get some of her things. They said they flew in late last night, and they were taking Tamia back to Georgia, so she could recuperate from the accident. They are flying out first thing tomorrow morning, and they’re staying at the Sullivan Hotel tonight, just in case we want to come by to check on her before they fly out.

  “Shit!” I say getting out of bed. “What time is it?”

  “5:30pm.”

  “And you’re just now telling me this?” I shout.

  “I tried calling you several times today. Don’t get pissed with me! I didn’t have to come all the way over here to tell you this. Remember you’re the one who fucked up! Not me!”

  “You’re right, and I’m sorry.” I say looking at my sister. “Do you know what room she’s in at the hotel?”

  “Yeah, but I’m not letting you leave here looking like this.” She says looking me up and down. “You look like shit!”

  “I feel like it.” I say running my hands through my hair. “I’m going to shower and head over to the hotel.”

  “What if she refuses to see you, like last night?”

  “I don’t know. I’ll have to keep trying until she hears what I have to say. I’m not going to allow her to give up on us, especially when we don’t know if Ashley is really pregnant, or if it’s mine. I’m not giving up. I love her too damn much.”

  ~ ~ ~

  Tamia

  “No mom I’m fine, you don’t have to check on me. I’m right next door to you guys. If I need you I’ll come knocking I promise.”

  (Knock Knock)

  “Hold on mom, someone’s knocking on my door. I think its room service bringing me my soup.” I walk over to the door and open it, not even looking to see who it was. I turn my back and walk further into my room, and I continue my conversation with my mom.

  “What time are we meeting downstairs tomorrow morning?” I ask my mom. I hear the door to my hotel room shut and I finally turn around to give my attention to who I thought was the hotel’s room service attendant, to find Kellen standing there. “Mom. I have to go. No everything is fine. I’m going to eat and take my medicine and head to bed. Love you too mom. Goodnight.” Then I end the call with my mom, and bring my attention to Kellen. “How did you know I was staying here?”

  “Your mom.” He responds. “She told Katie you were staying here this morning when she and your dad went to your apartment to grab a couple of your things.”

  “I should have known she would tell Katie. I’m sorry you drove all this way to see me, but I want you to leave Kellen. I have nothing to say to you.”

  I walk passed him and make my way to the door. I open it, waiting on him to get the clue that I didn’t want him here. He walks in my direction, but instead of going out the door, he closes the door while my hand is still on the knob. He moves closer to me until my back is pressed against the door. He lowers his head until I can feel his lips touch my ear.

  “I’m not going anywhere until you hear what I have to say Tamia.”

  “I can care less to what you have to say.”

  “Damn it Tamia!” He says his hitting his palm against the door. “Baby please just listen to what I have to say. After you do, and you still want me to leave, I will.”

  “Okay.” I whisper in response.

  He steps away, giving me some space. I take that opportunity and I walk around him until I’m standing in the middle of the room, looking at him, and waiting to hear what he has to say.

  He’s staring at me, contemplating on where to begin, and I can see nothing but hurt and love in his eyes. He was hurting also, and that was one of the reasons why I wanted to avoid this conversation, because I knew he wasn’t giving up on us. All I wanted to do was run from the situation, because I didn’t want to continue to feel the hurt and pain, and it was already hard enough that I still loved him. We stand there in several minutes of silence, just looking at each other.

  “I didn’t tell my parents about Ashley.” I say breaking the silence. The look of confusion on his face, encourages me to continue. “I told them, that I was being really careless that night. That I left your apartment late, feeling really tired, being the reason to why I ran the stop sign that caused the accident.”

  “Tamia.”

  “I just couldn’t tell them Kellen.” I say feeling a tear slide down my cheek. “I just couldn’t do it. I mean my dad just had that heart attack, and I didn’t want to put him through that stress.” I say wiping away a tear.

  Kellen steps away from the door and walks in my direction, until he’s standing in front of me. He hesitantly grabs my face with both of his hands and is staring down at me.

  “Tamia, I’m sorry.”

  “I am too. It’s probably best that we say goodbye now. With Ashley being pregnant, she’s going to need you.”

  “Tamia don’t do this. You’ve got to listen to me.” He says bringing me closer. “If Ashley is in fact pregnant, it’s a possibility it could be someone else’s.”

  “What?” I say confused.

  “The night you showed up at my apartment, Ashley had a set of keys that she never returned. She showed up unannounced, and told me she was pregnant and that it’s a possibility that the dad could be a guy she cheated on me with. She failed to share that info with you, but by the time I tried to explain, you were already out the door.”

  Shocked, I gently remove Kellen’s hands from my face and I take a seat on the bed. Kellen kneels in front of me and grabs my hands, then he continues.

  “Tamia, I’m still trying to wrap my thoughts of possibly being a father. I promise to you that Ashley and I were always careful and used condoms. I understand condoms break but please believe me that I’ve never had unprotected sex with anyone, except with you. I know when we did, it wasn’t the smartest decision we made, but you’re the only one.”

  “I believe you.” I respond.

  Kellen gets on his knees, and wraps his arms around my waist bringing my body closer to his.

  “If Ashley is pregnant, and it’s mine. I’m going to take responsibility and take care of my child, and I want you by my side. Ashley being pregnant doesn’t change the way I feel about you Tamia. I know there’s a lot going on and it seems like things keep popping up, that prevent us from being together. I’m asking you, and I hope this is the last time, but please don’t give up on us. I need you.”

  “I need you too.”

  Kellen leans forward and tenderly kisses my l
ips.

  “How does your head feel?”

  “Sore, but I’m fine.” I say pulling his head towards me until our lips touch again. I suck his bottom lip into my mouth, then I do the same to his top. I kiss him slowly allowing my tongue to explore every inch of his mouth. I was so addicted to his taste. He moans into my mouth, and I kiss him harder.

  (Knock Knock) “Room service!”