Back to Me

by Earl Sewell

  The car came to a halt, and the passenger door swung open. I was in total shock when I saw my mom step out of the truck. I rushed toward her, happy to see that she was okay. I wrapped my arms around her, not caring about the stench of cigar smoke that had saturated her clothing. I stepped out of our embrace to look at her once more. She was wearing a burgundy top with white capri pants that were see-through. I could see the pink-and-white-striped underwear she had on. It was without question a major fashion mistake, even I knew, but my mother probably thought it made her look sexy.

  “It’s so good to see you, Mom. I’ve missed you,” I admitted, embracing her again and holding on to her even tighter.

  “I’ve missed you, Vivi,” my mother said, calling me by the nickname she’d given me.

  Not wanting to let go of her, I said, “I want to go with you.”

  Ignoring my comment, she said, “Look at you, Viviana, living all fancy with your cousins.” She admired Aunt Raven’s house as if she were visiting for the first time.

  “Will we ever get a house like this?” I asked, hoping she’d somehow been able to do better.

  “Someday, baby. You, me and Martin will be a happy family, living in a big, fancy house. One even better than this one,” she said, detaching herself from my embrace as she continued looking around the property.

  “Well, for your sake, I would hope that someday is pretty soon.” Aunt Raven gave my mom a brief hug.

  “Do you have anything to eat? Martin and I are starving,” my mother said.

  “Martin? Who is Martin?” asked Aunt Raven.

  “The love of my life.” My mom turned back to the truck and waved for Martin to step out.

  “How is everybody doing?” Martin asked as he got out of the truck. As he walked around to where we were, he had to jack his pants up in order to cover his butt crack.

  “Ew-wee,” I mumbled as he approached.

  My mom introduced them. “Raven, this is Martin. Martin, this is my sister, Raven.”

  “Nice to meet you.” Aunt Raven greeted him with a handshake.

  I glanced at Martin, noticing his bad eye, and had to immediately look away out of fear I’d go cross-eyed if I stared at him too long.

  “Is it all right if I leave the truck parked right here?” Martin asked.

  “Sure. It’s not a problem,” Aunt Raven answered.

  “So, are you going to invite us in?” my mom asked.

  “Yeah, sure. We were just finishing breakfast,” Aunt Raven said. As we walked back toward the house, Martin noticed the gas barbecue grill.

  “See, baby. That’s the kind of grill I want to get once we find a place to settle down. You know how important my food is to me, and I’ll barbecue at the drop of a hat,” Martin said jokingly.

  “I can’t wait for that day, baby,” said my mom. The fact that she was still with Martin made my stomach flip.

  When we walked back inside, Maya and Anna had cleared the table and placed the dishes in the dishwasher. I assumed they had gone back to their rooms and didn’t realize that my mom and Martin had arrived. We made our way to the family room.

  “This is a real nice place you’ve got here,” Martin said, admiring the decor.

  “Thank you. Why don’t you have a seat?” Aunt Raven said as she grabbed the remote control for the television. She turned it on for him and quickly showed him how to change the channels. “Would you like something to drink?” Aunt Raven offered.

  “A beer would be great,” said Martin as he got immediately comfortable.

  “It’s still very early in the morning, and you’re driving,” Aunt Raven pointed out. I guess she thought it would make a difference to Martin.

  “Honey, I can drink tequila and ride a motorcycle backward with my eyes closed. A beer isn’t going to do much to me.”

  I could tell by the way Aunt Raven threaded her eyebrows together that she didn’t like what he’d just said. “I’m sorry. I don’t have any beer or tequila.”

  “Don’t worry about it, baby. I’m sure I’ll find something for you. My sister always keeps something around the house,” said my mom, who was once again bending over backward to accommodate this jerk’s every wish.

  “Salena, we need to talk,” I heard Aunt Raven say.

  “Yes, we do,” my mother agreed, as if nothing about the situation seemed awkward. We went back upstairs and into the kitchen. I sat back down at the table with my mother and Aunt Raven.

  “Isn’t Martin wonderful?” my mom asked, glowing as if she were truly in love.

  “I don’t know. I haven’t really gotten to know the man, but first impressions make me think he has an alcoholism issue.”

  “There you go already, Raven. You’re about to start with the crap!” My mom had gotten offended.

  “What? I’ve never been around the type of man who drinks tequila and rides a motorcycle backward. Is he a stuntman or something?” asked Aunt Raven.

  “He’s a good man, and that’s all that matters,” my mother replied, defending her relationship with Martin.

  “Mom, where have you been?” I asked.

  “Yes. Why did you abandon your daughter?” Aunt Raven added.

  “What the hell are you talking about, Raven? I didn’t abandon her. I left her with Mom.”

  “You know our mother has health issues and can’t take care of Viviana.” I could tell by the pitch of Aunt Raven’s voice that she was getting irritated.

  “Don’t let that old woman fool you. She’s not as sickly as she pretends to be. I know that for a fact,” said my mom. “Besides, I’m back for her now.”

  “Really? Do you have a place for us to live?” I asked, even though the thought of Martin living with us was creepy.

  “Well, not exactly. Martin wants to drive back to his hometown in Louisiana. He said that we can get a mobile home at a really reasonable price. Once he finds work, that’s where we’ll live,” she said.

  “Where will you stay until he finds a job?” Aunt Raven asked.

  “We’ll stay at a hotel or sleep in the truck.” My mom spoke as if nothing was abnormal about that.

  My aunt raised her voice disapprovingly. “How are the three of you going to sleep in a pickup truck?”

  “Oh, it’s not so bad. We’ll just treat it like we’re on a camping trip,” said my mom.

  “Have you lost your mind?” Aunt Raven shrieked.

  “Hey! I’m doing the best that I can, okay!” my mom yelled.

  “Maybe it won’t be that bad,” I said, trying to show support for my mom, but in my heart I knew I could not make it sleeping in a pickup truck. I’m a tough Latina, but not that resilient.

  “My God, Salena. I swear, sometimes I have a hard time believing you’re my sister,” said Aunt Raven as she combed her fingers through her hair.

  “Everyone isn’t perfect like you, Raven. Mom and Dad loved you more. I never got all the things or the attention you got. You could never do wrong in their eyes!”

  “Why are you bringing up something that doesn’t even matter in this situation? I’m talking about providing a stable home for your daughter, and you’re bringing up crap from thirty years ago,” Aunt Raven snapped.

  “Because it is important, and you know it. Had I gotten just a little bit of the encouragement that you received, I’d be a better woman today.”

  “No. You’re the woman you are today because of the choices you’ve made.” Aunt Raven’s words made perfect sense to me, but my mother just didn’t want to hear the naked truth. Instead she twisted it into something she could use.

  “Choices,” said my mom and then paused. “You’re right. We all have choices to make. If you think I’m such a horrible mother, what choice are you going to make to fix or help me change my situation?”

  Exhalin
g loudly, Aunt Raven said, “Look, maybe I can talk to Herman, and you and Viviana could stay with us until you’re able to find a job and get on your feet, but I know Herman isn’t going to let Martin live here. I wouldn’t dare ask him to agree to that.”

  “Yeah, Mom, I like that idea,” I chimed in, agreeing with the solution Aunt Raven was offering.

  “Hell no!” My mother flat out refused the offer. “I wouldn’t go back to living under the same roof with you if I were blind, crippled and crazy.”

  “You can’t live out of a damn pickup truck, Salena!” Aunt Raven barked.

  “You can’t tell me what I can and can’t do! See, that’s your freaking problem, Raven. You’re too damn bossy.”

  Aunt Raven tossed her hands up. “I’m done. Talking common sense to you is pointless.”

  “So, you don’t want me living in the pickup truck, right?” my mother asked.

  “No,” answered Aunt Raven as she removed a glass from the cupboard. She filled it with crushed ice from the refrigerator, then with water. “Your lifestyle isn’t of concern to me. I am worried about Viviana, though.”

  “Okay, then help me out, for Viviana’s sake,” my mom said.

  “I’m trying to. Lord knows that I am,” answered Aunt Raven.

  “Help me out by giving me a loan,” my mother said.

  “You still owe me two thousand dollars, Salena. I’m not giving you any more money,” Aunt Raven said.

  “That’s not a lot of money for you.” My mother didn’t give much weight to being in debt to her sister.

  Aunt Raven took a drink of water and then just stared into her glass. There was a long moment of silence.

  “Get your things, Viviana. We’re not welcome here,” said my mother.

  “Viviana isn’t going anywhere. And for the record, I never said that she wasn’t welcome here,” Aunt Raven said.

  “No. Viviana is coming with me and Martin to Louisiana,” my mother insisted.

  “Viviana needs to go to school,” Aunt Raven said. “And she can’t do that with a registered address being a pickup truck.”

  “She can worry about school later,” said my mom.

  “Salena, do you even understand what you’re saying?” asked Aunt Raven.

  “What? Are you trying to say that I don’t take good care of her?” My mother growled her words like a lion.

  “No, you don’t. You’ve moved around so much that Viviana hasn’t earned enough credits to move into her senior year of high school. If you keep moving around like this, she’s going to end up being kicked out of high school because she’ll age out of the system. A seventeen-year-old sophomore isn’t acceptable. She needs stability. She needs a place to call home.”

  “If she gets kicked out, she can take the GED test. It’s not a big deal.” My mother pointed her index finger at Aunt Raven.

  “Don’t put your finger in my face,” Aunt Raven warned her.

  There was another moment of silence. Finally, Aunt Raven spoke. “Viviana, you should go upstairs.”

  “Why?” I asked, not wanting to leave. I looked at my mother to see if I should excuse myself or stay put.

  “Run along, Viviana,” my mom said. “Raven and I need to work this out.”

  “You’re not going to get into a fistfight, are you?” I asked.

  “No,” they both said simultaneously.

  “Okay, I just wanted to make sure,” I said, getting up from the table. As I made my way back upstairs, I saw Aunt Raven pick up her cell phone. I paused for a moment to see who she was calling. I eavesdropped on the conversation.

  “Hello, Mom. It’s me, Raven. Salena has surfaced,” I heard her say.

  Two

  MAYA

  After watching Viviana rush out of the house like a two-year-old having a temper tantrum, I went up to my bedroom. I couldn’t believe she had missed most of her junior year of high school and had to repeat it. I know it wasn’t totally her fault, but it still didn’t stop me from thinking she wasn’t all that bright of a student. I also wasn’t feeling the idea of my mom wanting to let her stay. I wanted Viviana to leave. The longer she stayed around, the more I got a bad feeling something crazy was going to jump off.

  I closed my door and grabbed my cell phone from the nightstand, where it was recharging. I saw that I’d received several text messages, and hoped at least one of them was from Misalo. When I checked, I found that there were several photos of shirtless male friends I knew. I shouldn’t really call them friends, since they were just guys from the neighborhood that both Misalo and I hung out with. One shirtless photo had a message that read, Maya, I didn’t know you were so freaky. Heard you broke up with Misalo. Hit me back, Bobby.

  There was also a photo of Hector, wearing only his boxer shorts. In the photo he was trying to flex his scrawny biceps muscle, which had a tattoo of a skull. His message read, I can give you all of this and a lot more. Misalo was stupid for letting a super freak like you go. Come see what it feels like to be with a real man, baby. The final one was from a boy named Bailey, who was on the soccer team with Misalo. He forwarded a photo of his pierced tongue. His message read, I have front row tickets to the Lil Wayne concert. What are you willing to do for them? Frustrated and ticked off that they were doing this, I shot them all text messages back that read, Oh, hell to the no! I wouldn’t date you if you were the last idiot on the planet! Now leave me alone!

  I heard a knock at my door. “Go away!” I said. Whoever was there clearly didn’t understand English, because I saw the door creep open. “Hey, I said get the hell—” I didn’t finish, because I saw that it was my best friend, Keysha. She was wearing blue jean shorts, a white tank top and some cute sandals. She also had a cute pink scarf covering her damp hair. Keysha worked part-time as a lifeguard at the pool, and liked to cover her hair at the end of her shift.

  “I didn’t tell you to enter,” I said condescendingly.

  “Whoa, where is this hostility coming from? I came over here to see how you were doing,” Keysha said defensively.

  “I’m sorry,” I apologized. “I’m just in a really funky mood.”

  Keysha came in and closed the door. “I think your mom is talking to her sister. And did you know that Viviana is blocking the steps, looking like she has to send a late text to her boyfriend?” she asked.

  “Huh?” I was completely confused by what Keysha was saying.

  Chuckling, Keysha said, “It’s something I overheard. Some guys were at the pool, boasting about how many girls they’d slept with. One of them said, ‘I love having sex, so I use latex so that my girl won’t send me a late text.’ It was the dumbest thing I’d ever heard, but Viviana has a look on her face like she needs to send a late text.”

  “Please! That chick couldn’t get the ugliest boy on the planet to even look in her direction. Her attitude is nastier than a baboon’s behind.”

  “Wow,” Keysha said, surprised by my total dislike of Viviana.

  “I’ll run down and see my aunt Salena later,” I said as I sat down at the foot of my bed. I released a long, depressing sigh. Keysha came and sat next to me. She draped her arm around me and gave me a big hug. I leaned forward and placed my face in the palms of my hands. I gave myself permission to cry while Keysha rocked me.

  “Come on, girl. If you start crying, then I’ll start, too,” Keysha said.

  I got a lasso around my emotions before getting up to pull a few Kleenex tissues from a box on top of my dresser.

  “Have you heard from him?” Keysha asked.

  “No. He won’t return my phone calls,” I said.

  “Maybe he’ll answer if I call,” Keysha said.

  “Would you?” I asked, feeling as if Misalo might answer her phone call.

  “Yeah,” Keysha said. She removed her cell phone from her
pocket and called him. She then handed me the phone. After several rings, Misalo answered the phone.

  “Hey, honey,” I said as sweetly as I could.

  “Keysha? I know you’re not trying to hook up with me,” Misalo said.

  “This isn’t Keysha,” I said innocently. “It’s me, Maya. Can we talk?” I asked.

  “Maya, I’m not going to play these games with you. Obviously you’ve been secretly dealing with Carlo behind my back. I just wish you could have owned up to the fact that you wanted someone else. You didn’t have to string me along, as if we had something special that couldn’t be broken.”

  “We do have something special. This is all just a big misunderstanding, baby,” I said, hoping my honey-coated words would reach his heart.

  “Maya, you were slow dancing with another guy at a party. I’m done with you,” he said with absolute certainty.

  “But I’m not ready for you to be done with me,” I said, feeling my tears swell.

  “You should’ve thought about that before you started creeping with Carlo,” Misalo replied, raising his voice at me.

  Raising my voice back, I asked, “Will you at least give me a chance to explain my side of the story?”

  “Maya, I don’t…” He paused. “You know what? You’re not the woman I thought you were. Just stop bothering me,” he said and hung up. I felt as numb as a rock as I sat there with the phone to my ear, as if he would return and say he was sorry. I felt as if the world had stopped time. I couldn’t bring myself to believe that it was over between Misalo and me.

  “What did he say?” asked Keysha.

  “He hates me,” I whispered as more tears fell from my eyes.

  Keysha attempted to make me feel better. “He doesn’t hate you. Misalo loves you.”

  “I have to do something. I’m not going to let this happen,” I said, suddenly feeling angry.

  “What are you going to do?” Keysha asked.

  “I don’t know, but I’m not giving up. I’ll fight for him if I have to,” I said with absolute resolve.

  “Well, you know I’m here for you,” Keysha said, offering her support.