The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)
Page 179
A fearful imposition! Why, if we took
the twigs, bark and part of the timber from every tree,
even if we left its roots, chopped like that
the air would dry up the sap. Send letters to
every county that has resisted this tax
and say that I give a free pardon to every man
who has refused to pay it: please take care of it,
I'm leaving it to you.
CARDINAL WOLSEY
[To the Secretary]
A word with you.
Let there be letters writ to every shire,
Of the king's grace and pardon. The grieved commons
Hardly conceive of me; let it be noised
That through our intercession this revokement
And pardon comes: I shall anon advise you
Further in the proceeding.
Listen to me.
Write letters to every county,
telling them of the King's grace and pardon. The angry people
hardly know anything about me; put it about
that it was my intervention which caused this repeal
and pardon: I'll tell you soon what else
I want you to do.
Exit Secretary
Enter Surveyor
QUEEN KATHARINE
I am sorry that the Duke of Buckingham
Is run in your displeasure.
I am sorry that the Duke of Buckingham
has incurred your displeasure.
KING HENRY VIII
It grieves many:
The gentleman is learn'd, and a most rare speaker;
To nature none more bound; his training such,
That he may furnish and instruct great teachers,
And never seek for aid out of himself. Yet see,
When these so noble benefits shall prove
Not well disposed, the mind growing once corrupt,
They turn to vicious forms, ten times more ugly
Than ever they were fair. This man so complete,
Who was enroll'd 'mongst wonders, and when we,
Almost with ravish'd listening, could not find
His hour of speech a minute; he, my lady,
Hath into monstrous habits put the graces
That once were his, and is become as black
As if besmear'd in hell. Sit by us; you shall hear--
This was his gentleman in trust--of him
Things to strike honour sad. Bid him recount
The fore-recited practises; whereof
We cannot feel too little, hear too much.
Many are sorry for it:
the gentleman is learned, and a great speaker,
nobody is more naturally gifted; so much so
that he could educate great teachers,
and never need any help apart from himself: but look,
when these great virtues are not used
for good, wants the mind becomes corrupt,
they turn to evil purposes, ten times more ugly
than their original beauty. This man who was so complete,
who was thought of as a wonder–when I
listen to him, entranced, an hour of him speaking
seemed to be hardly a minute–he, my lady,
has used the gifts he once had
for monstrous purposes, and has become as evil
as if he was touched by hell. Sit next to me, you shall hear
from this gentleman who was his confidential servant things
which will make honour sad. Tell him to repeat
the matters he's spoken of, of which
we cannot hear enough, or feel too little.
CARDINAL WOLSEY
Stand forth, and with bold spirit relate what you,
Most like a careful subject, have collected
Out of the Duke of Buckingham.
Step forward, and fearlessly tell us what you
have, like a good subject, learned about
the Duke of Buckingham.
KING HENRY VIII
Speak freely.
Speak freely.
Surveyor
First, it was usual with him, every day
It would infect his speech, that if the king
Should without issue die, he'll carry it so
To make the sceptre his: these very words
I've heard him utter to his son-in-law,
Lord Abergavenny; to whom by oath he menaced
Revenge upon the cardinal.
Firstly, it was a usual thing with him,
he would say it every day, that if the King
died without an heir, he would seize
the kingship for himself: I've heard him say
these very words to his son-in-law,
Lord Abergavenny; he swore to him
that he would have revenge on the cardinal.
CARDINAL WOLSEY
Please your highness, note
This dangerous conception in this point.
Not friended by his wish, to your high person
His will is most malignant, and it stretches
Beyond you, to your friends.
Would your Highness please note
the dangerous thoughts expressed here.
Unsuccessful in his wishes against your Highness
his desires are most malignant, and they stretch
beyond you to attack your friends.
QUEEN KATHARINE
My learn'd lord cardinal,
Deliver all with charity.
My learned lord cardinal,
try to speak charitably.
KING HENRY VIII
Speak on:
How grounded he his title to the crown,
Upon our fail? to this point hast thou heard him
At any time speak aught?
Carry on:
how did he justify his claim to the throne,
if I had no heirs? Have you heard him say anything
about this?
Surveyor
He was brought to this
By a vain prophecy of Nicholas Hopkins.
He was encouraged to think of this
by an empty prophecy of Nicholas Hopkins.
KING HENRY VIII
What was that Hopkins?
Who is this Hopkins?
Surveyor
Sir, a Chartreux friar,
His confessor, who fed him every minute
With words of sovereignty.
Sir, a Carthusian friar,
his confessor, who at every minute encouraged him
to think he had a claim to the throne.
KING HENRY VIII
How know'st thou this?
How do you know this?
Surveyor
Not long before your highness sped to France,
The duke being at the Rose, within the parish
Saint Lawrence Poultney, did of me demand
What was the speech among the Londoners
Concerning the French journey: I replied,
Men fear'd the French would prove perfidious,
To the king's danger. Presently the duke
Said, 'twas the fear, indeed; and that he doubted
'Twould prove the verity of certain words
Spoke by a holy monk; 'that oft,' says he,
'Hath sent to me, wishing me to permit
John de la Car, my chaplain, a choice hour
To hear from him a matter of some moment:
Whom after under the confession's seal
He solemnly had sworn, that what he spoke
My chaplain to no creature living, but
To me, should utter, with demure confidence
This pausingly ensued: neither the king nor's heirs,
Tell you the duke, shall prosper: bid him strive
To gain the love o' the commonalty: the duke
Shall govern England.'
Not long before your Highness went to France,
the Duke was at the Rose, in the pari
sh
of St Laurence Poultney, and he asked me
what Londoners were saying about your French expedition: I replied
that people were afraid the French would be untrustworthy,
to the peril of the King. At once the Duke said
that was indeed a worry; and that he feared
it would prove the truth of certain words
spoken by a holy monk; he had often, he said,
sent him messages, asking him to permit
John de la Car, his chaplain, to find the time
when he could tell him some important matter:
after he had solemnly sworn under the seal
of confession that he would not tell any living creature
but the Duke what he said he haltingly but with
solemn assurance said this, that he should tell the Duke
that neither the king nor his heirs will prosper; that he should
strive to win over the love of the people; the Duke
will govern England.
QUEEN KATHARINE
If I know you well,
You were the duke's surveyor, and lost your office
On the complaint o' the tenants: take good heed
You charge not in your spleen a noble person
And spoil your nobler soul: I say, take heed;
Yes, heartily beseech you.
If I know you correctly,
you were the Duke's surveyor, and lost your job
due to the complaints of the tenants: make sure
you do not out of anger lay charges on a noble person
and risk your immortal soul: be careful, I say;
yes, I am earnestly warning you.
KING HENRY VIII
Let him on.
Go forward.
Let him carry on.
Go on.
Surveyor
On my soul, I'll speak but truth.
I told my lord the duke, by the devil's illusions
The monk might be deceived; and that 'twas dangerous for him
To ruminate on this so far, until
It forged him some design, which, being believed,
It was much like to do: he answer'd, 'Tush,
It can do me no damage;' adding further,
That, had the king in his last sickness fail'd,
The cardinal's and Sir Thomas Lovell's heads
Should have gone off.
I swear on my soul I will only tell the truth.
I told my lord the Duke that the monk might be deceived
by tricks of the devil; and that it was dangerous for him
to think so much about this until
it made him take action, which, if he believed it,
it was very likely to do: he answered, ‘Tosh,
it can do me no harm’; he further added
that if the king had died the last time he was ill,
Sir Thomas Lovell and the cardinal would have
lost their heads.
KING HENRY VIII
Ha! what, so rank? Ah ha!
There's mischief in this man: canst thou say further?
Ha! What, so evil? Aha!
There's mischief in this man: can you say anything else?
Surveyor
I can, my liege.
I can, my lord.
KING HENRY VIII
Proceed.
Go on.
Surveyor
Being at Greenwich,
After your highness had reproved the duke
About Sir William Blomer,--
When we were at Greenwich,
after your Highness had reproved the Duke
over Sir William Blomer–
KING HENRY VIII
I remember
Of such a time: being my sworn servant,
The duke retain'd him his. But on; what hence?
I remember
the incident: he was my sworn servant,
and the Duke employed him as his. But go on; what next?
Surveyor
'If,' quoth he, 'I for this had been committed,
As, to the Tower, I thought, I would have play'd
The part my father meant to act upon
The usurper Richard; who, being at Salisbury,
Made suit to come in's presence; which if granted,
As he made semblance of his duty, would
Have put his knife to him.'
‘If,’ he said, ‘I had been, as I thought I was going
to be, sent to the Tower for this, I would have done
what my father meant to do to
the usurper Richard; when he was at Salisbury
he asked permission to see him; if he had granted it,
while he was pretending to do his duty he would have
stabbed him.’
KING HENRY VIII
A giant traitor!
A great traitor!
CARDINAL WOLSEY
Now, madam, may his highness live in freedom,
and this man out of prison?
Now, madam, may his Highness live in freedom,
with this man out of prison?
QUEEN KATHARINE
God mend all!
God save us all!
KING HENRY VIII
There's something more would out of thee; what say'st?
There's something more you want to say; what is it?
Surveyor
After 'the duke his father,' with 'the knife,'
He stretch'd him, and, with one hand on his dagger,
Another spread on's breast, mounting his eyes
He did discharge a horrible oath; whose tenor
Was,--were he evil used, he would outgo
His father by as much as a performance
Does an irresolute purpose.
After speaking of his father the Duke and the knife,
he stretched out and, with one hand on his dagger,
another one on his heart, he looked up
and swore a terrible oath; the substance of which
was that if he was badly treated he would outstrip
his father as much as doing outstrips weak planning.
KING HENRY VIII
There's his period,
To sheathe his knife in us. He is attach'd;
Call him to present trial: if he may
Find mercy in the law, 'tis his: if none,
Let him not seek 't of us: by day and night,
He's traitor to the height.
That's his plan,
to bury his knife in me. He's been arrested;
call him to trial at once: if he can
find mercy from the law, he may have it; if not,
don't let him look for it from me: by day and by night,
he's a terrible traitor.
Exeunt
Enter Chamberlain and SANDS
Chamberlain
Is't possible the spells of France should juggle
Men into such strange mysteries?
Is it possible that the influence of France can make
men behave so strangely?
SANDS
New customs,
Though they be never so ridiculous,
Nay, let 'em be unmanly, yet are follow'd.
New customs,
however ridiculous they are,
even if they are unmanly, are always attractive.
Chamberlain
As far as I see, all the good our English
Have got by the late voyage is but merely
A fit or two o' the face; but they are shrewd ones;
For when they hold 'em, you would swear directly
Their very noses had been counsellors
To Pepin or Clotharius, they keep state so.
As far as I can see, the only good we English
have got from the recent expedition is just
some new grimaces; but they are clever,
for when they make them, you would certainly swear
that they had personal
ly been counsellors
to Pepin or Clotharius, they give themselves such airs.
SANDS
They have all new legs, and lame ones: one would take it,
That never saw 'em pace before, the spavin
Or springhalt reign'd among 'em.
They all have new ways of walking, lame ways; one would believe,
if you had never seen them what before, that they had
some kind of disease of the legs.
Chamberlain
Death! my lord,
Their clothes are after such a pagan cut too,
That, sure, they've worn out Christendom.
Enter LOVELL
How now!
What news, Sir Thomas Lovell?
By God, my lord,
their clothes are also cut in such a pagan fashion
that you would think they were tired of Christianity.
Hello there!
What news, Sir Thomas Lovell?
LOVELL
Faith, my lord,
I hear of none, but the new proclamation
That's clapp'd upon the court-gate.
I swear, my lord,
I have heard nothing except the new proclamation
that has been put up on the palace gate.
Chamberlain
What is't for?
What does it say?
LOVELL
The reformation of our travell'd gallants,
That fill the court with quarrels, talk, and tailors.
It refers to the behaviour of our travelled noblemen,
who fill the court with quarrels, gossip and tailors.
Chamberlain
I'm glad 'tis there: now I would pray our monsieurs
To think an English courtier may be wise,
And never see the Louvre.
I'm glad this has been done: now I would hope these Frenchmen
will think an English courtier can be wise,