The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

by William Shakespeare

That older ears cannot keep up with his talesAnd younger hearings are quite ravished;

  And younger listeners are completely carried away by;So sweet and voluble is his discourse.

  So sweet and talkative is his conversation.PRINCESS God bless my ladies! are they all in love,

  God bless my ladies! Are they all in love,That every one her own hath garnished

  So that every one has decorated her ownWith such bedecking ornaments of praise?

  With such ornaments and compliments of praise?

  First Lord Here comes Boyet.

  Here comes Boyet.Re-enter BOYETPRINCESS Now, what admittance, lord?

  Are we to be admitted, lord?BOYET Navarre had notice of your fair approach;

  Navarre was notified of your approach;And he and his competitors in oath

  And he and the others who took oaths togetherWere all address'd to meet you, gentle lady,

  Were all addressed to meet you, gentle lady,Before I came. Marry, thus much I have learnt:

  Before I came. This is as much as I have learned:He rather means to lodge you in the field,

  It seems he means to let you stay in the field,Like one that comes here to besiege his court,

  Like someone who comes here to take over his court,Than seek a dispensation for his oath,

  Than to make an exception for his oath,To let you enter his unpeopled house.

  So that he can let you enter his empty house.Here comes Navarre.

  Here comes Navarre.Enter FERDINAND, LONGAVILLE, DUMAIN, BIRON, and AttendantsFERDINAND Fair princess, welcome to the court of Navarre.

  Fair princess, welcome to the court of Navarre.PRINCESS 'Fair' I give you back again; and 'welcome' I have

  You can take back ‘fair’: and as for ‘welcome’ I havenot yet: the roof of this court is too high to be

  Not had any yet: the roof of this court is too high to beyours; and welcome to the wide fields too base to be mine.yours; and the welcome to the wide fields is too lowly to be mine.

  FERDINAND You shall be welcome, madam, to my court.

  You will be welcome, madam, to my court.PRINCESS I will be welcome, then: conduct me thither.

  I would like to be welcomed, then: take me there.FERDINAND Hear me, dear lady; I have sworn an oath.

  Listen, dear lady; I have sworn an oath.PRINCESS Our Lady help my lord! he'll be forsworn.

  Oh Mary, help my lord! He’ll break his oath!FERDINAND Not for the world, fair madam, by my will.

  Not for the world, fair lady, by my will.PRINCESS Why, will shall break it; will and nothing else.

  Well, your will shall break it; will and nothing else.FERDINAND Your ladyship is ignorant what it is.

  Your ladyship doesn’t know what it is.PRINCESS Were my lord so, his ignorance were wise,

  If my lord was so, his ignorance would be wise,Where now his knowledge must prove ignorance.

  Where now his knowledge must prove ignorance.I hear your grace hath sworn out house-keeping:

  I hear your grace has sworn out house-keeping:Tis deadly sin to keep that oath, my lord,

  It’s a deadly sin to keep that oath, my lord,And sin to break it.

  And a sin to break it.But pardon me. I am too sudden-bold:

  But excuse me. I am too bold all of a sudden:To teach a teacher ill beseemeth me.

  To teach a teacher doesn’t become me.Vouchsafe to read the purpose of my coming,

  Graciously condescend to read the purpose of my coming here,

  And suddenly resolve me in my suit.

  And soon settle my petition.FERDINAND Madam, I will, if suddenly I may.

  Madam, I will, and soon if I canPRINCESS You will the sooner, that I were away;

  You should do it sooner, so that I can leave;For you'll prove perjured if you make me stay.

  Since you’ll be breaking your oath if you make me stay.BIRON Did not I dance with you in Brabant once?

  Didn’t I dance with you in Brabant once?ROSALINE Did not I dance with you in Brabant once?

  Didn’t I dance with you in Brabant once?BIRON I know you did.

  I know you did.ROSALINE How needless was it then to ask the question!

  Then it was needless to ask the question!BIRON You must not be so quick.

  You shouldn’t be so hasty.ROSALINE 'Tis 'long of you that spur me with such questions.

  You’re taking up a lot of time asking such questions.BIRON Your wit's too hot, it speeds too fast, 'twill tire.

  Your wit is too hot, it speeds too fast, it will get tired.ROSALINE Not till it leave the rider in the mire.

  Not before it leaves its rider stuck in the mud of the swamps.

  BIRON What time o' day?

  At what time of day?ROSALINE The hour that fools should ask.

  The hour that fools would ask.BIRON Now fair befall your mask!

  And now your mask becomes beautiful!ROSALINE Fair fall the face it covers!

  Beautiful becomes the face that it covers!BIRON And send you many lovers!

  And send you many lovers!ROSALINE Amen, so you be none.

  Amen, so you won’t be one.BIRON Nay, then will I be gone.

  No, then I will be gone.FERDINAND Madam, your father here doth intimate

  Madam, your father indicates hereThe payment of a hundred thousand crowns;

  That there will be a payment of a hundred thousand crowns;Being but the one half of an entire sum

  That being only half of the entire sumDisbursed by my father in his wars.

  That my father gave in his wars.But say that he or we, as neither have,

  But let’s say the he or we, as neither of us have,Received that sum, yet there remains unpaid

  Received that sum, there remains unpaidA hundred thousand more; in surety of the which,

  A hundred thousand morel ; which will be insuredOne part of Aquitaine is bound to us,

  By trading one part of Aquitaine to us,

  Although not valued to the money's worth.

  Although it is not valued to that money’s worth.If then the king your father will restore

  If the king your father will give returnBut that one half which is unsatisfied,

  Just the one half that has yet to be paid,We will give up our right in Aquitaine,

  We will give up our claim in Aquitaine,And hold fair friendship with his majesty.

  And have a fine friendship with his majesty.But that, it seems, he little purposeth,

  But that, it seems, is hardly his purpose,For here he doth demand to have repaid

  Here he demands to have us repay himA hundred thousand crowns; and not demands,

  A hundred thousand crowns; and does not demand,On payment of a hundred thousand crowns,

  On payment of a hundred thousand crowns,To have his title live in Aquitaine;

  To have claim of Aquitaine;Which we much rather had depart withal

  Which we would much rather part withAnd have the money by our father lent

  And have the money lent by our fatherThan Aquitaine so gelded as it is.

  Than to have Aquitaine as broken as it is.Dear Princess, were not his requests so far

  Dear Princess, if his requests weren’t so From reason's yielding, your fair self should make

  Unreasonable, your good self could make A yielding 'gainst some reason in my breast

  An argument agains some reason in my breastAnd go well satisfied to France again.

  And go well satisfied to France again.PRINCESS You do the king my father too much wrong

  You do the king my father too much wrongAnd wrong the reputation of your name,

  And do wrong to the reputation of your name,In so unseeming to confess receipt

  By saying that you never receivedOf that which hath so faithfully been paid.

  That which has been so faithfully paid.

  FERDINAND I do protest I never heard of it;

  I must protest that I never heard of that;And if you prove it, I'll repay it back

  And if you prove it, I’ll repay it backOr yield up Aquitaine
.

  Or give up Aquitaine.PRINCESS We arrest your word.

  We will take you at you word.Boyet, you can produce acquittances

  Boyet, you can produce receiptsFor such a sum from special officers

  For that payment from special officersOf Charles his father.

  Of Charles his father.FERDINAND Satisfy me so.

  Satisfy me by showing them to me.BOYET So please your grace, the packet is not come

  Well, your grace, the packet has not comeWhere that and other specialties are bound:

  Where that and other things are bound to go:To-morrow you shall have a sight of them.

  You will be able to see them tomorrow.FERDINAND It shall suffice me: at which interview

  That will suffice: and at the interviewAll liberal reason I will yield unto.

  I will give in to whatever is reasonable.Meantime receive such welcome at my hand

  In the meantime, receive as much welcome at my handAs honour without breach of honour may

  As my honor, without breaching my honor, canMake tender of to thy true worthiness:

  Offer to your true worthiness:You may not come, fair princess, in my gates;

  You may not come, beautiful princess, in my gates;But here without you shall be so received

  But here outside you shall be so well received

  As you shall deem yourself lodged in my heart,

  That you will consider yourself as staying the night in my own heart,Though so denied fair harbour in my house.

  Though you are denied good shelter in my house.Your own good thoughts excuse me, and farewell:

  Your own good thoughts will excuse me, and goodbye:To-morrow shall we visit you again.

  Tomorrow we will visit you again.PRINCESS Sweet health and fair desires consort your grace!

  Sweet health and good desires be your grace’s companions!FERDINAND Thy own wish wish I thee in every place!

  Your own wish I wish back to you in every way!ExitBIRON Lady, I will commend you to mine own heart.

  Lady, I will praise you to my own heart.ROSALINE Pray you, do my commendations; I would be glad to see it.

  Please go ahead, say my praises; I would be glad to see it.BIRON I would you heard it groan.

  You would probably hear it groan.ROSALINE Is the fool sick?

  Is the fool sick?BIRON Sick at the heart.

  Heartsick.ROSALINE Alack, let it blood.

  Oh no! you should bleed it.BIRON Would that do it good?

  Would that do it good?

  ROSALINE My physic says 'ay.'

  My doctor says “Aye.”BIRON Will you prick't with your eye?

  Will you prick it with your eye?ROSALINE No point, with my knife.

  No, with my knife.BIRON Now, God save thy life!

  Now, God save your life!ROSALINE And yours from long living!

  And yours from living long!BIRON I cannot stay thanksgiving.

  I can’t stay giving thanks.RetiringDUMAIN Sir, I pray you, a word: what lady is that same?

  Sir, can I ask you something: who is that lady?BOYET The heir of Alencon, Katharine her name.

  The heir of Alencon, her name is Katharine.DUMAIN A gallant lady. Monsieur, fare you well.

  A brave lady. Monsieur, goodbye.ExitLONGAVILLE I beseech you a word: what is she in the white?

  I beg a word of you: what is she in the white?

  BOYET A woman sometimes, an you saw her in the light.

  A woman sometimes, and you saw her in the light.LONGAVILLE Perchance light in the light. I desire her name.

  Perhaps radiant in the light. I want her name.BOYET She hath but one for herself; to desire that were a shame.

  She only has one and that’s for herself; to want that would be a shame.LONGAVILLE Pray you, sir, whose daughter?

  Please sir, I mean whose daughter is she?BOYET Her mother's, I have heard.Her mother’s, I have heard.

  LONGAVILLE God's blessing on your beard!

  My God man!BOYET Good sir, be not offended.

  Good sir, don’t get offended.She is an heir of Falconbridge.

  She is an heir of Falconbridge.LONGAVILLE Nay, my choler is ended.

  No, my upset has ended.She is a most sweet lady.

  She is a very sweet lady.BOYET Not unlike, sir, that may be.

  That may be, sir.Exit LONGAVILLEBIRON What's her name in the cap?

  What’s her name, in the cap?BOYET Rosaline, by good hap.

  Rosaline, by good luck.BIRON Is she wedded or no?

  Is she married or no?BOYET To her will, sir, or so.

  To her own will, sir.BIRON You are welcome, sir: adieu.

  You are very welcome here, sir: goodbyeBOYET Farewell to me, sir, and welcome to you.

  Goodbye to me sir, and welcome to you.Exit BIRONMARIA That last is Biron, the merry madcap lord:

  That last one was Biron, the cheerful and reckless lord:Not a word with him but a jest.

  Never just words with him but jokes.BOYET And every jest but a word.

  And every joke is a word.PRINCESS It was well done of you to take him at his word.

  It was well done for you to take everything he said literally.BOYET I was as willing to grapple as he was to board.

  I was as willing to wrestle words with him as he was to get information.MARIA Two hot sheeps, marry.

  Two angry rams, how funny.

  BOYET And wherefore not ships?

  And how come we can’t be ships?No sheep, sweet lamb, unless we feed on your lips.

  Not rams, sweet lamb, unless we feed on your lips.MARIA You sheep, and I pasture: shall that finish the jest?

  You are sheep and I’m a pasture: does that finish the joke?BOYET So you grant pasture for me.

  So you grant me pasture.Offering to kiss herMARIA Not so, gentle beast:

  Not at all, gentle beast:My lips are no common, though several they be.

  My lips are not for general use, though there are several.BOYET Belonging to whom?

  Who do they belong to?MARIA To my fortunes and me.

  To my fortunes and me.PRINCESS Good wits will be jangling; but, gentles, agree:

  This is a good banter of wits; but gentle ones, we must agree:This civil war of wits were much better used

  This war between us of wits would be much better usedOn Navarre and his book-men; for here 'tis abused.

  On Navarre and his study-men; for here it is misused.BOYET If my observation, which very seldom lies,

  If my observations, which very seldom lies,By the heart's still rhetoric disclosed with eyes,

  Read the heart’s persuasion, uncovered by my eyes,Deceive me not now, Navarre is infected.

  Don’t deceive me now, I would say that Navarre is infected.PRINCESS With what?

  With what?BOYET With that which we lovers entitle affected.

  With what we lovers call affection.PRINCESS Your reason?

  What makes you say that?BOYET Why, all his behaviors did make their retire

  Well, all his behaviors retreatedTo the court of his eye, peeping thorough desire:

  To the court of his eye, seeing complete desire:His heart, like an agate, with your print impress'd,His heart like an agate stone, has been marked with your print,

  Proud with his form, in his eye pride express'd:

  Proud with his form, his eyes expressed pride;His tongue, all impatient to speak and not see,

  His tongue, all impatient to speak and not see,Did stumble with haste in his eyesight to be;

  Did stumble with his rush to see you;All senses to that sense did make their repair,

  All of his senses retreated to the sense of sightTo feel only looking on fairest of fair:

  So that they could all only feel looking at the most beautiful beauty:Methought all his senses were lock'd in his eye,

  It seemed to me that all his senses were fixed in his eyes,As jewels in crystal for some prince to buy;

  Like jewels in crystal for some prince to buy;Who, tendering their own worth from where they were glass'd,

  Who, offer
ing their own worth from inside their glass,Did point you to buy them, along as you pass'd:

  Did point at you to buy them, as you passed along:His face's own margent did quote such amazes

  You could tell by his face that he was amazedThat all eyes saw his eyes enchanted with gazes.

  And all eyes saw his eyes enchanted with gazes.I'll give you Aquitaine and all that is his,

  I’ll give you Aquitaine and everything he owns,An you give him for my sake but one loving kiss.

  If, for my sake, you give him one loving kiss.PRINCESS Come to our pavilion: Boyet is disposed.

  Come to our pavilion: Boyet is done for the day.BOYET But to speak that in words which his eye hath

  I only spoke in words that which his eyesdisclosed.

  Disclosed,I only have made a mouth of his eye,

  I have only made a mouth of his eye,By adding a tongue which I know will not lie.By adding a tongue that I know will not lie.

  ROSALINE Thou art an old love-monger and speakest skilfully.

  You are an old matchmaker, and speak skillfully.MARIA He is Cupid's grandfather and learns news of him.

  He is Cupid’s grandfather and learns news about love from him.ROSALINE Then was Venus like her mother, for her father is but grim.

  Then Venus was like her mother, for her father is but girm.BOYET Do you hear, my mad wenches?

  Do you hear what I’m saying, you crazy girls?MARIA No.

  No.BOYET What then, do you see?

  What then, do you see?ROSALINE Ay, our way to be gone.

  The way out of here.BOYET You are too hard for me.Oh, I give up.

  Exeunt

  Enter DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO and MOTH

  DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO Warble, child; make passionate my sense of hearing.

  Sing, child; make my ears feel passion.MOTH Concolinel.

  Concolinel.SingingDON ADRIANO DE ARMADO Sweet air! Go, tenderness of years; take this key,

  Sweet song! Go, young one; take this key,give enlargement to the swain, bring him festinately

  Release the country boy, bring him quicklyhither: I must employ him in a letter to my love.

  Here: I must send him to take a letter to my love.MOTH Master, will you win your love with a French brawl?

  Master, will you win your love with a French dance?

  DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO How meanest thou? brawling in French?

  How do you mean? Dancing in French?MOTH No, my complete master: but to jig off a tune at