The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)
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Yes, madam, and moreoverSome thousand verses of a faithful lover,
About a thousand verses of a faithful lover,A huge translation of hypocrisy,
A huge translation of hypocrisy,Vilely compiled, profound simplicity.
Horribly compiled, profound stupidity.MARIA This and these pearls to me sent Longaville:
This and these pearls were sent to me by Longaville:The letter is too long by half a mile.
The letter is too long by half a mile.PRINCESS I think no less. Dost thou not wish in heart
I think the same thing. Don’t you wish in your heartThe chain were longer and the letter short?
That the string of pearls was longer and the letter was shorter?MARIA Ay, or I would these hands might never part.
Yes, or I wouldn’t want to marry..PRINCESS We are wise girls to mock our lovers so.
We are such smart girls to make fun of our lovers like this.ROSALINE They are worse fools to purchase mocking so.
They are worse fools to get themselves mocked like this.That same Biron I'll torture ere I go:
That Biron man, I’ll torture before I go:O that I knew he were but in by the week!
O If I knew that he was trapped permanently!How I would make him fawn and beg and seek
I would make him fawn over me and beg and seekAnd wait the season and observe the times
And wait through the seasons and watch time go byAnd spend his prodigal wits in bootless rhymes
And spend his extravagant wits in fruitless rhymesAnd shape his service wholly to my hests
And make him my slaveAnd make him proud to make me proud that jests!
And make him take satisfaction in glorifying me, the one who makes fun of himSo perttaunt-like would I o'ersway his state
And like holding a winning hand at cards, I would oversway his stateThat he should be my fool and I his fate.
So that he would be my fool and I his fate.PRINCESS None are so surely caught, when they are catch'd,
No one is as surely caught, when then are caught,As wit turn'd fool: folly, in wisdom hatch'd,
As wit that is turned foolish: recklessness that comes from wisdom,Hath wisdom's warrant and the help of school
Has wisdom’s permission and the help of schoolingAnd wit's own grace to grace a learned fool.
And the gift of wit to grace an educated fool.ROSALINE The blood of youth burns not with such excess
The blood of youth does not burn with such excessAs gravity's revolt to wantonness.
As a wise man’s rebellion to being unrestrained.MARIA Folly in fools bears not so strong a note
Recklessness in fools is not as strong As foolery in the wise, when wit doth dote;
As foolery in the wise, when wit grows fond;Since all the power thereof it doth apply
Since all of its power is then appliedTo prove, by wit, worth in simplicity.
To prove, by wit, their worth in foolishness.
PRINCESS Here comes Boyet, and mirth is in his face.
Here comes Boyet, and cheerfulness in his face.Enter BOYETBOYET O, I am stabb'd with laughter! Where's her grace?
O I am stabbed with laughter! Where is her grace?PRINCESS Thy news Boyet?
What is your news Boyet?BOYET Prepare, madam, prepare!
Prepare yourself, madam, prepare yourself!Arm, wenches, arm! encounters mounted areArm yourselves, girls! The mounted confronters
Against your peace: Love doth approach disguised,Are against your peace: Love approaches, disguised,
Armed in arguments; you'll be surprised:Armed with arguments; you will be overcome by surprise attack:
Muster your wits; stand in your own defence;Rally your wits; stand and defend yourselves;
Or hide your heads like cowards, and fly hence.Or hide your heads like coward, and run from here.
PRINCESS Saint Denis to Saint Cupid! What are theySaint Denis to Saint Cupid! What are they
That charge their breath against us? say, scout, say.That are charging this way to meet us? Tell us, scout.
BOYET Under the cool shade of a sycamoreUnder the cool shade of a sycamore tree
I thought to close mine eyes some half an hour;I was planning to take a nap for about half an hour;
When, lo! to interrupt my purposed rest,When, suddenly! Interrupting my planned rest,
Toward that shade I might behold addrestToward that shade I could see approaching
The king and his companions: warilyThe king and his companions: warily
I stole into a neighbour thicket by,I hid in a nearby thicket,
And overheard what you shall overhear,And overheard what I will tell you now,
That, by and by, disguised they will be here.Which is that pretty soon they will be here in disguise.
Their herald is a pretty knavish page,Their announcer is a pretty crafty page,
That well by heart hath conn'd his embassage:That has learned by heart his message:
Action and accent did they teach him there;They taught him gestures and accent
'Thus must thou speak,' and 'thus thy body bear:'‘Say it like this’ and ‘make your body do this:’
And ever and anon they made a doubtAnd every now and again they expressed a fear
Presence majestical would put him out,That your majestic presence would discomfort him,
'For,' quoth the king, 'an angel shalt thou see;‘Since,’ said the king, ‘you will see an angel;
Yet fear not thou, but speak audaciously.'yet don’t be afraid, but speak boldly.’
The boy replied, 'An angel is not evil;The boy replied, ‘An angel is not evil;
I should have fear'd her had she been a devil.'I would have be afraid of her if she was a devil.’
With that, all laugh'd and clapp'd him on the shoulder,With that, they all laughed and clapped him on the shoulder,
Making the bold wag by their praises bolder:Making the brave little joker bolder with their praises:
One rubb'd his elbow thus, and fleer'd and sworeOne rubbed his elbow then, and grinned and swore
A better speech was never spoke before;That a better speech has never been spoken before;
Another, with his finger and his thumb,Another, snapping his fingers,
Cried, 'Via! we will do't, come what will come;'Cried, ‘Let’s go! We will do it, come what may;’
The third he caper'd, and cried, 'All goes well;'The third he leapt playfully and cried, ‘All goes well;’
The fourth turn'd on the toe, and down he fell.The fourth turned on the toe, and fell down.
With that, they all did tumble on the ground,With that, they all tumbled to the ground,
With such a zealous laughter, so profound,With such energetic laughter, so profound,
That in this spleen ridiculous appears,That in this excess of laughter appears,
To cheque their folly, passion's solemn tears.In order to keep their silliness in check, passion’s solemn tears in their eyes.
PRINCESS But what, but what, come they to visit us?
And what? And what, are they coming to visit us?BOYET They do, they do: and are apparell'd thus.
They are, they are: and they are dressedLike Muscovites or Russians, as I guess.
Like Muscovites or Russians, is my guess.Their purpose is to parle, to court and dance;
Their purpose is to talk, to court, and dance;And every one his love-feat will advance
And every one of them will perform a feat of loveUnto his several mistress, which they'll know
For his severe mistress, which they will knowBy favours several which they did bestow.
By all the tokens that they have bestowed.PRINCESS And will they so? the gallants shall be task'd;
Oh, will they now? The gallant men shall be put to the task;For, ladies, we shall every one be mask'd;For ladies, every one of us will be masked;
And not a man of them shall have the grace,And not a man of them shall have the pleasure,
Despite of suit, to see a lady's face.Despite our clothes, to see a lady’s face.
And then the king will court thee for his dear;And then the king will court you as his dear;
Hold, take thou this, my sweet, and give me thine,Here, you take this, my sweet, and give me yours,
So shall Biron take me for Rosaline.So Biron will think that I am Rosaline.
And change your favours too; so shall your lovesAnd you two exchange your gifts too; so your loves
Woo contrary, deceived by these removes.Will woo the wrong one, deceived by the switch.
ROSALINE Come on, then; wear the favours most in sight.
Come on, then; make sure your wear the gifts where they are in plain sight.KATHARINE But in this changing what is your intent?
But what’s your intent in this changing?PRINCESS The effect of my intent is to cross theirs:The effect of my intent is to test theirs:
They do it but in mocking merriment;They only do it for fun, to mock us;
And mock for mock is only my intent.And my intent is only to mock them back.
Their several counsels they unbosom shallAnd their private intentions and they confide
To loves mistook, and so be mock'd withal
To their mistaken loves, will be mocked moreover
Upon the next occasion that we meet,On the next time that we meet,
With visages displayed, to talk and greet.With our faces exposed, to talk and greet.
ROSALINE But shall we dance, if they desire to't?
But should we dance, if they as us to?PRINCESS No, to the death, we will not move a foot;No, on pain of death, we won’t budge one foot;
Nor to their penn'd speech render we no grace,And when they read their speeches we will give them no politeness,
But while 'tis spoke each turn away her face.But while it is spoken each turn away her face.
BOYET Why, that contempt will kill the speaker's heart,Why something so cruel will kill the speaker’s heart,
And quite divorce his memory from his part.And very much separate his memory from his chosen lady.
PRINCESS Therefore I do it; and I make no doubtThat’s why I will do it; and I don’t doubt
The rest will ne'er come in, if he be outThat the rest will never come in, if he is comfused
There's no such sport as sport by sport o'erthrown,There’s no game more fun than someone’s game being overthrown by yours,
To make theirs ours and ours none but our own:To make their fun ours, and ours only fun for ourselves:
So shall we stay, mocking intended game,That’s what we’ll so, making fun of their little game,
And they, well mock'd, depart away with shame.And they, well mocked, will leave in shame.
Trumpets sound withinBOYET The trumpet sounds: be mask'd; the maskers come.
The trumpet sounds: get your masks on; the maskers come.The Ladies mask
The Ladies put their masks onEnter Blackamoors with music; MOTH; FERDINAND, BIRON, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAIN, in Russian habits, and maskedMOTH All hail, the richest beauties on the earth!—
All hail, the richest beauties on the earth!---BOYET Beauties no richer than rich taffeta.
Beauties that are no richer than a mask made of taffeta cloth.MOTH A holy parcel of the fairest dames.
A holy company of the lovliest dames.The Ladies turn their backs to himThat ever turn'd their--backs--to mortal views!That ever turned their—backs—to mortal views!
BIRON [Aside to MOTH] Their eyes, villain, their eyes!
[Aside to MOTH] Their eyes, you idiot, their eyes!MOTH That ever turn'd their eyes to mortal views!--Out—
That ever turned their eyes to mortal views! –Out---BOYET True; out indeed.
True; outright confused.MOTH Out of your favours, heavenly spirits, vouchsafe
Out of your tokens, heavenly angels, condescend to grantNot to behold—
Not to behold---BIRON [Aside to MOTH] Once to behold, rogue.
[Aside to MOHT] Once to behold, dummy.MOTH Once to behold with your sun-beamed eyes,
Once to behold with your sun-beamed eyes,
--with your sun-beamed eyes—
--with your sun-beamed eyes--BOYET They will not answer to that epithet;
They will not answer to that description;You were best call it 'daughter-beamed eyes.'
You had better call it ‘Daighter-beamed eyes.’MOTH They do not mark me, and that brings me out.
They’re not listening to me, and that puts me out.BIRON Is this your perfectness? be gone, you rogue!
Is this your so-called perfection? Get out of here, you scoundrel!Exit MOTHROSALINE What would these strangers? know their minds, Boyet:
What do these strangers want? Figure out why they’re here, Boyet:If they do speak our language, 'tis our will:
If they can speak our language, it is our wishThat some plain man recount their purposes
That some plain-speaking man tell us their purposesKnow what they would.
And tell us what they want.BOYET What would you with the princess?
What do you want with the princess?BIRON Nothing but peace and gentle visitation.
Nothing but peace and gentle visitation.ROSALINE What would they, say they?
What did they say they want?BOYET Nothing but peace and gentle visitation.Nothing but peace and gentle visitation.
ROSALINE Why, that they have; and bid them so be gone.
Well, the have that; now tell them to leave.BOYET She says, you have it, and you may be gone.
She says you have it, and you can leave.FERDINAND Say to her, we have measured many miles
Say to her that we have traveled many milesTo tread a measure with her on this grass.
To dance with her on this grass.BOYET They say, that they have measured many a mile
They say that they have come a long ways
To tread a measure with you on this grass.
To dance with you on this grass.ROSALINE It is not so. Ask them how many inches
That’s not true. Ask them how many inches Is in one mile: if they have measured many,
Are in one mile: if they have walked many miles,The measure then of one is easily told.
Then they can easily say how many.BOYET If to come hither you have measured miles,
If to get here you have some many miles,And many miles, the princess bids you tell
The princess asks you to tell herHow many inches doth fill up one mile.
How many inches are in a mile.BIRON Tell her, we measure them by weary steps.
Tell her that we measure them by weary steps.BOYET She hears herself.
She hears you herself.
ROSALINE How many weary steps,
How many weary steps,Of many weary miles you have o'ergone,
Of the many weary miles you have traveled,Are number'd in the travel of one mile?Are numbered in the travel of one mile?
BIRON We number nothing that we spend for you:
We don’t count anything that we spend for you:Our duty is so rich, so infinite,
Our task is so rich, so infinite, That we may do it still without accompt.
That we do it without calculating.Vouchsafe to show the sunshine of your face,
Condescend to grant us the pleasure, show the sunshine of your face,
That we, like savages, may worship it.
So that we, like savages, may worship it.ROSALINE My face is but a moon, and clouded too.
My face is only a moon, and masked too.FERDINAND Blessed are clouds, to do as such clouds do!
What lucky clouds to be so close as to mask your face!Vouchsafe, bright moon, and these thy stars, to shine,
Grant us the privilege, bright moon, and these, your stars, to shine,Those clouds removed, upon our watery eyne.
With the clouds removed, upon our watery eyes.ROSALINE O vain petitioner! beg a greater matter;
O, what a vain request! Beg for a greater purpose;Thou now request'st but moonshine in the water.
What you’re asking f
or now is nothing at all.FERDINAND Then, in our measure do but vouchsafe one change.
Well then, if you would, grant us one dance.Thou bid'st me beg: this begging is not strange.
You asked me to beg: this request is not strange.
ROSALINE Play, music, then! Nay, you must do it soon.
Play music, then! And you must do it soon,Music playsNot yet! no dance! Thus change I like the moon.
Not yet! No dance! So I change like the moon.FERDINAND Will you not dance? How come you thus estranged?
You won’t dance? How did you become so estranged?ROSALINE You took the moon at full, but now she's changed.
You took a full moon, but now she’s changed.FERDINAND Yet still she is the moon, and I the man.
But she is still the moon, and I the man in the moon.The music plays; vouchsafe some motion to it.
The music plays; grant some motion to it.ROSALINE Our ears vouchsafe it.
Our ears grant it.FERDINAND But your legs should do it.
But your legs should do it.ROSALINE Since you are strangers and come here by chance,
Since you are strangers and have come here by chance,We'll not be nice: take hands. We will not dance.
We will not be coy: take my hand. We will not dance.FERDINAND Why take we hands, then?
Why should I take your hand then?ROSALINE Only to part friends:
So that we may part friends:
Curtsy, sweet hearts; and so the measure ends.
Curtsy, ladies; and so the dance ends.FERDINAND More measure of this measure; be not nice.
We wish more of this dance; don’t be coy.ROSALINE We can afford no more at such a price.
We can afford no more at such a price.FERDINAND Prize you yourselves: what buys your company?
Name your price: what buys your company?ROSALINE Your absence only.
Only your absence.FERDINAND That can never be.
That can’t be.ROSALINE Then cannot we be bought: and so, adieu;
Then we cannot be bought: and so, goodbye;Twice to your visor, and half once to you.
Twice to your mask and half to you.FERDINAND If you deny to dance, let's hold more chat.
If you won’t dance, let’s at least talk.ROSALINE In private, then.
In private then.FERDINAND I am best pleased with that.
That’s what I would prefer.They converse apart