The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

by William Shakespeare

  DUKE VINCENTIO

  No more evasion:

  No more evasion:We have with a leaven'd and prepared choice

  We have with a carefully considered and prepared choiceProceeded to you; therefore take your honours.

  Proceeded to you; therefore take your honors.Our haste from hence is of so quick condition

  The cause for my hasty departure is so urgentThat it prefers itself and leaves unquestion'd

  That it takes precedence over all other matters, and leaves unconsideredMatters of needful value. We shall write to you,Matters of needful value. We shall write to you,

  As time and our concernings shall importune,

  As much as time and our business allows,How it goes with us, and do look to know

  And let you know how it goes with us, and will want to knowWhat doth befall you here. So, fare you well;

  What happens to you here. So, may you fare well;To the hopeful execution do I leave you

  I leave you to the hopeful execution Of your commissions.

  Of your commissions.

  ANGELO

  Yet give leave, my lord,

  But give me permission, my lord,That we may bring you something on the way.

  So that we can bring you something on the way.

  DUKE VINCENTIO

  My haste may not admit it;

  I may be in too much of a hurry for that;Nor need you, on mine honour, have to doNor do you, I promise, have to do

  With any scruple; your scope is as mine own

  With any scruple; you have my same powersSo to enforce or qualify the laws

  To enforce or qualify the lawsAs to your soul seems good. Give me your hand:

  As you yourself deem right. I'll privily away. I love the people,

  I’ll leave secretly. I love the people,But do not like to stage me to their eyes:

  But I do not like to make a show of myself to them:Through it do well, I do not relish well

  Through it do well, I don’t exactly relishTheir loud applause and Aves vehement;Their loud applause and hails of acclamation;

  Nor do I think the man of safe discretion

  Nor do I think that a man of safe discretionThat does affect it. Once more, fare you well.

  Would want it. Once again, goodbye.

  ANGELO

  The heavens give safety to your purposes!

  May the heavens see you safely to your purposes!

  ESCALUS

  Lead forth and bring you back in happiness!

  Lead ahead, and bring back happiness!

  DUKE

  I thank you. Fare you well.

  I thank you. Goodbye.

  Exit

  ESCALUS

  I shall desire you, sir, to give me leave

  I will want you, sir, to give me permissionTo have free speech with you; and it concerns me

  To speak freely to you; it concerns me To look into the bottom of my place:To look into the extent of my commission and authority:

  A power I have, but of what strength and nature

  A power that I possess, but how strong and for what purposeI am not yet instructed.

  I am not yet instructed.

  ANGELO

  'Tis so with me. Let us withdraw together,

  Same with me. Let us withdraw together,And we may soon our satisfaction have

  And we may soon have the satisfactionTouching that point.

  Of talking about it.

  ESCALUS

  I'll wait upon your honour.

  I’ll go with you.

  Exeunt

  Enter LUCIO and two Gentlemen

  LUCIO

  If the duke with the other dukes come not to

  If the duke does not come with the other dukes don’t come tocomposition with the King of Hungary, why then all

  An agreement with the King of Hungary, well then allthe dukes fall upon the king.

  The dukes will attack the king.

  FIRST GENTLEMAN

  Heaven grant us its peace, but not the King of

  May heaven grant us peace, but not the King ofHungary's!

  Hungary’s!

  SECOND GENTLEMAN

  Amen.

  Amen.

  LUCIO

  Thou concludest like the sanctimonious pirate, that

  You talk like the self-righteous pirate, thatwent to sea with the Ten Commandments, but scraped

  Went out to sea with ther Ten Commandments, but scrapedone out of the table.

  One of them out of the tablet.

  SECOND GENTLEMAN

  'Thou shalt not steal'?

  Was it “Thou shalt not steal”?

  LUCIO

  Ay, that he razed.

  Yes, that’s the one he did away with.

  FIRST GENTLEMAN

  Why, 'twas a commandment to command the captain and

  Well, it was a commandment that was commanding the captain andall the rest from their functions: they put forth

  All of his crew from performing their functions: they set outto steal. There's not a soldier of us all, that, in

  To steal. There’s not a soldier out of all of us soldiers, that, whilethe thanksgiving before meat, do relish the petition

  Blessing the food before we eat, love for peoplewell that prays for peace.

  To pray for peace.

  SECOND GENTLEMAN

  I never heard any soldier dislike it.

  I’ve never actually heard a soldier say they didn’t like that.

  LUCIO

  I believe thee; for I think thou never wast where

  I believe you; since I don’t think you’ve ever been presentgrace was said.

  When people say grace before they eat.

  SECOND GENTLEMAN

  No? a dozen times at least.

  You don’t think so? I have, at least a dozen times.

  FIRST GENTLEMAN

  What, in metre?

  What, in meter?

  LUCIO

  In any proportion or in any language.

  In any form or in any language.

  FIRST GENTLEMAN

  I think, or in any religion.

  I think, or in any religion.

  LUCIO

  Ay, why not? Grace is grace, despite of all

  Yes, and why not? Grace is grace, despite allcontroversy: as, for example, thou thyself art a

  Controversies: like, for example, you yourself are anwicked villain, despite of all grace.

  Evil swine, despite all of grace.

  FIRST GENTLEMAN

  Well, there went but a pair of shears between us.

  Well, we’re cut from the same cloth.

  LUCIO

  I grant; as there may between the lists and the

  I grant you; as there may be between the edges of the fabricvelvet. Thou art the list.

  and the velvet. You are the edge.

  FIRST GENTLEMAN

  And thou the velvet: thou art good velvet; thou'rt

  And you’re the velvet: you are good velvet; you’rea three-piled piece, I warrant thee: I had as lief

  A piece that is piled three high, I bet: I would ratherbe a list of an English kersey as be piled, as thou

  Be an edge of a coarse and wooly fabric, than be like you with your venerealart piled, for a French velvet. Do I speak

  disease, for being a French velvet. Are my wordsfeelingly now?

  Hurting your feelings now?

  LUCIO

  I think thou dost; and, indeed, with most painful

  I think you did; indeed your words werefeeling of thy speech: I will, out of thine own

  Very painful: And since you’ve confessed confession, learn to begin thy health; but, whilst I

  That you have a venereal disease, I will begin drinking to your health; butlive, forget to drink after thee.

  So long as I live, never drink after you for fear of catching it.

  FIRST GENTLEMAN

  I think I have done myself wrong, have I not?

  I think I have wronged m
yself, haven’t I?

  SECOND GENTLEMAN

  Yes, that thou hast, whether thou art tainted or free.

  Yes you have, whether you are contaminated or not.

  LUCIO

  Behold, behold. where Madam Mitigation comes! I

  Look, look. Here comes Madam Mitigation! Ihave purchased as many diseases under her roof as come to—

  Have bought myself so many diseases under her roof that the total come to—

  SECOND GENTLEMAN

  To what, I pray?

  To how much?

  LUCIO

  Judge.

  Guess.

  SECOND GENTLEMAN

  To three thousand dolours a year.

  To three thousand dollars a year.

  FIRST GENTLEMAN

  Ay, and more.

  Yes, and more than that probably.

  LUCIO

  A French crown more.

  A French crown more.

  FIRST GENTLEMAN

  Thou art always figuring diseases in me; but thou

  You always joke that I have French diseases; but you

  art full of error; I am sound.

  Are totally wrong; I’m perfectly sound and healthy.

  LUCIO

  Nay, not as one would say, healthy; but so sound as

  No, I wouldn’t say healthy; I would say you are sound asthings that are hollow: thy bones are hollow;

  Things that are hollow: your bones are hollow from syphilis;impiety has made a feast of thee.

  Being so sinful has made a feast out of you.

  Enter MISTRESS OVERDONE

  FIRST GENTLEMAN

  How now! which of your hips has the most profound sciatica?

  Hello there! Which of your hips has the worst sciatica?

  MISTRESS OVERDONE

  Well, well; there's one yonder arrested and carried

  Well, well; there’s a man that has been arrested and carried to prison was worth five thousand of you all.

  To prison that is worth five thousand of you all.

  SECOND GENTLEMAN

  Who's that, I pray thee?

  And who is that, may I ask?

  MISTRESS OVERDONE

  Marry, sir, that's Claudio, Signior Claudio.

  Well, sir, that would be Claudio, Mister Claudio.

  FIRST GENTLEMAN

  Claudio to prison? 'tis not so.

  Claudio was sent to prison? It can’t be.

  MISTRESS OVERDONE

  Nay, but I know 'tis so: I saw him arrested, saw

  No, but I know it’s true: I saw him get arrested, sawhim carried away; and, which is more, within these

  Him carried away; and what’s more, within the nextthree days his head to be chopped off.

  Three days his head is going to be chopped off.

  LUCIO

  But, after all this fooling, I would not have it so.

  But, after all of this joking, I don’t want that to happen..Art thou sure of this?

  Are you sure of this?

  MISTRESS OVERDONE

  I am too sure of it: and it is for getting Madam

  I am too sure of it: and it is all because he got MadamJulietta with child.

  Julietta pregnant.

  LUCIO

  Believe me, this may be: he promised to meet me two

  Believe me, it could be true: he promised to meet me two hours since, and he was ever precise in

  Hours ago, and he never breaks promise-keeping.

  A promise.

  SECOND GENTLEMAN

  Besides, you know, it draws something near to the

  Besides, you know, it sounds a bit likespeech we had to such a purpose.

  What we were talking about earlier.

  FIRST GENTLEMAN

  But, most of all, agreeing with the proclamation.

  But most of all, it’s consistent with the proclamation.

  LUCIO

  Away! let's go learn the truth of it.

  Come on! Let’s go learn the truth.

  Exeunt LUCIO and Gentlemen

  MISTRESS OVERDONE

  Thus, what with the war, what with the sweat, what

  So, with the war, with the plague, with the gallows and what with poverty, I am

  With the executions, and with poverty, I am custom-shrunk.

  Out of customers.

  Enter POMPEY

  How now! what's the news with you?

  Hey there! What’s the news?

  POMPEY

  Yonder man is carried to prison.

  That man has been carried to prison.

  MISTRESS OVERDONE

  Well; what has he done?

  Well; what has he done?

  POMPEY

  A woman.

  A woman.

  MISTRESS OVERDONE

  But what's his offence?

  But what has he done wrong?

  POMPEY

  Groping for trouts in a peculiar river.

  Groping for trouts in a private river.

  MISTRESS OVERDONE

  What, is there a maid with child by him?

  So what, is there a maid is with child by his doing?

  POMPEY

  No, but there's a woman with maid by him. You have

  No but there is a woman who has a maid that are standing by him. You havenot heard of the proclamation, have you?

  Not heard of the proclamation, have you?

  MISTRESS OVERDONE

  What proclamation, man?

  What proclamation?

  POMPEY

  All houses in the suburbs of Vienna must be plucked down.

  All brothels in the suburbs of Vienna must be taken down.

  MISTRESS OVERDONE

  And what shall become of those in the city?

  And what will happen to the ones that are in the city?

  POMPEY

  They shall stand for seed: they had gone down too,

  They will remain: they were about to be torn down too,but that a wise burgher put in for them.

  But a wise man interceded on their behalf.

  MISTRESS OVERDONE

  But shall all our houses of resort in the suburbs be

  But will all of our houses of pleasure in the suburbs bepulled down?

  Torn down?

  POMPEY

  To the ground, mistress.

  Yes, to the ground, mistress.

  MISTRESS OVERDONE

  Why, here's a change indeed in the commonwealth!

  Well that’s a huge change in the commonwealth!What shall become of me?

  What will I do?

  POMPEY

  Come; fear you not: good counsellors lack no

  Come now; don’t be afraid: good counselors lack noclients: though you change your place, you need not

  Clients: though you change your place, you don’t need tochange your trade; I'll be your tapster still.

  Change your trade; I’ll still be your tapster.Courage! there will be pity taken on you: you that

  Have courage! People will take pity on you: you whohave worn your eyes almost out in the service, you

  Have worked so very hard for this, you

  will be considered.

  Will be considered.

  MISTRESS OVERDONE

  What's to do here, Thomas tapster? let's withdraw.

  What are we doing here, Mister tapster? Let’s leave.

  POMPEY

  Here comes Signior Claudio, led by the provost to

  Here comes Mister Claudio, led by the provost toprison; and there's Madam Juliet.

  Prison: and there’s Madam Juliet.

  Exeunt

  Enter Provost, CLAUDIO, JULIET, and Officers

  CLAUDIO

  Fellow, why dost thou show me thus to the world?

  Please, why do you shame me like this in front of the world?Bear me to prison, where I am committed.

  Just take me to prison, where I am committed.

  Provost

  I do it not in evil disposition,I’m not doing
it to be evil,

  But from Lord Angelo by special charge.

  It’s a special order from Lord Angelo.

  CLAUDIO

  Thus can the demigod Authority

  And so the demigod AuthorityMake us pay down for our offence by weight

  Makes us pay the exact amount of our offence The words of heaven; on whom it will, it will;The words of heaven; whoever it happens to, it happens,

  On whom it will not, so; yet still 'tis just.

  The same for whoever it doesn’t happen to. Either way, it is justice.

  Re-enter LUCIO and two Gentlemen

  LUCIO

  Why, how now, Claudio! whence comes this restraint?

  Why, what’s happened, Claudio! Where do these chains come from?

  CLAUDIO

  From too much liberty, my Lucio, liberty:

  From too much livery, my Lucio, liberty:As surfeit is the father of much fast,

  Just like someone who fasts then overindulges,So every scope by the immoderate use

  So does every freedom from excessive useTurns to restraint. Our natures do pursue,

  Turn into restrain. Our natures do chase,Like rats that ravin down their proper bane,

  Like rats that greedily devour what is poisonous to them,A thirsty evil; and when we drink we die.

  A thirsty evil; and when we drink, we die.

  LUCIO

  If could speak so wisely under an arrest, I would

  If I could speak with such wisdom while under arrest, I wouldsend for certain of my creditors: and yet, to say

  Send for certain of the ones who would imprison me for debt: and yet, to saythe truth, I had as lief have the foppery of freedom