The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

by William Shakespeare

  You will do aught, this shall you do for me:do anything, then do this for me:

  Your oath I will not trust; but go with speedI can’t trust your promise; but go quickly

  To some forlorn and naked hermitage,to some lonely and barren hermitage,

  Remote from all the pleasures of the world;Far away from all the modern pleasures of the world;

  There stay until the twelve celestial signsAnd stay there until twelve months

  Have brought about the annual reckoning.Have gone buy to mark one year.

  If this austere insociable lifeIf this severe nonsocial life

  Change not your offer made in heat of blood;won’t change the offer you made in passion;

  If frosts and fasts, hard lodging and thin weedsIf frost and hunger, rough shelter and thin garments

  Nip not the gaudy blossoms of your love,Don’t degrade the intensity of your love,

  But that it bear this trial and last love;But if you can bear this trial and love remains;

  Then, at the expiration of the year,Then, after one year

  Come challenge me, challenge me by these deserts,Come claim me, claim me by the merit of these actions,

  And, by this virgin palm now kissing thineAnd, by my virgin hand, which you are now kissing

  I will be thine; and till that instant shutI will be yours; and until a year has passed I will shut

  My woeful self up in a mourning house,my woeful self up in my house to mourn,

  Raining the tears of lamentationRaining tears in lament

  For the remembrance of my father's death.Over my father’s death.

  If this thou do deny, let our hands part,If you won’t do this, then let us not touch,

  Neither entitled in the other's heart.Neither of us has a right to the other.

  FERDINAND If this, or more than this, I would deny,

  If this request, or more than this request, I would refuseTo flatter up these powers of mine with rest,

  And instead pamper up myself with rest, The sudden hand of death close up mine eye!

  Then the hand of death will take me! Hence ever then my heart is in thy breast.So my heart will forever be in your chest.

  DUMAIN But what to me, my love? but what to me? A wife?

  What do I get, my love? What do I get? A wife? KATHARINE A beard, fair health, and honesty;

  A beard, good health, and honesty;With three-fold love I wish you all these three.With all my love I wish for you to have these three things.

  DUMAIN O, shall I say, I thank you, gentle wife?

  O, should I say, I thank you, wife? KATHARINE Not so, my lord; a twelvemonth and a day

  No, my lord; not fore twelve months and a dayI'll mark no words that smooth-faced wooers say:I won’t listen to any words beardless suitors say

  Come when the king doth to my lady come;Come to me when the king comes to the princess;

  Then, if I have much love, I'll give you some.Then, if I feel like it, I’ll love you.

  DUMAIN I'll serve thee true and faithfully till then.I’ll wait for you true and faithfully until then.

  KATHARINE Yet swear not, lest ye be forsworn again.Don’t swear it, unless you break another promise.

  LONGAVILLE What says Maria?What do you say Maria?

  MARIA At the twelvemonth's endAt the end of twelve months

  I'll change my black gown for a faithful friend.I’ll take of my black dress for a faithful lover.

  LONGAVILLE I'll stay with patience; but the time is long.

  I’ll remain with patience; but it is such a long time. MARIA The liker you; few taller are so young.Just like you; there are few young people who are so tall.

  BIRON Studies my lady? mistress, look on me;What are you thinking my lady? Mistress, look at me;

  Behold the window of my heart, mine eye,See the window of my heart, my eye

  What humble suit attends thy answer there:What humble offering awaits your answer there:

  Impose some service on me for thy love.Let me do something to earn your love.

  ROSALINE Oft have I heard of you, my Lord Biron,I’ve heard quite a bit about you, my Lord Biron,

  Before I saw you; and the world's large tonguebefore I saw you; and the general consensus

  Proclaims you for a man replete with mocks,claims you to be a man who mocks others,

  Full of comparisons and wounding flouts,Full of witty sarcastic similes and harsh disregard,

  Which you on all estates will executeWhich you would place on all classes

  That lie within the mercy of your wit.that you were able to insult.

  To weed this wormwood from your fruitful brain,

  To get this poison from your intelligent brain,

  And therewithal to win me, if you please,And in doing so, win me, if you’d like to,

  Without the which I am not to be won,But without that you’ll never win me

  You shall this twelvemonth term from day to dayDuring this twelve month term, every day, you will

  Visit the speechless sick and still converseVisit those that are too ill to speak and still have a conversation

  With groaning wretches; and your task shall be,with groaning sick people; and your task will be,

  With all the fierce endeavor of your witwith all the ability of your wit

  To enforce the pained impotent to smile.to cause these poor sick people to smile.

  BIRON To move wild laughter in the throat of death?To cause dying people to laugh?

  It cannot be; it is impossible:It can’t be; it’s impossible:

  Mirth cannot move a soul in agony.Jokes cannot cause an agonized soul to feel happy.

  ROSALINE Why, that's the way to choke a gibing spirit,

  Well, that’s the only way to stop a mocking spirit, Whose influence is begot of that loose gracewhose influence gets too much approval

  Which shallow laughing hearers give to fools:by people laughing shallowly at your foolish jokes:

  A jest's prosperity lies in the earA joke’s value lies in the way it’s heard

  Of him that hears it, never in the tongueby him that hears it, rather than the way it’s told

  Of him that makes it: then, if sickly ears,by the one who speaks it: then, if it’s heard by the sick

  Deaf'd with the clamours of their own dear groans,Deafened with the sound of their own groans,

  Will hear your idle scorns, continue then,will hear your dumb insults, then keep making them,

  And I will have you and that fault withal;and I will accept you and all of your faults;

  But if they will not, throw away that spirit,But if they don’t, stop your habit of mocking,

  And I shall find you empty of that fault,and I will find you free of flaws,

  Right joyful of your reformation.And happy to see you’ve changed.

  BIRON A twelvemonth! well; befall what will befall,

  Twelve months! Well; let happen what will happen, I'll jest a twelvemonth in an hospital.I’ll joke for twelve months in a hospital

  PRINCESS [To FERDINAND] Ay, sweet my lord; and so I take my leave.

  Ok, my sweet lord; I will leave now. FERDINAND No, madam; we will bring you on your way.

  No, madam; let us go with you a ways. BIRON Our wooing doth not end like an old play;Our attempts to win them over didn’t have a storybook ending

  Jack hath not Jill: these ladies' courtesyJack did not win Jill: these ladies’ manners

  Might well have made our sport a comedy.might have made our attempts a joke.

  FERDINAND Come, sir, it wants a twelvemonth and a day,

  Come on, sir, we have to wait twelve months and a day, And then 'twill end.And then our play will end.

  BIRON That's too long for a play.

  That’s too long for a play. Re-enter DON ADRIANO DE ARMADODON ADRIANO DE ARMADO Sweet majesty, vouchsafe me,--

  Sweet majesty, grant me,--PRINCESS Was not that Hector?

  Isn’t that Hector? DUMAIN The worthy knight of Troy.Hector, the worthy knight of Troy.


  DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO I will kiss thy royal finger, and take leave. I amI will kiss your royal finger, and leave. I have made a

  a votary; I have vowed to Jaquenetta to hold thereligious vow; I have vowed to Jaquenetta to work with a

  plough for her sweet love three years. But, mostplough to win her sweet love for three years. But, most

  esteemed greatness, will you hear the dialogue thathonorable king, will you hear that dialogue that

  the two learned men have compiled in praise of thethe two educated men came up with in praise of the

  owl and the cuckoo? It should have followed in theowl and the cuckoo? It was supposed to be at the

  end of our show.end of our show.

  FERDINAND Call them forth quickly; we will do so.

  Tell them to come quickly; we will hear it.

  DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO Holla! approach.

  Hey! Approach the stage. Re-enter HOLOFERNES, SIR NATHANIEL, MOTH, COSTARD, and othersThis side is Hiems, Winter, this Ver, the Spring;

  This character is Hiems, portraying winter, and this is Ver, portraying Spring;the one maintained by the owl, the other by the

  The winter is played by the owl, the other is played by thecuckoo. Ver, begin.

  Cuckoo. Ver, begin. THE SONGSPRING.When daisies pied and violets blue

  When multicolored daisies and blue violetsAnd lady-smocks all silver-whiteAnd silver-white lady’s smocks

  And cuckoo-buds of yellow hueAnd cuckoo-blossoms of a yellow hue

  Do paint the meadows with delight,Paint the meadows with delightful colors,

  The cuckoo then, on every tree,The cuckoo will then sit on every tree,

  Mocks married men; for thus sings he, Cuckoo;and Mock married men; for he sings like this, Cuckoo;

  Cuckoo, cuckoo: O word of fear,Cuckoo, cuckoo: O the scary word

  Unpleasing to a married ear!So unpleasant to someone who is married!

  When shepherds pipe on oaten strawsWhen shepherds chew on weeds

  And merry larks are ploughmen's clocks,And happy larks serve as clocks to the field workers,

  When turtles tread, and rooks, and daws,when turtles walk, and crows and jack-daws,

  And maidens bleach their summer smocksAnd maidens wash their summer dresses

  The cuckoo then, on every tree,The cuckoo will then sit on every tree,

  Mocks married men; for thus sings he, Cuckoo;and mock married men; for he sings like this, Cuckoo;

  Cuckoo, cuckoo: O word of fear,Cuckoo, cuckoo: O scary word

  Unpleasing to a married ear!So unpleasant to someone who is married!

  WINTER.When icicles hang by the wall

  When icicles have formed by the wallAnd Dick the shepherd blows his nailAnd Dick the shepherd blows on his hands to keep them warm

  And Tom bears logs into the hallAnd Tom brings logs into the hall

  And milk comes frozen home in pail,And milk is frozen in the pail by the time you bring it home

  When blood is nipp'd and ways be foul,When blood is cold and moods are foul,

  Then nightly sings the staring owl, Tu-whit;Then every night will sing the staring owl, Tu-whit;

  Tu-who, a merry note,Tu-who, a happy song,

  While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.While greasy Joan keeps stirring the pot.

  When all aloud the wind doth blowWhen the wind blows loudly

  And coughing drowns the parson's sawAnd winter coughs drown the parson’s snoring

  And birds sit brooding in the snowAnd birds sit unmoving in the snow

  And Marian's nose looks red and raw,And Marian’s nose appears red and raw,

  When roasted crabs hiss in the bowl,When roasted crabs hiss in the bowl,

  Then nightly sings the staring owl, Tu-whit;Then every night the staring owl will sing, Tu-whit;

  Tu-who, a merry note,Tu-who, a happy song,

  While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.While greasy Joan keeps stirring the pot.

  DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO The words of Mercury are harsh after the songs of

  The words of Hermes, god of eloquence, are harsh after the song of Apollo. You that way: we this way.Apollo, god of music: You go that way: we will go this way.

  Exeunt

  VICENTIO, Duke of Vienna

  ANGELO, Lord Deputy in the Duke's absence

  ESCALUS, an ancient Lord, joined with Angelo in the deputation

  CLAUDIO, a young Gentleman

  LUCIO, a Fantastic. Two other like Gentlemen

  VARRIUS, a Gentleman, Servant to the Duke

  PROVOST.

  THOMAS, friar

  PETER, friar

  A JUSTICE. ELBOW, a simple Constable

  FROTH, a foolish Gentleman

  CLOWN, Servant to Mistress Overdone

  ABHORSON, an Executioner

  BARNARDINE, a dissolute Prisoner.

  ISABELLA, Sister to Claudio

  MARIANA, betrothed to Angelo

  JULIET, beloved by Claudio

  FRANCISCA, a nun

  MISTRESS OVERDONE, a Bawd.

  Lords, Gentlemen, Guards, Officers, and other Attendants.

  Enter DUKE VINCENTIO, ESCALUS, Lords and Attendants

  DUKE VINCENTIO

  Escalus.

  ESCALUS

  My lord.

  DUKE VINCENTIO

  Of government the properties to unfold,

  To explain the qualities needed in governing well,Would seem in me to affect speech and discourse;

  Would make me seem enamored with the sound of my own voice;Since I am put to know that your own science

  Since I am obliged to admit that your own knowledgeExceeds, in that, the lists of all advice

  Of this exceeds the limits of all adviceMy strength can give you: then no more remains,

  That my strength can give you: then no more remains,But that to your sufficiency as your Worth is able,

  But that you put your adequacy and worth,And let them work. The nature of our people,

  To work. The nature of our people,Our city's institutions, and the terms

  Our city’s institutions, and the methods of the courts proceduresFor common justice, you're as pregnant in

  For common justice, you’re as full ofAs art and practise hath enriched any

  Art and practice as anyoneThat we remember. There is our commission,

  That we can remember. Here is our commission,From which we would not have you warp. Call hither,

  Which we don’t want you to alter. Call forthI say, bid come before us Angelo.

  I say, and call Angelo here.

  Exit an Attendant

  What figure of us think you he will bear?

  What you think he will think of us?For you must know, we have with special soul

  For you must know, we have with all the power of our hearts and mindsElected him our absence to supply,

  Chosen him to supply our absence,Lent him our terror, dress'd him with our love,

  Lent him our terror, dressed him with our love,And given his deputation all the organs

  And given him as deputy all the instrumentsOf our own power: what think you of it?

  Of our own power: what do you think of it?

  ESCALUS

  If any in Vienna be of worth

  If any in Vienna are worthyTo undergo such ample grace and honour,

  To bear the weight of such ample grace and honor,It is Lord Angelo.

  It is Lord Angelo.

  DUKE VINCENTIO

  Look where he comes.

  Here he comes.

  Enter ANGELO

  ANGELO

  Always obedient to your grace's will,

  Always obedient to your will,I come to know your pleasure.

  I come here to know what you need from me.

  DUKE VINCENTIO

  Angelo,There is a kind of character in thy life,

  There is a kind of written sign in your life,That to the observer doth thy history

  That tells the observer your historyFully unfold. Thyself
and thy belongings

  Completely. Yourself and your attributesAre not thine own so proper as to waste

  Are not your own so exclusively as to wasteThyself upon thy virtues, they on thee.

  Yourself on your virtues, they on you.Heaven doth with us as we with torches do,

  Heaven does with us as we do with torches,Not light them for themselves; for if our virtues

  Not light them for themselves; for if our virtuesDid not go forth of us, 'twere all alike

  Did not go before us, it would beAs if we had them not. Spirits are not finely touch'd

  As if we didn’t have them. Spirits are not finely endowedBut to fine issues, nor Nature never lends

  Except for fine purposes, nor does Nature ever lendThe smallest scruple of her excellence

  The smallest scruple of her excellenceBut, like a thrifty goddess, she determines

  Except when she, like a thrifty goddess, she assumesHerself the glory of a creditor,

  For herself the privileges of a creditor,Both thanks and use. But I do bend my speech

  Both thanks and use. But I do bend my speechTo one that can my part in him advertise;

  To one that already knows more than I know;Hold therefore, Angelo:--

  Hold therefore, Angelo:--In our remove be thou at full ourself;

  In our absence be in every respect myself;Mortality and mercy in Vienna

  Mortality and mercy in ViennaLive in thy tongue and heart: old Escalus,

  Live in your tongue and heart: old Escalus,Though first in question, is thy secondary.

  Thought senior and first appointed, is your right hand.Take thy commission.

  Take your commission.

  ANGELO

  Now, good my lord,

  Now, my good lord,Let there be some more test made of my metal,

  There should be some more test of my temper and quality,Before so noble and so great a figure

  Before such a noble and great figureBe stamp'd upon it.

  Is stamped upon it.