The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)
Page 310
Master Brook, that you have cozened of money, to
whom you should have been a pander: over and above
that you have suffered, I think to repay that money
will be a biting affliction.
Well, sir, we'll take you to Windsor, to see
Master Brook, that you cheated out of money, whom
you were supposed to pimp for: over and above
what you have suffered, I think it will sting you to repay
that money.
PAGE
Yet be cheerful, knight: thou shalt eat a posset
to-night at my house; where I will desire thee to
laugh at my wife, that now laughs at thee: tell her
Master Slender hath married her daughter.
But cheer up, knight: you shall eat a posset
tonight at my house; and there I will ask you to
laugh at my wife, who now laughs at you: you can tell her
Master Slender has married her daughter.
MISTRESS PAGE
[Aside] Doctors doubt that: if Anne Page be my
daughter, she is, by this, Doctor Caius' wife.
Enter SLENDER
Doctors doubt that: if Anne Page is my
daughter, she is, by this time, Doctor Caius' wife.
SLENDER
Whoa ho! ho, father Page!
Hello there! Hey, father Page!
PAGE
Son, how now! how now, son! have you dispatched?
Son, hello there! Hello, my son! Have you done the business?
SLENDER
Dispatched! I'll make the best in Gloucestershire
know on't; would I were hanged, la, else.
I've been done! I'll let the best people in Gloucestershire
know about it; otherwise let me be hanged.
PAGE
Of what, son?
About what, son?
SLENDER
I came yonder at Eton to marry Mistress Anne Page,
and she's a great lubberly boy. If it had not been
i' the church, I would have swinged him, or he
should have swinged me. If I did not think it had
been Anne Page, would I might never stir!--and 'tis
a postmaster's boy.
I went over to Eton to marry Mistress Anne Page,
and she turned out to be a great hulking lad. If we hadn't been
in the church, I would have thrashed him, or he
would have thrashed me. I swear I thought it was Anne Page–
and it was the postman's boy!
PAGE
Upon my life, then, you took the wrong.
Well I swear, you must've taken a wrong turn.
SLENDER
What need you tell me that? I think so, when I took
a boy for a girl. If I had been married to him, for
all he was in woman's apparel, I would not have had
him.
I don't need you to tell me that. I knew it when I mistook
a boy for a girl. If I had married him, even though
he was dressed as a woman, I would not have had him.
PAGE
Why, this is your own folly. Did not I tell you how
you should know my daughter by her garments?
Why, this is your own stupidity. Didn't I tell you how to
identify my daughter by her clothes?
SLENDER
I went to her in white, and cried 'mum,' and she
cried 'budget,' as Anne and I had appointed; and yet
it was not Anne, but a postmaster's boy.
I went to the one in white, and said ‘mum,’ and she
replied ‘budget,’ as Anne and I had arranged; and yet
it was not Anne, but the postman's boy.
MISTRESS PAGE
Good George, be not angry: I knew of your purpose;
turned my daughter into green; and, indeed, she is
now with the doctor at the deanery, and there married.
Enter DOCTOR CAIUS
Good George, don't be angry: I knew what you were up to;
I changed my daughter's clothes to green; and, in fact, she is
now with the doctor at the chapel, where she has married him.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Vere is Mistress Page? By gar, I am cozened: I ha'
married un garcon, a boy; un paysan, by gar, a boy;
it is not Anne Page: by gar, I am cozened.
Where is Mistress Page? By God, I have been cheated: I have
married un garcon, a boy; a peasant, by God, a boy;
it is not Anne Page: by God, I have been cheated.
MISTRESS PAGE
Why, did you take her in green?
Why, did you take the one in green?
DOCTOR CAIUS
Ay, by gar, and 'tis a boy: by gar, I'll raise all Windsor.
Exit
Yes, by God, and it's a boy: by God, I'll get all Windsor out of bed.
FORD
This is strange. Who hath got the right Anne?
This is strange. Who has got the real Anne?
PAGE
My heart misgives me: here comes Master Fenton.
Enter FENTON and ANNE PAGE
How now, Master Fenton!
I'm starting to get worried: here comes Master Fenton.
Hello there, Master Fenton!
ANNE PAGE
Pardon, good father! good my mother, pardon!
Forgive me, good father! My good mother, forgive me!
PAGE
Now, mistress, how chance you went not with Master Slender?
Now, mistress, why did you not go with Master Slender?
MISTRESS PAGE
Why went you not with master doctor, maid?
Why did you not go with master doctor, maid?
FENTON
You do amaze her: hear the truth of it.
You would have married her most shamefully,
Where there was no proportion held in love.
The truth is, she and I, long since contracted,
Are now so sure that nothing can dissolve us.
The offence is holy that she hath committed;
And this deceit loses the name of craft,
Of disobedience, or unduteous title,
Since therein she doth evitate and shun
A thousand irreligious cursed hours,
Which forced marriage would have brought upon her.
You are bewildering her: here's the story.
You would have married her in a very shameful way,
where there was no love.
The truth is that she and I, who have been engaged for ages,
are now joined so tight that nothing can tear us apart.
She has committed a holy sin;
and this trickery cannot be called cunning,
or disobedience, or lack of duty,
since by doing it she has avoided and rejected
a thousand hours of unholy behaviour
which a forced marriage would have brought her.
FORD
Stand not amazed; here is no remedy:
In love the heavens themselves do guide the state;
Money buys lands, and wives are sold by fate.
Don't be bewildered; there's nothing to be done:
the heavens themselves guide the path of love;
money buys land, wives are given by destiny.
FALSTAFF
I am glad, though you have ta'en a special stand to
strike at me, that your arrow hath glanced.
I'm glad, although you have made a special effort
to shoot at me, that you didn't hit the target full on.
PAGE
Well, what remedy? Fenton, heaven give thee joy!
What cannot be eschew'd must be embraced.
Well, what can be done? Fenton, may heaven bring you happiness!
What can't be cured must be endured.
FALSTAFF
When night-dogs run, all sorts of deer are chased.
When you hunt in the night, you don't always get the game you expected.
MISTRESS PAGE
Well, I will muse no further. Master Fenton,
Heaven give you many, many merry days!
Good husband, let us every one go home,
And laugh this sport o'er by a country fire;
Sir John and all.
Well, I have no more complaints. Master Fenton,
may heaven give you many many happy days!
Good husband, let's all go home,
and have a laugh about these games by a country fire;
Sir John and all.
FORD
Let it be so. Sir John,
To Master Brook you yet shall hold your word
For he tonight shall lie with Mistress Ford.
Exeunt
Let's do that. Sir John,
you will still keep your promise to Master Brook,
because tonight he shall sleep with Mistress Ford.
THESEUS, Duke of Athens.
EGEUS, Father to Hermia.
LYSANDER, in love with Hermia.
DEMETRIUS, in love with Hermia.
PHILOSTRATE, Master of the Revels to Theseus.
QUINCE, the Carpenter.
SNUG, the Joiner.
BOTTOM, the Weaver.
FLUTE, the Bellows-mender.
SNOUT, the Tinker.
STARVELING, the Tailor.
HIPPOLYTA, Queen of the Amazons, bethrothed to Theseus.
HERMIA, daughter to Egeus, in love with Lysander.
HELENA, in love with Demetrius.
OBERON, King of the Fairies.
TITANIA, Queen of the Fairies.
PUCK, or ROBIN GOODFELLOW, a Fairy.
PEASBLOSSOM, Fairy.
COBWEB, Fairy.
MOTH, Fairy.
MUSTARDSEED, Fairy.
PYRAMUS, THISBE, WALL, MOONSHINE, LION, Characters in the Interlude performed by the Clowns.
Other Fairies attending their King and Queen. Attendants on Theseus and Hippolyta.
The palace of THESEUS.
Enter THESEUS, HIPPOLYTA, PHILOSTRATE, and Attendants
THESEUS
Now, fair Hippolyta, our nuptial hour
My dear Hippolyta, our wedding day
Draws on apace; four happy days bring in
Is coming soon, in exactly four days, when there is
Another moon: but, O, methinks, how slow
a new moon: but too slowly
This old moon wanes! she lingers my desires,
is this moon waning! It is making me wait anxiously,
Like to a step-dame or a dowager
Like a step-mother or a widow
Long withering out a young man revenue.
makes a son wait for his inheritance.
HIPPOLYTA
Four days will quickly steep themselves in night;
But four days will quickly become four nights,
Four nights will quickly dream away the time;
And we will dream through the four nights,
And then the moon, like to a silver bow
And then the new moon, shaped like a silver bow
New-bent in heaven, shall behold the night
Pulled back in the sky, will look at the night
Of our solemnities.
That marks the day of our marriage.
THESEUS
Go, Philostrate,
Go, Philostrate,
Stir up the Athenian youth to merriments;
And get the young people of Athens to party.
Awake the pert and nimble spirit of mirth;
Wake up the city with an air of celebration
Turn melancholy forth to funerals;
And allow sadness only for funerals –
The pale companion is not for our pomp.
We do not need it mixed with our joy and festivities.
Exit PHILOSTRATE
Hippolyta, I woo'd thee with my sword,
Hippolyta, I courted you by sword in battle
And won thy love, doing thee injuries;
And won your love as I defeated and kidnapped you –
But I will wed thee in another key,
But our wedding will be different,
With pomp, with triumph and with revelling.
celebratory, triumphant, and joyful.
Enter EGEUS, HERMIA, LYSANDER, and DEMETRIUS
EGEUS
Happy be Theseus, our renowned duke!
I hope you are well, Duke Theseus!
THESEUS
Thanks, good Egeus: what's the news with thee?
Thank you, Egeus
EGEUS
Full of vexation come I, with complaint
I am confused and worried for
Against my child, my daughter Hermia.
Hermia, my daughter and child.
Stand forth, Demetrius. My noble lord,
Come forward, Demetrius. My Lord,
This man hath my consent to marry her.
I have agreed to this man marrying her.
Stand forth, Lysander: and my gracious duke,
Come forward, Lysander: and good duke,
This man hath bewitch'd the bosom of my child;
This man has tricked my daughter’s heart.
Thou, thou, Lysander, thou hast given her rhymes,
You, Lysander, you have written her poems,
And interchanged love-tokens with my child:
And given her trinkets and gifts:
Thou hast by moonlight at her window sung,
At night, below her window, you sang to her,
With feigning voice verses of feigning love,
Deceiving her with insincere lyrics of untrue love,
And stolen the impression of her fantasy
And have stirred her imagination
With bracelets of thy hair, rings, gawds, conceits,
With locks of hair, rings, toys, favors,
Knacks, trifles, nosegays, sweetmeats, messengers
Knickknacks, charms, flowers, and desserts, convincing
Of strong prevailment in unharden'd youth:
Signs to strongly sway a naive youth.
With cunning hast thou filch'd my daughter's heart,
Sneakily you have stolen my daughter’s love,
Turn'd her obedience, which is due to me,
So that she obeys you instead of me, and to me
To stubborn harshness: and, my gracious duke,
Acts stubbornly and rudely. And now, gracious duke,
Be it so she; will not here before your grace
I ask that you let me, if she will not here
Consent to marry with Demetrius,
Agree to marrying Demetrius,
I beg the ancient privilege of Athens,
Do what I am allowed as an Athenian father,
As she is mine, I may dispose of her:
Who owns his daughter, and send her away:
Which shall be either to this gentleman
Either to marry Demetrius,
Or to her death, according to our law
Or to die, according to the law.
Immediately provided in that case.
THESEUS
What say you, Hermia? be advised fair maid:
Well, Hermia – how do you respond? Know this:
To you your father should be as a god;
Your father should be thought of as your god –
One that composed your beauties, yea, and one
He created you, as beautiful as you are, and
To whom you are but as a form in wax
So you are only a wax model
By him imprinted and within his power
That he has signed as the artist, and as such
To leave the figure or disfigure it.
He may leave it untouched, or demolish it.
Demetrius is a worthy gentleman.
Demetrius is well worth
marrying.
HERMIA
So is Lysander.
But Lysander is as well.
THESEUS
In himself he is;
Yes, outside of this situation he is,
But in this kind, wanting your father's voice,
But considering your father’s opinion
The other must be held the worthier.
Demetrius is the better man.
HERMIA
I would my father look'd but with my eyes.
I wish my father could see this as I do!
THESEUS
Rather your eyes must with his judgment look.
No, you should instead see it as he does.
HERMIA
I do entreat your grace to pardon me.
Please forgive me for what I am going to say.
I know not by what power I am made bold,
I do not know how I feel so confident to speak honestly,
Nor how it may concern my modesty,
or how much I am overstepping my place and being ill-mannered,
In such a presence here to plead my thoughts;
And bring my case to you who are my authority;
But I beseech your grace that I may know
But I ask, because I wish to know for sure,
The worst that may befall me in this case,
What is the worst that might happen to me
If I refuse to wed Demetrius.
If I refuse to marry Demetrius?
THESEUS
Either to die the death or to abjure
You must either die or be banished
For ever the society of men.
From marrying and sent to a nunnery.
Therefore, fair Hermia, question your desires;
So, beautiful Hermia, step back and search yourself,
Know of your youth, examine well your blood,