The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

by William Shakespeare

  I hope Demetrius returns the love you give to him!

  Exit

  HELENA

  How happy some o'er other some can be!

  Some are so much happier than others!

  Through Athens I am thought as fair as she.

  In Athens, many think me as beautiful as Hermia,

  But what of that? Demetrius thinks not so;

  But what does that mean since Demetrius does not?

  He will not know what all but he do know:

  He does not accept what everyone else seems to agree on

  And as he errs, doting on Hermia's eyes,

  And while he mistakenly obsesses over Hermia’s eyes

  So I, admiring of his qualities:

  So too I am mistaken in admiring him.

  Things base and vile, folding no quantity,

  Evil and disgusting qualities

  Love can transpose to form and dignity:

  Are transformed by love to fair and noble things.

  Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind;

  Love does not look with the same eyes others have, but with one’s mind:

  And therefore is wing'd Cupid painted blind:

  This is why Cupid is painted as being blind

  Nor hath Love's mind of any judgement taste;

  And why Love does not have good judgement.

  Wings and no eyes figure unheedy haste:

  With wings and no eyes, Cupid is hasty

  And therefore is Love said to be a child,

  And so Love is like a child

  Because in choice he is so oft beguiled.

  Making bad and reckless choices.

  As waggish boys in game themselves forswear,

  As playful boys jokingly lie,

  So the boy Love is perjured every where:

  So too does Love lie and break its promises:

  For ere Demetrius look'd on Hermia's eyne,

  Before Demetrius fell for Hermia’s beauty,

  He hail'd down oaths that he was only mine;

  He swore repeatedly to be true to me,

  And when this hail some heat from Hermia felt,

  And then when Hermia’s presence came into his mind,

  So he dissolved, and showers of oaths did melt.

  He weakened his vows to me.

  I will go tell him of fair Hermia's flight:

  I will tell him of Hermia’s plan

  Then to the wood will he to-morrow night

  And tomorrow night he will go to the forest

  Pursue her; and for this intelligence

  And follow her. Perhaps, after telling him this,

  If I have thanks, it is a dear expense:

  He will be grateful, and that will make it worthwhile,

  But herein mean I to enrich my pain,

  Although it will hurt me even more

  To have his sight thither and back again.

  To see him leave and then return again.

  Exit

  Athens. QUINCE'S house.

  Enter QUINCE, SNUG, BOTTOM, FLUTE, SNOUT, and STARVELING

  QUINCE

  Is all our company here?

  Is everyone here?

  BOTTOM

  You were best to call them generally, man by man,

  It would be easier to take attendance individually

  according to the scrip.

  by a roll-call.

  QUINCE

  Here is the scroll of every man's name, which is

  Here is the list of the actors

  thought fit, through all Athens, to play in our

  that all of Athens considers talented and are able to perform

  interlude before the duke and the duchess, on his

  in our skit for the duke and duchess

  wedding-day at night.

  at their wedding.

  BOTTOM

  First, good Peter Quince, say what the play treats

  Peter Quince, you should first explain what the play is about,

  on, then read the names of the actors, and so grow

  and then read the cast,

  to a point.

  for clarity’s sake.

  QUINCE

  Marry, our play is, The most lamentable comedy, and

  Of course: we will perform “The Sad Comedy and

  most cruel death of Pyramus and Thisby.

  Cruel Death of Pyramus and Thisby.”

  BOTTOM

  A very good piece of work, I assure you, and a

  A very good play, I promise, and

  merry. Now, good Peter Quince, call forth your

  fun. Now, Peter Quince, call out

  actors by the scroll. Masters, spread yourselves.

  the actors. Everyone, spread out so you can hear.

  QUINCE

  Answer as I call you. Nick Bottom, the weaver.

  Respond when I call you. Nick Bottom, the weaver.

  BOTTOM

  Ready. Name what part I am for, and proceed.

  I’m here. Who am I playing?

  QUINCE

  You, Nick Bottom, are set down for Pyramus.

  You will play Pyramus.

  BOTTOM

  What is Pyramus? a lover, or a tyrant?

  And who is he? A lover, a villain?

  QUINCE

  A lover, that kills himself most gallant for love.

  A lover who nobly kills himself for love.

  BOTTOM

  That will ask some tears in the true performing of

  It sounds like I will have to cry in order to perform it well.

  it: if I do it, let the audience look to their

  If so, the audience should prepare themselves:

  eyes; I will move storms, I will condole in some

  I will cause storms and strongly emote my grief.

  measure. To the rest: yet my chief humour is for a

  Now continue– but you know I play

  tyrant: I could play Ercles rarely, or a part to

  the tyrant best. I would make a good Hercules, or any part

  tear a cat in, to make all split.

  where I could yell and shout angrily, listen:

  The raging rocks

  And shivering shocks

  Shall break the locks

  Of prison gates;

  And Phibbus' car

  Shall shine from far

  And make and mar

  The foolish Fates.

  This was lofty! Now name the rest of the players.

  How great was that! Now continue with the other actors–

  This is Ercles' vein, a tyrant's vein; a lover is

  so you know, that was Hercules as a tyrant. My lover part

  more condoling.

  will be much sadder.

  QUINCE

  Francis Flute, the bellows-mender.

  Francis Flute, who repairs bellows.

  FLUTE

  Here, Peter Quince.

  Here, Peter Quince.

  QUINCE

  Flute, you must take Thisby on you.

  Flute, you will play Thisby.

  FLUTE

  What is Thisby? a wandering knight?

  And who is Thisby? A knight on a quest?

  QUINCE

  It is the lady that Pyramus must love.

  Thisby is the lady Pyramus loves.

  FLUTE

  Nay, faith, let me not play a woman; I have a beard coming.

  No, please, do not make me play a woman. I have a beard coming in.

  QUINCE

  That's all one: you shall play it in a mask, and

  That doesn’t matter – you will play it in a mask

  you may speak as small as you will.

  and you can make your voice high and disguised.

  BOTTOM

  An I may hide my face, let me play Thisby too, I'll

  If Thisby requires a mask, let me play both!

  speak in a monstrous little voice. 'Thisne,

  I’ll speak in a little voice after playin
g Pyramus, saying,

  Thisne;' 'Ah, Pyramus, lover dear! thy Thisby dear,

  “Thisne! Thisne!” and then as Thisby, “Pyramus my love! I am here,

  and lady dear!'

  your dear lady!”

  QUINCE

  No, no; you must play Pyramus: and, Flute, you Thisby.

  No – you will be Pyramus, and Flute will be Thisby.

  BOTTOM

  Well, proceed.

  Fine, continue.

  QUINCE

  Robin Starveling, the tailor.

  Robin Starveling, the tailor.

  STARVELING

  Here, Peter Quince.

  Here, Peter Quince.

  QUINCE

  Robin Starveling, you must play Thisby's mother.

  Robyn, you must be Thisby’s mother.

  Tom Snout, the tinker.

  Tom Snout, the repairman.

  SNOUT

  Here, Peter Quince.

  Here, Peter Quince.

  QUINCE

  You, Pyramus' father: myself, Thisby's father:

  You are Pyramus father, and I will play Thisby’s father.

  Snug, the joiner; you, the lion's part: and, I

  Snug the wood worker, you will be the lion, and

  hope, here is a play fitted.

  I think that is everyone.

  SNUG

  Have you the lion's part written? pray you, if it

  Is the lion’s part finished? If so, please

  be, give it me, for I am slow of study.

  let me have it. It takes me a while to learn the lines.

  QUINCE

  You may do it extempore, for it is nothing but roaring.

  You can make it all up, because it is simply roaring.

  BOTTOM

  Let me play the lion too: I will roar, that I will

  Then let me play the lion as well. I will roar

  do any man's heart good to hear me; I will roar,

  so forcefully and everyone will love it,

  that I will make the duke say 'Let him roar again,

  and the duke will ask for me to roar

  let him roar again.'

  again and again.

  QUINCE

  An you should do it too terribly, you would fright

  Then you would be too ferocious, and scare

  the duchess and the ladies, that they would shriek;

  the duchess and the women, and they would scream.

  and that were enough to hang us all.

  That would be enough to hang us all.

  ALL

  That would hang us, every mother's son.

  They would hang every one of us!

  BOTTOM

  I grant you, friends, if that you should fright the

  Granted, if I were to scare

  ladies out of their wits, they would have no more

  the women out of their minds, they would

  discretion but to hang us: but I will aggravate my

  surely hang us – but then I would change my

  voice so that I will roar you as gently as any

  voice so that my roar will be as gentle

  sucking dove; I will roar you an 'twere any

  as a dove, and when I roar you will think I was

  nightingale.

  a nightingale.

  QUINCE

  You can play no part but Pyramus; for Pyramus is a

  You will play only Pyramus since Pyramus

  sweet-faced man; a proper man, as one shall see in a

  is a good lucking man, a noble man like one you would

  summer's day; a most lovely gentleman-like man:

  find in the summer, a handsome and chivalrous man.

  therefore you must needs play Pyramus.

  You are the only one who can be such a man.

  BOTTOM

  Well, I will undertake it. What beard were I best

  Fine, I will do it. And how would you like my beard

  to play it in?

  to look for the part?

  QUINCE

  Why, what you will.

  However you want.

  BOTTOM

  I will discharge it in either your straw-colour

  I could wear a straw colored

  beard, your orange-tawny beard, your purple-in-grain

  beard, or an orange-red one, or a darker red

  beard, or your French-crown-colour beard, your

  beard, or one as yellow as the French coin called a crown.

  perfect yellow.

  QUINCE

  Some of your French crowns have no hair at all, and

  Some French kings have no hair at all,

  then you will play bare-faced. But, masters, here

  so you would have to go without a beard. Anyway, here

  are your parts: and I am to entreat you, request

  is everyone’s part. I must beg and ask

  you and desire you, to con them by to-morrow night;

  you all to learn them by tomorrow night.

  and meet me in the palace wood, a mile without the

  We will meet in the forest, about a mile

  town, by moonlight; there will we rehearse, for if

  from town, and rehearse by the moonlight. If

  we meet in the city, we shall be dogged with

  we were to meet in the city, people would discover us

  company, and our devices known. In the meantime I

  and the play, and ruin it. In the meantime,

  will draw a bill of properties, such as our play

  I will list everything we need for the play.

  wants. I pray you, fail me not.

  Please, do everything I ask.

  BOTTOM

  We will meet; and there we may rehearse most

  We will meet and rehearse

  obscenely and courageously. Take pains; be perfect: adieu.

  loudly and wonderfully. Work hard. Learn it perfectly. Goodbye.

  QUINCE

  At the duke's oak we meet.

  In the forest by the palace we will meet.

  BOTTOM

  Enough; hold or cut bow-strings.

  Ok, be there or do not meet us again.

  Exeunt

  A wood near Athens.

  Enter, from opposite sides, a FAIRY, and PUCK

  PUCK

  How now, spirit! whither wander you?

  Hello, spirit! Where are you going?

  FAIRY

  Over hill, over dale,

  Over hill and valley

  Thorough bush, thorough brier,

  and through the bush and thorns,

  Over park, over pale,

  over parks and gardens

  Thorough flood, thorough fire,

  and through the water and the fire.

  I do wander everywhere,

  I go everywhere

  Swifter than the moon's sphere;

  faster than it takes the moon to rise and fall

  And I serve the fairy queen,

  In order to serve the queen of the fairies

  To dew her orbs upon the green.

  By watering the flowers with dew.

  The cowslips tall her pensioners be:

  The cowslip flowers guard her –

  In their gold coats spots you see;

  Do you see the spots in their golden petals?

  Those be rubies, fairy favours,

  Those are rubies, fairy gifts,

  In those freckles live their savours:

  And that is where their sweet smell comes from.

  I must go seek some dewdrops here

  I must find some dewdrops

  And hang a pearl in every cowslip's ear.

  And hang one on each cowslip flower.

  Farewell, thou lob of spirits; I'll be gone:

  Goodbye, you bad fairy – I must leave

  Our queen and all our elves come here anon.

  Since the queen and the elves will be here soon.

  PUCK

  The
king doth keep his revels here to-night:

  The king is having a party here tonight

  Take heed the queen come not within his sight;

  So be careful to keep the queen away –

  For Oberon is passing fell and wrath,

  King Oberon is very angry

  Because that she as her attendant hath

  Since Queen Titania took a new servant,

  A lovely boy, stolen from an Indian king;

  A beautiful human boy stolen from an Indian king.

  She never had so sweet a changeling;

  She had never stolen so sweet an orphan

  And jealous Oberon would have the child

  And so Oberon is jealous and desires the boy

  Knight of his train, to trace the forests wild;

  As his servant when he wanders the wild forests.

  But she perforce withholds the loved boy,

  The queen refuses to give him her boy

  Crowns him with flowers and makes him all her joy:

  And dotes on him, putting flowers in his hair.

  And now they never meet in grove or green,

  Now, they never meet together in the woods

  By fountain clear, or spangled starlight sheen,

  Or by a clear pond, or under the night sky,

  But, they do square, that all their elves for fear

  Except to argue so fiercely that their elves

  Creep into acorn-cups and hide them there.

  Hide in acorn shells from them.

  FAIRY

  Either I mistake your shape and making quite,

  Either I am mistaken

  Or else you are that shrewd and knavish sprite

  Or you are that cunning prankster fairy

  Call'd Robin Goodfellow: are not you he

  Named Robin Goodfellow. Isn’t it you

  That frights the maidens of the villagery;

  Who scares the women in the village,

  Skim milk, and sometimes labour in the quern

  Who skims the cream off of the milk, and sometimes increase the work

  And bootless make the breathless housewife churn;

  Of the housewife who is trying to churn butter

  And sometime make the drink to bear no barm;

  By making it stay milk?