The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)
Page 316
That’s “Ninus’ tomb,” Flute, and you aren’t supposed to say that
yet; that you answer to Pyramus: you speak all your
yet. That’s your response to Pyramus: first you say
part at once, cues and all Pyramus enter: your cue
your part, and after Pyramus enters again, your cue
is past; it is, 'never tire.'
passes at “never tire,” that is your last line before Pyramus speaks again.
FLUTE
O,--As true as truest horse, that yet would
I see -- As dependable as the best horse that
never tire.
never gets tired,
Re-enter PUCK, and BOTTOM with an ass's head
BOTTOM
If I were fair, Thisby, I were only thine.
If I were the most handsome man, Thisbuy, you would still be my one and only.
QUINCE
O monstrous! O strange! we are haunted. Pray,
How awful! How strange! We are being haunted! Everyone,
masters! fly, masters! Help!
pray and run away! Help!
Exeunt QUINCE, SNUG, FLUTE, SNOUT, and STARVELING
PUCK
I'll follow you, I'll lead you about a round,
I’ll follow you and lead you in a circle,
Through bog, through bush, through brake, through brier:
Through bogs and bushes, through thickets and thorns:
Sometime a horse I'll be, sometime a hound,
Sometimes I’ll be a horse, and sometimes a dog,
A hog, a headless bear, sometime a fire;
Sometimes a pig, or a headless bear, or a fire,
And neigh, and bark, and grunt, and roar, and burn,
And I will neigh, bark, grunt, roar and burn,
Like horse, hound, hog, bear, fire, at every turn.
Like each of those things to scare you common-folk.
Exit
BOTTOM
Why do they run away? this is a knavery of them to
Why are they running away? This is some mean joke
make me afeard.
they are doing to scare me.
Re-enter SNOUT
SNOUT
O Bottom, thou art changed! what do I see on thee?
Bottom, you have been turned into something else! What is this on your neck?
BOTTOM
What do you see? you see an asshead of your own, do
What are you talking about? You are acting like an ass.
you?
Exit SNOUT
Re-enter QUINCE
QUINCE
Bless thee, Bottom! bless thee! thou art
God bless you, Bottom! You have been
translated.
changed into something else!
Exit
BOTTOM
I see their knavery: this is to make an ass of me;
I see right through their joke. They are trying to make me a fool
to fright me, if they could. But I will not stir
and frighten me, but I will not leave
from this place, do what they can: I will walk up
here, no matter what they do to me. I will walk all
and down here, and I will sing, that they shall hear
around, and I will sing, and they will hear me and know
I am not afraid.
that I am not afraid.
Sings
The ousel cock so black of hue,
The blackbird, feathers so black,
With orange-tawny bill,
With a dark brown bill,
The throstle with his note so true,
The thrush with his pure song
The wren with little quill,--
And the wren with its small feathers--
TITANIA
[Awaking] What angel wakes me from my flowery bed?
Who is this waking me from my bed of flowers with the voice of an angel?
BOTTOM
[Sings]
The finch, the sparrow and the lark,
The finch, the sparrow, and the lark,
The plain-song cuckoo gray,
The gray cuckoo who sings a plain song,
Whose note full many a man doth mark,
Whose words many men hear
And dares not answer nay;--
And do not dare to say no to --
for, indeed, who would set his wit to so foolish
Because really, who would be rash enough to set himself agains such a silly
a bird? who would give a bird the lie, though he cry
bird? Who would so completely doubt the bird and think his cry
'cuckoo' never so?
that points out the cuckold is wrong?
TITANIA
I pray thee, gentle mortal, sing again:
Please, mortal human, sing again;
Mine ear is much enamour'd of thy note;
I love to hear your beautiful voice,
So is mine eye enthralled to thy shape;
And I love to look on your handsome shape.
And thy fair virtue's force perforce doth move me
All of your good qualities move me
On the first view to say, to swear, I love thee.
On first sight and they make me swear that I love you.
BOTTOM
Methinks, mistress, you should have little reason
Lady, I think you have very little reason
for that: and yet, to say the truth, reason and
for that. But on the other hand, truth, reason, and
love keep little company together now-a-days; the
love do not often go together...
more the pity that some honest neighbours will not
it’s too bad some mutual neighbors do not
make them friends. Nay, I can gleek upon occasion.
introduce them to each other. Oh but I am only joking.
TITANIA
Thou art as wise as thou art beautiful.
You are as wise as you are beautiful.
BOTTOM
Not so, neither: but if I had wit enough to get out
I am not that either. But if I had enough brains to get out
of this wood, I have enough to serve mine own turn.
of this forest, I would have enough for my life.
TITANIA
Out of this wood do not desire to go:
Do not wish to leave this forest:
Thou shalt remain here, whether thou wilt or no.
You will stay here, whether you want to or not.
I am a spirit of no common rate;
I am not some common spirit –
The summer still doth tend upon my state;
Even the summer does what I want it to –
And I do love thee: therefore, go with me;
And I love you, so you will come with me.
I'll give thee fairies to attend on thee,
I will give you fairies to be your servants
And they shall fetch thee jewels from the deep,
And they will get you jewels from the ocean
And sing while thou on pressed flowers dost sleep;
And sing while you sleep on the flowers.
And I will purge thy mortal grossness so
I will purge your mortal humanness
That thou shalt like an airy spirit go.
Until you are a spirit like me.
Peaseblossom! Cobweb! Moth! and Mustardseed!
Peaseblossom, Cobweb, Moth, and Mustardseed!
Enter PEASEBLOSSOM, COBWEB, MOTH, and MUSTARDSEED
PEASEBLOSSOM
Ready.
I’m ready.
COBWEB
And I.
Me too.
MOTH
And I.
Me too.
MUSTARDSEED
And I.
And me.
ALL
Where shall we go?
Where should we go?
TI
TANIA
Be kind and courteous to this gentleman;
Treat this man kindly and politely.
Hop in his walks and gambol in his eyes;
Jump and dance in front of him,
Feed him with apricocks and dewberries,
Feed him apricots and blackberries,
With purple grapes, green figs, and mulberries;
And grapes, figs, and mulberries.
The honey-bags steal from the humble-bees,
Steal honey from the bumblebees for him
And for night-tapers crop their waxen thighs
And make candles from their wax
And light them at the fiery glow-worm's eyes,
Which you can light with the glowworm’s eyes,
To have my love to bed and to arise;
So my love will have light when he goes to bed and wakes up.
And pluck the wings from Painted butterflies
Pluck the wings of butterflies
To fan the moonbeams from his sleeping eyes:
And use them to keep the bright moonbeams from his eyes when he is asleep.
Nod to him, elves, and do him courtesies.
Bow to him, my fairy elves, and do what he wishes.
PEASEBLOSSOM
Hail, mortal!
Hello, human!
COBWEB
Hail!
Hello!
MOTH
Hail!
Hello!
MUSTARDSEED
Hail!
Hello!
BOTTOM
I cry your worships’ mercy, heartily: I beseech your
Please, you fairies, tell me, what
worship's name.
are your names?
COBWEB
Cobweb.
Cobweb.
BOTTOM
I shall desire you of more acquaintance, good Master
I hope to get to know you better, Master
Cobweb: if I cut my finger, I shall make bold with
Cobweb. If I cut my finger, I can use you to bandage the wound.
you. Your name, honest gentleman?
And what is your name?
PEASEBLOSSOM
Peaseblossom.
Peaseblossom.
BOTTOM
I pray you, commend me to Mistress Squash, your
Do give my regards to your mother Mistress Squash
mother, and to Master Peascod, your father. Good
and your father, Master Peascod. I hope
Master Peaseblossom, I shall desire you of more
to know you better as well Master Peaseblossom.
acquaintance too. Your name, I beseech you, sir?
And your name?
MUSTARDSEED
Mustardseed.
Mustardseed.
BOTTOM
Good Master Mustardseed, I know your patience well:
Master Mustardseed, I know how patient you are:
that same cowardly, giant-like ox-beef hath
cuts of cow and ox have ended many
devoured many a gentleman of your house: I promise
of your relatives’ lives because of their use as a condiment on the meat. And to me,
you your kindred had made my eyes water ere now. I
your relatives have made my eyes water from their pungent scent. I
desire your more acquaintance, good Master
hope to know you better, good Master
Mustardseed.
Mustardseed.
TITANIA
Come, wait upon him; lead him to my bower.
Come and wait on him, and lead him to my room.
The moon methinks looks with a watery eye;
I think the moon looks like it does when the sky is about to rain:
And when she weeps, weeps every little flower,
And when the moon rains, every little flower does as well,
Lamenting some enforced chastity.
Both grieving from being forced to abstain from sex.
Tie up my love's tongue bring him silently.
Keep my love quiet, and bring him quietly.
Exeunt
Another part of the wood.
Enter OBERON
OBERON
I wonder if Titania be awaked;
I wonder if Titania has awoken yet.
Then, what it was that next came in her eye,
And then I wonder what came into her vision,
Which she must dote on in extremity.
What it is she is forced to love so extremely.
Enter PUCK
Here comes my messenger.
Here comes my messanger.
How now, mad spirit!
How are things, crazy spirit?
What night-rule now about this haunted grove?
What trouble have you created in this haunted forest?
PUCK
My mistress with a monster is in love.
Queen Titania is in love with a monster.
Near to her close and consecrated bower,
Near to where she sleeps,
While she was in her dull and sleeping hour,
And while she was still fast asleep,
A crew of patches, rude mechanicals,
A collective of commoners
That work for bread upon Athenian stalls,
That work for each day’s bread in Athens,
Were met together to rehearse a play
Met together to rehearse a play
Intended for great Theseus' nuptial-day.
They intend to perform for Theseus’ wedding.
The shallowest thick-skin of that barren sort,
The dumbest of that ugly group,
Who Pyramus presented, in their sport
Who play Pyramus,
Forsook his scene and enter'd in a brake
Left after his scene and went behind some bushes
When I did him at this advantage take,
Which is where I took advantage of him
An ass's nole I fixed on his head:
By changing his head into that of a donkey.
Anon his Thisbe must be answered,
Soon enough, Thisby called him out
And forth my mimic comes. When they him spy,
And he came forth, donkey head and all. When the group saw him,
As wild geese that the creeping fowler eye,
Like wild geese that see the hunter,
Or russet-pated choughs, many in sort,
Or spotted crows in a group,
Rising and cawing at the gun's report,
Rising from the ground and cawing at the sound of a gun,
Sever themselves and madly sweep the sky,
Break from the group and fly quickly away,
So, at his sight, away his fellows fly;
So to, at sight of him, his friends ran away.
And, at our stamp, here o'er and o'er one falls;
And of course here one falls again and again,
He murder cries and help from Athens calls.
While another cries out “Murder!” and seeks help from Athens.
Their sense thus weak, lost with their fears thus strong,
With their senses now weakened from their strong fear,
Made senseless things begin to do them wrong;
They made whatever was around them hurt them:
For briers and thorns at their apparel snatch;
Thorns and briars caught at their clothes,
Some sleeves, some hats, from yielders all things catch.
And sleeves and hats.
I led them on in this distracted fear,
I led them away, scared like this,
And left sweet Pyramus translated there:
And left Pyramus standing there, his head a donkey’s,
When in that moment, so it came to pass,
When right at that moment, incredibly,
Titania waked and straightway loved an ass.
Titania woke up and began to love t
his donkey-man.
OBERON
This falls out better than I could devise.
This is better than I could have planned myself.
But hast thou yet latch'd the Athenian's eyes
And did you put the potion on the Athenian’s eyes
With the love-juice, as I did bid thee do?
Like I asked you to?
PUCK
I took him sleeping,--that is finish'd too,--
I found him already asleep and finished that as well,
And the Athenian woman by his side:
The Athenian woman sleeping next to him.
That, when he waked, of force she must be eyed.
So when he wakes, she will be the one he sees.
Enter HERMIA and DEMETRIUS
OBERON
Stand close: this is the same Athenian.
Stay here, this is the same Athenian I saw earlier.
PUCK
This is the woman, but not this the man.
This is the same woman... but this is not the man I saw.
DEMETRIUS
O, why rebuke you him that loves you so?
Oh why do you scold the man who loves you so much?
Lay breath so bitter on your bitter foe.
Save your cruel words for a cruel enemy.
HERMIA
Now I but chide; but I should use thee worse,
This is nothing, but I should be treating you worse
For thou, I fear, hast given me cause to curse,
Because I’m afraid you have given me reason to curse you.
If thou hast slain Lysander in his sleep,
If you have killed Lysander while he was asleep,
Being o'er shoes in blood, plunge in the deep,
Then, since you are already walking in blood, continue on
And kill me too.
And kill me too.
The sun was not so true unto the day
The sun didn’t shine on the day as steadily
As he to me: would he have stolen away
As he loved me: why would he have left
From sleeping Hermia? I'll believe as soon
Me while sleeping? I will believe that he did that as soon
This whole earth may be bored and that the moon