The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

by William Shakespeare

  Say you will race; your greyhounds are as quick

  As breathed stags; ay, fleeter than the roe.

  As male deer; indeed, more nimble than female deer.

  SECOND SERVANT. Dost thou love pictures?

  Do you love pictures?

  We will fetch thee straight

  We will fetch for you straightaway

  Adonis painted by a running brook,

  And Cytherea all in sedges hid,

  And Cytherea all hidden in the foliage,

  Which seem to move and wanton with her breath

  Which seem to move and dance with her breath

  Even as the waving sedges play with wind.

  The same way as the waving leaves play with wind.

  LORD. We'll show thee Io as she was a maid

  We'll show you Io as she was a young woman

  And how she was beguiled and surpris'd,

  And how she was tricked and surprised,

  As lively painted as the deed was done.

  Painted like it is happening right in front of you.

  THIRD SERVANT. Or Daphne roaming through a thorny wood,

  Scratching her legs, that one shall swear she bleeds

  And at that sight shall sad Apollo weep,

  So workmanly the blood and tears are drawn.

  The blood and tears are drawn with such skill.

  LORD. Thou art a lord, and nothing but a lord:

  You are a lord, and nothing but a lord:

  Thou hast a lady far more beautiful

  You are married to a lady for more beautiful

  Than any woman in this waning age.

  Than any other woman in these tough times.

  FIRST SERVANT.

  And, till the tears that she hath shed for thee

  And, until the tears she has shed for you

  Like envious floods o'er-run her lovely face,

  Like jealous floods overran her lovely face,

  She was the fairest creature in the world;

  She was the most beautiful creature in the world;

  And yet she is inferior to none.

  And yet there are still none better than her.

  SLY. Am I a lord? and have I such a lady?

  Or do I dream? Or have I dream'd till now?

  Or am I dreaming? Or have I dreamed until now?

  I do not sleep: I see, I hear, I speak;

  I smell sweet savours, and I feel soft things:

  I smell sweet scents, and I feel soft things:

  Upon my life, I am a lord indeed;

  And not a tinker, nor Christophero Sly.

  Well, bring our lady hither to our sight;

  Well, bring our lady here to see us;

  And once again, a pot o' the smallest ale.

  And once again, a glass of the cheapest beer.

  SECOND SERVANT. Will't please your mightiness to wash your hands?

  Will it please your mightiness to wash your hands?

  [Servants present a ewer, basin, and napkin.]

  [Servants present a jug, basin, and towel.]

  O, how we joy to see your wit restor'd!

  Oh, how glad we are to see you come to your senses!

  O, that once more you knew but what you are!

  Oh, that you know once again who you are!

  These fifteen years you have been in a dream,

  For the past fifteen years you have been dreaming,

  Or, when you wak'd, so wak'd as if you slept.

  Or, when you were awake, it was still as if you were sleeping.

  SLY. These fifteen years! by my fay, a goodly nap. But did I never speak of all that time?

  For the past fifteen years! My, what a nap. But did I never speak during all that time?

  FIRST SERVANT. O! yes, my lord, but very idle words;

  Oh yes, my lord, but very useless things;

  For though you lay here in this goodly chamber,

  For though you lay here in this good room,

  Yet would you say ye were beaten out of door,

  Yet you would say you were chased outdoors,

  And rail upon the hostess of the house,

  And yell at the hostess of the house,

  And say you would present her at the leet,

  And say you would take her to court,

  Because she brought stone jugs and no seal'd quarts.

  Because she did not bring the jugs you wanted.

  Sometimes you would call out for Cicely Hacket.

  SLY. Ay, the woman's maid of the house.

  Yes, the woman's maid of the house.

  THIRD SERVANT. Why, sir, you know no house nor no such maid,

  Why, sir, you have never known such a place or such a maid,

  Nor no such men as you have reckon'd up,

  And no such men as you have imagined,

  As Stephen Sly, and old John Naps of Greece,

  And Peter Turf, and Henry Pimpernell;

  And twenty more such names and men as these,

  Which never were, nor no man ever saw.

  Which never existed, and no man ever saw.

  SLY. Now, Lord be thanked for my good amends!

  Now, thank God for my recovery!

  ALL. Amen.

  SLY. I thank thee; thou shalt not lose by it.

  I thank you; you will not lose by it.

  [Enter the PAGE, as a lady, with ATTENDANTS.]

  PAGE. How fares my noble lord?

  How is my noble lord?

  SLY. Marry, I fare well; for here is cheer enough. Where is my wife?

  By Mary, I am doing well; for it is pleasant enough here. Where is my wife?

  PAGE. Here, noble lord: what is thy will with her?

  Here, noble lord: what do you want with her?

  SLY. Are you my wife, and will not call me husband? My men should call me lord: I am your goodman.

  PAGE. My husband and my lord, my lord and husband; I am your wife in all obedience.

  SLY. I know it well. What must I call her?

  LORD. Madam.

  SLY. Al'ce madam, or Joan madam?

  Alice madam, or Joan madam?

  LORD. Madam, and nothing else; so lords call ladies.

  Madam, and nothing else; that is what lords call ladies.

  SLY. Madam wife, they say that I have dream'd

  Madam wife, they say that I have dreamed

  And slept above some fifteen year or more.

  And slept here some fifteen years or more.

  PAGE. Ay, and the time seems thirty unto me,

  Yes, and that time has seemed like thirty years to me,

  Being all this time abandon'd from your bed.

  Having been all this time abandoned from your bed.

  SLY. 'Tis much. Servants, leave me and her alone. Madam, undress you, and come now to bed.

  It it much. Servants, leave me and her alone. Madam, get undressed, and come now to bed.

  PAGE. Thrice noble lord, let me entreat of you

  Three times noble lord, let me persuade you

  To pardon me yet for a night or two;

  To leave me alone for a night or two;

  Or, if not so, until the sun be set:

  Or, if not, until the sun has set:

  For your physicians have expressly charg'd,

  For your doctors have specifically commanded

  In peril to incur your former malady,

  To avoid risking you getting sick again,

  That I should yet absent me from your bed:

  That I should still stay away from your bed:

  I hope this reason stands for my excuse.

  I hope this will be enough of an excuse.

  SLY. Ay, it stands so that I may hardly tarry so long; but I would be loath to fall into my dreams again: I will therefore tarry, in despite of the flesh and the blood.

  Yes, it is true that I can hardly wait so long; but I would hate to start dreaming again: I will therefore wait, despite my physical wants.

  [Enter a SERVANT.] />
  SERVANT. Your honour's players, hearing your amendment,

  Your honor's actors, hearing about your recovery,

  Are come to play a pleasant comedy;

  Have come to play a pleasant comedy;

  For so your doctors hold it very meet,

  For your doctors consider it very suitable,

  Seeing too much sadness hath congeal'd your blood,

  Seeing how too much sadness has chilled your blood,

  And melancholy is the nurse of frenzy:

  And sadness leads to madness:

  Therefore they thought it good you hear a play,

  Therefore they thought it a good idea for you to see a play,

  And frame your mind to mirth and merriment,

  And put your mind into a cheerful mood,

  Which bars a thousand harms and lengthens life.

  Which prevents a thousand harms and lengthens life.

  SLY. Marry, I will; let them play it. Is not a commonty a Christmas gambold or a tumbling-trick?

  By Mary, I will; let them act it. Is 'commonty' a Christmas skit or acrobatics?

  PAGE. No, my good lord; it is more pleasing stuff.

  SLY. What! household stuff?

  PAGE. It is a kind of history.

  SLY. Well, we'll see't. Come, madam wife, sit by my side and let the world slip: we shall ne'er be younger.

  Well, we'll see it. Come, madam wife, sit by my side and let the world pass us by: we shall never be younger.

  [Flourish.]

  Padua. A public place

  [Enter LUCENTIO and TRANIO.]

  LUCENTIO. Tranio, since for the great desire I had

  Tranio, because of the great desire I had

  To see fair Padua, nursery of arts,

  To see beautiful Padua, where the arts are nurtured,

  I am arriv'd for fruitful Lombardy,

  I have arrived for productive Lombardy,

  The pleasant garden of great Italy,

  And by my father's love and leave am arm'd

  And through my father's love and permission I am supplied

  With his good will and thy good company,

  With his goodwill and your good company,

  My trusty servant well approv'd in all,

  My trusty servant with approval in all things,

  Here let us breathe, and haply institute

  Here let us breathe, and eventually establish

  A course of learning and ingenious studies.

  A course of learning and intelligent studies.

  Pisa, renowned for grave citizens,

  Pisa, well-known for wise citizens,

  Gave me my being and my father first,

  Was my birthplace,

  A merchant of great traffic through the world,

  A merchant of much buying and selling throughout the world,

  Vincentio, come of the Bentivolii.

  Vincentio, from the Betivoli family.

  Vincentio's son, brought up in Florence,

  Vincentio's son, raised in Florence,

  It shall become to serve all hopes conceiv'd,

  Shall be the one to bring all the hopes to reality,

  To deck his fortune with his virtuous deeds:

  To fill his life with his virtuous actions:

  And therefore, Tranio, for the time I study,

  And therefore, Tranio, during the time I study,

  Virtue and that part of philosophy

  Virtue and many forms of knowledge

  Will I apply that treats of happiness

  I will go about in the kind of happiness

  By virtue specially to be achiev'd.

  That you only get from being good.

  Tell me thy mind; for I have Pisa left

  Tell me what's on your mind; for I have left Pisa

  And am to Padua come as he that leaves

  And have come to Padua in the way of someone who leaves

  A shallow plash to plunge him in the deep,

  A shallow splash and then plunges into the deep water,

  And with satiety seeks to quench his thirst.

  And looks to satisfy his thirst.

  TRANIO. Mi perdonato, gentle master mine;

  Mi perdonato, my gentle master;

  I am in all affected as yourself;

  I am agreeing with you;

  Glad that you thus continue your resolve

  Glad that in this way you continue to be determined

  To suck the sweets of sweet philosophy.

  To fill yourself with the best of knowledge.

  Only, good master, while we do admire

  Only, my good master, while we are admiring

  This virtue and this moral discipline,

  This virtue and this moral strength,

  Let's be no stoics nor no stocks, I pray;

  Let us please not be so serious and studious;

  Or so devote to Aristotle's checks

  Or so devoted to dry information

  As Ovid be an outcast quite abjur'd.

  That we completely abandon the arts.

  Balk logic with acquaintance that you have,

  Use logic that you know,

  And practise rhetoric in your common talk;

  And practice rhetoric in your everyday talk;

  Music and poesy use to quicken you;

  Use music and poetry to make you lively;

  The mathematics and the metaphysics,

  The mathematics and the sciences,

  Fall to them as you find your stomach serves you:

  Go to work on them as suits you best:

  No profit grows where is no pleasure ta'en;

  There is no profit where there is no pleasure;

  In brief, sir, study what you most affect.

  To summarize, sir, study what suits you best.

  LUCENTIO. Gramercies, Tranio, well dost thou advise.

  Mercy, Tranio, you give very good advice.

  If, Biondello, thou wert come ashore,

  If, Biondello, you were to come ashore,

  We could at once put us in readiness,

  We could at once be ready,

  And take a lodging fit to entertain

  And rent a set of rooms fit to entertain

  Such friends as time in Padua shall beget.

  Such friends as we will make during our time in Padua.

  But stay awhile; what company is this?

  But just a moment; who are these people?

  TRANIO. Master, some show to welcome us to town.

  [Enter BAPTISTA, KATHERINA, BIANCA, GREMIO, and HORTENSIO. LUCENTIO and TRANIO stand aside.]

  BAPTISTA. Gentlemen, importune me no further,

  Gentlemen, do not plead with me any further,

  For how I firmly am resolv'd you know;

  For you know how firmly I have resolved;

  That is, not to bestow my youngest daughter

  To not let my youngest daughter marry

  Before I have a husband for the elder.

  If either of you both love Katherina,

  Because I know you well and love you well,

  Leave shall you have to court her at your pleasure.