The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

by William Shakespeare

  You have permission to court her as you wish.

  GREMIO. To cart her rather: she's too rough for me. There, there, Hortensio, will you any wife?

  To cart her rather: she's too rough for me. There, there, Hortensio, will you marry?

  KATHERINA. [To BAPTISTA] I pray you, sir, is it your will

  I'm asking you, sir, is it your intention

  To make a stale of me amongst these mates?

  To make me a bargaining chip among these mates?

  HORTENSIO. Mates, maid!

  Mates, young lady!

  How mean you that? No mates for you,

  What do you mean by that? No mates

  Unless you were of gentler, milder mould.

  Unless you were a gentler, softer type.

  KATHERINA. I' faith, sir, you shall never need to fear;

  In faith, sir, you shall never need to fear;

  I wis it is not halfway to her heart;

  I know it is not halfway to her heart;

  But if it were, doubt not her care should be

  But if it were, have no doubt that her preference would be

  To comb your noddle with a three-legg'd stool,

  To comb your hair with a three-legged stool,

  And paint your face, and use you like a fool.

  And put makeup on your, and use you like a fool.

  HORTENSIO. From all such devils, good Lord deliver us!

  GREMIO. And me, too, good Lord!

  TRANIO. Husht, master! Here's some good pastime toward:

  Hush, master! Here's entertainment for us:

  That wench is stark mad or wonderful froward.

  The rude woman is either insane or incredibly bold.

  LUCENTIO. But in the other's silence do I see

  But in the other's silence I do see

  Maid's mild behaviour and sobriety.

  A young woman's gentleness and calmness.

  Peace, Tranio!

  Quiet, Tranio!

  TRANIO. Well said, master; mum! and gaze your fill.

  Well said, master; be quiet, and feast your eyes.

  BAPTISTA. Gentlemen, that I may soon make good

  Gentleman, so that I may soon make good

  What I have said,--Bianca, get you in:

  What I have said, - Bianca, get in:

  And let it not displease thee, good Bianca,

  And don't let it upset you, good Bianca,

  For I will love thee ne'er the less, my girl.

  For I will not love you any less, my girl.

  KATHERINA. A pretty peat! it is best

  A pretty speech! It would be better

  Put finger in the eye, an she knew why.

  To put a finger in the eye, and she would know why.

  BIANCA. Sister, content you in my discontent.

  Sister, be content despite my lack of contentment.

  Sir, to your pleasure humbly I subscribe:

  Sir, I humbly obey your wishes:

  My books and instruments shall be my company,

  My books and music will be my company,

  On them to look, and practise by myself.

  To look upon them, and practice by myself.

  LUCENTIO. Hark, Tranio! thou mayst hear Minerva speak.

  Listen, Tranio! You may hear the chaste goddess of wisdom speak.

  HORTENSIO. Signior Baptista, will you be so strange? Sorry am I that our good will effects Bianca's grief.

  Sir Baptista, will you act so strangely? I am sorry that our goodwill causes Bianca's grief.

  GREMIO. Why will you mew her up, Signior Baptista, for this fiend of hell,

  Why will you hide her from men, Sir Baptista, for the sake of this devil from hell,

  And make her bear the penance of her tongue?

  And make her endure the punishment of her words?

  BAPTISTA. Gentlemen, content ye; I am resolv'd. Go in, Bianca.

  Gentlemen, calm yourselves; my mind is made up. Go in, Bianca.

  [Exit BIANCA.]

  And for I know she taketh most delight

  And because I know she is most delighted

  In music, instruments, and poetry,

  By music, instruments, and poetry,

  Schoolmasters will I keep within my house

  I will keep good teachers inside my house

  Fit to instruct her youth. If you, Hortensio,

  Suitable to instruct her youth. If you, Hortensio,

  Or, Signior Gremio, you, know any such,

  Or Sir Gremio, you, know any men like that,

  Prefer them hither; for to cunning men

  Recommend them to me; for to talented men

  I will be very kind, and liberal

  I will be very kind, and generous

  To mine own children in good bringing up;

  To my own children in good upbringing;

  And so, farewell. Katherina, you may stay;

  For I have more to commune with Bianca.

  For I have more to discuss with Bianca.

  [Exit.]

  KATHERINA. Why, and I trust I may go too, may I not?

  Why, and I trust I am allowed to go too, may I not?

  What! shall I be appointed hours, as though, belike,

  What? Shall I be given hours, as though, perhaps,

  I knew not what to take and what to leave? Ha!

  I did not know what to take and what to leave? Ha!

  [Exit.]

  GREMIO. You may go to the devil's dam: your gifts are so good here's none will hold you. Their love is not so great, Hortensio, but we may blow our nails together, and fast it fairly out; our cake's dough on both sides. Farewell: yet, for the love I bear my sweet Bianca, if I can by any means light on a fit man to teach her that wherein she delights, I will wish him to her father.

  You may go to the devil's woman: your gifts are so good that no one can hold you back. There love is not so much, Hortensio, that we can't put our differences aside. Farewell: yet, for the love I have for my sweet Bianca, if I can in any way come across a suitable man to teach her in the things that she loves, I will recommend him to her father.

  HORTENSIO. So will I, Signior Gremio: but a word, I pray. Though the nature of our quarrel yet never brooked parle, know now, upon advice, it toucheth us both,--that we may yet again have access to our fair mistress, and be happy rivals in Bianca's love,--to labour and effect one thing specially.

  So will I, Sir Gremio, but a word, please. Though the type of quarrel we've had has never let us negotiate before, know now, upon advice, that it affects us both -- so that we may again have access to our beautiful lady, and be happy rivals in Bianca's love -- to work at and make happen one thing especially.

  GREMIO. What's that, I pray?

  HORTENSIO. Marry, sir, to get a husband for her sister.

  Indeed, sir, to get a husband for her sister.

  GREMIO. A husband! a devil.

  HORTENSIO. I say, a husband.

  GREMIO. I say, a devil. Thinkest thou, Hortensio, though her father be very rich, any man is so very a fool to be married to hell?

  I say, a devil. Do you think, Horensio, that even though her father is very rich, any man is so very a fool to be married to hell?

  HORTENSIO. Tush, Gremio! Though it pass your patience and mine to endure her loud alarums, why, man, there be good fellows in the world, an a man could light on them, would take her with all faults, and money enough.

  Pshaw, Gremio! Though it is beyond your patience and mine to endure her noisiness, why, man, there are enough good fellows in the world, and a man could come across them, who would take her with all her faults, and money enough.

  GREMIO. I cannot tell; but I had as lief take her dowry with this condition: to be whipp'd at the high cross every morning.

  I cannot tell; but I would be as likely to take her dowry with this condition: to be whipped at the city square every morning.

  HORTENSIO. Faith, as you say, there's small choice in rotten apples. But, come; since this bar in la
w makes us friends, it shall be so far forth friendly maintained, till by helping Baptista's eldest daughter to a husband, we set his youngest free for a husband, and then have to't afresh. Sweet Bianca! Happy man be his dole! He that runs fastest gets the ring. How say you, Signior Gremio?

  By my faith, as you say, there's very little choice in rotten apples. But, come; since this shared difficulty makes us friends, it shall remain friendly as long as it goes on, until by helping Baptista's eldest daughter to a husband, we set his youngest free for a husband, and then we can go back to our old rivalry. Sweet Bianca! It would be a happy man to get a reward like that! He that runs fastest wins the prize. What do you think of that, Sir Gremio?

  GREMIO. I am agreed; and would I had given him the best horse in Padua to begin his wooing, that would thoroughly woo her, wed her, and bed her, and rid the house of her. Come on.

  I have agreed; and I would give him the best horse in Padua to begin his wooing, so that he would thoroughly woo and marry her, and rid the house of her. Come on.

  [Exeunt GREMIO and HORTENSIO.]

  TRANIO. I pray, sir, tell me, is it possible

  Please sir, tell me, is it possible

  That love should of a sudden take such hold?

  That love should take me so suddenly?

  LUCENTIO. O Tranio! till I found it to be true,

  Oh Tranio! Until I discovered it to be true,

  I never thought it possible or likely;

  I never thought it possible or likely;

  But see, while idly I stood looking on,

  But see, while I stood idly looking on,

  I found the effect of love in idleness;

  I found the beginning of love in idleness;

  And now in plainness do confess to thee,

  And now plainly confess to you,

  That art to me as secret and as dear

  Who is to me as precious and valuable

  As Anna to the Queen of Carthage was,

  As Anna was to the Queen of Carthage,

  Tranio, I burn, I pine, I perish, Tranio,

  Tranio, I burn, I pine, I die, Tranio,

  If I achieve not this young modest girl.

  If I do not get this young, humble girl.

  Counsel me, Tranio, for I know thou canst:

  Give me advice, Tranio, for I know you can:

  Assist me, Tranio, for I know thou wilt.

  Help me, Tranio, for I know you will.

  TRANIO. Master, it is no time to chide you now;

  Master, it is no time to scold you now;

  Affection is not rated from the heart:

  Affection is not judged by the heart:

  If love have touch'd you, nought remains but so:

  If love has touched you, there is nothing else to do about it.

  Redime te captum quam queas minimo.

  LUCENTIO. Gramercies, lad; go forward; this contents;

  Thank you, lad; go forward; this brings me contentment;

  The rest will comfort, for thy counsel's sound.

  The rest will comfort, for your advice is solid.

  TRANIO. Master, you look'd so longly on the maid.

  Master, you looked so lengthily on the young woman.

  Perhaps you mark'd not what's the pith of all.

  Maybe you did not notice the drawback to it all.

  LUCENTIO. O, yes, I saw sweet beauty in her face,

  Oh yes, I saw such sweet beauty in her face,

  Such as the daughter of Agenor had,

  Like the daughter of Agenor had,

  That made great Jove to humble him to her hand,

  That made the great god Jove [Zeus] to humble himself to her hand,

  When with his knees he kiss'd the Cretan strand.

  When he kneeled upon the island of Crete.

  TRANIO. Saw you no more? mark'd you not how her sister

  Did you see no more? Did you not notice how her sister

  Began to scold and raise up such a storm

  Began to scold and cause such a commotion

  That mortal ears might hardly endure the din?

  That mortal ears could hardly endure the din?

  LUCENTIO. Tranio, I saw her coral lips to move,

  Tranio, I saw her coral-colored lips move

  And with her breath she did perfume the air;

  And with her breath she perfumed the air;

  Sacred and sweet was all I saw in her.

  Holiness and sweetness was all I saw in her.

  TRANIO. Nay, then, 'tis time to stir him from his trance.

  No, then, it is time to wake him from his trance.

  I pray, awake, sir: if you love the maid,

  Please, wake up, sir: if you love the young lady,

  Bend thoughts and wits to achieve her.

  Come up with some way to achieve her.

  Thus it stands: Her elder sister is so curst and shrewd,

  This is the situation: Her elder sister is so cursed and like a shrew,

  That till the father rid his hands of her,

  That until his father gets rid of her,

  Master, your love must live a maid at home;

  Master, your love must live a virgin at home;

  And therefore has he closely mew'd her up,

  And therefore he has closely hidden her away,

  Because she will not be annoy'd with suitors.

  Because she must not be annoyed with suitors.

  LUCENTIO. Ah, Tranio, what a cruel father's he!

  Ah, Tranio, what a cruel father he is!

  But art thou not advis'd he took some care

  But did you not get something out of how he took some care

  To get her cunning schoolmasters to instruct her?

  To find her talented teachers to instruct her?

  TRANIO. Ay, marry, am I, sir, and now 'tis plotted.

  And, indeed, I am sir, and now it is planned.

  LUCENTIO. I have it, Tranio.

  TRANIO. Master, for my hand,

  Master, by my hand,

  Both our inventions meet and jump in one.

  Both our imaginations meet and jump as one.

  LUCENTIO. Tell me thine first.

  Tell me yours first.

  TRANIO. You will be schoolmaster,

  You will be a teacher,

  And undertake the teaching of the maid:

  And go about the teaching of the young lady:

  That's your device.

  That's your plan.

  LUCENTIO. It is: may it be done?

  TRANIO. Not possible; for who shall bear your part

  It is not possible; for who shall take your role

  And be in Padua here Vincentio's son;

  And be Vincentio's son here in Padua;

  Keep house and ply his book, welcome his friends;

  Take care of his affairs, welcome his friends;

  Visit his countrymen, and banquet them?

  Visit his relatives, and dine with them?

  LUCENTIO. Basta; content thee, for I have it full.

  Enough; calm yourself, for I have the full plan.

  We have not yet been seen in any house,

  Nor can we be distinguish'd by our faces

  Nor is it obvious which of us is which

  For man or master: then it follows thus:

  The servant and the master: so it follows this way: